#redolence

I mean, I don’t think I’ve publicly stated on here that I’m a survivor of sexual/physical abuse during a long-term relationship when mental health and threats of suicide kept me around far longer than I should have allowed. I’ve hit my low, tried to die, gotten help, risen up and gotten myself out of that terrible place we’re left to rot after these situations. Its a very difficult thing to process, heal from, and my heart breaks for the women and men that deal with this every day. 

While dealing with Lui isn’t difficult (as his case was very black and white with a fucking dick pic to a 15 year old while hes 30 and he’s not really needed in the story), the situation with Mini is different. He’s obviously one of the main characters, and ironically, deals most with the idea of sexual assault in the AU. I’m still trying to sort out the allegations that were made about him, as I know ages and areas of the world are being brought into question. I’m also looking into what his survivors (they did not die, they are warriors who survived, so they are not victims) want us followers to do, and how this is treated on his side of things. The worst thing people can do in situations like this is to form an opinion without all the pieces (as most rapists get away with their crimes due to this kind of mindset, sadly). Also again I just heard about this like, 9 hours ago and worked all day afterwards so...

At the moment, Redolence is on hiatus. 

But, if all things check out and he doesn’t meet my very high expectations of what needs to be done, then I guess I don’t really have a choice, do I? 

Redolence will have to be cancelled. It’s not something I like thinking about, mainly because I’ve put so much work into it and it’s the only story that’s really keeping me in the BBS fandom. With LH’s new version and book 3 starting in July, I didn’t plan to really do much else for a while. And though I enjoy writing content for BBS, I don’t really think I can start the story up again without Mini. Nobody else really fits the role or the plans I had for his character. To remodel the entire plot would just be disheartening, and who knows who else is going to get called out next. I wish I could say I trust none of the others will have accusations about them, but look where that brought us, now. 

So that’s kind of my stance atm. I’ll wait for the other shoe to drop, see what’s left in the fallout, and make my final decision then.   

Thank you,

*****

"Why do we do this job again?"

You tilted your head back to see your best friend and fellow Omega on her back with a frown on her face. Karen Page was scowling at her phone.

"Is that your Alpha?"

And there it was, an attractive blush over her cheeks. If anything could get her out of her sour puss mood, it was mention of her Alpha.

"He's not my Alpha," she stressed even as her blush grew darker, "he's just an Alpha I happen to see a lot."

Since the two of you were in the common room, you didn’t remind her that she saw him outside of the Companion Center where the two of you lived and worked. If someone overheard, Karen and her Alpha would be in serious trouble. 

Alpha and Omega relationships weren't forbidden. In fact if an Alpha and an Omega started a relationship after meeting in the Companion Center, it was seen as a successful union. But there were proper channels and a process to it.

Plus it meant Karen would have to leave the center. She'd either get her own apartment or move in with her Alpha, a military man named Frank Castle. 

But for the sake of clarity, you reminded Karen why you both did this job.

"We work here because we both make more money in a month than we could in six months or a year at a job on the outside."

It was true. The normal salary for an Omega at the Companion Center was a few thousand dollars a month. Since they didn't have to pay rent or utilities, money was spent on decorating their homes and things like clothes or groceries. 

Everything else was savings. You yourself had a very nice chunk of change in a savings account for when you left the center permanently. 

Karen sighed and put her phone down on her chest. 

"He says his rut is in a few weeks," she explained quietly.

Ah, so that's why she was frowning. That was, after all, the purpose of the Companion Center and the reason the two of them met.

When an Alpha knows their rut is coming, they go to the Companion Center to pick an Omega. You hadn't seen the choosing room but you imagined a large book with scratch and sniff stickers. Alphas would be given your name and a receptor with your scent and that was how they picked which Omega to spend their rut with. 

They could request the same Omega after that, if they were happy with the results the first time. That's how Karen and Frank got to know each other before they randomly met in the city when Karen was running errands.

And now they talked daily.

If Frank's rut was coming up, it meant he'd come to the center and request to see Karen. That in itself was fine, but you had the feeling that Karen was starting to resent her job a little bit. 

It had to feel weird to have feelings for a man you met at the center. The whole purpose was to come in and have casual sex with someone you didn't know. 

Well, the purpose was more nuanced than that, but that's what it boiled down to. The Omegas were there to help the Alphas during their rut. It wasn't supposed to be romantic or meaningful.

You understood the protestations of society about Companion Centers. They likened it to prostitution or being a sex slave. But you didn't feel that way. 

Alphas didn't pay for the service, so you weren't a prostitute. You got paid for being a Companion which wasn't always sex. Some Alphas came to the center for companionship. Omegas came to the center to learn about their physiology. It wasn't always sex, so you weren't a sex slave.

You weren't a slave at all. You picked this job. Sure, you lived and worked at the center, but you were free to leave. And you could go out to the city anytime you wanted. 

Stories of Omegas being trafficked for Alphas in ruts were rampant in the city though. And female Omegas were often taken for forced breeding with Alphas as that was the most surefire way to get an Alpha child. 

You gave Karen's hand a comforting pat, unsure what you could say that would make her feel better. Then you pushed yourself off the floor where you had settled and stood up, cracking your back a bit as you did. 

"I'm going to go make dinner. Give me a call if you want to watch a movie or something."

Karen gave you a welcome smile before you turned and headed to the elevator.

The elevators in the center worked differently than most. It didn't just move up and down, but also horizontally. The center was some thirty stories high and a few football fields in length. It held a hundred living quarters for Omegas.

The Alpha would get in the elevator on the main floor and the controller would send them to the Omega they had picked. It would go to the floor and then rotate until it found the correct apartment. 

Not unlike a vending machine which was ironic.

You got into the elevator and scanned your wrist where you wore your ID tag. It told the elevator which apartment was yours. It also told people in the city that you were an Omega at the Companion Center and therefore protected. 

The elevator came to a stop at your apartment and you got out. Down the short hallway, you scanned your ID tag once more to be let in. This way only you were allowed in your room unless you opened the door for the other person. It was for the safety of the Omega.

In your apartment, you started for the kitchen but a gentle chime made you hesitate. The touchscreen next to the door was lit up with a message. 

You tapped the corner which brought the message to full screen. 

Alpha 659437 - William Russo requests Companionship 

You had been requested. You clicked on the name and waited for the information to load. There wasn't much, but there never was.

Thirty six years old, previous military, currently a businessman. There were physical traits but you never read through those. 

Back on the first screen you finally saw the time requested. It was for that same day in just a few hours. Usually companion requests were sent a few days ahead of time, but maybe this Alpha hadn't been aware that his rut was on its way.

You tapped a green square at the bottom of the screen after you read the information. It thanked you for accepting the Alpha’s request before the screen went dark.

With an Alpha on the way, you didn't have time to make dinner. Instead you checked your fridge to make sure you had enough food and water for the evening to come. Satisfied, you grabbed a protein bar and headed into your bedroom.

It was clean except for some dirty clothes which you put into the hamper and then put into your closet. Then you stripped your bed and put those in a separate hamper to wash later.

In a separate closet were rows of vacuum sealed bags that you removed. The routine was familiar after a few years. These sheets were washed with unscented detergent so that the Alpha wouldn't be assaulted with too many different scents. You put them on the bed and pillows. Next was a quilt from one of the vacuum sealed bags.

Bed made, you finished your protein bar. It wasn't much, but you'd grab a second one after your shower. 

That was next in the routine. In your bathroom there were bottles of different scented shampoos and body washes. Instead you pulled out a few items from a grey box that was under your sink. You set out a few on the counter that the Alpha could use if he needed. Then you grabbed yours from the box.

Unscented soap, unscented shampoo and conditioner, vacuum sealed washcloth and towel.

After you had showered and dried off, you pulled out some clothes to wear. Plain underwear and a sports bra paired with a pair of soft yoga pants and a t-shirt. These were clean but they weren't vacuum sealed. This way they held your scent enough that the Alpha would recognize you from the choosing room where they had picked out your scent.

And also to get them used to your scent before their rut took hold. At that point, they'd be smelling a lot of you. 

You only had about thirty minutes to kill at that point so you went into the kitchen and grabbed another protein bar. While you munched on that, you pulled out some food to set on the table.

Some Alphas wanted a meal first, to talk and get to know their Omega companion. Some wanted to watch television or just talk. A few had played cards with you. 

Some Alphas just wanted to go straight to bed. Those were your least favorite. They made you feel like some sort of commodity, just something for them to use. They were also the ones that left immediately after.

You, like most Omegas at the Companion Center, preferred the Alphas that talked to you like a human. They were grateful for your help during their rut. An Alpha without someone to spend their rut with was miserable. The ones that just treated you like a thing to use? Those made your skin craw. 

The time ticked by slowly, but finally your touchscreen chimed. You clicked on the view and saw that a tall man was in the hallway with the elevator doors closing behind him. The camera wasn’t very high tech so you couldn’t make out any of his physical characteristics, but you didn’t need to.

You pressed the button on the touchscreen that activated the speaker.

"Alpha ID?"

The man looked at the door in confusion until he saw the speaker and camera. Then he gave it a nod.

"659437."

You released the speaker button and then unlocked the door. When you pulled it all the way open, you were surprised by what you saw. His face was scarred, but there was more than that. Even with those scars, he was terribly handsome. Dark eyes and long lashes, some facial hair spread over the unscarred parts of his cheeks, a mouth that was downturned into a frown.

You bet he looked beautiful when he smiled.

“Please come in,” you said as you waved him into your apartment. “Make yourself at home.”

He hesitated a moment and you felt a frown tug at your own lips. It wouldn’t be the first time you’d been turned down by an Alpha when they got to your apartment, but it never got easier. Just as you started to build yourself up to tell him he could go back down and pick someone else, he stepped across the threshold.

You shut the door behind him and watched as he looked around. His hands were fisted at his side as he stood stiffly in the middle of your entryway. But at least he was inside. You could fall onto your companion training.

“Do you want something to eat? Or drink? I have some stuff laid out if you’re hungry,” you said as you moved around him to the table, letting him see the options. “I can also make something if you’d prefer.”

He turned to face you and you noticed that the frown wasn’t as fierce as it was before. Now he just seemed confused.

“Do you always feed Alphas when they come by?”

He had a bit of a New York accent that made you want to smile, but you didn’t. You didn’t want him to think you were laughing at him. Instead you shrugged a shoulder and met his eyes.

“If you are hungry, sure. If you aren’t hungry, we can sit and watch television for a bit. Or just talk, if you’d prefer,” you offered as you gestured towards the couch and loveseat in the living room.

He still looked confused. With a nod, he moved into the living room and sat down on one of the couches. You followed his lead and moved to sit on the loveseat, keeping yourself near to him but not crowding him. He looked uncomfortable.

He was thirty six; surely this wasn’t his first time at the Companion Center? Going that long without a partner for his rut would make him nearly feral once it hit. The center was usually careful with that, but perhaps they missed something.

You needed to put him at ease, so you continued with your training.

“What would you like me to call you? Alpha Russo? William?”

He shook his head at that. You were wondering if maybe you weren’t to call him anything when he finally spoke.

“Billy. You can call me Billy.”

Billy. You wondered if it fit the man on your couch. He looked more like a William, mature and in charge, but maybe Billy would grow on you.

“Alright Billy. You can call me Y/N if you would like.” 

Always defer to what they wanted, always give them the choice. These were things that you had learned early in your training and it was the easiest to fall back on. But Billy was still sitting stiffly on the couch.

It would be rude to ask if this was his first time at the Companion Center. It would be rude to question why he was requesting a companion if it seemed like he didn’t actually want one.

Instead you moved to the edge of the cushion you were on and waited for his eyes to meet yours once more.

“Billy, you seem tense. Would you like me to rub your shoulders? Just to help you relax a bit.”

He seemed surprised. There was a long moment before he gave a nod, giving you permission. You stood up and slowly moved to stand behind the couch. Then you carefully placed the backs of your hands against his shoulders. It gave him a moment to prepare and accept that someone—an Omega—was behind him. Alphas were notorious for attacking when they felt threatened so you were trained to never be threatening.

Once you were sure he would not flinch or attack, you pressed your palms to his shoulders. You could feel the tension that he held there. As you started to press in with your thumbs, you started up a thread of conversation.

“Did you see that it’s going to storm for the entire weekend? The weather channel said we’re going to record amounts of rain.”

You kept up the ministrations of your hands as you talked to him about the weather. His responses were monosyllabic, but at least he was responding. And you could feel a little relaxation in his shoulders as you worked.

“I’m sorry for being… awkward,” he finished in a tone that was closer to self deprecation and humor than you had expected. 

“Nothing to apologize for,” you promised as you rested your hands on his shoulders. “Do you want me to continue?”

There was a moment of hesitation before he nodded jerkily. You continued your work while talking to him about a movie you had seen recently.

The massage actually held two benefits. It would loosen him up a bit, sure, but it also got him used to your touch and scent. You were sure to turn your wrists towards him as often as you could and make it seem natural. The scent glands in the wrists were gentle and not overbearing so it was the easiest way to get a new Alpha used to your scent.

“The last time I came to the center, it wasn’t like this,” he admitted as you worked on a particularly stubborn knot near his shoulder blade.

Your hands paused for a moment at that. You did some math in your head and then let out a breath.

“You haven’t been to the center in over five years?” 

That’s when the change happened, when the Betas that ran the center changed the protocols from just sex to companionship.

“I was deployed for some of that. Then I started a business right after I got out. And I was in recovery for a while.”

His scars. You remembered that he had been in the military and now he was a businessman. It wasn’t unusual for the body to shut down the mating response while under all that stress, plus the military used suppressants. And if he was injured, which obviously he was, his body would have been focused on healing rather than mating.

But that made you pause for a different reason.

With one hand still on him at all times, you moved to stand beside the couch where he was sitting. You didn’t want to break the contact and you told yourself it was because you didn’t want to lose this connection the two of you had started.

“Billy, I have a question that I normally wouldn’t ask an Alpha, especially not on our first meeting. Will you permit me to ask a personal question?”

He closed his eyes—more of a wince than anything else.

“Go ahead.”

You gave his shoulder a brief squeeze, letting him feel that you were still there. With his eyes closed, you definitely didn’t want to take your hand away from him.

“How long has it been since your last rut?”

His eyes popped open and you immediately yanked your hand away from his shoulder, despite your training that fast movements weren’t a good idea. His hand shot out and wrapped around your wrist, but there wasn’t any violence in the touch.

It was more like he just wanted the contact. Like he needed it maybe. He tugged your wrist closer to him and you watched as he stared down at the inside of your wrist.

“I thought you were going to ask what happened,” he said as if he was addressing your wrist.

You opened your mouth as that sank in. That’s why he had reacted the way he had when you asked. It made sense, but you would never be so impertinent as to ask that kind of question. You were about to relay as much to him, but he shook his head and began speaking once more.

“I had a rut before my accident, but I didn’t have a… companion, I guess. I got through it alone. They usually come on pretty quickly for me and I didn’t have a chance to get to the center before it hit fully.”

You slowly reached out with your free hand and covered his with yours.

“That must be difficult. But you’re here now. I’ll take good care of you Billy.”

It was something you usually said to the Alphas. You meant it in an all encompassing kind of way, like you providing food and a massage if they needed it. Billy nodded his head, his eyes still on your wrist. You watched as he raised it up, but all he did was press his nose to the soft skin there.

His skin felt warm. And by the way he was checking your scent, he was getting closer to his rut taking hold.

“Would you stand for me?”

He opened his eyes slowly, blinking them lazily as if he had been getting lost in your scent. Then he gave a nod as if he had just heard your question. You stood up and he followed suit, still holding on to your wrist. Once he was standing, you stepped backwards so that he would have to step with you.

Two more steps and then you were away from the couches. He followed almost as if he was entranced, but you could see a flush rising to his skin. You didn’t think he was the kind to blush, so it was more that his rut was starting to take hold. Of course he had just been inhaling the scent of an Omega, so it wasn’t a surprise that his rut was kicking in.

“We’re going to go to the bedroom now,” you said softly as you stepped into his space, seeing his eyes become heavy lidded as he looked down at you. 

His irises were so dark that you almost couldn’t see the pupil. Or maybe it was just that his pupils were so large right then. 

You led him towards your bedroom with his hand still wrapped around your wrist. Across the threshold, you glanced back and caught his eyes roaming over your body. You felt a little gratified by the look in his eye and that was intensified by the sight of him getting hard in his jeans.

Shit. You couldn’t remember the last time you were actually attracted to an Alpha that had requested you. And you definitely couldn’t remember the last time you’d gotten hot under the collar at the way they reacted to you.

In the safety of the bedroom, you lowered the lighting so that it wasn’t so bright. Then you moved so that you were both next to the bed. You could see the rise and fall of his chest as his breathing started to race.

“Do you want to start like this? Or do you want to go ahead and get undressed?”

You barely got the question out before he was kicking off his shoes and socks. As he fought with the zipper of his jeans, you raised your hands to your shirt. His hands clasped around your wrists and he shook his head.

“I want to do that,” he breathed in a low voice as he stepped closer to you.

With his jeans unbuttoned and open, he grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it off of you. Once that was off, he pulled off his own shirt.

He had scars. You expected it after seeing his face, but the reality was different. You fought back the urge to trace them with your fingers. His hands moved to the bottom of your sports bra and he pulled that off of you as well.

For the first time since he had touched your wrist, he looked uncertain. You grabbed his hands and pressed them on your ribs, letting him feel you take a deep breath that way.

“You can touch me,” you said in a soft voice, your mouth feeling a bit dry at the feel of his hands on your skin. 

His hands slid up your sides to cup your breasts. You felt his thumbs brush over your nipples and you bit your lip to keep from making an incredibly embarrassing noise. He did it again and this time you let your head fall forward at the feeling. 

Then his hands were gone, but only long enough for him to shed his jeans and briefs. He stood before you completely nude. With your head tilted, you could look as much as you wanted without being caught. And yeah, he was beautiful all the way down.

His hands were back on your skin, but this time they moved down your body. His fingers hooked under the waistband of your yoga pants and the underwear you wore under them. He tugged them down over your hips and thighs, letting you kick them off.

Now you were both bare. His eyes were all over your body. You wanted more than his eyes though. You wanted his hands on your body. You grabbed his wrists and moved his hands to your sides once more. One of his hands went up to your breast again, but the other moved down. It went over your hip to your thigh, the tips of his fingers pressing into the swell of your ass. He tugged you close as he did that, your bodies so close you could feel the heat from him.

“Y/N?”

It was the first time he’d said your name. You blinked up at him and hoped that he couldn’t tell how hazy you were just then. His eyes looked crystal clear as he stared down at you.

