#redkingfalling

Update 10/12/19

My eyebrows are darker. Still ugly though. Losing weight even though scale says no. I'm definitely thinner. Idk why I weigh the same. I really doubt it's muscle. I did nothing for it, I barely eat or drink anything and I haven't been taking T because I don't want a blood clot.

Tmi:

Bottom growth is great. Not surgery in sight. No help with it. Have to go out of network no matter what.

Happy coming out day (a day late idec)

9/14/19 Cut my hair. Might dye it soon. The red is gone 😭

That said, I'm back on half dose. Levels are okay again. Voice is still meh. Much hairy. Surprisingly okay with it.

I donated blood. Pretty sure my levels were high again so I might request staying permanently on a half dose of T.

Firstly, happy pride month! I missed both local pride marches so I'm miserable.

I've been on T for over a year now. I donated blood in April and my hemoglobin was a bit raised. I had my three month follow-up with my hematologist on Monday. My hemoglobin was too high and I was at risk of a blood clot. He asked if I had a change in my T dose and I haven't. But I'm going to planned parenthood on Friday so we'll see if they have any clues as to why the sudden change after doing so well for almost a year.

I had my first phlebotomy today, and I have to be monitored every month again, and have a phlebotomy if it's high. Which is basically the same as donating blood, except in America we're all about wasting, so while there's a high demand for blood, They don't bother using discarded blood for that purpose. My blood, even now, is safe for donating. It could have gone to someone and I'm upset that it literally just got tossed out. But I needed it out of me, so here we are. I guess I need to find me a vampire boyfriend or something so he can just drink it and it's a win win 😂

I haven't updated in a while. Life has been super busy. Both my mom and I have been running back and forth to doctors like crazy. I don't really get a chance to rest, and when I do, I have work to catch up on. I wrote a 16 page play for a contest, and yesterday I got a new eyeglass prescription. My birds are ill and I've missed two doses of T. Okay, in truth, one was in purpose.

Since my last blood test said my hemoglobin was higher (not like unnaturally high, but higher than it's supposed to be) I got paranoid. Mostly because with all the running around turns to lack of sleep, and overexposure to fluorescent lights, it hit me with a severe migraine that made me feel like I was dying. Like I couldn't breathe and I felt like I was overheating. The heat didn't help. But my hematologist had told me to pay attention to headaches and dizziness and stuff so I got scared. I only held it for a day. And the second dose I missed because I had to handle the birds excessively. I'm feeling better now, and it's not as hot, so I honestly don't know if I'll need to cut my T dose down or just avoid heat at all costs 😂

I have some foods with protein now, plus weight loss foods, and my mom finally gave me my weights, so now I'll be working out granted I have time and energy. My next pp appointment is the 13th and I see my hematologist on the 12th. I'm hoping to go see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom on Tuesday in Imax. Fingers crossed, I guess. I may have to go back to the vet instead 😩

I think I'm starting week four of testosterone. It's hard to tell because the calendar switched months and it's apparently not written on my phone even though I remember putting it there.

Hair growth:

I let my beard grow out which makes it easier to see where new hairs are coming in. I saw like maybe two new ones on my face, But my fuzz is getting darker, like how my beard was before the failed electrolysis. I have a small patch on my chest that used to be there and then had gone away. It's back. The hair on my arms was usually blond despite me having naturally dark hair, and now it's getting darker. Kinda wanna shave my beard though. It's really annoying.

Bottom stuff (contains TMI):

It feels a little bigger and its definitely more sensitive. Like holy fuck more sensitive. I need to get fucked. I'm also dryer. Good. I actually like how I feel dry.

Voice:

My throat has been sore since like, a day after I started. It never went away. But now my Voice starting to crack and the otherday I sounded like I had a cold. Perfect. I'll just keep eating ices. It's June anyway. Nobody will question me.

Cycle (TMI):

Hell week was extra painful. But it lasted like one day? After that, for two more days, there was only blood when I peed. And it was only a little bit. Like a red tint to the pee. The cramps were torture though. Like enough that I skipped the pride parade. But honestly who needs it? I'm having a really hard time with the community which I'll probably whine about in another post because it's been bothering me to hell. Like honestly I'm so fucking depressed from it. I just want to be loved. I see so many people talking about how loving the community is and how we're all one big happy family but they actually treat me how my family did treat me which wasn't good. They're toxic and I wanna disappear.

Skin: