#reliaeble

clay’s always getting himself into bad situations,  always ends up INJURED one way or another.  this just happens to be worse,  he just happened to stand up to the wrong guy,  & now he’s got a stab wound in his side that just keeps bleeding.  scott’s words are almost a comfort,  except he’s still in a lot of pain & still BLEEDING & comforting words do nothing to stifle the panic that rises within.  a panic attack is not what he needs right now,  he’s trying to calm himself down,  but this is undoubtedly a very tense situation.   ❛  you don’t KNOW that.  ❜    that’s the fear talking,  both boys with their hands pressed tightly against the wound,  blood seeping between fingers.   ❛  you can’t.  ❜

when he arrives on scott’s doorstep he’d been running for too long,   injuries ignored throughout his journey flaring up with pain.   it’s all starting to build up,   starting to feel like TOO MUCH.   he’s not sure how much longer he can handle this,   but he can’t even begin to fathom the idea of leaving without estela.   when the door opens there’s a beat of silence where monty seems to be holding himself together,   but he’s quick to unravel once his eyes meet scotts.   he can’t stop the tears that start to fall,   barely hesitates to launch himself forward & hug him.   he hates this,   hates being vulnerable,   but scott had proven that he could do that around him.   SCOTT WAS SAFE.   arms tighten around him,   quietly sobbing into his shoulder,   ignoring any pain that’s made worse by the hug.   ❛ i’m sorry.  ❜   muffled into his shoulder,   immediately starting to feel a little bit like a burden.

it’s a sentiment he’s become all too familiar with as of late,   between hannah & skye & the clubhouse he’d quickly learned all about how intensely he didn’t know what was going on around him.   it was almost driving him INSANE,   just how much he was learning that he never knew was going on.   how oblivious he’d somehow been,   almost as if he’d been purposefully avoiding seeing the bad.   of course he hadn’t,   but sometimes it felt as though that had to be the ONLY option left.   ❛  yeah,   i’m learning that a lot lately.  ❜   & as much as he liked knowing the truth of things,   some part of him wished he was still as naive & ignorant as he had been before hannah's tapes came into his life.   ❛  i’m learning that i pretty much NEVER KNOW about anything.  ❜

❛  i’ve noticed.  ❜   very few people in clay’s life are quite as much of a mystery as scott reed.   the jock had been pretty much antithetical to the other jocks,   had acted entirely opposite to the way clay had expected.   he’d seemed like a pretty cool dude overall,   had been quick to help clay out when he needed it.   it never really made sense to clay,   it probably NEVER WOULD.   he’s naturally suspicious,   assumes the worst of any scenario,   & scott’s attitude towards him had only made clay sure that something was up.   but nothing was up.   scott’s just that kinda guy.   ❛  i don’t get WHY you even want to fit in with them.   you’re NOTHING like them.  ❜   

if there’s one thing montgomery is sure of it’s that he’d never let his friends get hurt.   especially friends like scott,   friends who know things that no one else knows.   his father was meant to be out for the night,   it was supposed to be safe for scott to be there.   but then suddenly plans had apparently changed & monty’s dad was home (& drunk) & not in a good mood.   immediately ranting about how monty couldn’t just bring people into HIS house.   it wouldn’t matter what either of them tried to say,   reasoning with him when he was like this wasn’t possible.   & beyond not being possible,   it wasn’t worth it;   years of trying had taught monty that much.   he knows the signs of his father about to throw a punch by now,   knows to look for the twitch of his left eye & the way he stretches fingers outwards before they’re balled into fists.   but his father isn’t facing him,   he’s facing scott,   & that’s just not something monty’s willing to let happen.   it happens in a flash,   scott pushed back into bedroom,   monty stepping in,   fist connecting with nose,   familiar feeling of blood dripping down towards mouth.   it doesn’t take long for his father to realise what happened,   but by the time he does realise it motny’s already backed up into his bedroom,   slammed door that stands between them & dresser slid in to block it from opening.   done a million times before,   practically muscle memory by now.   but it’s new for him to turn & face someone else standing there,   to know that he’d watched everything that took place.   hand wipes at nose,   not even looking at the blood that now coats the back of hand.   as usual,   DISMISSING the worst of it.    ❛ we probably wanna fuck off through the window.   that ain’t gonna hold him long. ❜

despite the experience he has,   monty never tends to think through EXCUSES for the injuries he gets.   people just assume he got into a fight,   a reasonable assumption considering how often he does get into fights.   questions being asked is never ideal,   searching for a way out of the situation always first instinct.   but that’s not so EASY when it’s someone on the team.   not so easy when he can’t just avoid scott until he forgets about it.    ❛  dude,   you’ve seen me drunk.  ❜   said with a scoff,   as if that explains everything.   as if they’re the kind of bruises you get while drunkenly stumbling around.

injuries are nothing new,   the boy long trapped in a life of misery & pain.   life at home had never been simple,   but a broken bone was the next level,   was something he hadn’t dealt with in a long time.   every movement is paired with a grunt of PAIN,   though there’s an attempt to hide it.   sure,   he could trust scott,   but that didn’t change the intense desire to hide his pain.   bryce is the only person who really knows the extent of his home life,   & even that was only by chance.   opening up,   admitting to things,   that wasn’t something monty did.   VULNERABILITY,   even with the people he cares about most,   was near impossible.   a broken arm is entirely the last thing he needed;   beyond having to come up with an excuse,   there was the issue of baseball.   he can’t play with a broken arm,   can’t be a useful member of the team like this.   his entire future hangs in the balance,   anything he can get from sports being his only shot at college,   & so quickly it’s all come tumbling down.   perhaps worse is that monty knows he’s going to have to deal with the consequences when he next goes home.   his father’s the one that broke his arm,   his father’s the reason he can’t play sports,   HIS FATHER is the one to blame for all of this,   & yet he’d lash out the moment monty got home.   as if it was monty’s fault,   as if his entire future had been put at risk because of his own actions & not because of a shitty parent.   shrug is given,   quickly followed by a groan of pain.    ❛  ’s NOTHING,   you know how it is.  ❜   a shitty response,   considering scott clearly has no idea.   there’s a slight sniffle,   hand of non-broken arm raising to wipe at his face.   vulnerability is monty’s worst enemy,   but it seems he’s got no escape from it.    ❛  you— you really think it’s BROKEN?  ❜   there’s a slight quiver in his voice,   the slightest sign of fear.   he hates it,   more than anything,   & if it was anyone other than scott he’d let the fear come out as anger.   but he can’t do that to scott.   the team is his family,   & scott’s a part of that.