#real repentance

Repentance is not an easy matter. It is not achieved except by certain and practical conditions.

Among the elements that form the basic adobes in building the real repentance are regretting, determining to give up sin forever, changing one’s bad morals into good ones, repairing one’s deeds and past and relying on believing in Allah and the day of resurrection in following the straight path and the way of perfection.

Allah (swt) has said,

“Except those who repent and amend and make manifest (the truth), these it is to whom I turn (mercifully); and I am the Oft-returning (to mercy), the Merciful.” (Qur'an, 2:160)

“Repentance with Allah is only for those who do evil in ignorance, then turn (to Allah) soon, so these it is to whom Allah turns (mercifully), and Allah is ever knowing, Wise.” (Qur'an, 4:17)

“But whoever repents after his iniquity and reforms (himself), then surely Allah will turn to him (mercifully); surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” (Qur'an, 5:39)

“And (as to) those who do evil deeds, then repent after that and believe, your Lord after that is most surely Forgiving, Merciful.” (Qur'an, 7:153)

“But if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, they are your brethren in faith.” (Qur'an, 9:11)

When you read the word “repentance” in the Bible, that word, in the original Greek, is metanoeó. This is a kind of two-part word, so let’s look at both parts:

Meta - a change that happens after after something else.

Noeó - to apply mental effort needed to reach “bottom-line” conclusions, it’s most often translated into the English word “understanding”.

So, metanoeó means to change one’s thinking. It means something happened, and work was done to understand that thing, in order to bring about change.

Is that what most people think of when they talk about repentance? Nope. But the good news is, the real definition tells us a lot about the process of making changes, and making them stick. The real definition tells us that if we change our way of thinking, if we change our perceptions, then that internal change can bring about an external change.

And understanding is the big thing missing from most people’s efforts to repent and make positive spiritual changes. Most people think they need to FEEL their way through the repentance process. As if they feel bad enough, behavior will change. But metanoeó (the word the Bible uses) is about understanding, wisdom, and forming practical strategies that eventually allow us to keep a commitment to change.

Failures tend to make us look away in emotional turmoil, but they should drive us to look even closer, to dig through the dirt of the mess we’ve made for the solid gold insights that lay hidden underneath. Repentance, like most parts of our walk, is a process, and it’s a learning process. And as the old saying goes, those who don’t learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. 

Now that I code for behavioral health I have studied up a lot on different addictions and their cycles. I also read a lot about genuine repentance signs of an addict. The following is a just a general understanding from my perspective. Note I am just giving my opinion from knowledge I have gathered from research and I am not a behvioral health professional.

No more secrets.Those who truly desire to be clean of an addiction, are completely honest about their lives moving forward.

Face the music, not shift it.Those who are truly repentent deal and face the pain and hurt and sorrow that their addiction has caused their loved ones and do not give excuses or worse yet shift the blame.

Ask for forgiveness.They realize that this is not something that can be swiped clean right away, but instead realize that forgiveness is a process that takes time for their loved ones. Also they recognize that this forgivenss is one that underserved and they show sincere appreciation.

Keep themselves accountable.They understand that addictions are not things that can simply be cured and will require an on going continuous effort. One way to safeguard themselves? Allowing others to hold them accountable. This isn't something you can do on your own. If you could, wouldn't you have done it already?