Author: @aphroditegeto

Pairing: Suguru Geto x Amaterasu (oc; female)

Genre: Romance

Word count: 4,390

Summary: It's almost six in the morning when Suguru calls her Amaterasu to the rooftop — and nothing about their life together will ever be the same again.

“It's you, it's you, it's all for you, everything I do. I tell you all the time, Heaven is a place on Earth with you” — Video Games, Lana Del Rey

"The act of conceiving a life is the purest that exists.

Memory is not as clear as it should be — it betrays her, makes existence itself a lie told by her own thoughts to give meaning to the pain that passes through her heart. It corrodes her from the inside out, swallowing her senses and every fragment of truth. Memory betrays her, but her body does not.

Everything is strangely familiar: the peach tree, the wet grass between her long fingers, the clouds above her head, the sounds around her. She can feel the energy vibrating all around — it embraces and comforts her, making that place her home. Hers alone.

The passage of time is palpable; it is as though each moment were a brushstroke on the canvas of existence. From the tranquil stillness of dawn to the vibrant symphony of midday and the serene reflection of twilight, the difference in time can be felt in the shifting colors, the moving shadows, and the evolving rhythms of life. The difference can be felt with intensity when her heart begins to ache.

The heart feels too heavy, it aches and agonizes, escalating the pain slowly — and it is like this that she feels Suguru for the first time since she appeared in that place. He tears her heart apart with his hand, leaving her chest of his own will and hunger to live; he wants the world and wants it now and does not care what he must face to conquer everything before him. Her tears trace down her face and the first plea for mercy is released from her dry lips. The pain is too much to bear, her fingers grip the grass and her eyes roll back as a scream breaks from her open chest. And having him there, before her, bathed in her blood and surrounded by the same aura as her, makes her question why she is suffering so much for something her consciousness does not even know what it is.

He cries — quietly and frustratedly, completely lost and not understanding what is happening. Suguru feels her pain, he can almost touch that sensation with his fingertips just by looking at her face and witnessing her suffering. Then, with only a slightly more careful look, they understand each other. Suguru is forged from her kind heart, bathed in her wholeness and woven with her love. Every piece of him holds a pure feeling, something she has never witnessed.

He is her Eden, even though he almost killed her in the process and took a great piece of her heart. Suguru loves her benevolently, even without knowing the meaning of such a simple word for such a great feeling. Her body bled gold, her eyes wept precious stones, and her chest conceived her first and only love."

honey [05:49 AM]: wake up honey [05:49 AM]: wake up honey [05:49 AM]: wake up honey [05:50 AM]: wake up, please honey [05:51 AM]: I'll keep sending you messages until you answer me

It is the sound of notifications arriving on her laptop and the messages lighting up on the screen that makes her realize dawn is almost here. It is almost six in the morning on a Saturday and she still has not gone to sleep, let alone noticed the time passing around her, absorbed as she was in her book. She opens the chat quickly and cracks her fingers loudly before giving all her attention to Suguru.

goddess [05:53 AM]: I'm awake goddess [05:53 AM]: I'm writing goddess [05:53 AM]: love honey [05:53 AM]: I need you to come up to the rooftop! it's important! honey [05:53 AM]: IM-POR-TANT! honey [05:53 AM]: IM honey [05:54 AM]: POR honey [05:54 AM]: TANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT goddess [05:55 AM]: is it REALLY important? goddess [05:55 AM]: last time you said that goddess [05:55 AM]: we went to a twenty-four-hour shop to buy spring rolls. goddess [05:56 AM]: because your craving for that thing came out of nowhere at three in the morning!!

That happened on his birthday, and just the thought of that moment makes her smile at her laptop screen. Suguru had woken her with childlike excitement, his eyes gleaming in the darkness of the room, his warm breath against her skin as he leaned over her, shaking her body insistently. She tried to ignore him, murmuring something incoherent, but he laughed and whispered with such genuine animation that it was impossible to resist. The memory of the two of them at the convenience store still brings a warm glow to her chest. He grabbed the spring rolls with an almost ridiculous enthusiasm, tearing the packaging open with his teeth before even reaching the cashier. When she ran her card through the machine, he made an exaggerated pout and grumbled about how he should have been the one paying, as if that really mattered in the middle of the night.

He just chewed on another piece and smiled, his eyes sparkling like a child's on Christmas.

