Apr 6
in the insane world where Scott Hunter is Shane's first fight, I would be livid as Ilya. Like Rose levels of grudge. Finally dropping gloves and it's for the washed up benzoic era dude??
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in the insane world where Scott Hunter is Shane's first fight, I would be livid as Ilya. Like Rose levels of grudge. Finally dropping gloves and it's for the washed up benzoic era dude??
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@endemoniado replied to your post “Robyn - Really Real”:
I take it you're enjoying the album?
ive said this before in other words but 13′s main issue is that she cant/doesnt admit things to herself right? she knows without knowing. or knows without feeling. she wont let herself know. she wont admit the reality of things bc she wouldnt be able to handle it. keep everything at arm’s length. nothing can sink in
like sure she knows, rationally, that she lost bill and nardole and missy and that it’s messing her up but she sidesteps it mentally. i dont think she goes around during s11 crying when no one can see. like she isnt hiding from anyone else, shes hiding from herself. she wont let it be conscious. she wont admit to herself that shes hurt
and i wonder if, because the difference between the doctor and the master in general i think is a certain degree of self-awareness and self-knowledge, and because the master got even more in touch with their feelings during the vault times, i wonder if the master cant do that at all right now
like 13′s issue is that nothing can reach her anymore. she has disconnected herself from everything because feeling anything is gonna destroy her (not that she doesnt feel. she just feels subconsciously, she wont put words to the feelings, she wont admit that theyre there)
but for the master it seems like everything hits him very directly all the time now. the only dissociation we see him do i think is those brief moments when his eyes just go suddenly empty
like 13 is moving tectonic plates making earthquakes and hes a live volcano
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I changed up LJ’s design a bit, tho I made his original rainbow form smol and cute with a rubberhose style.
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y'know if we make Ilya like one more shade obsessive he could be collecting all of the things that Shane advertises for.
as much as I struggle with writing mean Dom Ilya I am a mean Dom Ilya truther because I think that it would really be freeing for both of them to explore that. Like (projecting like a IMAX theater) but like I do think it's very hard to work through sadistic urges when you come from an abusive background, and finding someone who genuinely and clearly enjoys and also finds catharsis in masochism is like 🌈🌟🥰
truly playing in the sandbox but I do think hetswap Hollanov could be insane both ways. In canon they are ultimately equals and that creates an interesting dynamic of back and forth! It's great! But god the bitterness and resentment you could drag out of that being made unequal - one of them having fought so much harder to get to the same opportunities, facing so much more external pressure even as the years go on and they've more than proven themselves... Still finding each other and struggling immensely with how unfair a relationship would ultimately be under that context...