With your head tilted up to him, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss you. Only he stopped a few inches away. Realizing that he wasn’t going to take that step without your permission, you surged up to kiss him. The touch of his lips against yours seemed to set a fire inside of him.

Warmth spread over your body from him. His hands moved to grip your hips, tugging you up so that you had to wrap your legs around his waist. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you kissed him, sucking on his tongue and panting harshly against his mouth. Then everything was topsy turvy until you felt your back against the bed.

He had tipped the two of you over. It put the weight of him resting between your legs. You put your feet against the bed and rolled your hips upwards, grinding up against his cock. He pushed your hips down and leaned over you, kissing you hard once more.

As an Omega, your sex drive usually mirrored that of the Alpha you were with when they were in a rut. You felt like you were going to combust if Billy didn’t get inside of you soon so you could only imagine how he was feeling. And with him having so few ruts in the last few years, you weren’t exactly sure what to expect.

He pulled your hands from around his sides and pressed them down against the bed on either side of your head. His fingers lingered on your wrists as he kissed you, his tongue sliding against yours. When he pulled away, it was to kiss across your jaw and down your neck, inhaling over your scent glands. His teeth scraped against your collarbone and you rolled your hips up into his again.

When he finally released your wrists, it was so that his hands could go down your body. His hands went to your thighs and spread them wider. Then he was kissing his way down your body. You looked down to watch as he kissed across your thighs. He pressed his nose into the junction of your thigh and your pelvis and took a deep breath. The scent glands there were the strongest, but you hadn’t expected him to pay much attention to it.

Most Alphas were more interested in their own pleasure, but Billy didn’t seem to be in any rush to get inside you. Instead his hand went between your legs. His fingers rubbed between your folds, finding you already dripping wet. He made a pleased noise at finding the wetness there. You were sure he would put his fingers inside of you then, give you something, but instead he spread your folds and lowered his mouth to your clit.

“Fuck,” you moaned as your hand went to the back of his head to hold him close, your hips moving to grind your pussy against his mouth.

His tongue lapped up at your wetness, sliding up the length of your slit. Then he focused attention on your clit, sucking and circling his tongue around the bundle of nerves. His fingers moved lower. His middle finger went in first, curling upwards to brush against your g-spot. He fucked it in and out of you while he focused his mouth on your aching clit.

You were lost in the feeling that he was causing. All you could do is ride it out as he added a second finger. The fingers moved faster and faster, slamming into you harder. It was so close to what you really needed. That and the suction of his mouth on your clit had your back arching as your orgasm rocked over you.

Usually you’d come when the Alpha did, but you could probably count on one hand the number of Alphas who wanted to make you come before they did. Most Alphas were more focused on their pleasure.

Billy pulled away from your pussy, wiping his mouth as he did. His tongue ran along his bottom lip and you clenched around the fingers still inside of you. His eyes moved down to where he was inside of you, grinning at the feeling. He pumped the fingers in you a few times before he sat up completely.

“Do you have condoms?”

You leaned up on one arm and leaned over to your bedside table. Inside was a new box and you pulled it out. You had a feeling you were going to need a new box after tonight.

He opened the box and then pulled out one of the condoms. He opened the foil and then held it out to you.

“Put it on me.”

There was a thread of the Alpha compulsion in his voice, but you didn’t think he was doing it on purpose. You grabbed it from him to slide it on him, jerking his cock a few times just because you couldn’t help yourself. It was like the perfect length and girth, fit perfectly in your hand. 

An image of your mouth on it made your pussy clench again, but thankfully he didn’t feel it this time. Usually any time you gave oral was because the Alpha requested it. You’d never wanted to do it as badly as you did right then.

Once the condom was on him, you started to roll over. Most Alphas preferred the first time to be with the Omega on their hands and knees. But Billy grabbed your hip and refused to let you roll over completely. Instead he wrapped your leg around his hips. He guided his cock to your entrance, but didn’t push in.

You weren’t sure what he was waiting for. You tried to pull him closer, but it wasn’t enough. There was pressure building and you could feel the heat from him. You needed him inside of you soon.

“Please Billy,” you pleaded, your breath catching on his name.

That must have been what he was waiting for because you barely got his full name out before he was sliding inside of you. His cock stretched you more than his fingers had. You squeezed around his cock as he rocked shallowly. Once he was sure your body was ready, he pulled almost all the way out and then slammed his hips forward. His thrusts were a tease, not nearly enough.

You reached one hand up and ran it over his head, desperate for more from him. He inhaled deeply at your wrist before he leaned in to kiss you. After a few desperate, panting kisses, his thrusts became wilder and more forceful. You could feel as he lost himself to the full throes of his rut. His hips pistoned between your thighs, slamming his cock into you over and over. You scratched over his back and shoulders, desperate to keep him close. Somewhere between the forceful thrusts and his mouth against yours, you felt a second orgasm build low in your stomach. As it crashed over you, Billy let out a growl against your mouth. 

A pleased growl, at that. You could feel his pleasure at making you come again. And now you wanted that pleasure. You clenched around his cock as best as you could, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts. His skin was almost feverish under your hands so you knew that he was close. He buried his face into your neck, his mouth biting down on the skin there as his thrusts became erratic. 

You took the moment to inhale his scent. The smell of Billy was mixed with sex and the spice from his rut but it all smelled so good to you. You let out a long moan as you felt his cock spill inside the condom. You felt the twitching as his cock drained and you let your head roll back at the feeling.

He kept his weight from pressing down on you, but he waited to pull out. When he did, you felt empty and couldn’t help as your pussy clenched around nothing. You didn’t have to feel empty long before his fingers were inside of you again.

“I don’t know how long it’ll take,” he said as he pumped his fingers in and out of you lazily, “but I can still feel it as strongly as I did before. It could be a while before my rut is over.”

With as irregular as his ruts had been for the last few years, you imagined it’d last for a while. Most Alphas would get two or three major orgasms and then the rut would pass over them. But if Billy didn’t feel any difference after that orgasm? And your own body still felt like a live wire. 

Although you did wonder how much of that was you mirroring him and how much of it was just that he was probably the best sex you’d ever had.

He pulled his fingers out of you long enough to rid himself of his condom. He grabbed a second one but didn’t have to ask for you to put it on him this time. You took it from him and slid it over his still hard cock. You leaned in and wrapped your mouth around the head of his cock, sucking on it as best you could with the condom on him. The latex taste of the condom wasn’t pleasant, but the warmth of him in your mouth was almost worth it.

You were pulled off of his cock and then rolled over. This time you were on your stomach, but it didn’t feel like how it usually did with Alphas. He didn’t make you present yourself for him. He raised your hips and tucked a pillow under them, but he didn’t force your face into the bed as he slid into you. His hands still moved over your body as he fucked you this time, playing with your nipples and then moving under you to play with your clit. You ached with need as you thrust backwards against him.

It was like he knew when you needed it harder, when you needed more from him. You clenched around his cock as he pounded into you from behind, your whole body shaking as you took everything he had to give. This time your orgasm rocked over you and made you cry out, biting down onto your own wrist to keep from screaming his name. And it was only moments later that you felt his cock pulse inside you once more.

This time he stayed inside you longer, his thighs flexing in an effort to keep from pounding into you again. When he finally pulled out to remove the condom, you rolled over to watch him.

“How are you feeling?”

He looked over his shoulder at you and then away just as quickly.

“Still in my rut,” he said defensively under his breath.

You crawled across the bed and placed your hand on his back. When he didn’t shy away, you moved so that you could drape yourself over his back, your arms going around his chest and holding him.

“I’m not asking because I want this to be over quicker. I just want to make sure you’re okay. Do you need something to drink? Some food? A foot rub?”

From where your chin was propped on his shoulder, you could see the tiniest of smiles on his face. And then it was neutral once more.

“Something to drink would be nice.”

You squeezed his shoulders as you got up. There was a robe hanging near your bedroom door and you tugged that on as you walked into the living room. With two bottles of Gatorade in hand, you went back to the bedroom to see that Billy had gotten situated on the bed with his back against the headboard and his legs partially spread.

His cock was still hard. You licked your lips as you tore your eyes away, but not before you caught his smirk again.

“Come here,” he said with another small thread of compulsion. This time you thought he might have done it on purpose.

You crawled onto the bed and handed him his drink. After both of you drained about half of the bottles, he put them to the side and pulled you into his lap and tugged your robe off. He grabbed another condom and put it on before he settled you over him with one leg on each side. This gave you more leverage as you lowered yourself onto his cock. 

“Just like this,” he said softly into your ear as he thrust up into you. 

You held on to his shoulders as you rode him, meeting his thrusts with your own. This position was intense for a reason beyond just the angle. There was an intimacy to this that you hadn’t experienced the few other times you’d ended up in this position. The intensity in Billy’s eyes as he fucked you made your chest hurt.

What was it about this Alpha that set him so far apart from others? Why were you on pins and needles around him? And why was sleeping with him like nothing you’d ever felt before?

This time you both came at the same time. You gasped at the feeling of clenching around his cock while he spilled inside the condom. His hands were tight on your hips, holding you down against him. As if you’d want to get away.

You slumped on top of him, your body protesting the number of orgasms you’d already wrung out of it. And you could still sense that Billy was in his rut.

You’d have to take a few days after this one before you could become active again. You had a feeling you were going to be sore.

He lifted you off of his cock and went to dispose of the condom again. This time when he got into the bed, he didn’t immediately reach out for you. You leaned onto your side so that you could watch him settle down on his back.

He was starting to come down from his rut, but you didn’t think that would last. This was how it normally was, with time between cycles. There’d be anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour before his body would feel feverish and he’d need to take you again.

“Would you like some time alone?”

Billy rolled over to look at you. He shook his head after a long moment. When you felt his hand brush against you this time, you knew it wasn’t sexual. This was where the companion part came in. Some Alphas wanted to be alone between their rut cycles, but some wanted contact. It seemed Billy was one of the latter.

You moved to lean against his side, your body pressed along his from shoulder to ankle. The closeness would trigger his rut cycle quicker, but it would do good for him as well.

“Just rest,” you told him as you brushed your lips against a scar on his shoulder. 

It was going to be a long night for both of you.

X

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*****

The touchscreen near the door chimed and you winced. Your head was killing you as if you had been drinking for days but you had just been crying. 

It had been almost a week since you’d last seen Billy. You had denied a request from an Alpha in that time frame but you knew you needed to get back to work. So with that in mind you went to the touchscreen and turned it on. 

It was a woman, Laura, and that was all you needed to see before you accepted the Alpha. It was a few days away, but it was a step in the right direction. At least this way you could tell yourself that you were trying.

Your phone sat untouched on the counter. You had missed calls from Karen and you knew you’d need to respond at some point before she tried to break into the center to find you, but you just couldn’t handle it yet. 

She would hear it in your voice and you were incapable of lying to her. You’d tell her that not only were you in love with that Alpha you had told you about but that you broke your own heart by telling him you wouldn’t be his companion anymore.

You’d also tell her about what happened at his place and that was just opening up a can of worms you didn’t have the time or energy for.

Another reason you hadn’t touched your phone was because you were honestly worried you might try to contact Billy. After what had happened when he dropped you off, you doubted he’d want that. And it wouldn’t be a good idea. 

The clothes he had let you wear home were in a vacuum sealed bag in your closet. Every now and then you opened it up to catch his scent and felt even more guilty. It was like you were stealing memories.

Billy’s rut was coming up. You kept away from the computer so that you couldn’t look him up and see if any Omegas had left a comment regarding spending his rut with them. You didn’t want to know who he picked after you. You didn’t want to think about him with someone else.

You just couldn’t. It would break you and you wouldn’t be able to function. 

Instead you curled up on the couch with a blanket around you. You missed Billy but you needed to move on.

------

The sheets were changed, toiletries were laid out, and food was waiting. You paced back and forth in your living room as if you couldn’t stop moving.

When the door chimed, you almost smacked into it in your rush to check the touchscreen. After you checked that the woman on the other side was Laura, you opened the door to let her in.

“Make yourself at home,” you said as you opened the door wider for her to walk in.

Laura started to step in but she stopped, her nose wrinkling. You watched as she took a long sniff and start to shake her head.

“I’m really sorry, this isn’t going to work,” she said as she frowned, her eyes meeting yours. “I respect an Omega’s choice of work, but I refuse to sleep with a mated Omega.”

You had a lot of emotions at once at that, but you pushed them down. Instead you quickly shook your head and stepped a little closer to her.

“I’m not mated, really,” you started but she let out a laugh.

“Honey, you’re so mated that I smelled it in the hallway. I just didn’t realize it was you.”

You gave a discrete sniff of your shirt and then looked back at Laura. She wasn’t frowning anymore, but you could see the confusion on her face. You were glad you weren’t the only confused one.

“I mean, there was a guy, but we didn’t… we didn’t do the mating ritual.” You would have remembered that. “And I’ve… I’ve had other Alphas and none of them ever said...”

Laura sighed. She didn’t shut the door, but she did take your hand.

“This isn’t a regular mating scent so most Alphas wouldn’t have really noticed. They may have noticed that you didn’t smell exactly like your scent receptor down in the choosing room, but they probably didn’t think anything of it.” She squeezed your hand and gave you a comforting smile. “I’ve been around True Mates my whole life so I know the scent a mile away. It’s the same scent my parents have.”

You opened your mouth and then immediately shut it. Then you tried again but no words would come out.

Laura laughed. She reached into her purse and pulled out an old receipt and a pen. She wrote something down and handed it to you.

“I’d stay and talk to you tonight, but my rut is coming so I need to get back down to the choosing room and pick another one. Here’s my number though. Call me tomorrow afternoon and we can meet up for lunch, okay?” 

She squeezed your hand and gave you a beautiful smile.

“It’s going to be okay honey, I promise.”

With that she turned and walked out of the apartment. You shut the door and looked down at the receipt for a long moment. Then you contacted the Betas in the choosing room so they’d know the Alpha had rejected you. You didn’t tell them why and you doubted she would either.

You settled onto your couch, hands shaking as you pulled your knees up to your chin. It was doubtful that your True Mate was anyone but Billy. If she was right—and why would she lie—it explained so much.

It explained why you felt different about him from day one. It explained why you could never stop thinking about him. It may even explain why you’d felt so drained lately unless you were with him. It explained why you wanted him more than you’d ever wanted anything before. And why you were such an emotional mess when it came to him.

It still did not absolve the fact that you didn’t feel like you were good enough for him. Just because you were True Mates didn’t mean that you would have to be together, right? Because if you were True Mates, he would be feeling these things as well and that hadn’t changed how he acted. 

You felt so lost and you couldn’t wait until tomorrow when you could call Laura and get more information about it. You had a feeling you’d need it.

------

“Your scent isn’t as repulsive when I’m not in my rut,” Laura said as she sat down across from you at the small diner the two of you ended up at. “Hope you got some sleep last night although I doubt you did.”

You smiled as you pulled your cup of coffee closer to you.

“Is it because I look like death? Because I feel like death.”

Laura smiled and ordered her own drink. Once it was delivered, she took a long sip before she looked at you.

“You probably have questions. Go ahead and ask.”

You sat up a little straighter. You’d been up most of the night thinking this through so you did have questions. Hopefully you didn’t forget anything.

You really should have written them down.

“Is this why I’ve been feeling so run down lately?”

She nodded and propped her arms onto the table as she met your gaze.

“True Mates have the added benefit of their bodies wanting to get the actual mating done as soon as possible so this is your body telling you to get a move on. How long have you known this person?”

You winced as you leaned back in your seat.

“Few months.”

She let out a whistle through her teeth. Then she shrugged her shoulder.

“It can be mistaken as a lot of things so it’s not unusual I guess. Especially if you don’t know the signs.”

That wasn’t on your list, but it did make you curious. You asked her what the signs were and watched as she made a mental list in her head before she started talking.

“You feel connected to them almost instantly. Your body reacts to them immediately. The sex is usually fantastic,” she said with a grimace. “Things I didn’t need to know about my parents honestly.”

You laughed at that and settled into your seat a little more.

“You said there’s a different scent right? And it’s just so uncommon that no one would recognize it?”

“Yeah, True Mates aren’t really something you see a lot of these days. Most people honestly think they are a myth if that tells you anything. But because I grew up with them, I can smell it all over you. Honestly I couldn’t tell that you weren’t actually mated with him because it’s so strong.”

You wondered if that had anything to do with the fact that you and Billy had slept together just over a week before, but you weren’t about to ask that. Plus you didn’t need to know anyone else what you had done outside of the center’s walls.

“Does it feel the same for Omegas and Alphas? Is he… does he feel like this too?”

It was a question that you knew you needed to ask. You needed to know if he was going through the same hell that you were.

The look on her face said that you weren’t going to like the answer.

“Being True Mates doesn’t mean that it’s a match made in heaven, it just means that you are ultimately compatible. There are plenty of True Mates who can’t stand each other or who just never fell in love. So physically he’ll feel like you, but like you he might just think he’s not feeling well. Emotionally? Well, to each their own.”

So that wasn’t the answer you wanted, but at least you had the truth now. It didn’t exactly make you feel better to know that Billy was feeling as run down as you were, but it also didn’t answer you question of whether or not he cared about you too.

What did it matter? It didn’t matter if you were True Mates; you still weren’t going to be good enough for him.

“Does it… does it ever go away? If we don’t mate, will it just fade with time?”

She gave you a sad smile.

“No, it doesn’t,” she said softly. “And those pesky feelings you have for him that aren’t part of the True Mate thing? Those don’t really go away on their own either. If you want to get over him, that’s a possibility, but it takes a lot of time and some effort.”

You propped your chin up on your hand as you stared out of the window. Even without the True Mate thing, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to get over Billy. You fell in love and you’d fallen hard.

“Should I tell him? About… it affects him too, right?”

Laura shrugged her shoulder and leaned back in her chair.

“That’s up to you. Someone may tell him down the road, that’s always a possibility, but it just depends on what you want. And honestly if you tell him that you’re True Mates, you should probably tell him how you feel. Not really a better time than that.”

You wiped a hand over your face and sighed.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

------

You draped the blanket over your couch and sighed. You were exhausted and really needed a nap, but it was barely noon. As you stepped over a box in the floor, you headed into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Mid-sip, you heard your cell phone buzz on the charger. 

“Coming, coming,” you mumbled as you made your way across the living room to grab the phone. It was probably Karen wanting to check on you.

Instead you found yourself looking at Billy’s name. You had never deleted him out of your phone despite knowing that you should. And you were glad you hadn’t, but you weren’t prepared to talk to him.

