#regrets everything

For half a second, he thought that she was referring to some kind of girlfriend, which – she’d seen him make out with Steve in Steve’s car in the parking lot behind the store less than a week ago – but then it clicked, and he smiled at her. “What, Phil? No, Mrs Byers, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’ve told you, it’s Joyce!” she said and swatted his arm lightly. “And I want you to bring him.”

Billy put his pack of cigarettes in his pocket and watched her with his eyebrows raised. “What, really?”

“Yeah, I wanna meet him. All the kids have so many stories to tell, I simply have to meet Phil the great and powerful firebird, or whatever they call him.”

“It’s actually Lazarus the Phoenix, in the … in the game”, Billy said and blushed bright red when Joyce gave him a knowing look. “But, uh, if you’re sure?”

“I’m sure. What do birds eat? Should I make him something special?”

Billy scratched at the back of his neck a little awkwardly. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll bring some food for him.”

He had to look away when Joyce beamed at him. “Great! I’ll see you and Steve tomorrow then – and Phil.”

***

“Are you sure she said it was okay to bring Phil?” Steve said the next day. He was driving, and hesitantly side-eyeing Billy who was in the passenger seat, holding Phil steady in his lap and trying to keep him from eating the bouquet of flowers they’d bought at the gas station.

“Yeah”, Billy said, putting the flowers on the dashboard and wrapping an arm around Phil’s neck to keep him from going after them. “She seemed excited about it, even.”

“Huh”, Steve said. And then, after a moment’s thoughtful silence, “Joyce is the best.”

Billy couldn’t help but agree. “Yeah.”

They got to the Byers’ house early, and were greeted at the door by Will and Lucas, who was already there. Joyce accepted the flowers, cooed over Phil, and when Billy asked if she wanted to hold him, she nodded excitedly. When Phil – who was not exactly used to just being handed over to new people – flapped his wings in discontent, Joyce let go in surprise and they all watched as Phil half fell, half flew onto a nearby table, where he knocked over a porcelain figure of a mouse in a boot. It fell to the floor and broke into a dozen pieces, and Phil jumped in fright but stayed on the table.

No one said anything for a couple of heartbeats, before Steve made a weak ‘ta-daa’ gesture and said, in a slightly unsure voice, “Um, so yeah. Now you’ve met Phil? Yay?”

“Sorry about your … boot”, Billy said and bent down to pick up the broken pieces, while Steve grabbed Phil and put him under his arm.

Joyce, like the angel she was, just laughed and waved it away. “Oh I hated that thing, don’t worry about it. Got it from an aunt that one time. I’ve been keeping it around in the hopes that someone would bump into it eventually. Phil did me a favor, really!”

She went to the closet to get a broom, which Billy took from her hands without a word. She gave him a soft smile and let him clean up the mess without commenting.

“I hope you’re hungry! I made lasagna.”

Joyce wasn’t the best cook, but it wasn’t the food they were there for. It was the sense of warmth, of familiarity, of being welcome. It was the highlight of Billy’s month – if one didn’t count the all the quality time he managed to sneak in with Steve, one on one.

Claudia drove Dustin and Mike over later, and Susan dropped Max off almost at the same time (Joyce went out to exchange a couple of pleasantries with the other mothers). Nancy and Jonathan showed up next, Jonathan having picked her up.

Hopper and El were the last ones to arrive.

And suddenly, it became quite apparent that Joyce had had an ulterior motive, inviting Phil along. Because as soon as Hopper showed up, she grinned at him. Really widely. Like she knew something he didn’t. Hopper, wisely, faltered in his step and narrowed his eyes.

“Uh, hey Joyce. What’s up?”

“Hi, Hop”, she said, and something about her voice made several people look over. She took him by the arm and escorted him into the house. “We have a special guest here today, who’s just been dying to meet you.”

“Uh”, Hopper said cleverly. Joyce placed him in the middle of the couch, where he sat all ramrod-straight and looked around the room nervously.

By now, the rest of them had gotten inside too, and were watching Joyce. Because she was clearly planning something. She went into the kitchen, looked around and walked out again. Then she went into the hallway, disappearing from sight. A quiet “aha!”, and soon she was back – struggling to hold a squirming and flapping cock in her hands.