She forgave him quickly, as she always did. How could she not forgive him, when he had that irresistible way of turning even the most mundane moments into something memorable?

honey [05:55 AM]: trust me, my goddess. please...

The nickname makes her cheeks grow warm and her body begin to heat up — Suguru knows how to mold her, because with that simple, foolish nickname, when spoken from his sweet lips, she fulfills his every request and wish without complaint. He makes her feel desired, loved, necessary for him to live. Because when he calls her that, she wants to obey.

Wearing nothing but Suguru's oversized hoodie and a pair of underwear underneath, she makes her way to the rooftop without many expectations of what to expect from Suguru.

When she opens the door, a cool breeze caresses her body and makes her shiver. The sky is clear, but the cold air warns her that it might rain in the morning.

"I'm here."

Her voice comes out as a low sigh, almost inaudible. He is turned toward the door with his head bowed, resting his arms on the rooftop railing while wearing a grey tracksuit set and cat-paw slippers, and he looks a little more alert than her. His bright smile with that dimple, directed at her, makes her heart settle and her shoulders relax a little — he just wants her attention.

When he directs that smile specifically at her, her heart feels it will never be ready for the fall it will take for this man. He knows how to bend her, makes her bleed without effort, makes her crawl, makes her head spin. And every time that smile appears, all she wants is to kiss him until they both lose their breath.

Before she even has time to take in the setting Suguru has prepared, he is standing before her with his hands on her cheeks and an even warmer smile on his soft lips. When he presses his lips to hers, he trembles as if he is nervous, slow in the way he kisses her and completely appreciative. He strokes her cheeks with his thumb in the same rhythm his tongue meets hers, making her melt in his arms like warm honey. Her hands grip his jacket by the collar and she rises onto her toes to reach his lips as best she can.

"If I had known you'd be this put together, I would have changed my clothes." Her voice carries a touch of amusement as she tugs at the sleeves of the oversized hoodie she is wearing. "I look like a street urchin."

Suguru glances down at her, and the mischievous gleam in his eyes sends a shiver down her spine before he even moves.

His lips find her neck slowly — first a graze of skin against skin, then a warm, gentle kiss that makes her breath catch for a moment. He laughs against her skin, the low and husky sound vibrating through her body before pulling her closer, squeezing her waist with just enough force to make her feel every firm line of his body.

This was never new for him — that little laugh against her neck, those touches that border on casual but hide something more. Only this time there is a subtle difference, something in the way his lips linger longer than they should, how he presses his mouth against her neck and stays there, breathing deeply, letting her hands rise naturally to his hair. Her fingers sink into his dark, silky strands, and Suguru lets out a sigh, as if surrendering to something inevitable.

"You look perfect." His voice sounds like a confession, a secret whispered in the middle of the night.

His mouth slides to her jaw, warm and teasing, and she tilts her head slightly to the side, just enough to catch his lower lip between her teeth. He freezes for a second, then smiles.

"Love really is blind." Her soft laugh mingles with the warmth between them. "I'm just wearing your hoodie and underwear with little strawberry prints. You don't need to lie to make me feel better."

His fingers slide lazily along her waist — a light touch, almost absentminded, but carrying something electric underneath.

"I'm a liar, then." He murmurs, his lips dragging to her cheek. "I'd rather see you naked."

"Suguru!" Her tone is a blend of indignation and laughter, and she gives him a weak shove against his chest, but he only laughs, satisfied, catching her wrist easily before she tries to escape.

He pulls her back, his half-lidded eyes gleaming with a lazy amusement — but there is something else there, a contained desire, a game he seems to want to press further.

"I'm just being honest, my goddess."

And the way he says it, with that low, loaded tone, makes her doubt she will manage to escape this conversation anytime soon. Her cheeks turn red and her hands tremble as he makes a little pout and pulls her by the hands toward the spacious air mattress covered in cushions. The arrangement of the cushions makes them look like fluffy clouds in the sky, and the view is breathtaking. Everything is almost too perfect. Suguru lies on his side and begins to trace along her waist with his cold fingers.

"What part of your book are you on?"

"You want to talk about that now? That was the subject of extreme urgency?" He knows that tone of hers is only playful — he knows she does not get upset with him easily, and even if she did, what could he do when all he wanted was her company? "I'm at the part where you leave my heart and almost kill me. I think you remember that part."

"I remember it very well."