The screen stopped flashing and turned dark. Your shoulders sagged in disappointment. After a long moment where the phone didn’t buzz to say that you had a voicemail, you started to turn away. But the phone started up again.

His name was flashing on the screen. You picked up the phone and let your finger hover over the button to accept the call. And as it rang on more, you realized it was going to end again. 

Maybe he wouldn’t call back this time.

Without thinking, you accepted the call and put the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“What the fuck happened? Where are you?”

Did he have to sound so angry? You had missed him so much over these last couple of weeks and hearing his voice now was wonderful. You just wished he didn’t sound so angry.

“What do you mean?”

You heard him let out a huff.

“I called the center when my rut came up. When I asked about you, they said you weren’t there anymore. Is it because what happened with us?”

You settled down on the edge of the couch, your fingers rubbing over your knee.

“You said you wouldn’t ask for me again.”

“Goddammit Y/N that’s not the point! What happened? Where are you?”

You looked around your new apartment and sighed.

“I left the center. I got my own place in the city.”

There was nothing but silence on the line. You wondered if you had somehow lost service, but then you heard him swear.

“Is this because what happened? Between the two of us? Fuck, you didn’t have to tell them what happened.”

You swallowed and stretched your legs out, feeling the urge to pace. There were a few too many boxes in your apartment for that to be a good idea though so you stayed put. The restless energy would disappear over time.

“I didn’t tell them. I just left because… because it was time.”

It hadn’t been something you ever thought you’d do, but you felt good for having done it. You had more than enough money to the point where you probably would never have to work if you didn’t want to, but you were still looking for a job. You weren’t ashamed of your time as a companion at the center, but you had to admit to being happy to being out of there.

No more Alphas, no more routines, no more… wishing every person you were with was Billy.

“What… what are you going to do now?”

You shrugged your shoulders even though he couldn’t see you.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll figure it out as I go.”

And you would. That was the only part that kept you relaxed as your whole life was tilted upside down.

There was silence on the other line for a while but you could hear him breathing. 

“If you’re not protected by the center, who is protecting you? Are you… did you find someone to claim you?”

Did his voice have to waver as he asked that? It wasn’t fair and it made you think of impossible things.

“My best friend’s mate gave a temporary claim on me until I find a job.”

You weren’t going to ask for it but the moment Karen heard you were leaving, she had jumped at the chance. She told you that Frank would claim you until you found a job or decided what else you wanted to do. Now you wore an ID tag with his information on it. It did make you feel a little bit like a dog, but you didn’t mind. 

It was temporary. You just had to keep telling yourself that.

“I’m glad you’re doing okay. And I hope this works out for you.”

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes. His voice was so soft and caring that it felt like you had been transported to a month ago, before everything went to hell. You wiped at the tears uselessly and gave a little laugh.

“I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me after…”

Billy let out a sigh on the other side of the call.

“I shouldn’t have said those things. I was pissed off and confused and… I never should have talked to you like that. I just couldn’t figure out why you were doing that. Still not sure why you did it.”

You took a deep breath and let it out quietly. You weren’t going to do this. You had made the decision when you decided to leave that you weren’t going to reach out to Billy and tell him about the True Mates thing. But hearing his voice right now was making you rethink that decision.

“Could we… meet for coffee or something? I have your clothes and I, well, I want to explain.”

You held your breath as you waited for his response.

“There’s a coffee shop just down from my apartment. Today?”

You were in no way ready for this but there wasn’t another option. You needed to tell Billy not only why you had tried to put distance between the two of you, but why both of you were feeling the way you were. He needed to know. 

He deserved that.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you there in an hour.”

------

“I can’t do this,” you said into your phone as you walked down the street towards the coffee shop Billy had told you about. “I can’t go meet him and tell him how I feel. I can’t… I can’t tell him the truth.”

Karen sighed on the other side of the call.

“You have to though. And I still can’t believe you never told me that you had a True Mate. Do you realize how big that is? I tell you everything about me and Frank–”

“Including the things I ask you not to tell me,” you cut in with a grin.

“–and you couldn’t tell me something as big as this? I don’t even know the guy’s name.”

You could see the coffee shop in the distance and it made your stomach flip.

“I’ll tell you all about it once this is over. I’m almost there so I can’t chicken out now.”

Karen let out a soft laugh, but you knew she wasn’t laughing at you. Then you heard her murmur something to Frank in the background.

“I’ve gotta go help Frank with something. He said one of his buddies is calling him freaking out about something. Call me when you’re done?”

You promised her you would and then stopped on the corner close to the coffee shop. Once you were in there and this conversation was had, it would be over. One way or another, it would be over.

In the distance you saw Billy getting out of his car. He was on the phone so you took the moment to look him over. He looked good, even from this far away. His hair was styled and he was wearing a suit. Had he just come from work? You were so used to seeing him in jeans and a t-shirt or sweater.

Or those grey sweats. You weren’t proud of it but you had thought about them a lot.

He must have ended the call because he slid the phone into his pocket. Then he turned as if he was looking around. You knew the moment he saw you because it felt like he was physically touching you. Even from this distance, his eyes held a power over you that you couldn’t explain.

Except you could explain it now. 

With a deep breath, you made it across the street and over to the coffee shop. The quicker you got through this, the quicker it would be done.

And you needed it to be done soon.

“Hey,” you said as soon as you stood in front of him. 

He looked you up and down and you tried not to think about what he was looking at. Or what he was looking for. He jerked his head at the shop door and you gave him a nod before you followed him. He opened the door and held it open for you, his hand out as if he was going to guide you in with his hand on the small of your back.

Instead he dropped it to his side and turned to look away from you.

No one said it was going to be easy.

He led you into the coffee shop and up to the counter. You both ordered your drinks but when you pulled out your wallet, you saw that Billy had already handed over his card to pay for them. You tried to offer to pay him back, but he just jerked his head over towards the tables.

“Pick a table. I’ll bring your drink when it’s done.”

You hesitated only for a moment before you moved over to a table in the corner of the room. It was tucked far enough away that no one would be able to overhear you pouring your heart out. You stared down at the cracked and peeling polish on the wooden table until your drink was put down in front of you. Then Billy sat down in the seat across from you.

You needed to start the conversation, tell him the truth and get it out there before you went crazy, but you couldn’t find the words. Even all of the things you practiced on your walk over here seemed unable to come out as you stared at Billy’s hands as he prepared his coffee. 

You remembered making coffee for him after his ruts. You knew how he liked to take it, how he didn’t care if it was too hot or not. The smell of coffee alone made you think of Billy.

After today, that would be doubly true.

“You said you wanted to explain,” Billy reminded you as he put his cup back down on the table. 

First you pushed the paper bag you had next to your chair over towards his side of the table. It was the clothes he had given you to wear that day in his apartment. You had finally broken down and washed them, losing his scent as you did. And now they were tucked into the bag, folded neatly and carefully. 

He just picked the bag up and dropped it beside his chair. Your hands shook as you reached out for your drink, but you didn’t take a sip. 

“I’m going to tell you this but I want you to know that I’m not expecting anything from you regarding it. And that I don’t… I don’t want you to say anything until I get this all out because if I don’t do it at once, I don’t think I’ll be able to get it all out.”

Billy looked surprised and then concerned, but he nodded. You swallowed thickly before you began.

“From the first... first meeting, I thought something was different. I wasn’t sure why, but I couldn’t help… I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And it just got worse. I was also feeling… rundown a lot. Except when I was with you. I didn’t think anything about it at first but I found out why.” You swallowed again and curled your hands into fists. “Apparently you and I are True Mates.”

Jesus that was way past ripping off the bandaid. That felt more like you had tried to remove the bandaid with a grenade.

Billy blinked at you a few times, his face expressionless. Then he cleared his throat and leaned forward. You waited to see if he would speak, but he waved his hand as if to ask you to continue.

You had asked him to let you get it all out and he was letting you.

“Okay. So, there’s that. And then there’s… what you and I did at your place. I meant it when I said that… when I said that a companion can’t do that stuff, because we can’t. And I was really messed up about it because it goes against everything that I’ve been taught, but I also… god, I wanted it so bad. And that’s… it’s because of the True Mates, I guess, but it’s also... “

You weren’t sure you could say the words. Your face felt hot and you realized that you couldn’t see Billy anymore. You’d shut your eyes, but it wasn’t stopping the tears from starting to slip down your cheeks.

“It’s also because I love you. I fell in love with you, even without the True Mates bond, but because you’re… you’re so amazing and handsome and, just perfect, and I feel—felt more like myself with you. I felt like I could take on the world. And I knew that it wouldn’t work with us because you’re, well you’re you and I’m a companion, just… I sleep with Alphas in their ruts and you deserve better than that. So I needed to put distance between us or else I’d just… keep hurting. And I didn’t want to put you in that position.”

You took a deep breath and brushed the tears from your eyes before you looked at him. His neutral expression was still there, but his eyes were narrowed. It reminded you of the look in the car right before he told you to get out.

“That’s it, that’s everything. We’re apparently True Mates, I love you, and I know you don’t… you can’t see me like that. So I’m sorry for the way I handled things, but it’s over now. Now you know and I’m not your companion anymore so you can…”

You can find someone else for your ruts, you started to say, but you remembered what he had said when he had called you. He had called the center for his rut and had asked for you, despite saying he wouldn’t. He didn’t smell like his rut, so he must have called you after it was over.

He’d already slept with someone else. You weren’t sure why that hurt considering what your job had been, but the thought of him with someone else? His hands on their skin, his mouth on theirs? His scent on them?

You shot out of your seat, the legs scraping against the floor loudly. You wiped at your face again, unable to meet his eyes as you reached down to pick up the purse you had dropped.

“I’m so sorry Billy, but you won’t have to see me again. I’m so sorry.”

With that you hurried through the shop and to the door. Out in the open air, you took a few deep breaths to keep the panic away. 

You’d been an idiot. Even though you went into this saying that you were just going to tell him the truth and let it be, you had apparently gone into it with some hope that it wouldn’t end that way. Some fantasy had crept in that Billy would hear all of this and declare that not only was he not mad, but that he loved you too. 

You pressed your hand to your chest in an effort to calm your panicked breathing, but it wasn’t helping. You hunched down on the sidewalk, your hand on the brick of the building. People walked by without care as you shook and sobbed, unable to breathe.

Hands were on your face, a calm voice that asked you to breathe. You couldn’t, couldn’t even try, but the voice didn’t stop. It told you that it was okay, to breathe, to keep listening to it. You tried to focus, tried to… tried…

Something shifted in your chest. No, not your chest. You were shifted. You were pulled into someone’s arms and the world was moving, but you couldn’t tell what was up. There was so much light but everything was dark, it didn’t make sense. Then you were sitting, something soft under you. 

Still the hands were there, on your face and on your arms. The voice kept up a steady stream of words until you could focus more on them.

“I’m right here, focus on my voice. Come on, breathe in for me baby, let it out. Keep doing that, you’re doing good.”

You blinked a few times to clear your vision, the tears stinging your eyes as they fell. Right around the time that your vision cleared up enough to realize that Billy was crouched down beside you, you also realized that you were surrounded by his scent. The scent of him penetrated the wall of haze in your head and suddenly you were clearer.

You’d had a panic attack, something you hadn’t had since high school. He must have carried you to his car because you were crumpled up in the passenger seat and he was kneeling outside with the door open, his hands on your face and brushing against your shoulders and arms. He was still talking, still guiding your breaths, but you were better.

And then you were horrendously embarrassed. After everything you’d already told Billy today, now he was helping you through a panic attack? How pathetic were you?

“Don’t say that,” he said sternly, cluing you into the fact that you’d said at least part of that out loud. “You’re not pathetic. Panic attacks can happen to anyone. How are you feeling?”

How were you feeling? Your chest hurt, your skin felt too tight, your stomach had relocated to your left heel, and you were pretty sure that you were dehydrated now. 

“I’m okay,” you said with a shaky breath as you shifted in the seat. “I uh, I can go. I’m sorry, you didn’t have to–”

“Don’t apologize,” he said in a gruff voice as he stood up.

For what? There was so many things. You wiped at your face and then laughed as Billy held out his pocket square. You used it to wipe at your cheeks and eyes, glad that you hadn’t worn makeup to this meeting.

Your purse was on the floor next to your foot. You stared at it for a long moment as if you didn’t recognize it.

“I should go.”

Billy shook his head and looked down at you in the car. You grabbed your purse and stood up, but held on to the door for balance. When you tried to take a step away, Billy moved so that he could box you in. 

“No, see you walked away from me already once today. You’re gonna hear what I have to say now.”

Your back rested against the frame of the car, your hands shaking as you stared into his eyes. You could only imagine what he had to say.

“When did you find out about the True Mates thing?”

You sniffled, but you were unable to look away from him.

“After… after the last time we saw each other. Someone had been raised by True Mates and she recognized the scent that was on me apparently.”

He nodded.

“And being True Mates, is that why… you feel the way you do?”

At least he hadn’t grimaced when he’d said the words, but the pause wasn’t especially favorable.

“No. Being True Mates just means our bodies are compatible. What we… what I feel, it’s all me.”

Billy nodded. Then he looked away. Without having him stare into your eyes, you felt yourself shake a bit. You hadn’t thought that he’d want to know more about it. You hadn’t thought he’d want to know anything except how to make it stop. At least he would only have to worry about the physical effects. You would be stuck loving him until you died.

When he met your eyes again, they weren’t expressionless. In fact there was so much emotion in his eyes that your breath was taken away. It reminded you of how he looked down at you when you were in bed, the moment after he came as he stared into your eyes. There was so much there that you almost staggered backwards except the car was there.

“Who gives you the right to tell me what I deserve? Who gives you the right to decide that you’re not good enough for me?”

You shook your head, unsure how to put words together right then. Billy stepped closer to you until you could feel the warmth from his body.

“Jesus Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since that second time I went to the center. I didn’t kiss you because I was horny, I kissed you because I wanted you. And I came back to you after that because I didn’t want anyone else.”

Were your feet still on the ground? You felt like you were floating. You reached up and pressed your hand to your chest where you could feel your heart pounding. Was this real? Or had you passed out during your panic attack and this was some kind of dream?

“I couldn’t even have someone else help me through my rut this last time. Once I found out you weren’t there anymore, I just locked myself in my apartment until it passed. I don’t want anyone else but you because I fucking love you.”

You sagged, tears in your eyes for a different reason.

“Please don’t… don’t just say that. Don’t say that because you want to hurt me, please,” you begged as your hands shook.

You barely had time to get the words out before lips were pressed to yours. Billy wrapped one hand around the back of your neck to keep you close and angle the kiss. Your hands were clenched in the lapels of his jacket as you returned the kiss with equal fervor.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I love you so much, I don’t ever want to hurt you again,” he promised against your lips as he held you closer.

You believed him. With his hands in your hair and your lips pressed together, him whispering the words over and over with as much honesty and urgency as he held in him, you believed him.

He loved you. And both of you were still very emotional over what had happened, but it was going to get better. The two of you together would get better.

------

“Oh shit,” you heard someone say from the living room. 

You made your way that direction and then froze. Standing in the middle of your living room was Billy, Frank, and Karen. Karen looked surprised while Billy and Frank were laughing and… hugging?

“Why didn’t you tell me that your True Mate was Billy Russo? Jesus, that’s Frank’s best friend! He was at the official part of our mating ceremony.”

You looked among the three of them and started to laugh. Billy came over and wrapped his arm around your waist to hold you close, his lips brushing against your temple.

“More proof that it was meant to be,” he said before he leaned in to kiss you.

It definitely felt like that.

------

Pleasure rolled through your body as Billy licked up the length of your slit, his tongue circling around your clit over and over while you rolled your hips up into his face. His hands held your thighs open as he licked and sucked at you.

“Come on my Omega, I can feel that you’re close, come for me,” he said against your core, grinning when his words were enough to tip you over the edge. “Mm, tastes like sugar on my tongue.”

You swatted at his shoulder before you pulled him up and on top of you. He leaned over you and kissed you, the taste of yourself on his lips. You surged upwards against him, rubbing your aching pussy against his cock in desperation to get him inside you.

“C’mon Alpha, fuck me,” you begged as you scratched down his back.

He separated your thighs a little more before he took his cock in hand. After a few pumps, he put the head at your entrance and thrust inside easily. You swore and arched under him at the stretch, feeling so full and so good.

Then he started to thrust and you thought you were going to pass out.

He bent down and pressed his lips to the mated mark on your neck, running his tongue over the edge where his name was. Your hand reached up and pressed against the one he had on his neck, your thumb brushing over your name along the bottom.

“Mine,” he said with a smile as he gave another hard thrust, earning a moan from you. “And I’m yours.”

You nodded and surged up to kiss him, whining in his mouth as his thrusts became harder and faster. Without the scent of his rut or you mirroring him, the room was full of the scent of both of you. It smelled like lemongrass and eucalyptus, clean earthy smells that had followed you both around. And now you couldn’t even tell the difference in where your scent began and his ended.

If love had a scent, it would be this. You knew it deep in your bones.

You knew that whatever the world threw at the two of you, you would get through it together. You had been under Billy’s spell from day one, but now you knew he had been under your spell too. So much time had been wasted and the two of you had decided not to waste another moment.

X

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*****

You lost track of the number of orgasms and positions. Somewhere around fifteen hours after Billy got there, you finally could sense that he was no longer in his rut. There were empty bottles of Gatorade all over your room as well as packs of applesauce and bags of chips. 

Once he was finally spent, you told Billy he could take a shower and showed him what items he could use. Although he wasn’t in his rut anymore, his senses would still be heightened for a few days. 

He disappeared into the bathroom after hesitating in the doorway. With the door shut, you went about getting the room cleaned up a bit. You stepped into your laundry room to wipe yourself down with a wet cloth before you pulled on some clean clothes. Then you went back into your room to find his clothes and fold them for him.

You felt like you had been put in a dryer. All of your limbs barely cooperated with your thoughts. There was a lazy satisfaction that ran over you. 

Most Alphas were more concerned with their own release and didn’t bother much with if you enjoyed the sex. There were plenty that made you feel good and you enjoyed it, sure, but this? This was something different.

If things were different, this might have ruined you for other Alphas. 

That thought made you pause as you laid his shirt out with his pants. You shouldn’t feel so attached to an Alpha at all, but especially not one who obviously has so much baggage. You could only hope that he enjoyed himself and that you helped him in his time of need.

You went to the touch screen next to your door and checked for any messages first. When you didn’t see anything, you went to the desk drawer where you kept your phone. The only people who had the number were Karen and your family, so you didn’t check it often. Karen would usually just send a message to your apartment if she needed you for anything since that was the easiest way to contact you. 

And your family rarely reached out to you anymore.

