#reconsile

#Agape - Selfless Love is true friendship  

Hi, My name is Tyler, I`m 17 years old and I live in Canada. I`ve been dating a very precious girl, I refer to her as the Sun as she has brought much clarity into my life. The Sun and I have been dating for over a year now, but i have many mistakes that I`ll forever punish myself for. I grew up in the generic 21st century broken home. My Mother whom i lived with for a large portion of my life married a very abusive and nasty man from Iran. This man has two children with my mother, I as well as themselves have been abused physically and emotionally by said man. So I left them to live with my Father and his wife. Life is well but i found myself troubled during high-school. Looking for acceptance and attention i acted out; I would often perform stunts in front of popular children to gain respect, or disrupt classes in order to entertain. I met the Sun in the 9th grade. i found myself feeling what i figured was love. Over the 9th grade summer the Sun rid herself of me suspecting i had cheated on her when i went to visit friends, one of which being a female.(I had not cheated) I then experienced my first heartbreak. the proceeding school year i found myself lacking the love i had had with my Sun, I then began to date the girl whom the Sun had suspected me to have had cheated on her with. This relationship became abusive so i then removed myself from that situation. Between them both i had a one time occurrence with someone which i decided to keep hidden from the world as i knew it was not something to be proud of, so i kept the pain from everyone. Nobody was to know that i had fingered that girl. I failed 10th grade History and went to compensate for it in summer school. That is when i saw my beloved Sun again. We started dating again but we were both very self conscious. I kept that secret for roughly 6 months of us dating until one day it slipped. The first lesson the Sun taught me was not to keep secrets. But i did not learn my lesson so quickly. I had been watching pornography since young of age. Without the detail,  It had become a habit, An addiction so to speak. When she found out her confidence had diminished again as i had ruined it on various occasions already. Again a while later my second offence was established. since then i have not lain my eyes on such things. I now follow, understand and agree with the #pornkillslove movement. Another issue that arose was when at a convention I peeped with longevity at the Sun`s friend, this i meant nothing by but regardless was incorrect of me to have done. I almost lost my Sun that day. I may not be pristine when it comes to mental heath and other issues but that`s no excuse. I refuse to let my youthful stupidities ruin what may be my one and only chance at true love for my future. I love the Sun and i wish to love her forever. This blog is hereby dedicated to positive and loving quotes,poems and vibes for the Sun whom I love ever so strongly. One day my love I will restore your mind to a state better than which it had ever been prior to said moment of reconstruction and expansion. This blog is dedicated to showing you your own beauty and kindness as well as the effect you compose on my life. I love you my Sun, I wish to be the bright night`s  moon to shed light on the dark times we may face, and to lead us into a brighter and happier tomorrow.

#reconsile heehee. I have to go already. 😀 #thankful (at Bonifacio Global City)

HELLO! Everybody! Apperantly people do read my blog now so that is surprising! So going into this I must say thank you I love you all! So anyways I know I didn't blog yesterday Im so sorry but that means I just have even more to tell you about this Wombat! So yesterday was a very fun day. Im not in D-Town anymore and I'm back in the TC. WOOP WOOP haha so Sophie gave me a ride down to the cities yesterday and dropped me off at my house. As soon as I got home I ran inside and grabbed the keys unfortunatly my truck Sheela was not at my house and at my aunts so I could not drive her, but the van was home so driving anything was better than driving nothing. So I set my sites on River Falls, to visit one of my best friends Michelle! It was very fun with Michelle, we went out with a few of her friends to Green Mill and had dinner there, she had one really cute friend but of course she had a bf.....ugh just my luck...what just because I like someone doesn't mean I can't still look around!!! Haha so after a great dinner with friends we went out in the parking lot and did some swing dancing!!!! Haha yes Swing Dancing right in the middle of the parking lot! Where did we get music you ask? Well I will let you in on a little secret I actually have alot of swing music on my phone hahaha. So I swinged with Michelle for awhile and then we decided to head back to the RF campus, now it is kinda cool, but the Duluth Campus is WAY BETTER GO CONCOURSES!!!! Hahaha so we chilled in her room for awhile trying to figure out what to do. We eventually decided we wanted to go to the gas station and get some Jello haha yes Jello don't ask! I met one more of her friends Hannah she was really cute haha but I kept getting nasty glares from Michelles, especially when she said she I could spend the night on her futon bahahha! I wouldn't have tired anything.....well maybe I would but hey! Im a guy give me a break! lol I ended up staying in Michelles room and we had a nice conversation and caught up on talking about life. Then I actually got to sleep in for once! Hahaa we didn't wake up til about 230! It was crazy, I hope her boyfriend doesn't read this apperantly that would make him jealous hahaha oh well do I give a shit!? Nope I do not give a shit ever!!!! I was here first and I am her best friend so F OFF! Hahaha well anways so I went home and chilled there for awhile then I headed over to STU for the day to see my other best friend Devin, thats where I am now sitting in his dorm room. We went out to Davannis and played video games for awhile and now we are watching TV, oh I guess this is a kind of important I talked to Erin tonight.....for those of you at home who acually know something about me and Erin you would be going OH SHIT!!!!!!!!  But no this actually went really well, I started off on Devins account and she caught me right away...but I didn't feel any anger for some reason, so what I did instead was be nice to her and appologized...and things actually went fine we talked for about an hour and we didn't bite eachothers heads off...we'll see if that lasts Im willing to go for it, but I can tell it was a little bit forced but idk we will see if things get better between us, I kinda hope they do, atleast she gave me the time of the day again. Anyways it was a random occurence tonight. Still not quite sure how I feel about Sophie...idk there is this other girl too that I still kinda like, she plays video games and shit idk I don't know if she likes me back though, if she did that would be awesome, I feel like I can be myself around her while when I'm with Sophie I feel like i have to be putting up defences...idk this could just be me rambling late at night. Even though it is not even that late compared to the other nights of studying this week haha. Oh something else funny people are all complaining about how it is cold here in teh cities already i want to go PLEASE BITCH ITS 30 some degrees in D-Town haha. Well anyways its time for me to get back to some video gaming!