#reckless ped

Pedestrian's Guide to Getting Along With Vehicles - Part II

Has this ever happened to you?  You're foolishly using your legs like a sucker, walking down a sidewalk and you find yourself basking in the glory of a car parked on the sidewalk?  Well fear not, pathetic pedestrian.  Here are a few simple tips that can help in situations like this.

How fortunate were you to be reminded about your foolish decision to walk on a sidewalk?! image found here, courtesy of Patrick Traughber

Step 1: Don't get angry.  While a marvel parked on a sidewalk might not be your cup of tea, it's a very low level offense in the eyes of the law.   Retaliation in any form causing permanent damage to the car could be considered a felony.  Don't chance it!  You should write a note apologizing for even thinking of doing such a thing, you monster.

A nice little note will go a long way to mending the rift that you caused.

Step 2: When you're done writing a pleasant, self-selfeffacing note, delicately posting it on the car.  Simply walk around it on the street, ever so slightly bowing your head in reverence and shame.  

Step 3: Once you passed your combustable, metal superior, find the nearest police station and turn yourself in for jaywalking.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

Walk over to the nearest SFPD station, like the Park(ing) Station Police Department and turn yourself in for being a filthy jaywalker. image found here.

Having this kind of humility when it comes to traversing our city streets will go a long way to making  our cities better for everyone motorists.