Karen had sent a message to ask if you had an Alpha. It had come almost twelve hours before so you sent her a response and put the phone back up. Then you went into the kitchen to clean up a little more.

“I left the towel in the bathroom,” Billy said as he walked into the living room.

You smiled and went over to him. He was dressed in his clothes from before, but there was a rumpled look to him that made you a little weak in the knees. The shirt was wrinkled from being on the floor for so long. You longed to straighten it out with your hands but you didn’t reach out to him.

“That’s fine,” you said as you looked him over. “Do you want something to drink? I was just about to make some tea. Or maybe coffee since it’s morning now.”

Billy nodded and followed you into the kitchen. He sat down at the table while you worked at the coffee pot. You hummed a little bit as you measured out the grounds. Then you turned and gave him an appraising look while he was distracted by something on your kitchen table.

He looked good. You knew last night that he was handsome, had seen him in the midst of his passion, but you still couldn’t forget how withdrawn he was when he first got to your apartment. He had been so tense and sat so stiffly on your couch. But now? His limbs were relaxed, his back wasn’t ramrod straight, and his hands weren’t in fists.

“Is this part of your routine?”

You let out a curious noise as you reached up for two mugs for the coffee. When you looked back at Billy, he was staring at you from the table.

“Make them comfortable before and after?”

You tapped your fingers on the counter as you stared at him. Most Alphas didn’t question the Omega during these sessions. While you were there to help the Alpha through their rut, it was on the Omega’s terms. If you were unhappy or uncomfortable, you would press your ID and an alert would sound. The Betas that ran the center would come in an instant to help escort the Alpha out if that was necessary.

You’d never had to use that button at least.

But the rules were pretty much written in bold letters. Once the Alpha was in the apartment, they followed the Omega’s lead. It was up to the Omega to know what to do and what the Alpha needed. And you definitely never talked about other Alphas.

“If you don’t want any coffee, I’m not going to force you to stay and have some. The door will unlock if you turn the knob.”

He shook his head before he tore his eyes from you. You saw that he was looking at the door, but he didn’t stand or make a move in that direction.

“Forget I ask.”

Not wanting to undo the relaxation he had achieved with you, you poured a cup of coffee and put it on the table in front of him. Then you offered him the cream and sugar. Once both of you had made your cups how you wanted them, you settled down at the table with him.

“It’s early. Will you be going back to your place or do you have to be to work this morning?”

Billy looked at you over his cup. You watched as he blew on the surface before he took a sip.

“I can work from home today. I told a few of my employees that I would be unreachable.”

You could imagine that was an uncomfortable conversation for him to have. Instead of pressing him on it, you went back to your own cup.

This was one of the ways you liked to wind down with an Alpha that you had enjoyed the company of. And you had enjoyed spending time with Billy. It wasn’t just the sex, although that was definitely going to the top of your list of best nights ever. It was just him. Every time he let his guard down to show you a little bit of himself, you felt as if you had won some sort of reward.

Once the coffee cups were empty, you put them in the sink and then walked Billy to the door. There was no way you could stretch the leaving out anymore.

“Well it’s been my pleasure to assist you today Billy. I hope you are satisfied as well.”

He gave you a bit of a smirk that made you want to kick yourself. Usually your comments, even after sex, weren’t construed with so much innuendo. What was it about him…

“I appreciate your help,” he said sincerely with a bow of his head. Then, after you pulled the door open for him, he looked at you with a curious expression. “Can… would it be okay if I requested you again in the future?”

In the years that you’d done this, you weren’t sure that an Alpha had ever actually asked permission. Some told you that they would request you, but otherwise they just went ahead and did it.

“Of course,” you said honestly as you stepped in closer to him, “I would be happy to assist you again in the future.”

Billy’s eyes narrowed a bit before he gave you a nod. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to your cheek before he slipped from your apartment.

You waited for him to get into the elevator before you shut the door. Then you raised a hand to press your fingers against your cheek where his lips had been. None of the Alphas had ever… well, you tried to keep your distance after they showered. You did it for them, to keep them from being drenched in your scent since you hadn’t showered yet.

Billy didn’t seem to mind smelling like you. Or maybe he just wasn’t used to the etiquette. So many things from tonight made you think that he didn’t follow etiquette or society’s rules. Not that you really minded, but it had been strange.

Five years since he’d been at the center, back before it was the Companion Center. It was first come, first served in those days. An Alpha would show up, get taken to a room with an Omega on a bed in presentation, then they’d spend the rut like that. 

You never would have joined if it had been like that. Now you weren’t just treated like a human, you were treated like a revered member of society. 

But Billy hadn’t treated you like how you assumed the Omegas used to be treated. He treated you with care, with a sense of intimacy you weren’t used to with Alphas.

You walked through the apartment and to the bathroom. The towel hung from the rack and you grabbed it to drop into the hamper. Then you put all of the bland toiletries back in the box under your sink before you stripped off your clothes to get into the shower. With your own soap and shampoo, you were feeling a little more like yourself.

After you were clean, you stripped the bed and put those linens in the same hamper with the towel and washcloth. Those would go to a separate cleaner to be washed and then put in new vacuum sealed packages. The rest of your clothes you washed in the apartment yourself.

The bed made in fresh, lemon scented linens, you turned off the lights in the apartment. You slipped under the blanket in your bed and closed your eyes. Even though you could still clearly picture Billy in the bed with you, you tried to force the image away. You needed to rest so that you could let the center know that you’d need a few days before you could accept any new Alphas. 

Although after fifteen hours, you doubted they’d blame you.

------

“How’re you feeling?”

Karen looked over at you and smiled, her eyes red from lack of sleep. At least you hoped it was just from lack of sleep.

“I could barely sleep after he left,” she admitted as she curled up on the couch next to you. “I don’t know why I thought it was going to be different this time.”

“Oh honey,” you whispered as you held her to you.

Frank had gone into his rut right on time, six months to the last time he was there. Karen had been locked up with him for a few hours before he was better. And since his ruts had never lasted too long, he couldn’t dawdle and had to leave soon after. 

“Have you brought up leaving the center? Not for him,” you said quickly because you knew Karen would try to protest that otherwise, “but for yourself. Come on Karen, we both know you’re not going to stay a companion for much longer. With or without Alpha Frank.”

She wiped at her eyes and laid her head on your shoulder.

“I’m scared that if I tell him that he won’t want me to move in with him, but I’m also scared that he will want me to move in with him. I just don’t know what I want.”

You grabbed her hand and lifted it to give a kiss to her knuckles, earning a laugh from her.

“You’ll leave for you, because you don’t want to do this for the long term. And whether or not he wants to move in with you, he’ll at least want to see you more often, we both know that. So you’ll get to see him more and more and one day, when it’s right, it’ll become permanent.”

Karen frowned but you knew she wasn’t upset at your words. No, that was the face she made when she was thinking about something seriously.

“Your decision isn’t centered around him. He can be part of the reason, but you have to do what’s best for you.”

Logic and reason were the best ways to get through to Karen. And sure enough she gave a slow nod.

“I’ll think about it,” she promised as she settled in closer to you, grabbing the remote to unmute the movie the two of you were watching. 

Silence overtook the two of you. You were caught up in worrying about Karen and her future that you didn’t even notice when her attention shifted. She was focused more and more on you. When you did notice that she was staring, you looked over at her.

“What?”

She shrugged her shoulder at first but then she shook her head. The two of you didn’t keep secrets, not from each other.

“How have you been? After that… one Alpha?”

Billy. 

Karen had come by a few hours after he left and she had noticed the difference in your scent and the way that you seemed to be on a delay almost. You told her it was just a long night, explained that his ruts had been irregular, but Karen was your best friend. And she was an investigative journalist in her free time. She could hunt out a story like no one else.

You told her that it had felt different, but that you weren’t sure why. She thought that maybe you were just intrigued by the man, a surface attraction made complicated by having sex. It sounded as good as anything you had thought of, so you were happy to agree with her on it.

“I’m fine Karen,” you told her in a tone that said this wasn’t open for conversation. “I had another Alpha just a few days ago and everything was fine and normal. I think I was just thrown by how different he is.”

Because any other explanation wasn’t an option. 

“Just be careful,” Karen said as she leaned back a bit to turn towards the television, “I don’t want you to have to go through what I’ve been dealing with.”

You completely understood that.

------

The touchscreen next to your door chimed for the second time that day. You already had a request for a few days from now so you knew you wouldn’t be able to accept another request. You went over to the screen to go ahead and decline it but you froze when you saw the name and ID.

659437. William Russo. It was Billy.

It was barely a month since he had been in a rut the last time. And once again the time showed that he would be there that evening. 

His ruts were very irregular. Those suppressants had done a number on his physiology. 

You tapped the green square and turned away from the screen as it thanked you for accepting the Alpha. Instead you went through your routine for a distraction. You got food and drinks ready before you went in to strip and remake your bed. Then you stripped your clothes to take a shower with the unscented soaps.

He would be there soon. He would be in your apartment again. You wished you could say that your racing heart was normal, but you knew that it wasn’t.

You dressed in some comfortable clothing and went into the living room. You didn’t have long to wait before the touchscreen chimed that someone was there. In a rush you went to the screen and checked to make sure it was him. 

This time you didn’t ask for his ID. You set the touchscreen to ‘do not disturb’ and opened the door. He blinked in surprise before he gave you the beginning of a smile.

“Come on in,” you said as you opened the door wider.

He slipped in past you and then hovered in the foyer like he did the first time. It was endearing because most Alphas didn’t hesitate to make themselves at home the second time they were in the apartment. 

“Make yourself at home,” you said as you shut the door and made sure the lock was engaged. You saw that he was wearing a jacket this time and you reached out to slide it off his shoulders as if you did it a thousand times before.

He let you pull it off of him. You hung it up next to the door and then gestured at the couch. He followed your lead. Unlike the first time, you didn’t bother sitting on the loveseat. You settled onto the couch next to him. 

“Are you hungry? I could make grilled cheese and soup. It’ll be from a can, but that’s just for our health.”

That quirky little grin started to spread. You couldn’t remember seeing many smiles from him the last time, so it was a surprise to get it from him so soon this visit.

“Are you saying that you’re not a good cook?”

You laughed and leaned back against the cushions a bit, relaxing your shoulders.

“Some things I can cook without problem, other things tend to come out… bad.”

He laughed at that and you were struck by how it made his face light up. His eyes were nearly sparkling when he looked at you.

“I wouldn’t want you to burn down the center,” he said as he shifted in his seat a bit to face you. “I’m not hungry right now. But thanks for offering.”

Your head cocked to the side as you stared at him. Normally you wouldn’t say anything, even if it was an Alpha that you’d seen multiple times, but you felt at ease with Billy. 

“You seem different,” you said as you looked him over.

He nodded, his eyes closing for a moment. You wondered if he was picturing something, but you saw the way his nostrils flared a bit. He was inhaling your scent from the distance.

“Last time I was here was the first time I’d been in public since the accident. This is more like how I am.”

You let out an understanding hum. His eyes opened to you again and you gave him a smile as you reached out towards him. He inclined his head to give you permission. 

Your fingers ran through his slightly longer hair, feeling the difference from the close cropped haircut when he had been here a month ago. It had the added benefit of placing your wrist right next to his nose. He inhaled the scent there, his mouth dropping open as he did.

“I didn’t mind you being more reserved,” you explained as you continued to run your nails over his scalp, “I just noticed that you were different.”

And maybe there was a part of you that wondered if it had anything to do with you. You weren’t sure that you didn’t help, but you weren’t about to ask about that. Although there was something else that you wanted to ask. 

The last time he was here, you did ask him personal questions about his rut. You weren’t about to take advantage of the strange closeness the two of you already had, so you asked permission again.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

His eyes settled on you. The last time you asked that, he thought you were going to ask about his accident but you’d asked about his rut. Maybe he remembered that because you saw the corner of his mouth quirk up a bit.

“You want to know why I’m back in my rut so soon.”

It wasn’t a question. He said it as if he already knew that’s what you were going to ask. And since it was, you gave him a nod.

His hand went to your wrist and he pulled it down to hang between the two of you. He ran his thumb across the inside of your wrist a few times before he met your eyes again.

“The doctors say with me being on suppressants during my time in the Marines and then having to be on them when I was healing up, my ruts are going to be irregular for a while. They weren’t exactly regular before I joined the military either.”

You nodded your understanding. With your wrist still in his hold, you shifted your body a little closer to his. 

“That can’t be easy. I’m glad that you’ve come back to the Companion Center for assistance.”

He looked you over like he wanted to say something, but he kept it to himself. You weren’t going to pry. Instead you looked away from Billy for a moment. The last time you could tell when his rut was kicking in, but he wasn’t there yet. With more exposure to your scent, he’d be caught up in it soon.

“Come here,” he asked, no trace of Alpha compulsion in his voice as he gave a little tug to your wrist. 

You weren’t sure what he meant at first since your knee was already pressed to his. You finally realized that he wanted you in his lap when he tugged you a little closer, his legs splaying out a bit. 

With a grin, you moved so that you were on his lap. He situated you until you were facing him, your legs on either side of his hips. This was a man that you’d had a lot of sex with just a month before, but there was something almost embarrassing about being in this position with your clothes on. Maybe being a companion had skewed your view on propriety.

“You’re body is warm,” he said as he leaned in to sniff at your neck, the beard tickling your neck as he did. “I like feeling you against me.”

Oh no. It seemed that now that he was more himself, he was talker. And normally that didn’t bother, but you had a feeling that with Billy it was going to be the death of you. As you settled against him a bit more, letting him take your weight, you reached up and let your hands go to his shoulders.

There was a heat growing, but it wasn’t his fever. The heat was building low in your stomach, lower still. With your legs spread like this, you couldn’t clench your legs together when you realized that you were getting wet already. And he hadn’t even touched you. This wasn’t you mirroring him, this was your body reacting to the man under you.

Not the Alpha, the man. 

This was bad, but you weren’t going to stop.

You watched him inhale deeply once more, but you knew he wasn’t scenting you. No, he could smell your arousal. You bit your lip as you waited to see what reaction that would get. 

The reaction was fairly instant. He wrapped one arm under your butt and the other around your waist, holding you to him as he stood up. He held you there against him for a long moment before he set you down. Your breath came out in a puff of air as you tried to think about what you could say, how you could apologize for your body’s reaction, but you didn’t need to.

This time it was Billy dragging you to the bedroom instead of the other way around. He let go of you inside of the room so that you could lower the lights, but then he was on you once more. His mouth descended onto yours, his hands wrapping around your wrists and pinning them to the wall above your head. Your body tried to rock against his, desperate for friction. He thrust his leg between your thighs to give you something to rub against.

“Take off your clothes,” he requested when he finally stepped away from you.

You remembered that he had wanted to do that the first time, but it seemed like he wasn’t interested in taking it slow and exploring right now. You didn’t mind. You tore off your clothes as quickly as you could, gratified to see that he was doing the same. As you turned back to him, finally naked, you were pushed down against the bed. Before you could think, his mouth was on you. He went down on you like he was a man starving and you were the first meal he’d had in months. You held on to his slightly longer hair as you moved your hips, rubbing your pussy against his mouth. He went from sucking on your clit to thrusting his tongue inside of you, keeping you on edge with just his mouth. Then, when you were sure you were going to come, he pushed his fingers inside of you. 

He kept up at it until you were shaking against him, your moans echoing in the room. After a few moments of him still lapping at your clit lazily, he sat up and wiped his mouth against the back of his arm.

He leaned up over your body to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips. You dragged your tongue against his bottom lip, laving at the split there in the corner where his scars were. The scent of him wasn’t as heady and spicy as it was when an Alpha was in the throes of his rut, so you were confronted with the fact that this wasn’t Alpha Billy that had just made you come like that.

That was just Billy.

He pulled away and nuzzled against your neck, his tongue working over your scent gland. You arched up into him, feeling his hard cock against your thigh. When he sat up, you could feel the heat where his skin was pressed against yours.

His rut was finally kicking in. He reached over to where he remembered the condoms being stashed, pulling the box out and keeping it within reach. Same as the first time, he handed you the foil to put on him.

You slid the condom onto his cock and gave it a few pumps, feeling the weight and the heat through the latex. You’d like to get your mouth on him again but he had your legs spread too wide for you to be able to bend that far down. Instead he raised your legs up, hooking them over his arms. You reached down to guide him into you, clenching around his cock once he had pushed in completely. He moaned into your neck before he started to thrust.

The feverish heat of his rut mixed with the powerful force of his thrusts had you gasping and moaning under him, unable to get any leverage but desperate for your climax. You grabbed hold of his shoulders and arms, leaving scratch marks as you urged him to go faster.

“Look at me,” he mumbled into your mouth, “open your eyes for me Y/N.”

You opened your eyes, not sure when you had shut them. He was staring down at you with those almost black eyes, so much emotion flowing through him that you couldn’t catch it all. All you could do is thrust back with him, your body bowing upwards as your orgasm started to build. He lowered his head and bit down on your neck gently as his thrusts became more and more erratic.

You came moments after he did, your body shaking under his. He stayed there for a moment before he pulled out, sitting up to dispose of the condom. 

You didn’t have long to miss the feel of him before he was grabbing a second condom. This time when you put it on him, you did lean over to get your mouth on him. He barely let you do this the first time, but you wanted it. In the back of your mind you wished that you didn’t have the latex barrier, but you pushed that scandalous thought away. Instead you focused on making him feel as good as you could.

“Need to be inside you,” he panted as he pulled you off, kissing you hard as he tugged you onto his lap.

Mirroring the position you’d been in the living room, you were straddling his lap. This time you felt at ease as you reached between the two of you and guided his cock to your entrance. You started to lower yourself slowly, wanting to draw out the stretch and fullness, but he gave a hard thrust upwards. 

As you rode him, your nails scratched down his chest. You were so turned on that you had never felt this desperate to come before. Billy seemed to understand because he kept his hand low on your hip to guide your movements, both of you grinding into each other more than thrusting. You fucked yourself down onto him hard, your hand going between your legs to rub against your clit. His free hand went to your breast to squeeze and pinch at your nipple while both of you worked to your next orgasm.

This one made your eyes go a little fuzzy around the edges. He held you close to him, his face tucked into your neck as he breathed deeply. You moved off of him but after you got rid of that condom and got the next one on him, he pulled you right back into the same position. This time he moved so slowly that you could feel every inch of him inside of you. You held on to his shoulders as you moved to the tempo he set, your pussy clenching around him as you moved against him.

This time when you came, Billy rolled the two of you over so that he could speed up his movements. You tugged him down into a kiss as his hips started to stutter, your tongue rubbing against his as you felt his cock twitch and empty inside of the condom.

