#regreteverything

4:53 a.m. I had a god-awful dream. Wyatt was back. He was angry with me. Angry wasn’t a strong enough word. He was livid. Pissed that I ever took her journal, that I wouldn’t answer his calls, that I had turned Summer and Liam against him. He was even maddened that I broke up with Chuck. There was so much rage in his eyes, he was yelling at me continuously, but it wasn’t audible the longer the nightmare continued.  Everything was a blur around us, it was as though the entire world had dissolved and there was nothing else in existence. There was only him roaring at me and the eerie cold that grew inside me as I held back my tears. It felt like hours passed before I woke, alone in my bed. It should have been a relief, but the moment I jolted back into reality felt worse. My subconscious was right, taking that girls journal, her video diaries. It was beyond wrong. God, I even stole a teddy from her memorial. I continued to sob, my arms itching for the bite of steel. I hugged my knees to my chest and kept myself from crying out. I couldn’t let myself make a sound, not with Tabitha and Blake in the next room and god knows who asleep in the lounge.  #thegirldiaries #regreteverything #youngadultfiction #comingin2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCw-WU5gwlN/?igshid=1cz6e904obebs

I fiddled with the ring Chuck gave me as the passengers around me began to disembark the plan. Looking outside at the dreary grey sky, rain drumming against the tarmac, my first impressions of my sister's new home town is that it's more than a little depressing. The baby that had been sleeping in her mother's arms beside me woke up. Her slumber disturbed by the sounds of the luggage being scraped out of the overhead compartments. I stood up to let the woman leave and then sat down again. There was no point going anywhere yet. Natalie would still be at work for another few hours and I didn't have enough money for a taxi to where she lived up in the mountains. I didn't have enough to even make it into the city. I would be able to afford meals for today and tomorrow and then I was out of funds until payday. I had planned to bring along my stash of funds inside Mr. Zeddy Bear but as Chuck pointed out yesterday while I was packing, I'd also been storing weed and on occasion Wyatts unmentionables inside him regularly. My chances were good that airport security would pick up traces. So I hid him inside the bathroom ceiling and am now reliant on my eftpos card only for this trip. "Time to go miss," the airhostess said holding out my small travel bag for me to take. I stood up and grabbed the handle. "Thanks." She smiled and walked towards the front of the plane to speak to the pilot. There was a ladder in the back of her stockings, just above her ankle. As I walked past her I thought about telling her she could use some clear nail polish to stop it running further but figured she was unlikely to take advice from fifteen-year-old me. **** At Natalies. "Dinners ready sis." I dog eared the page I had been reading and set down 'The curse of wexia' on the bedside table. The story had been so engrossing I'd almost managed to block out the sound of the downpour outside. The deafening roar of water against the thin tin roof returned with a vengence now.  #authorschallenge2019 #amwriting #nanowrimo2019 #thegirldiaries #regreteverything #1wordpromptchallenge https://www.instagram.com/p/B4gHAznA6H2/?igshid=3n6jbc8tutp1

Raided my side garden this morning before setting up my new home office. I plan to kick some literary butt this #nanowrimo but I've still got about 34k to write before #regreteverything is complete. Finally the end is in sight! Eleven books have now been started for #thegirldiaries I have only planned for tweleve books total in this series. Better yet, in 10 days I am going to be releasing the fourth installment #trustdeficit This just makes me all warm and #fuzzy inside. I've never been proud of myself. I was in a really bad place emotionally before I started releasing this series but I've learnt so much in the past year since I started writing my book series instead of enrolling back in university at the end of 2018. I'm finally feel like I am giving something back to the world. Something more worthwhile than slugging it out as a nurse and losing my will to keep living. I hope everyone else who is just starting out finds their groove in the #writingcommunity soon also and always remember #everystorymatters #1wordpromptchallenge #amediting #amwriting https://www.instagram.com/p/B4ZFBIFp3cK/?igshid=gxgajzm60c99

I regret everything has the biggest door. #regret #noregrets #regreteverything #lol😂 #writinglife (at Sunset Beach, California)

Really sucks to know I messed things up between us. #NeverForgiveMyself#RegretEverything

5 years are over now and who said I can’t start all over again and being an otaku? nobody! it’s my life and my way. I can finally be, who I ever wanted to be.

I signed up for this vocational tech school yesterday. It's an awesome school and it lets you prepare for college your junior and senior year of high school. Only problem is, I can't do band when I go there. Now I have to go persuade my band teacher with cookies and tuba shirts until he lets me do jazz band and marching band even though I won't get the credit for school for it.