Object relations: rejection
Rejection types are focused on staving off rejection, which is why they take a power stance. Since they’re limited in terms of relating to other people, they have preset parameters for interaction. Others basically need to fill these slots.Â
This is tied to the neurosis with regard to their own needs. Depending on the situation, they’ll do mental acrobatics such as ignoring, denying, or burying their needs. So they meet their needs on their own, and when cooperation is needed they’ll deny their needs and go “I didn’t need it anyway”. Cutting off and walking away.Â
The underlying belief is that someone who “doesn’t need xyz” is essentially invulnerable. An invulnerable person can’t possibly be rejected. Cutting off/walking away is seen as affirming one’s independence. The paradox is that a lot of energy gets poured into “detachment”, ending up in anti-dependence rather than independence.Â