And just like before, it seemed his rut was finally falling into cycles at that point. You helped him tidy up before you pulled him under the covers with you. You knew there’d still be a few more hours of this, his rut coming and going for a while longer. 

And you couldn’t help but want to cherish every moment while you had it.

------

“Coffee?”

Billy came into the living room with his hair still a little damp from his shower. You had cleaned up and gone immediately to making coffee. This was the best way you could think to stretch his stay with you.

It’d only been about twelve hours this time. Most ruts only lasted six hours if they were assisted by an Omega, so you figured he’d have a few more longer ruts coming up. You could only hope that he requested you those times too.

No, you shouldn’t hope for that. You should just hope that he got assistance. You shouldn’t want him to request you, shouldn’t look forward to the next time you saw his Alpha ID on your touchscreen.

This was a dangerous mindset to get into.

You expected Billy to take the cup from you and go to the table. Instead he took it away from you and put it on the counter, his mouth falling to yours hungrily. You grabbed hold of his arm, your other hand in his collar as you tugged him closer. The kiss was full of passion and want, his hands on your hips and sliding lower.

As one of his hands tugged you against where you could feel him getting hard, you pushed away from him. Then you covered your mouth with your hand.

You’d just stepped over a line.

“We can’t,” you said as you took a shaking step away, the small of your back smacking into the counter. “We can’t do that.”

His eyes narrowed as he took a step closer to you.

“Why not?”

“Because… because I’m a companion and you’re not in your rut anymore.” You could tell he wasn’t, had been able to tell the moment if faded when he came inside of you for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

“Because it’s not fuck or die anymore? That’s the only time I can touch you?”

You covered your mouth once more, hoping to hold in the emotions that were building in your chest. You wanted him to kiss you again but you knew you couldn’t.

“As a companion, I’m to help an Alpha during their rut. You’ve come to me and I’ve fulfilled my service to you.”

It was completely the wrong thing to say.

Billy turned away from you and marched over to where his jacket hung. He tugged it on and then zipped it up. You watched as he reached for the doorknob, but he didn’t turn it. You didn’t want him to leave, not like this, but you couldn’t stop him. It wouldn’t be fair to stop him.

“You’ve fulfilled your service. And don’t worry, I won’t ask for you again.”

Before you could even process that, he had slammed out of the apartment. You swallowed thickly as you walked on shaking legs over to the touchscreen. The image showed the elevator doors closing with him on the inside. He was gone and you hadn’t even had a moment to tell him…

Tell him what? That you wanted him to kiss you? That you wanted him to pull you into the bedroom when his rut wasn’t a factor? That you wanted… that you wanted.

But you couldn’t go down that road, not with an Alpha that you’d only met twice. Karen and Frank had known each other for a while now and you knew that they only slept with each other during his ruts. 

Billy had already made you come when he wasn’t in his rut. If you took advantage of him that way, you’d be breaking every rule that was in place for companions. They were there for your safety.

But it didn’t matter anymore, did it? He said he wouldn’t ask for you again. And you didn’t think that Billy was one to go back on something he’d said.

With tears in your eyes, you made your way into the bedroom to strip your bed. You needed to get rid of his scent as soon as you could. And then you’d take a shower to wash away the feeling of his touch on you.

You’d never see him again.

X

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*****

The touchscreen chimed a loud and echoing noise. You rubbed at your eyes as you stumbled out of your bedroom and towards the door. It had an exclamation point which meant it was an important message.

When you looked at it, there were two boxes on the screen. Both Alphas were hours from their rut and both had requested you within a short span of time. You opened the first Alpha's information and felt the air leave the room.

It was Billy. His rut was coming in a few hours and he had requested you. 

Even after the last time when he said he wouldn't, he still requested you. 

On routine you checked the second Alpha. It was a female named Laura and her rut was coming in a few hours as well. You'd never assisted her before. 

Each Alpha had a square under them where you could pick them. You touched your hand to your bottom lip as you tried to think it through. 

Things with Billy were too complicated as it was. The last month had been difficult and confusing as you tried to get over the fact that you wouldn't see him again. It'd been just a month since you'd seen him. What would happen when his ruts were regular and he didn't come by once a month?

What would happen when he inevitably met someone he wanted to spend not just his ruts with, but the rest of his life?

You let your finger hover over the green box under Alpha Laura's name for just a moment, but you couldn't do it. Without regret, you hit the green box under Billy's name and information. 

Knowing that Billy was in the center and with someone else would have made it so that you couldn't help Alpha Laura to the best of your ability. 

With a short time before his arrival, you quickly went to your room to get rid of the bedding. Once that was traded out for the vacuum sealed linens, you hopped into the shower.

After you dried off and dressed in some comfortable clothes, you couldn't help but hover near the door. You still had a while until Billy would be there, but you couldn't relax. 

The way he had left the last time made you apprehensive. Hell, the way you acted last time made you apprehensive. 

Could you handle him being here again? 

Well if the alternative was him going to someone else, you'd find a way. 

With time to kill, you grabbed your phone from the desk and checked your messages. As you mentally tried to compose a text to your parents for why you wouldn't be coming home to visit any time soon, you heard a chime at the door.

Apparently you had paced for longer than you thought. 

You checked to make sure that it was Billy. His shoulders were hunched inward and his hands were clenched at his side. 

Maybe he didn't really want to be here. Maybe he felt like he couldn't go to anyone else.

Or maybe he had tried and had felt uncomfortable. You knew some Omegas couldn't hide their feelings as well as you could. 

Not knowing what to expect, you opened the door to let him in. There was a blast of spice and heat the moment the door opened. 

"Billy?"

He was on you within seconds of crossing the threshold. You almost pushed away, remembering the last time, but his scent assaulted you. You could even taste the rut on his tongue as he pushed you against the thankfully closed door, his mouth hot and bruising against yours.

How long had he waited before he came to the center? Just stepping foot in the building had to cause him physical pain with the scent of Omegas all around.

"Need you," he mumbled against your mouth as he lifted you up against the door, "need you now."

You wiggled a bit against him, feeling him already hard against your core. And although you'd been nervous just thirty seconds ago, now you were panting and wet for him. 

And you were pretty sure it was only partially because of you mirroring him. 

You dropped down to your feet and dragged your mouth away from his, tugging on his collar until he pulled back far enough for you to slip away. 

"Bedroom," you moaned as his hands found you once more, his mouth on your neck worrying at the skin there with his teeth and tongue. 

One of his hands slipped under your pants and underwear in the front, his fingers seeking out to see if you were wet already. At finding that you were, he pushed his fingers inside of you while he rubbed at your clit with his thumb.

Thankfully his other arm was around your waist otherwise you would have collapsed from the feeling. 

He didn't give you time to undress, but you didn't care. You helped push your yoga pants and underwear down around your thighs, but then you were face down in the bed. He stood behind you and lowered his jeans just enough to get his cock out. 

You heard him grab a condom from the side table. In an instant his body was draped over yours. He spread your legs as wide as he could with your pants still mostly on you so that he could slide his cock inside of you.

His thrusts were animalistic as he drove in and out of you. You writhed under him at the pleasure which only increased when his hand slipped under you to rub at your clit.

You turned your head to look at him and he leaned down to capture your mouth in a bruising kiss. His tongue tangled with yours as his fingers moved faster until you were forced to clench around his cock as you came.

That's what pulled his orgasm out of him. He swore into your mouth before he pulled back to get better leverage on the next few thrusts. You rode it out blissfully until you felt his cock still inside you.

When he pulled out, you nearly fell to your knees on the floor. You had been half off the bed for the sex, but you didn't have the strength to lift yourself up just yet.

You felt gentle hands on your waist, his fingers careful to stay where your shirt was still covering you. 

"Can I help you up?"

Could he? Oh, yes, he was asking permission. You gave him a nod and he lifted you up easily to sit you on the bed.

He looked ridiculous with his clothes mostly on and his cock hanging out. He'd gotten rid of the condom at least. 

"Take your clothes off," you said—or slurred, since you weren't sure you were capable of speech yet.

Billy didn't move to do as he was told. In fact he looked surprised. You shimmied the rest of the way out of your pants and underwear, but when you reached for your shirt, his hand stopped you. 

"I need to make sure you're okay. That was… intense."

You didn't think that was the word he was going to use, but you weren't going to call him out on it. 

"It was, but it's okay," you promised as you moved to your knees so you were closer to him. "If I wasn't completely okay with what just happened, I would have pressed my alert button to get help. But I'm okay. I enjoyed it. Couldn't you tell?"

His already dark eyes seemed to get darker and you got a mouthful of his spicy scent. His instincts were flaring at you praising his prowess. 

At some point you had accepted that things between you and Billy weren't normal. You felt instincts with him that you had never felt with an Alpha before. Him taking you like that, laying claim to your body in at fit of passion? The Omega in you was purring like the cat that got the canary. 

It didn't make sense but God you didn't care. You just wanted to make him feel as good as you did. 

"Take your clothes off Billy," you murmured as you grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and up until he finally helped you take it off. "These too, please."

This time he responded to your request by kicking off his shoes so he could take off his jeans. While he did that, you took off your shirt and sports bra. Then you tugged Billy into the bed with you.

He went willingly, his body draping over yours. It was like a perfect fit. Your legs were on either side of his, his body resting easily in the cradle of your legs. His hands smoothed up your sides and over your breasts, kissing each nipple before he kissed a path up your neck. You felt him nuzzle against the scent gland there and you tried to hide a smile at the move.

"I didn't even say hello," he mumbled against your neck, still pressing kisses there as he spoke. 

"I think you said hello quite extensively," you teased.

He sat up to look at you. You were sure he was going to scold you for not taking him seriously, but his skin was getting hot to the touch. His ruts were coming on slower, but still not at a regular cycle just yet. 

You pulled him into a kiss as your hand shot out for the condoms. It took some maneuvering to get it on him without looking, but you enjoyed the feel of his cock in your hands as you put it on him. 

"I couldn't stay away," he explained as he slid inside of you, thrusting hard enough to almost scoot you across the bed. "I wasn't going to come back to the center, was gonna handle it myself, but I needed it. Needed you. Knew this was the only way to get me through my rut."

You were too far gone to let those words absorb into your brain. All you could focus on was the powerful thrusts and how his pubic bone was right on your clit for just enough friction. You moved with him, thrusting upwards in desperate motions to get yourself off. 

When you did finally come this time, Billy was right there with you. Your moans echoed over the room, ending with a whimper as he reached down to rub at your clit. It extended your second orgasm into a third, more powerful one.

And you thought you were jello before.

Billy pulled out to get rid of the condom. While you struggled to remember your name, he walked out of the bedroom wearing nothing but a look of determination. 

A few minutes later he came back with a few drinks and some snacks. 

"Here," he said as he climbed into bed with you, tugging the covers over both of you, "you like the blue one right?"

You smiled as you accepted the drink and a protein bar from him. This was part of the routine, the two of you snacking when his ruts slowed down, but you were the one that was supposed to go get it. You were the one that was supposed to take care of him.

"This isn't right," you complained lightly as you sat up and leaned against his arm, "I'm the Omega. I'm supposed to provided for you. I'm supposed to–"

Billy pushed a grape into your mouth while you were talking to get you to stop. While you frowned at him, he gave you a heart stopping smile. 

"Just let me take care of you for a bit. You can do it next time."

You would take what you could get. Especially if it meant this wasn't the last time you would see him. 

As his fever started to swell again, you cleaned off the bed. His hands had been roaming over your body for a while but he wouldn't let you take it further. This time though, he pulled you to him. Both of you were on your sides, his front to your back. He grabbed a condom to put on and then raised your leg a bit to slide inside. His hand smoothed up your side and gripped at one of your breasts as he slowly fucked into you from that position. Even when you tried to speed him up, he wouldn't. His fever had to be driving him mad, but he seemed to want to draw it out.

All you could do is hold on and enjoy yourself. 

------

Billy had gone into the shower not long after his rut broke. You stared at the bed as if you were going to find the answers in the wrinkled sheets. Then you went into the laundry room to get dressed. 

You were deliciously sore and ached with every step. It shouldn't feel as good as it did, but even though this rut didn't last as long, it felt just as intense. Maybe because this time he was more focused on you. Either way, you felt like a brand new woman.

The coffee pot called to you but you kept away from it. Today had been strange enough with the intense first time and Billy's focus being on you; you didn't want to ruin it like last time. 

You knew things were different with Billy, but you didn't want to hurt him. Or for you to get hurt. 

You saw what it did to Karen. You could only imagine Frank wasn't much better off. 

When Billy came into the living room, you found yourself really seeing him for the first time today. His body had filled out a bit since he was last there. His hair had grown more. He looked good, healthy. 

He also look uncertain. 

"Is everything alright?"

Billy looked at you and then to the door. He was going to leave. Of course he was, that's why you didn't make coffee. 

But he looked at you again. This time he didn't look uncertain; this time he looked determined. 

"I don't want it to be like that. I don't want it to be like how it used to be at the center."

How it used to be? You were confused until you remembered that he used to come before the changes. When you would walk into a room with an Omega in presentation and fuck until your rut was gone. 

"It doesn't have to be," you said kindly. 

He shook his head and took a step towards you. When you didn't step away, he came closer. Closer and closer until he could grab your hand. 

"I come in here and have you against the wall within the first fifteen seconds. And now you just want me to leave after I've showered your scent off."

It was like a punch to the gut. He thought you were kicking him out. Well of course he did; you broke routine.

You couldn't tell him that more than anything you wanted him to stay. How could you tell an Alpha who came to the Companion Center that you wanted to know about his work and how his month had been and what his favorite color was?

You wanted to know Billy. Right then you knew you'd be able to smell him a mile away, but you wanted to be able to know him. And it wasn't possible. 

"Would you like some coffee? Or tea, since it might be a bit late for coffee. I have a few different choices."

Billy nodded but he didn't let go of your hand to let you get the stuff ready. Instead he raised your hand until he could sniff your wrist.

"I shouldn't have kissed you. I know that this is your job and you treat all of the Alphas the same," he said with a little distaste, "and I respect you for that. I just want you to know that I won't try to kiss you again outside of my rut."

You could feel your heart thundering in your chest and wondered if he could hear it.

"But you'll come back? To… so that I can assist you?"

Billy met your eyes and gave a solemn nod. Then he released your wrist so that you could make the tea.

You were glad he was going to come back to you. Now you just wished you could be glad that he said he wouldn't try to kiss you again. 

While you worked on the tea, you almost missed Billy calling your name. You turned around to see that he was holding something in his hands.

Your phone. 

"Oh, sorry, I usually put it up when I have guests."

You hadn't even remembered to put the touchscreen on do not disturb. Everything had happened so fast. 

"I didn't know you could have a phone," he said as he rotated the thing in his hands.

"Of course we can. We aren't prisoners here. We can have phones and the Internet. We can leave to visit family or friends and we can go shopping. This is our home and our workplace, but it's our choice to be here."

Billy nodded his understanding, but he still didn't put your phone down. 

"Can you… keep in contact with the Alphas that you assist?"

Your skin felt warm but that was probably because you were handling a boiling kettle. 

"Uh, yes, technically we can. At least there aren't any rules with having a friendship with an Alpha that we have assisted."

Having a relationship without going through the proper process was another story. And definitely you weren't allowed to sleep with them outside of the center unless something happened and you had to join them for their rut in their house. But that had to go through the center as well.

You heard the keyboard on the phone and when you looked behind you, Billy was entering something into your phone.

"You don't have to contact me if you don't want, but if you do? Now you can."

You stared at the phone as he put it back down on the coffee table. 

"Now I can."

------

The incessant ringing was your touchscreen. With a loud groan, you crawled out of bed and made your way into the living room. You'd been feeling unwell lately, body sore and head pounding. Your bed was the most comfortable place to be.

The constant ringing meant it wasn't a message from the center but someone physically ringing your doorbell. You frowned as you opened the view.

Karen was on the other side, pressing the button over and over again. You pulled open the door and nearly got bowled over as she came rushing into the apartment. 

"You'll never guess what happened last night!"

You groaned as you followed her to your couch. 

"Don't tell me you were watching the Bachelor again? I thought we agreed that show was horrible."

Karen seemed too happy to give in to your picking on her. Instead she slapped your arm happily. 

"Frank asked me to move out of the center. I won't be living with him," she said in a rush before you could ask. "I told him I wanted to actually work at a newspaper and there's one nearby that's interested in my application. He agreed that it would be good for me and said that he could start taking me on real dates now!"

Even not feeling the best, you squealed in happiness as you hugged your friend. 

"I'm so happy for you! Not just because of this Frank thing, but because I know you've been wanting to leave the center for a while."

She hugged you again, unable to contain her glee.

"You should think about leaving too. Think about all the things you could accomplish outside of these walls."

You let out a small laugh as you settled into the couch. 

"As an unclaimed, unmated, unprotected Omega? Yeah, I'd accomplish great things. I've always wanted to be on a milk carton."

Karen slapped your arm again, but it wasn't out of happiness this time. 

"Don't talk like that. You'd be protected by whatever job you got until you found a mate. Or Frank could claim you until you found a mate. Being claimed by a recently retired Marine would make you a definite no-no to be slave traded."

It was kind of her to offer, but you didn't want to be claimed by someone you didn't know. When your parents broke their claim on you, you had gone to college just for the protection it gives. And then you came straight to the center after getting your degree so that you could have protection here. 

The only person you'd want claiming you would be your mate, and mating was such a messy business. You could mate with someone but there was always the threat of you finding your True Mate.

True Mates were thought to be myths although you read accounts from people who swore they had a True Mate. They said you knew almost immediately and it overshadowed everything else in your focus.

But you had also read many stories about people who had been mated to someone they loved and then left because their spouse met their True Mate. 

It'd kill you if your mate found their True Mate and left you. And you'd feel horrible if you did it to someone else.

So claiming wasn't an option and there wasn't anyone you would be interested in mating. Well, almost no one.

"You don't have to decide now. I'm going to start the process of moving out so I have a few days. And if something changes and you need somewhere to go, you'll always have me. I can't claim you but I'll sure as hell keep you safe."

You immediately wrapped your arms around Karen's shoulders and held her close to you. 

"I'm so happy for you," you breathed into her hair.

And you were. Although maybe just a little jealous as well. 

------

Billy was going to be there soon. You had accepted his request a little late, so you had less time to prepare than usual. 

First you got the food and drinks ready. Then you grabbed the vacuum sealed bags. You put them on the dresser and decided to shower first so you could let your hair dry a bit.

In the shower you almost used your regular body wash. It was only when you smelled the fruity scent that you realized your mistake. 

