#redkingrising

5/16/20

Yes I'm aware it's the 23rd now but whatever. I just washed and cut my hair. Being quarantined in a super shitty environment sucks ass. Anyway, I've been on T for two years. I'm not even close to where I want to be 😭

9-20-19

I lost like... 10lbs. I'm still not where I wanna be with my weight but I don't hate it as much as I did. So I feel okay enough to share a photo of my belly. Not because of weight but to show the body hair. I definitely have a lot more. While it was initially one of my concerns, I've grown to like it. I shaved it off two months ago and regretted it. So if you're on the fence because of it, I wanted to let you know that that might change after. It might not, but it might.

9-18-19

Feeling masc

Update 10/12/19

My eyebrows are darker. Still ugly though. Losing weight even though scale says no. I'm definitely thinner. Idk why I weigh the same. I really doubt it's muscle. I did nothing for it, I barely eat or drink anything and I haven't been taking T because I don't want a blood clot.

Tmi:

Bottom growth is great. Not surgery in sight. No help with it. Have to go out of network no matter what.

Happy coming out day (a day late idec)

9/14/19 Cut my hair. Might dye it soon. The red is gone 😭

That said, I'm back on half dose. Levels are okay again. Voice is still meh. Much hairy. Surprisingly okay with it.

Update [5-16-19]

Today marks 1 year on T. I was going to do more than just share a shitty selfie but it's late and I'm tired. I wanna crawl into bed and die. I'm so sick of being fucking abused.

Anyway whatever. Have my ugly fucking face with this shitty beard that needs a trim. There's more on my chin but I keep plucking them from stress. I'm a fucking bird. I'm squinty because Sun. Not happy. I wish I could say at least My voice is where I want but it's not. The only positive thing I've had is that I stopped bleeding in February.

Also sharing my ugly, hairy belly and the only pretty thing about this post is my new ring.

Update [4-17-19]

Next month, I'll have been on T for a year. It's so hard to believe that. I figured it was time for another update.

Insurance is still making top surgery difficult. I think I found the form finally so we'll see. Later today I have a consultation with a plastic surgeon for weight loss and excess skin. Fingers crossed that she'll code it in a way that makes insurance cover it. I can't take the pain anymore. I'm sick of waking up screaming. And maybe she can fill the form out too.

On the 25th, I'm donating blood. I haven't had a hell week since January, and my hemoglobin levels are elevated but not enough to require a phlebotomy, so donating can only be a good thing, both for me and for whoever gets my blood.

I'm 160-163lbs so I'm still fluctuating but not losing how I need to. But my skin looks firmer and my chest is doing weird shit. Arms down, it looks bigger than it used to, but arms up, it looks a lot smaller. Can they just go away now please?

Still waiting to change my name on my license.