When you ask HIM
Okay, I am not the brightest crayon in the box nor am I the best looking. But I have my crushes, my wants, my desires. And sometimes they all fall into the same perfect specimen.
It took probably six months or more? I had been casually texting here and there, asking how he’s doing, how’s the family. Once in a while asking if he and our friends would like to go to a movie. Always respecting that he enjoys group settings. But this time....this time I just did it. No mention of others. Didn’t even start with a causal, rather boring “normal” date suggested.
I couldn’t hold back any longer. So....I sent it! THE TEXT. Some will say bravo for forward thinking while others will snicker at my less than modest approach. Some may even think me selfish for not including mutual friends. But what do ya do when everything else hasn’t exactly screamed “I want you!”...ahem....I mean, you’re a handsome fellow. *cheeky grin*
I started off casual. Chill.
Me: So what are you doing this weekend?
Him: Not sure. You?
So far, so good right? Wrong! I HAD to open my damn mouth!
Me: Hey! Want to go to...or maybe....and then we...
Him: Oh I can’t! ...but what if we planned something with so and so?
*diappointed face*
Well, I knew I had a 50/50 chance. Was I too forward? Too casual? I mean how far does one go when SHE wants to ask HIM out?
I sat here thinking. Bummed for the response and also proud of myself for making the effort. The response rolling over in my head.
Hanging out with mutual friends is nice. Could have been a full on kick the curb rejection. So, I got with it. But again I question ....
Problem 1:
Did I push to hard? I mean I have acted aloof, calm, chill, frankly I have said anything but “Hey cutie with the hot ass!” Or jumped him right then and there. ....Is he old fashioned and a king someone out in a text is off putting? Please someone give me the answers!! This test sucks.
Lord if I know! I can google “I asked him out and he suggested we all hang out..” or read “he’s just not into you” again. Or watch the movie. But honestly, fellas! What does a girl have to do to get ONE chance?
I also consider this, why does he remain single? Perhaps he is treating an old relationship wound. That’s fine. But there were times he would goof off in a kinda flirty way once or twice. He even had a moment when he liked to talk to me and was comfortable doing so.
Problem 2:
Am I imagining he’s closed off now or did I press the issue too much once before not even realizing? Oh boy! I can only imagine. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I often speak my mind (sometimes nerdy, sometimes dirty) 😖😐 Yup. Getting warmer on that answer now.
Oh, I forgot. Someone started a rumor we were dating when we didn’t think twice about chatting ever. No feelings were there until after all that mess. Thanks anonymous rumor starter! #fornothing
Problem 3:
There are times when we have actual conversations (text) about a lot of things. Some important, some random. I enjoy that. I want a man, not a boy. I want someone to confide in, someone to talk to, someone to enjoy my time with everyday, in a text, once a week, whatever it takes! So, now comes the confession. He can suggest a group hang out and I’ll cave. He can suggest we just text forever and I’ll probably go with it. Damn it.
Dear heart and head - work with me here! Y’all need to stop it! Pick the right guy or stop having feelings already.
*facepalm*
....and my parents wonder why I don’t date....