For the last few weeks your body had felt so weird and tense. On top of that you had become a bit of a scatterbrain. You had tried to go to the store without wearing shoes.

Out of the shower you dried off and put on some clean clothes. Then you had to run into the laundry room to make sure to put clothes in the dryer so you would have something to wear after everything. 

On your way back to your room, the chime on the touchscreen went off and made you jump. You checked the view and smiled when you saw Billy on the other side.

"Hi," you said happily as you let him in. "Here, let me take your coat."

You took it off of him and hung it on the hook near the door. When you turned back to him, Billy was staring at you. 

"What? Is my shirt inside out or something?"

He laughed and grabbed your hand to guide you over to the couches. 

"No, sorry. You just look beautiful."

You felt heat fill your cheeks at that. Both of you sat down and Billy made sure to keep you within arms reach. 

When he had left last time, he had shaken your hand like it was a business transaction. Now you were pressed against him on the couch and contemplating how soft his hair looked.

Things really were different before and after a rut. And here you were already mirroring him. 

"You never called me," he teased as he reached out and rubbed his fingers against your collarbone. "I might have waited next to my phone like a teenage girl."

You laughed and ducked your head at that.

"I kept thinking I would bother you. I don't know when you're at work or what you do after work."

The thought of calling or texting him when he was on a date nearly crushed you. 

"You can call me anytime," he said as he leaned in and brushed his nose up the length of your neck to your ear. "I'll always answer for you."

God that really shouldn't be so hot. You bit your lip when he pulled back, hoping he couldn't tell that you were turned on. But of course he could tell, he was an Alpha.

"Come here," he said softly as he patted his leg, "face me."

The last time you had been on his lap like that, he had taken you to the bedroom and gone down on you despite him not being in his rut. You didn't want to cross too many lines, although you were sure you'd cross some once his rut took hold.

When you didn't move, he gave you a smile and tugged on your wrist. The scars had faded a lot since the first day and you almost didn't notice them anymore. Although they did stand out when his face was red after multiple orgasms. 

The hand on your wrist was gentle and he gave it another light tug.

"Don't think about it, just come to me."

There was no Alpha compulsion in his voice but made you'd rather think there was. Instead you just did as you were told and crawled into his lap. You sat facing him, your legs on either side of him. He leaned in and brushed his nose across your throat so that he could scent the other side.

"I can't place what you smell like. It's something I recognize."

You closed your eyes as that washed over you. Billy in his rut smelled like spice and copper, heavy on your tongue when you kissed him. Outside of his rut, you weren't sure what his scent was. Granted you'd never seen him outside of his rut. 

"I've been told I smell like burnt sugar," you said softly as you leaned in closer to him, letting him take more of your weight. 

"No, that's your scent when you're mirroring me," he said with a shake of his head, pulling back to meet your eyes. "When you're hot and wet under me, you smell like burnt sugar. You taste like…"

He leaned in to smell your neck, shaking his head. You could feel his hips giving small, aborted rolls. He was getting hard under you, but he didn't smell like he was in fully in his rut yet. 

"Before you mirror me, when we're just like this, you smell different. Smells nice, soft," he mumbled as he continued to sniff your neck. 

Your hands were on his shoulders to start with but by that time, your hands were in his hair to hold him close. He held you close and licked up the length of your neck. Your body rolled to get closer to him, aching at your core. 

"Mm, I'm starting to smell sugar," he murmured against your neck, smiling as he did. 

"Okay, enough of that," you said as you leaned away, heat in your face rivaling the heat that had pooled low in your belly. 

"Shh, stay."

He licked up your neck again as you writhed on top of him, feeling tense but not unpleasant. He bit down on your jaw before he pulled back to meet your eyes. 

"I like you like this. Usually you're so put together and in charge. Like this you're just as needy and desperate as I will be soon."

There was just a hint of spice in the air and your body was reacting to that, but there was more to it than that. This didn't feel like mirroring, not the way you were used to it. This felt like something else entirely. 

"I thought I was supposed to take care of you this time," you said around a moan, tilting your head back when he rocked up against you. 

He brushed his hand down the front of your neck before he wrapped his hand around the back and pulled you in close to him. You opened your mouth and leaned in closer, but he pulled back before your mouth could touch his. You let out a small noise of disappointment at being denied. 

"You are taking care of me," he promised before he leaned in to capture your lips in a heated kiss.

Heat seemed to swell inside of you at the kiss. Your body rolled into his, feeling the hardened length of his cock so close to where you actually needed it. You wanted more, wanted to feel him inside you. 

His hand moved down your body, squeezing your breast through your shirt. Then his hand went further down your stomach, resting between your legs. He rubbed the back of his fingers against the seam, harder until you were left panting above him as he rubbed your clit through your cotton pants and underwear.

"Billy," you gasped as your hands clutched at his shirt, barely holding on as you tried unsuccessfully to ride his fingers, "I need…"

"I know," he whispered against your cheek, his beard scratching against your skin, "I know what you need. I can smell how much you need it."

You were too aroused to care about that. His hand slipped inside your pants and pushed your soaked panties to the side. You felt it as he ran his fingers up and down your slit, rubbing your clit with his thumb. It was just this side of good enough but then he pushed his middle finger inside your pussy. 

"Just like that," he said as you started to rock against his hand.

A second finger joined the first, followed almost immediately by a third. Your body opened for him easily and you clenched your pussy around those fingers as you rode him harder. His thumb still circled your clit. The edge of his nail dragged across your clit and you fell forward against his chest as an orgasm rocked through you. 

You tried to catch your breath as your body rocked on top of him. He pulled his fingers out of you and then out of your pants. You watched as he raised the hand to his mouth and licked them clean, the smell of spices growing thicker to you. 

"Your turn?"

Billy watched your hands go to his button and fly. You got his cock out with some finesse. As much as you wanted to get your mouth on him, you knew you shouldn't. Not without a condom on hand and those were in the bedroom. Instead you shifted your weight mostly onto one leg so that you could jerked him off without issue. 

"Fuck, yes, like that," he moaned as his head fell backwards, his hips arching up into you as you worked him over.

The feel of his cock in your hand was wonderful. You wanted more, wanted it in your mouth and wanted to feel it inside you without a condom. You wanted him to fill you up and cover you in his scent. You wanted…

You tightened your hand around Billy's cock, the thumb rubbing over the head. You could feel him leaking at the tip so you spread it around. 

It was on your fingers. You knew you could raise your hand to your mouth, clean your fingers the way that Billy had just done, but there were rules against it. The protocols stated that males always had to wear a condom.

The rules were there for a reason.

Instead of focusing on how badly you wanted to taste him, you kept your hand working on his cock. Soon you could feel him twitch, feel him fuck himself up into your hand. The smell of spices filled your nose so you leaned in to kiss him. It would keep you from occupying your mouth elsewhere. 

The feel of his come splashing against you had you quivering on top of him, so close to a second orgasm just from that. Billy didn't stop kissing you, not even when you released his cock. 

You needed to move to the bedroom. These things were supposed to only happen in the bedroom. 

How many rules would you end up breaking for this Alpha? You didn't even care anymore. 

His hand smoothed up your back under your shirt, his nails dragging against your skin. 

"Bedroom?"

You agreed. After a moment you crawled off of his lap, but you didn't get far before his hands were on you again. His lips ran over your cheek and neck, his nose burying against your scent gland as the two of you walked together to the bedroom. 

The moment you walked in, you remembered that you hadn't finished your routine. The sheets on the bed were your personal sheets. You swore and turned to face him. 

"I'm sorry. I'll change them really quick," you said as you turned to head to the linen closet.

His hands went to your hips and pulled you backwards, letting you feel him hard against you. 

"Just leave them, just this once."

You froze, your hands over his. The companion training you went through told you that this was a bad idea. It wasn't proper to let the Alpha be immersed in your scent outside of the rut and mirroring. But…

You turned around to face Billy, giving him a quick nod. He pulled you towards the bed but didn't push you onto it just yet. Instead he went to work on your clothes. First your shirt was thrown onto the floor, then your sports bra. He tugged your pants and panties down at the same time, supporting you as you stepped out of them. 

When you were completely naked, he stood up straight and held his hands out to either side. Your brain must have been on a delay because it took you a moment to realize that he wanted you to strip him.

First was his shirt because you wanted to get your hands on his chest. It was pulled over his head and thrown onto the ground much like yours had been. Then, after he took off his shoes and socks, you worked on tugging his jeans over his hips and then down his long legs. Those off, he was left in a pair of black briefs.

You hadn’t actually seen his preferred type of underwear before, he always took them off himself. They were snug and fit him nicely, covering the perfect cock you’d already had your hands on tonight. But they didn’t need to be on him anymore so you tugged them down as well. 

Both of you naked, Billy walked you until the back of your knees hit the bed. Both of you tumbled onto the bed, him on top of you. He fished out the box of condoms and grabbed one of the foil packets. He leaned up onto his knees to put the condom on before he moved back on top of you. He lifted one of your legs over his arm before he slowly slid his cock inside of you, thrusting so slowly that you felt as if you could feel every inch.

His body pressed against yours, his mouth on yours, you were surrounded by his scent and the heat of him. Your hands scratched over his back as you rolled your hips, taking him deeper with each thrust. You felt him moan into your mouth as you clenched your pussy around his cock. 

“You feel so good,” he said as he stared down at you, his eyebrows drawn together as his thrusts picked up pace, “feel so good like this, take my cock so well.”

You nodded your head, unable to make words when you felt so full, so stretched for him. It felt so good that all you could do is tug him down for another kiss.

His thrusts grew harder and faster. He dropped your leg so that he could reach between the two of you and rub your clit. The pleasure only intensified as he ducked his head to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, his teeth tugging on the nub until you were crying out.

Your orgasm snuck up on you and made your legs shake around his hips, your back bowing upwards to get closer to him. Billy gave a few hard thrusts before his orgasm crashed over him as well. He dropped on top of you, his forehead against your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close for a long moment.

Too soon he pulled out of you to dispose of the condom. While he took care of that, his hand went back between your legs. Two fingers pushed inside of you, fucking you gently. You helped him put the next condom on. Then you rolled over onto your hands and knees.

He leaned up behind you, draping his body over yours. With a kiss to the back of your shoulder, he slid his cock back into you. 

This position was less intimate, but it felt more intense as his thrusts started out forceful and sharp. Each snap of his hips jolted you up until you had to grab onto the headboard before your head slammed into it. The hand not on your hip moved to lace his fingers with yours on the headboard, holding you there as he fucked you. You held on tight, your other hand between your legs to rub against your clit.

“Wanna make you feel it,” he groaned into your ear as he moved, his cock stretching you so perfectly in this angle. “Wanna make you feel so good for me.”

As if he didn’t make you feel good with everything he did.

It didn’t take long before you came again, dropping your head and torso against the bed. Billy’s thrusts were more and more erratic so you clenched around him to help him out. You listened to him swear before you felt his cock twitch, spilling inside the condom again.

He pulled out again to get rid of the condom. You sat up and looked him over, judging if he was still in his rut or if it had cycled down already. Once you were sure that he was alright, you got up and went into the kitchen to get the food and drinks. You carried them back into the room and spread them out over the bed.

“This is my favorite part,” he said as you handed him a drink, “which is saying something because this is easily the best sex I’ve ever had.”

You bit your lip to hide your pleasure at that, but you knew he could probably smell it on you. Instead you handed him a protein bar and settled onto the bed next to him.

“Eating in bed? They not let you do that in the military or something?”

He laughed and then tilted the bottle up, draining half of it in one go.

“Sitting here with you, comfortable and sated and with the knowledge that I’ll be fucking you again soon.”

Did he have to say it so casually? You had to admit though, he had a point. And all of the snappy comebacks that came into your head all were reminders that this wasn’t a date and you didn’t want to bring that up. Instead you lifted your own drink to keep from having to speak.

It wasn’t just the best sex you’d ever had, although that was part of it. Being with Billy was the best that you’d ever felt in general. 

You were a goner from that very first meeting, weren’t you?

X

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*****

This time when Billy left, you felt a certain lightness in your chest. He had made you promise to call him at some point before he had to come back. You had been hesitant to do it before, but for some reason you didn’t feel the same hesitation after that night.

There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with having sex with Billy in your own blankets. All of those training classes that had said that it was a colossal mistake had been exaggerated. Billy seemed fine, even if he smelled more strongly like you until he took his shower.

After you put the cups in the sink, you went into your bedroom and froze. You were assaulted with the scent of you and Billy, but it also smelled like home. The effect made your knees weak.

Maybe those training classes meant it was a mistake for you, not for the Alpha.

Begrudgingly you gathered up the bedding to take to your laundry room. As much as you didn’t want to lose the special scent of you-and-Billy, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to handle it for much longer. You already wanted Billy more than you should.

Although wasn’t that part of the Companion Center? Finding someone to mate while at the center was not only allowed, it was encouraged. So what if you and Billy were gone for each other? That just meant the two of you should probably…

What, talk about mating? You felt like an idiot just thinking about it. Yeah, Billy obviously liked spending time with you and sleeping with you, but did that mean he wanted more? You were good sex, easy sex, you wanted him from the first moment you sniffed him basically. Jesus, you were almost as bad as the Omegas that rolled over and presented the moment they saw an Alpha.

Still, it wasn’t impossible for you to maybe talk to Billy about something, right? He gave you his phone number and he obviously wanted you to use it. The two of you could be friends.

Friends that fuck, sure, that was a thing right?

The more you thought about it, the more you talked yourself out of it. You wanted more with Billy, but you couldn’t see how someone like him would settle for an Omega he met at the Companion Center. He’d probably end up with someone he met out in the real world, maybe a pretty Alpha woman who had a steady job and didn’t fuck people for a living.

The night after Billy’s visit, you found yourself sitting in front of your computer late into the night. Your body felt strange, tense and yet heavy. Whatever illness you had didn’t seem to have let up much except for when Billy was there, but you were probably just so excited to see him again.

You checked in with Karen and looked at the photos from her new place. There were even a few of her and Frank.

He wasn’t what you expected, but they looked so happy together. And he was handsome, if a little imposing. 

While you flicked through some newsfeeds, your mind strayed to Billy. You hadn’t looked him up on any sort of social media because you didn’t want to know what his life was like outside of the walls of your apartment. If you found out that he was dating someone, it would break your heart.

But there was one place you could get information that wasn’t personal. You signed into the Companion Center’s network and called up the Alpha registry. You had his Alpha ID memorized so you typed it into the search and waited for the page to load.

There weren’t any comments on his profile but that didn’t surprise you. It’d been so long since he had been there, you were the only Omega he had seen and you never commented on these profiles unless you’d had a bad experience.

You scrolled through his description and his background, things you already saw the first day you accepted his request. Instead you scrolled to the bottom of the page where his Alpha information was entered in. 

History of suppressants, irregular ruts, Alpha levels of… holy shit. Billy’s Alpha levels were the highest you’d ever seen. No wonder your body reacted to him the way that it did if that was the case. It wasn’t something special between the two of you; he just had that much pull over Omegas.

You scrolled through a few more of the tabs on the page until you found one of interested Omegas. This website was only accessible by Omegas. You rarely used it but some Omegas were on it daily. They’d comment on their Alphas, some of the comments being crude or completely inappropriate. Sometimes they would select an interest in pairing with the Alpha. 

Billy’s page had over thirty interested Omegas. That meant if he didn’t ask for you but wanted to pick a new Omega, he’d get these thirty to pick from first before they tried to match him with another favorable Omega. 

You recognized a few of the Omegas that had expressed interest. Some of them would be a good match for someone like Billy. And every single one of them were trained the same as you; what did you have that they didn’t? What would make you better for Billy than they were? 

Nothing.

You clicked off the page and closed your laptop. You shouldn’t have looked. Knowing that Billy was an advanced Alpha didn’t change how you saw him or how you felt about him, although you did think it might have something to do with what he felt about you. You had pretty high Omega levels; of course a high level Alpha and a high level Omega reacted like this together. But knowing that and knowing that if and when he got tired of you, he had thirty other offers just waiting for him?

That night you curled up into your bed and tried to pretend that you could still smell Billy’s scent on your pillows.

------

It had been a week since you'd had an Alpha request. You didn't mind the break, but it meant being alone with your thoughts a lot. 

With Karen gone, you weren't as social as you had been. You were friendly with some of the other Omegas at the center, but not friendly enough to seek them out. 

You could go out to the city and do some shopping, but it was raining and you didn't want to be soaked. Calling Karen was an option but she was working as a journalist now and you knew she would be busy. 

Plus it was Friday. Surely at six pm she would have a date. 

Perhaps you could call your family and see how everyone was feeling. It was a good idea, but you didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with them. Especially when their first question would be if you were still whoring yourself out.

It didn't matter that you had made a lot of money over the few years you worked at the center. They still just considered you a whore.

You picked up your cell phone and looked through the few contacts. There was one in there that you hadn't dialed before.

Billy had told you to call him. Maybe you would at least send him a text. Then he could ignore it if he was busy.

You composed a quick text message to him.

Hi Billy it's Y/N. You don't have to respond, I just wanted to say hey.

You hit send before you had a chance to second guess yourself. Before you could put the phone down, it lit up with a phone call and Billy's name. 

"Oh shit," you whispered as you lifted the phone to your ear. "Hello?" 

"You could have just called me," he greeted with a smile in his voice. "Texting takes too much time."

You curled your legs up onto the couch under you as you sat down.

"I didn't know if you were at work. I didn't want to interrupt an important meeting."

His laugh didn't sound the same over the phone, but it was better than nothing. 

"I own the business, I can do whatever I want. But I worked from home today. I had a doctor appointment that took a few hours."

That drew you up short. 

"A doctor appointment? Are you ill?"

You thought about how you had felt lately, tense and sore. Maybe you weren't the only one. Or perhaps you got him sick. 

"Plastic surgeon. I looked him up after my accident and they were just now able to fit me in for my second consult. Wanted to show me what I'd look like after."

You ran your thumb over an uneven stitch in the hem of your yoga pants. 

"You're going to get plastic surgery?"

There was a beat of silence on the other side before you heard a sigh.

"I thought about it. You saw me not long after the accident. Not only was my face fucked up, but my head was too. I thought fixing my face would fix me."

"I didn't think your face was fucked up," you said in a rush before you could talk yourself out of it. "I thought it looked like it must have hurt, but I still… still thought you were the most attractive man I'd ever seen."

And that stayed true to this day. 

Billy scoffed on the other side but you didn't think he was blowing you off. In fact it seemed like he was maybe a but embarrassed. 

"I don't think that I'll go through with it. They aren't as bad as I thought they'd be and…"

You made a soft, inquiring noise in the back of your throat to urge him to continue. 

