#realversion

What do you see, nurse... what do you see?

Are you thinking - when you look at me:

"A crabbit old woman, not very wise;

Uncertain of habit with far-away eyes,

  Who dribbles her food and makes no reply

When you say in a loud voice 'I do wish you'd try.'"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do

And forever is losing a stocking or shoe;

  Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.

Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse. You're not looking at me!

  I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still.

As I move at your bidding, eat at your will:

- I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters who love one another;

- A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon a love she'll meet;

- A bride at twenty, my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;

- At twenty-five now I have young of my own

Who need me to build a secure, happy home.

- A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast.

  Bound together with ties that should last.

- At forty, my young sons have grown up and gone,

But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;

- At fifty once more babies play 'round my knee

Again we know children, my loved ones and me...

  Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead.

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years

and the love that I've known.

  I'm an old woman now, and nature is cruel.

'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart.

There is a stone where I once had a heart.

  But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now again my bittered heart swells;

I remember the joys, I remember the pain

and I'm loving and living life over again;

  I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last;

So open your eyes, nurse, open and see...

not a crabbit old woman.

Look closer... see me!

   Written by Phyllis McCormack, 1966.

Phyllis worked as a Nurse at Sunnyside Hospital, Montrose.

The poem was submitted by her, as an anonymous letter, to the Hospital Newsletter for fear of losing her job.

It has been adapted many times all around the world with the ever growing urban myth of it being found in a locker in a hospital, a nursing home and every other healthcare facility almost (none of which is true).