Jan 28, 2022
Loading...
seen from China
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Canada
seen from Tunisia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Finland
seen from Singapore
seen from Slovenia
seen from United States
seen from India
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the home movie of frank’s wedding day vs peg’s home movie for her & bj’s wedding anniversary
when u get suddenly hit with that intense wave of 1am night time red-hot rage
Childhood crushes that probably "mean" something:
Bree Van de Kamp (Desperate Housewives)
Celia Hodes (Weeds)
Jan Levinson (The Office)
Never thinking about it beyond making this list (Repression)
There have been so many people in my life who were unwilling or unable to accept the love I had to give, and I need to stop seeing that as a personal failing. Not everyone is going to want to be loved as intensely as the way I love people, and that’s okay.
I have so much to give. I always believed that it would be reciprocated. And sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it’s not in the way I need it to be. That doesn’t make it wrong or me wronf. It just is. Love is a complicated thing.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
man we out here crying
Slacklining today was an amazing and almost spiritual experience for me, a way for me to work through some things in a very visceral/physical way.
My weight was a lingering thing that I hadn’t thought about in awhile, or at least hadn’t thought affected me much anymore. I haven’t weighed myself in several months but I’m sure I’m still within 10 pounds of my highest weight, if not still at my highest weight. My weight & perception of it has prevented me from trying a lot of things in my life, slacklining one of them. I remember when I had this summer fling in high school, the guy loved to slackline and invited me to go several times. I always declined because I was terrified of breaking the line in half. There are so many physical activities that I wouldn’t try because I was so ashamed of my body and afraid of failing and exacerbating fat stereotypes. I did look up the weight limit of the line and saw that it was much more than what I think I weigh, and I sat on the line first to check how strong it was. But other than that, weight didn’t cross my mind at all. Or, more importantly, weight didn’t cross my mind at all as a reason for why I wasn’t very good at walking across the line.
My main takeaway was how this silly little activity is a perfect physical representation of my anxieties & fears. I worry so much about what could happen, about looking foolish, about failing. On the line I found that I was most successful when I thought about what I was doing minimally and just went for it. That was when I got the furthest along. Learning to be okay with falling, to trust my balance, to feel the support of my friend who invited me, was so freeing.
I spend a lot of time wondering about the what-ifs in life, usually surrounding negative thoughts. This week, which is the most insane week of the year as our huge meeting is the next week, I am challenging myself to guide those what-ifs toward a positive outcome. What if I succeed, what if this makes me happy, what if my GI issues stay in check, what if I get what I want, what if this person does like me? I was reminded today that if I trust in myself and the support systems I’ve put in place, things will be okay. Even if I only make it a short way, even if I struggle, even if I fall over & over again - things will be okay, and I will feel better for having tried.
My two best friends for most of high school used to make fun of me/call me cocky whenever I said nice things about myself. I was dwelling on it today for some reason.
I’m too tired for some deep, introspective post on this but it’s no surprise that I still struggle with being kind to myself when the people who are supposed to lift you up did the opposite for me during a critical time in my life.
I’m very lucky now to have friends who are unconditionally supportive and encouraging. The work that I have to continue to do is trust that they are genuine.