"And if I have surgery, I'll be in recovery for a few weeks and they'll put me back on suppressants."

"Oh. And you don't want to mess up your ruts now that you're getting back to normal."

"Yeah," he said quietly, "and because it would mean I wouldn't get to see you for a while."

You were stunned silent at that. What was the appropriate response to someone saying something like that to you?

"Billy, you shouldn't make that decision based on me. We can still talk on the phone while you recover."

"I know, but it's not just that. I was so vain about my face, my looks. I felt hideous like that, you know. But you saw me when they were barely healed and you didn't… you didn't even flinch."

It felt like your heart was breaking for him. 

"Of course I didn't flinch. It was obviously something traumatic that had happened to you. I wouldn't… I could never find you hideous."

The honesty was something you couldn't help, not when it came to Billy. The honesty just seemed to come out of you. You didn't even mind it.

 "You're amazing," he breathed across the line.

You felt warmth fill you at the praise. Of course you weren't sure you deserved it, but you weren't about to turn it down. 

But you did want to tell him something. 

"I do want to admit something Billy. I looked you up on the Companion Center intranet. It doesn't have personal information on there, but I uh, I did see your Alpha levels listed."

He let out a chuckle and if you didn't know better, you would say he sounded a little embarrassed. 

"Yeah, those," he said with another laugh. "Military said they'd never seen such high levels from a kid in the foster system before."

You were stunned and you weren't sure if it was because Billy had been an orphan or if it was because he was telling you about his life. 

"You were in the system?"

"Uh, yeah, I was safe havened at a firehouse in Albany. Without a family history, I got passed over a lot as a kid. People don't really wanna mix with an unknown element."

You understood that. You were unclaimed but at least you could tell people who and what your parents were. Billy didn't know. 

Most likely his mom was an Omega and his dad would be an Alpha. You wondered if he had ever tried to track them through the government blood tagging system. 

"I think it's bullshit. I'm an adult who makes her own money and makes her own decisions but because I'm an unclaimed Omega, I have to have proof of protection otherwise I'll be scooped up by Omega hunters or government people? Why do our positions dictate that?"

"Couldn't agree more," he said sincerely. "I should be judged by what I make of myself, not something I had no control over like being abandoned or being an Alpha."

It felt freeing to talk to Billy like this. Besides your rants with Karen, you mostly didn't talk about the incongruity of the situation. You were an Omega who not only accepted your position but benefited from it, but that didn't mean you were blind to the struggles of others. 

The two of you were quiet for a moment after that. You didn't want the call to end yet though. 

"Do you–" you began right as he asked "Would you like–"

Both of you let out a laugh at having talked over each other. 

"You first," he offered softly. 

"Do you need to go? I don't want to hold you up if you're working."

"You're not holding me up. I was actually wondering if you would like to go get dinner together."

It was frowned upon, but it wasn't against the rules. But there were protocols about these things. Most interactions with Alphas outside of the center had to be approved by the center. Phone calls, talking online, those were allowed because the center trusted the Omegas to keep things casual. But an Alpha and an Omega who have slept together hanging out in person? That was usually reserved for pairs that were starting the mating process. 

"Forget I asked," he said quickly. "How about instead we make dinner together? How does that sound?"

You nearly melted into the couch cushions.

"That sounds wonderful. I'd like that very much."

You could hear the smile in his voice as he agreed.

------

"Wait, wait, did you really think it was a good idea to tell your drill sergeant to blow you?"

Billy's laugh echoed over the phone. As he explained that no, he was pretty sure he was going to get his ass kicked, you settled down onto your bed and tugged your cover up to your chin.

The two of you had made it a habit to talk on the phone almost daily. Every now and then Billy would be busy at work and he would have to stick to text messages instead. And of course you would have an Alpha that you would have to assist.

Those times you’d just tell Billy that you would be busy. You didn’t want to burst the bubble of contentment that had settled around the two of you. Of course he knew what you would be busy with, but both of you could pretend it was something else—anything else—if you didn’t put it to words.

His rut was most likely coming up soon and you couldn’t help but think how it was going to be different. The two of you talked about so much during these phone calls; you couldn’t just pretend that Billy was an Alpha that you were helping. No, there was so much more to it now. So much more to him.

“Where’d you go?”

You made a noise in the back of your throat as you realized that you had stopped reacting to whatever he was saying. 

“I’m so sorry Billy, I swear I was listening but then I started thinking about… well, it’s almost been a month since you were here last.”

The last time he’d been there, you had forgotten to change your sheets. You weren’t sure why that stood out to you so much since the actual sex hadn’t seemed any different, but you couldn’t shake the fact that it meant something. You just weren’t sure what.

“My rut will be back in a few weeks,” he replied, his voice a little lower than before. “I’m not noticing any symptoms yet but once I do, I’ll get to the center to request you.”

You had already decided to decline any Alphas that may request you around the time that Billy would be coming to the center, but you couldn’t tell him that. That felt too much like a declaration and you didn’t want to make one of those. Whatever the two of you had, it hadn’t been put to words and you weren’t about to break that routine.

Your mouth spoke without permission from your head.

“I wonder if you would have noticed me if it hadn’t been for my scent,” you said softly, your eyes trained on the ceiling of your bedroom.

“What do you mean?”

Once you realized what you had said, you wanted to kick yourself. That was playing in dangerous territory. Instead of taking it back or ending the conversation, you sucked in a deep breath and explained.

“You picked me from my scent, right? I just wonder if you would’ve even noticed me if we had met, I don’t know, at a bar or somewhere.”

If it was normal, if the two of you were just you and not Alpha Billy and Omega Y/N. And by his response, he was thinking the same thing.

“So if we were both just at a bar, minding our own business. Say I had to go up to the counter to order a beer and you’re sitting there. You want to know if I would have noticed you?”

You felt ridiculous, but you needed to know.

“Without my scent, without knowing me. Just… from your impression of me sitting there. Would you have even said hello?”

Why were you holding your breath? Why did it matter? You were basically asking him if he found you attractive, if he would have wasted his time with you, but it didn’t matter. The fact was that the two of you did know each other and you were friends now. That’s all that mattered. That’s all that—

“Of course I would have said hello. I would have turned the charm up to eleven and flirted with you, tried to get your name.”

A flash of giddy warmth filled you and you kicked your feet, hoping he couldn’t hear it.

“You would?”

“You kidding me? You’d be beating the guys off with a stick and I would have… would have tried my best to get you to come home with me. If you could stand the sight of the scars.”

Billy was confident in himself, you’d seen it, but there was still some insecurity under the surface. It all revolved around those scars.

“Scars or no, I think I probably would have thought you were crazy for talking to me. And if you tried to get me to go home with you?” You took a breath, feeling the tightness low in your stomach. “I can promise that you would have succeeded.”

There was silence on the other line and you wondered if you had overstepped, but a moment later you heard him let out a deep breath.

“I would’ve showed you a good time if I took you home,” he promised in a low, rough voice, his accent a little more pronounced on some words. “Would’ve made you feel good.”

Your breath was coming out faster, a little dizzy as you listened to his voice over the phone.

“I don’t think you’re capable of making me feel anything but good.”

You weren’t sure if that even made sense. And it didn’t help that your voice was breathless as you spoke.

God you were gone on this man.

“Y/N, where are you right now?”

You looked around your room as if you had forgotten where you were. You’d forgotten everything that didn’t center around this conversation, this man, his voice.

“I’m in my room,” you said as you shifted under the covers a little, “in bed.”

“Are you under the covers?”

“Yes.”

There was silence on the line and then a slight rustling.

“Take the covers off.”

Your heartbeat was thundering in your chest, but you moved to do as you were told. You kicked the covers down to your feet, your toes curling but it wasn’t from the sudden cool air on your bare legs.

“Billy,” you began, but he cut you off with, “What are you wearing?”

That tightness that had been in your chest had moved lower, lower, until it settled in the pit of your stomach. At his words, your thighs automatically clenched together.

“Shorts and uh, a t-shirt.”

You wondered if you should have lied, should have said something about lacy lingerie. But you didn’t even own the stuff so that wouldn’t feel right. You didn’t want to lie to Billy, not even about that.

“I’m gonna ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth, alright?” At your assent, Billy let out a breath that rattled into the speaker for a second. “Do you want to touch yourself with me right now?”

If it was possible for your heart to break free from your chest, it would have right then. Instead you just pressed your hand over where you could feel it pounding and closed your eyes.

“Do you want that?”

It wasn’t an answer, but you needed to hear him say it.

“You want me to tell you that I had my hand down my sweatpants from the moment you told me that I would’ve been able to take you home? Or should I tell you that I think about this every time we talk on the phone? Or,” he added in a tone that could only be described as seductive, “do you want me to tell you that every time I jerk off between my ruts it’s to thoughts of you?”

God. You rolled onto your side in order to put more pressure between your legs. Your eyes were still squeezed shut. If you did that, you could almost imagine he was in the bed with you.

“Yes,” you breathed out when your eyes finally opened, “I want you to tell me those things.”

His chuckle made you squeeze your legs together. Your hand moved to rest low on your stomach but no further.

“Tell me something then. I told you all my secrets, I want you to tell me one.”

You should have seen that coming. You bit your lip and rolled back onto your back, your chest rising and falling with your heavy breathing.

“I don’t touch myself,” you said softly, wondering if he could hear your heartbeat over the phone. “My secret is that I want to touch myself right now. With you on the phone with me.”

It was a long moment before he responded.

“Take your clothes off.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. And there was no way it was Alpha compulsion because it didn’t work over the phone. You sat up and pulled off your shirt, glad you had gone without a bra tonight. Then you made short work of your shorts and underwear.

“You too,” you said as you settled back down onto the pillows.

“Already done sweetheart,” he said with a grin in his voice. “Put the phone on speaker for me, alright? I want you to have two hands for this.”

You did so with a shaking hand, letting him know once you were done. He let out a pleased noise that made you wetter. As if he knew what had happened, he let out a soft laugh.

“Play with your nipples for me. Both hands. You know how I do it when I get my hands on those perfect tits.”

You moaned as your hands complied with his demands. He was always firm with you, his fingers tugging and pulling on your nipples. You alternated between that and firm grasps since that’s what he did.

“Are you… are you touching yourself Billy?”

You needed to know. You needed to know that you weren’t the only one.

“I’m making it last. If I touch myself right now with you making those noises, I’ll come before I can even jack myself.”

Just the thought made you moan. That you did that to him astounded you.

“If I was there, I’d eat you out. I can’t tell you how much I love the taste of your pussy,” he said lowly, his voice trickling over your body. “Since I’m not there, I want you to touch yourself. Spread that pretty pussy. Tell me how wet you are.”

You knew that he was a talker, but you really did think it might break you this time. Without the urgency of the rut over both of you, his dirty talk was going to turn you into a puddle before this really began.

Legs spread, you slipped one hand down your stomach and between your legs. You ran your fingers up and down your slit, feeling how wet and hot you were.

“I’m dripping,” you admitted as you continued to just rub yourself. “I’m going to leave the bed soaked after this.”

His moan made your thighs flex.

“Touch your clit for me. Not fast, just tease it for me.”

The moment your fingers were on your clit, you wanted to rub fast and hard, but his words made you keep it slow. You rubbed over the nerves until you were panting, your knees bending to try to give your hips leverage.

“Billy, please,” you begged as you continued to rub.

“That’s it, that’s my girl. Now put a finger inside. C’mon, let me hear you.”

You didn’t need to be asked twice. At some point he told you to add another finger so you pumped two in and out of your pussy, your thumb rubbing against your clit between thrusts. It wasn’t graceful but it felt good. Your hips moved in tandem with your fingers. Your other hand continued to play with your breast as you fucked yourself.

His breathing got heavy and you thought you could heard the sound of skin on skin. You definitely could hear his grunts. 

“I wish that was my hand. Or my mouth,” you admitted shamelessly as you moved, voice breathless and low. “I can’t stop thinking about getting my mouth on you. I want to… I want to taste you.”

He let out a loud moan that echoed over the line. 

“Fuck I want that too. I’d love to see you with my come on your face.”

Your back arched as you pumped faster, harder. You could tell that you were close and you could only hope that Billy was too.

“Please, I need… please Alpha, I need you.” Your mind was so far gone, so focused on your orgasm, that you didn’t even realize what you said.

“Yes, I’m here. Come for me, my Omega, come for me.”

Your back arched so far off the bed that you were basically upright, your body shaking from an incredibly intense orgasm. Your pussy clenched around your fingers. Your heaving breaths echoed in the quiet room as you flopped back down on the bed.

On the other line, you heard Billy’s panting grow faster until he was groaning out his own orgasm. Once it was quiet on that side as well, you slowly pulled your hand from between your legs. 

“Are you still there?”

“Yes,” you answered quickly as you sat up, reaching for tissues near the bed for your hand. “Just uh, cleaning up.”

The sheets were beyond help. You’d need to change them before you could fall asleep. 

Instead you just rolled out of the wet spot and grabbed your phone. Once you switched it off of speaker, you pressed it against your ear and shut your eyes once more.

“Billy?” He made an inquiring sound on the other side and you bit your lip before you asked, “Will this change things?”

He was silent for a moment before his soft, soothing voice was back in your ear.

“I think we’ve been changed for a while.”

------

In the middle of the night, you jolted upright. In the space between awake and asleep, the words you’d said that night on the phone with Billy came back to you.

You’d called him Alpha in your moment of need. And he had replied, hadn’t he? He called you his Omega. 

It was the heat of the moment, you told yourself as you laid back down. And he hadn’t mentioned it so… so maybe it didn’t mean anything.

It didn’t stop your mind from playing the moment over and over again until you fell back to sleep.

X

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*****

The weather was supposed to be clear for most of the day, but while you were in the coffee shop getting a muffin and some green tea, it started to rain. You settled onto a seat near a window to stare out as the rain fell.

You shouldn’t have worn a dress today, but you had picked it without thinking. Between the dress and your flats, you weren’t ready to trek back to the center just yet. Not in the rain. You’d wait for it to get lighter before you tried to head home. Or maybe you’d just call for a cab.

Being out of the center never held much appeal for you before. You’d run your errands, but you didn’t dawdle. It wasn’t your dislike for being in the open but more of your urge to be back in your home. The comfort of your apartment was a bigger pull than the freedom of being in the city.

Today felt different. Today you sat with your legs crossed under the table and the trash from your muffin on the table, no urgency in your bones. Maybe it was that you were still run down from whatever sickness you had. Maybe it was because for the past three nights you’d missed Billy’s voice in your ear.

Maybe it was because you’d seen Karen and Frank and had wanted that simple intimacy. They’d sat on the couch together, touching but not for any reason beyond just that they wanted to. Frank had kissed her when he got up to get something to drink and Karen had curled against his shoulder as the three of you watched a movie on her tv.

In your mind, you pictured you and Billy like that. You thought about the two of you cooking dinner together, him picking on you because you had a habit of burning food more than anything else. You thought about him covering you with a blanket when you fell asleep with a book on the couch. You thought about wrapping your arms around his waist as he brushed his teeth or got ready in the morning.

You wanted Billy in more ways than just sexually. If it was just that, you wouldn’t have felt bad. It was completely normal for someone to fantasize about someone they’d had sex with. But your fantasies weren’t dirty.

Well, not all of them.

But you hadn’t heard from Billy in the past few days. He sent a text every morning and sometimes in the middle of the day, but he said that he was working on something that was keeping him busy. He didn’t want to avoid you, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to give you his full attention.

His work had picked up the morning after the two of you had gotten off together over the phone. You could only pray that that was a coincidence because the alternative was too much for you to entertain. That he had gotten tired of you or that he knew you’d overstepped that night and didn’t want to talk to you anymore but was letting you down easy.

Or, somehow worse, that he had been less than impressed with your phone sex abilities. It was the first time the two of you hadn’t been gripped by his rut, so maybe he didn’t like it. Maybe he didn’t really want you outside of his rut.

You should have been happy about that. If he didn’t want you outside of his rut, that meant the two of you could continue the way that you had been. You could help him in his rut, but it meant that you didn’t have to feel like you were breaking every rule you had as a companion. You could…

It didn’t matter. If Billy didn’t want you outside of his rut, it would kill you. To think that he only wanted you when it was a biological imperative, that it wasn’t really his choice? To think that you were falling for him and he’d only want you once every six months?

For an Alpha, there were multiple Omega scents that would be pleasant to them. Billy could pick someone else if he didn’t want you during his rut. The thought that that’s all there was between the two of you made the muffin and tea in your stomach turn sour.

Even though it was still raining, you grabbed your purse and your bags to get ready to leave. You threw away your trash and walked to the door. 

It didn’t look like it was raining that hard. You sighed and pushed the door open. 

The rain felt cool on your skin as you walked. The first block wasn’t bad, but by the second, you were already pretty wet. The rain was coming down harder and you still had quite a walk to the center.

You were going to be drenched by time you got home. And whatever sickness you’d had before was going to be so much worse at this rate.

Somewhere between block four and five, you thought you heard your name. You kept walking, uncertain if you were just hearing things, but then you heard it again.

Not just your name, but your name being called by Billy. Unable to help it, you spun around and looked. Raindrops getting into your eyes, you blinked a few times. There was a car nearby but that was all. Just as you started to believe you were hearing things, the driver got out.

Even with rainwater in your eyes you recognized Billy. He crossed in front of the car and ran over to where you were.

“I thought that was you. What are you doing out here in the rain?”

“Shopping,” you said as you lifted the bags, frowning as you tucked them under your arm to keep the things inside from getting wet. “I didn’t realize it was supposed to rain. It’s a longer walk than I thought it was.”

Billy swore and looked over his shoulder.

“Come on, get in the car. Gotta get you out of the rain before you get sick.”

He put his hand on the small of your back and started to guide you to his car. You didn’t fight it. He opened the door and you slid in.

It was a nicer car than you had ever been inside before. This was something you hadn’t expected for some reason. And the moment you realized just how expensive this car had to be, you realized you were drenched and dripping all over the leather seats.

As Billy slid in, you met his eyes with an apology already on your lips.

“I’m so sorry Billy, I’m getting water everywhere,” you said as you thought about just getting out and back into the rain.

“I don’t give a fuck about that. Jesus you’re soaked to the bone,” he said as he leaned forward and turned on the heat a bit for you. “I live one block back. How about I take you there to dry off and then I’ll take you to the center?”

You wanted to say yes. You’d give anything to stay in the car with him, to see where he lived, but then you remembered why it had been days since you’d heard from him.

“I know you’re busy with work. I don’t want to interrupt and cause a problem. You can just drop me off at the center.”

