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Rocket Science
Referee: They didn't start the snap. The formation penalty only results in a five yard foul, it won't run time.
Mike Singletary: You know this stuff is waaay too complicated. That's for rocket scientists. This is football.
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An Improvement
Mike Carey: Hi Tom, congratulations. How was that frost bite? That was pretty cold, wasn't it?
Tom Coughlin: At least they were talking about my face this year. Last year it was my ass.
We're All Friends Here
John Randle: That tackle's kinda deep. You're being polite and cordial, I'ma be polite and cordial.
Referee: You're such a swell guy. I'm gonna put you down in my scrapbook, you know that John?
Randle: Oh really? I'ma put you on my Christmas list then. How's that?
The Gun Show
As soon as I heard the rumors today, I got down on the floor and started doing pushups.
- Ed Hochuli as told to Jeff Darlington
photo credit: sports illustrated
Don't Shoot the Messenger
LaMar Woodley: What's up?
Official: Coach says stop bitching and get to the quarterback.
Woodley: Man, get outta here!
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Liar Liar
Todd Haley: Is anybody paying attention? Did their guy not pick up the ball and throw it right at our guy?
Referee: I don't think so. He spiked the ball out of bounds. That's what he told me.
Haley: That's what he told you?
Referee: That's exactly what he told me - he spiked the ball out of bounds.
Haley: I tell my wife I take the garbage out. Sometimes I don't.