Most of the people in the house were watching Joyce, because it really did look like Phil would escape her grip at any moment – but Billy glanced over at Hopper, and once he did, he couldn’t look away.

Because Hopper – at the sight of Phil – went white as a sheet. He stood up so fast he almost lost his balance, and as Billy watched in wonder, Hopper actually backed up onto the couch, and then over it to get to the other side. With a piece of furniture between himself and Joyce-holding-a-bird, he held one hand out and put the other at his side, as if he was itching to draw his gun (which he wasn’t wearing, thankfully).

“Hey now!” he said, gruffly, but everyone could hear the waver in his voice.

Billy jumped in and plucked Phil from Joyce when it looked like he was going to claw at her, and the bird immediately calmed down. Joyce turned to Hopper, still grinning.

“Have you met Phil?” she said, sweetly.

“Hrm”, Hopper said, not moving from behind the couch – and keeping one eye on the bird in Billy’s arms. “We’ve met.”

“Briefly”, Billy added, because now when he thought about, Hopper hadn’t exactly seemed thrilled the last time, when he’d pulled Billy over in his car and had Phil as a passenger. “But I believe proper introductions are in order, don’t you?” He took a step closer and got the pleasure to witness Hopper – big, burly Chief of Police Jim Hopper – back into the wall and shake his head.

“Nope. No, not at all. Nuh-uh.”

“What’s the matter, Hop?” Joyce said, voice like poisoned honey, still grinning. “Something wrong?”

Hopper looked away from Billy and Phil for long enough to throw a despairing look at her. “Come on Joyce, I said I was sorry!”

“The spider was as big as my palm, Hop.”

“I killed it for you!”

“After you laughed at me for like five minutes.” She leaned in and, seemingly ignoring everyone else in the room, looked Hop dead in the eye. “Payback’s a bitch, Hop. Now come and say hi to Phil.”

Hopper glanced apologetically at Billy. “No offence, kid, but no way in hell am I getting close to that thing.”

Joyce laughed, and El frowned. “Don’t you like Phil?” She looked almost offended at this. Honestly, Billy could relate.

But Joyce pulled her close by her shoulders and gave her a half-hug. “Oh no, honey. Hop’s got ornithophobia.”

“Ornito…?”

Joyce looked insanely pleased as she turned and gave Hopper another sickly-sweet smile. “He’s afraid of birds.”

Billy had to bite his lip at that so he wouldn’t laugh, and he couldn’t look at Steve because Steve was obviously having the same troubles. The kids seemed to still be stuck on whether ‘ornithophobia’ was a real thing or something Joyce just made up, and Nancy hid a smile behind her hands.

“It’s not funny!” Hopper said, although no one seemed to be agreeing with him.

“It’s a little funny”, Joyce said and turned to Will and Mike, who were standing the closest. “Did I ever tell you about the time when Hopper had to deal with that owl who thought that Eleanor Gillespie’s hair was a nest? I’ve never laughed so much in my life.”

“It was the worst thing that happened to me in Hawkins since I moved here”, Hopper grumbled, looking a little red-faced, but taking a couple of steps out from behind the couch. Then he seemed to realize what he’d said. “Well. Until recently, at least.”

“How can you be afraid of birds?” Max asked, scrunching her face up in a way that made her look simultaneously confused and like she smelled something bad. “They’re basically just feathered balloons.”

“Look, kid”, Hopper said, sounding serious. “I saw ‘The birds’ in the theatre with a buddy of mine when I was their age” – here, he pointed a thumb at Billy and Steve, who were still trying hard not to laugh, “and it fucked me up.”

El levelled him with a disappointed stare. “Jim. Language.”

“I mean, I got really messed up from it, okay?” He turned to Jonathan, gesturing wildly. “You’ve seen that movie, right? It’s awful! You know?”

Everyone looked at Jonathan, who looked a little bit uncomfortable to be at the center of attention. But then he cleared his throat, shrugged one shoulder and said, “I don’t know, man, I kinda like Hitch– “ He cut himself off, abruptly. Then, with the face of someone who just realized that he’s made a huge mistake, he hesitantly finished, “–cock.”

Hopper’s face fell, Joyce snorted, and Billy laughed until he cried.