He shook his head as he started the car, checking the road before he pulled out.

“No, work can wait. I’m not dropping you off like this, not when I can literally see my building from where we are. Let me just get you there and dried off.”

There wasn’t any Alpha compulsion in his words, but there was a stubbornness for sure. And you didn’t think it was Alpha stubbornness. No, this was just Billy. You smiled and ducked your head, unable to help it.

He wanted to take care of you. Surely that meant something, right? Surely it was more than just the rut if he wanted to make sure you didn’t get sick.

You wished you could stop grasping at straws. How many times did you need to tell yourself that this wasn’t like that? Billy was apparently well off, handsome, intelligent, a brave soldier; why would he have fallen for the companion who was getting him through his ruts?

As for the things he had said on the phone that night, he was horny. Everyone said things they didn’t mean when they were turned on.

God, you’d referred to him as Alpha. Talk about a biological imperative…

He pulled into a covered parking deck of one of the larger apartment buildings in the area. You let yourself get bundled out of the car, your things under your arm as he guided you into an elevator. At his floor, you stood behind him and dripped on the marble floor as he fumbled with his keys.

The door opened and he ushered you into his apartment. It was large and spacious. There were things strewn about in a way that didn’t make the apartment messy, just lived in. You had never pictured his apartment before, but you felt that it fit him. Warm, dark colors mixed in with high tech electronics.

Billy disappeared for a moment before he came back with a towel in his hands. He was wet as well, but he was more focused on you.

“Here, put your stuff down,” he said as he draped the towel over your shoulders. “I should grab a second towel.”

But he didn’t move to do that. Instead you noticed that he was staring at you. You looked down and realized that the rain had made your dress cling to your body, revealing more than was hidden. You tugged the towel around you, a wave of embarrassment running through you.

He’d seen you naked half a dozen times. He’d been inside you, brought you to pleasurable heights you could barely describe. How was him seeing you like this making you embarrassed?

“The bathroom is this way,” he said as he turned around on his heel.

You followed him a little more sedately. God, his eyes had felt like a solid presence on your body. It was just because of how you felt. This stupid little crush or whatever it was. 

He didn’t need your insecurities and your ridiculous attention. This was a man who could probably snap his fingers and have anyone in the vicinity. He’d end up with an Alpha because someone with his Alpha levels would need someone who could keep up with him. He’d end up with some beautiful, powerful Alpha and they’d be happy. He wouldn’t need to go to the Companion Center anymore.

He wouldn’t need you.

You stepped into the white and chrome bathroom, the towel not much of a protection against the sudden coldness that had nothing to do with the temperature. Billy said something to you before he shut the door, but you barely heard the words.

He would leave you, he’d have to. You were a companion. This wasn’t a relationship. It didn’t matter that you wanted him—that you craved him—because it wasn’t meant to be. Even if you left the companion center, even if you didn’t have the rules hanging on you anymore, it still wouldn’t work out. 

How could he have ever love you like you loved him?

That’s what it came down to, wasn’t it? You were in his bathroom in a drenched dress and shoes that sloshed when you walked, a towel that smelled clean and yet still somehow like Billy wrapped around your body. You were in his apartment, his things around you. You were surrounded by Billy, the man you had met and had fallen irrevocably for. 

And it didn’t matter because Billy wasn’t the man for you. He was an Alpha that once his insecurities over his face were resolved would be one of the most sought after men in the city. Hell, he probably was even with his scars. You’d seen the comments on his Alpha profile at the center; some of the Omegas had heard about Billy before his accident.

Attractive. Successful. A serial dater. A lady’s man.

Your knees shook as you braced your hands against the counter, water dripping over your arms and pooling onto the surface. It wasn’t that Billy wasn’t the man for you. It was that you weren’t the woman for him. He was meant for amazing things. His company was in the news all the time for their achievements and their skills. The government was in talks to use his company in future ventures.

You were an Omega that had spent the last few years being fucked by Alphas. For the first time in your career, you felt dirty. Alphas came to the center for help, but at the end of the day, you were just something for them to use to get out of their rut. With the suppressants given by the Betas, you weren’t able to get pregnant by any of the men you slept with. You could give them pleasure, maybe get some pleasure yourself, and at the end of the night, the Alpha would leave and go back to their life.

And you would wait for the next Alpha to come to you.

There was a knock on the door and you quickly turned away, wiping the tears in your eyes away.

“Yes?”

“Brought the clothes,” he said through the door. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Can I come in? Just to put them on the counter.”

You sniffled and checked your reflection in the mirror. Hopefully it just looked like rain water had gotten into your eyes.

You tugged the towel up towards your face as you told him to come in.

“Here, just some sweats and… are you okay?”

You nodded and wiped at your face with the towel, cursing yourself for not staying turned away from him.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for the clothes. I’ll be finished up in a few moments.”

The less time you spent here, maybe the less it would hurt. Except you knew that that’s not how it worked.

Billy gave a nod and backed out of the bathroom, telling you to take your time as he shut the door. 

Alone again, you used the towel to actually start to dry off. Then you took off your dress and folded it into a wet pile on the counter. Your underthings were wet so after a moment’s hesitation, you took them off and wrapped them up in your dress to hide them. Your shoes were kicked off. 

The sweatpants were too long for you so you rolled the waistband and then rolled up the cuffs a bit. Next was the shirt which was clearly older and a favorite of Billy’s given by the worn feeling of the cloth. Why he had given you his favorite shirt, you couldn’t figure, but you tugged it on anyways. Being naked under his clothes made your skin tingle, but you told yourself it wasn’t like that.

You dried your hair and then stared at yourself in the mirror. At least you hadn’t worn makeup today or else you’d look worse than you already did. But you weren’t crying anymore and that’s all that you could hope for.

Your mind went back to the revelation you’d had before he had come in. You loved Billy. You loved him and you wanted more with him than just being the companion he went to for relief in his ruts. It wasn’t fair that the Alpha you fell for, which you’d always accepted as a possibility, was the one you weren’t good enough for.

The words of your scandalized Beta parents came to you in a flash. You were tainted goods, worse than the Omegas who were sold into slavery because at least they hadn’t wanted their fate. You had decided to do this to yourself.

Shame washed over you, but not because of your job. You were ashamed that you had thought that. You weren’t a whore, you weren’t a slave, you weren’t dirty. You were an Omega who had made the decision to help Alphas who were in need. The work you did might not be traditional, but it didn’t mean you were any less than anyone else.

But it did mean you weren’t meant for Billy. Not just because you were a companion and he deserved someone different. Billy had never dropped any hints that he wanted more from you than a companion that helped him during his rut. The phone sex had been an anomaly, both of you geared up from sexual tension. It made sense since the only times you’d spoken before had been followed by sex.

It was a Pavlovian response, that’s all. He didn’t want you, he was just used to having you.

And while it was going to hurt, you needed to cut ties. You couldn’t be his companion anymore, not when you wanted more. It wasn’t fair to him.

You would be using him.

You met your gaze in the mirror and found yourself faced with a determination the likes of which you’d never seen. It would hurt like hell, carving part of your heart out of your chest, but it needed to be done. You didn’t want to use Billy like that; you couldn’t be with him without wanting more.

He deserved better than that. And he deserved more than an Omega companion with no family, no prospects, no wish for more.

You were settled at the companion center. You were happy there. You weren’t Karen who had dreamed of more; you were comfortable and safe so why would you want more?

With your spine straightened, you reached out for the doorknob. You wouldn’t tell Billy right now, because you knew you wouldn’t be able to face him as you broke your own heart, but once you were home you’d make the plans. You’d contact the Betas and let them know that you couldn’t accept Billy Russo anymore. You’d clean his clothes for him and send them to him with a letter that explained why you would no longer be able to be his companion.

It was time to do the right thing.

That in mind, you turned the doorknob and stepped out of the bathroom.

The rest of the apartment was empty. You were about to call out for him when he came down the hall that you thought must lead to his bedroom. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt as he crossed over to you on bare feet. 

“Do you have a grocery bag so that I can put my clothes in there? I’ll be sure to wash this before I send it back to you.”

Billy shook his head as he went into the kitchen.

“Just hold onto it. I’ll get it when I come back to the center.”

Except he wouldn’t be coming back to you. You couldn’t tell him that so instead you smiled and accepted the bag from him. You went into the bathroom and put your belongings into the bag after ringing them out into the sink. Once you were done, you cleaned up the water on the floor and the counter with the towel and dropped it into the hamper in the bathroom.

Then you stepped back out of the bathroom. Billy wasn’t visible so you walked down the hall a bit. He was in the living room. You hovered uncertainly before you took a deep breath and stepped towards him. 

If this was your last time seeing him, you wanted to remember what he smelled like without his rut. You wanted to look at him with his hair falling around his forehead and his shoulders relaxed as he scrolled through his phone.

You wanted these memories. Needed them.

He noticed you in the room and stood up. He smiled as he looked you over wearing his oversized clothes.

“That dress looked good on you, but I like you like this too,” he said with a grin as he started to slide his phone into his pocket. He didn’t even let it go before it started to ring.

“Hello. Hey, I’m actually… wait, they did? Fuck. Okay, hold on,” he said as he pulled the phone away for a second. “I have to take this. I’ll be right back.”

You gave him a nod and watched as he disappeared into another room. From what you could see, it was an office. He opened up a laptop and sat down at the desk all while talking about something that must have gone wrong at work.

He was in his element. It was nice to see.

You walked over to a bookshelf and looked over at some of the titles he had there. Some were obviously well loved while a few were most likely bought just to be had. Mixed in with the books were a few framed photographs. 

Billy getting an award pinned to his Marine uniform, a few from Anvil. There was one that looked like him and some of his buddies overseas, but your attention was drawn away from it as hands went to your hips.

“Looking for something to occupy your time with?”

You let out a soft laugh, unable to help but leaning into his embrace.

“Wasn’t sure how long you were going to be on the phone. Thought I might as well read for a while.”

His hands on your hips turned you so that you were facing him instead of the bookshelf. He kept his hold on you. Those dark eyes moved over your face until you could almost feel him caressing your bottom lip.

You knew you should pull away, change the subject. You should ask him if he was ready to take you home or, better yet, if you could just call a cab. You knew that you should go through these steps because after this you were cutting ties, but your body refused to cooperate.

If after this you were going to cut ties anyways, why not just let yourself enjoy this moment?

His hand moved up and brushed against your neck. You closed your eyes and let yourself enjoy the touch. The scent of him rocked through you, natural and clean. It was almost familiar but you weren’t sure why. And, before you could ask what his scent was, you heard him let out a growl.

“Fuck it,” he said as he leaned in and captured your lips. 

You didn’t even bother pretending you were going to push him away. Instead you tugged him closer, moving your lips against his as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. His hands went down to your waist and he tugged you closer to him.

It was just a kiss. It wouldn’t matter, not in the long run. It was just a kiss. It was just…

Billy’s hands didn’t leave your body as he walked the two of you across the living room. You followed him as best you could while still trading kisses. When you stumbled into his bedroom, you didn’t stop. 

This was inevitable. The two of you were falling onto the bed together, your bodies aligned perfectly. He sat up just long enough to tug off his shirt and you followed suit, throwing your borrowed shirt onto the floor. His mouth descended down onto your breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth. You arched into the heat of his mouth and scratched your nails up his back and into his hair. 

The next thing you knew, your pants were being pulled off of you. The borrowed sweats were too big as it was so he was able to tug them off easily. He threw them onto the floor and then spread your legs to get his mouth on you. The instant his mouth touched your pussy, you swore and arched under him.

His tongue moved over you hungrily, circling your clit before he pulled the little nub into his mouth. Then his fingers were spreading your folds and pushing into your wet heat. His hand moved faster and faster and you rocked your hips to the speed, angling closer to him as your orgasm started to build.

“Please Billy, please,” you begged as you thrust up against his mouth.

His lips curled against you. He sucked harder and moved his fingers in and out faster, driving you up and over the crest of your climax. 

“Fuck that’s hot,” he said as he moved back over you, kissing your still quivering stomach and breasts before he captured your lips. “I can’t tell you how much I love how you taste.”

Your brain was lost in the haze of sex and orgasm and Billy. With one foot flat on the bed, you arched your body until the two of you rolled over and you were on top. You wiggled down his body and then tugged on his sweats. He helped you take them off but before he could even open his mouth to say anything, you leaned over his cock and swirled your tongue over the head.

The taste of him was strong on your tongue. You ran your tongue along the ridge under the head and listened to the thread of filth fall from Billy’s lips at the maneuver. Next you hollowed your cheeks and sucked around the head, earning more filth.

His hand fell to your head but not to push you. Instead you moved to sit up so that you could take him further into your throat. You opened your throat and sucked him down more and more each time, your hand gripped at the base of his cock so that you could jack the part you couldn’t deep throat. The hand on the back of your head tightened and then you felt him give a pull of your hair.

“Off baby, off,” he said as he sat up. He grabbed your shoulders and rolled the two of you over again. “I need to be inside of you.”

You didn’t even hesitate as you spread your legs. You reached between the two of you and grabbed his cock, jacking it a few times before you guided him to your entrance. He braced himself over you as he slipped inside, inch by glorious inch. Once he was inside, he looped his arm under one of your legs and lifted it, changing the angle for his first thrust.

“Fuck you’re so tight around my cock,” he mumbled into your neck as his thrusts picked up. “Feel so good to me, so good.”

You rolled your hips with his thrusts, both of you riding the high of it together. It felt amazing. Every thrust was better than the last, his hips angled so that most of the thrusts brushed against your g-spot. You were probably screaming but you didn’t even care. All you could think was that you didn’t want this to stop.

His thrusts got harder and harder until you could feel your body scooting up the bed. You braced a hand above you against the headboard to catch yourself, but you didn’t stop moving with him. 

“Fuck, so good for me, so perfect. Come on my Omega, come for me,” he said into your ear before he kissed you again. 

Your mind was blissfully blank in that moment as your orgasm crashed over you. It was just a few more thrusts before he was coming as well, your name groaned out against your neck as if it was torn from him.

He slumped over you, his body pressing yours down deliciously. As you laid there, you realized what had just happened.

You’d had sex with Billy in his bed, in his apartment, outside of his rut. Not only that, but you’d had unprotected sex with him.

Oh god, he was still inside of you.

As if he could sense your thoughts, Billy pulled out. You bit your lip as you sat up, your eyes wide as you looked down at your body.

How many times had you imagined that? It was so much better than your fantasies, but that wasn’t the point.

It never should have happened.

You weren’t sure what Billy was doing, but you quickly grabbed the shirt and pants you had been wearing and rushed from the room. In the bathroom you cleaned up and tugged the clothes on. Your skin was sensitive to the touch, nerve endings alight after that spectacular mistake you’d just made.

You’d wanted to leave today with memories. You didn’t think that would be one of them.

Dressed once more, you stepped out of the bathroom. Billy was there in his sweatpants looking at you as if he was approaching a cornered animal.

“I know that we should have used protection,” he started, holding his hands out as if he wanted to touch you, but you shook your head and moved over to where your bags were.

“I really need to get back to the center. I… I can call a cab.”

You heard him shift his weight behind you and you reached into the bag for your cell phone.

“I’ll take you,” he said in a soft voice, careful. “Let me just get my shirt and my keys.”

You watched him turn and walk away from the corner of your eye. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, telling yourself that this was for the best. This was the only way this story could end.

When he came back out, he had a sweatshirt in his hands which he handed to you. You hesitated before you pulled it on, zipping it up. He slid his feet into some sneakers and then looked at you with your bags already in your hands. He didn’t say anything as he moved to the door to open it for you.

He locked it behind the two of you and then you got into the elevator. The ride from his floor to the parking garage felt like it took years but it was probably only a few moments. Then the two of you exited out towards his car. You were slow in your bare feet, but Billy didn’t rush. At the car, he opened your door and waited for you to get seated before he shut the door.

God this was it. This car ride would end your relationship with this man. You could still feel him inside of you, could still smell him on you. How long after this would it take for you to get over him?

Would you ever get over him?

Billy turned the heat on the moment the car was started. He pulled out of the parking space and then out of the parking garage before he turned in the direction of the center. Halfway there he finally spoke.

“You gotta talk to me here babe. What’re you thinking about?”

What were you thinking about? About how much it was going to hurt to say goodbye to him. And while your first plan had been to tell him in a letter when you sent back his clothes, you knew you needed to do it now.

Rip off the bandaid. It won’t heal faster, but at least it’ll be done.

“We can’t… I can’t be your companion anymore.”

You were going to say that you couldn’t see each other anymore but that made it sound like you were dating rather than the truth.

“What? What, because of what happened? Y/N, we–”

You latched onto the excuse rather than explaining the truth, grateful to be given the chance.

“Companions aren’t supposed to see Alphas outside of the center. We’re… we’re definitely not supposed to sleep with them outside of their ruts.”

Billy cursed, his hands turning into fists around the steering wheel. You wished you could tell what he was thinking, but he was hard to read. The scars seemed to be alive, twitching with the muscles in his jaw and cheek. 

When he pulled out in front of the center, you started to reach for the bags but he grabbed your wrist and stopped you.

“This… this doesn’t have to be about the center. This doesn’t have to be about Alphas and Omegas.”

Him saying the word reminded you of what he had said in bed again. He had called you Omega. You weren’t sure if you felt butterflies or if you were heartbroken over it, but it cemented how you felt about doing this now. Right now you were just an Omega to him, just another hole to fill. This wasn’t about love for him. It wasn’t his rut, sure enough, but it wasn’t love.

It was sex. And you were ready, willing, and someone he knew he could enjoy.

“This is really for the best. You can… you can explore other Omegas for your ruts and–”

“That’s what you want? You want me to use another Omega?” 

You flinched at his wording, but he didn’t see. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel and then turned to you. There was no warmth in his eyes, the look he usually wore around you missing. There wasn’t anger or pain; there was nothing in his eyes. It was like looking into a black nothingness.

It broke your heart.

“Well don’t worry. I’ll never ask for you again. I’ll find another Omega to fuck during my rut. You can think about me inside of her and feel better about yourself.” He turned away from you, his body tight and shaking. “Now get the fuck out of my car.”

You wiped at your eyes before you grabbed your bags and opened the door. You had barely shut the door before he put the car in drive and took off. You dropped your bag and you stooped down to pick it back up, your hands shaking as you made sure nothing inside was broken, tried to protect the from the rain.

“Miss? Can I help you?”

You looked up and saw one of the Betas from the front desk. She looked so genuinely concerned that you couldn’t help but break into tears as you collapsed onto the sidewalk.

It would stop hurting at some point, wouldn’t it?

X

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