Suguru slides his hand under her jacket and caresses her back, gently pulling her closer. They snuggle together, feeling each other's warmth, and for a moment Suguru is not as nervous about what is going to happen between them. His fingers travel up and down her back, feeling the texture of her skin and how she shivers with small touches.

"I love the drama, you know... you look so beautiful after you leave my heart and watch me bleed gold... it's extraordinary."

"You are always so..."

"Expressive?"

"I was going to say melancholic. I can't keep up with your thoughts — I can't even imagine what goes on inside your head." His index finger touches her forehead. "Maybe there's a lot there that even you don't know... But what do I do to save you in the book?"

"You don't save me, you just... love me forever."

"But that I already do."

"And I am extremely grateful for it. Few people put up with me the way you do — you deserve a gold medal."

"I don't want a medal. I want... only you." He murmurs and leans forward slightly to better see her face.

"How is your work going? I don't want to keep talking about how raw and agonizing my book is while ruining our beautiful dawn."

"The same as always — exorcising and absorbing curses is not something very pretty to see or very interesting to recount."

He says this with a casual tone, but she knows it is not that simple. Suguru never talks much about what he does — not because he wants to hide it from her, but because some things are difficult to put into words. She observes the way his gaze drifts for a moment, how his expression shifts subtly, as if an invisible weight settles on his shoulders.

"You never find it interesting to talk about your work," she says, tilting her head slightly to study him better. "But I would like to understand it a little more. To understand you."

Suguru lets out a low sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again. There is a restrained gleam there — somewhere between exhaustion and acceptance.

"There is not much to understand," he answers, sliding his fingers along her arm in an absent caress. "It is always the same thing... curses, pain, a cycle that repeats itself. Nothing beautiful, nothing memorable."

She feels his hesitation and touches his hand softly, squeezing gently. "But you keep doing it, even so."

"Because it needs to be done." He gives a small smile, but his eyes do not follow the gesture. "Because if I don't, who will?"

There is a hidden melancholy in those words — something he does not voice, but that she feels like a whisper between the lines of what is left unsaid. She does not answer right away. Instead, she slides her fingers across his face, tracing his jaw until she rests her hand on his cheek. "And when all of this becomes too heavy?"

Suguru closes his eyes for a moment, as if absorbing her touch. "Then I can only hope you are still here to remind me why I keep going."

She smiles faintly — a smile weighted with something deeper. "I always will be."

He opens his eyes and finds hers — and in that instant, however fleeting, something inside him seems to calm.

"Your work is complicated, but I want you to know that I love you. I will hold you when you fall, I will kiss your tears when you cry helplessly, and I will always be by your side, supporting you."

Suguru exhales softly, closing his eyes for a moment as he absorbs her words. There is something tender in the way he relaxes against her, as if the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders lightens a little upon hearing her promise.

"You always say the right things," he murmurs, his fingers still tracing patterns on her skin. "Even when there is no easy answer to them."

She slides her hands across his chest, feeling the texture of his jacket's fabric and the subtle warmth of his body underneath. "You don't need to answer anything. I just want you to know you are not alone."

He laughs quietly, a sound that carries as much affection as it does exhaustion. "Sometimes I forget that."

"Then I will remind you as many times as it takes." She lifts her face to look him directly in the eyes. "You don't have to carry everything on your own, Suguru."

For a moment, he simply watches her, as if trying to fully believe her words. As if he wants to hold onto them tightly and keep them from dissolving into the harsh reality he knows so well.

"If I fall apart, will you really be here to put the pieces back together?" he asks, his voice low, almost hesitant.

She does not waver. "Always."

His gaze darkens with something she cannot name — perhaps vulnerability, perhaps hope. Perhaps a mixture of both, wrapped in the love he feels for her and the constant fear of losing everything he still has left. Suguru slides one hand to her nape and draws her face closer to his, his lips hovering near her cheek. "Then don't let me forget."

"I won't," she promises firmly, and he kisses her cheek with force.

As the sun begins to rise on the horizon, the colors of the sky slowly transform, blending soft shades of pink, orange, and gold. The night dissolves into light, casting long shadows across the rooftop, painting the world with an ethereal glow. But as beautiful as the sky may be, Suguru beside her is even more beautiful.

There is something about him that makes her heart clench — perhaps the way his gaze wanders beyond the horizon, caught in thoughts she cannot reach. Or perhaps it is the subtle tension in the line of his jaw, the restlessness hidden in the way he breathes, as if he is trying to keep something contained inside himself.

The impulse comes before the thought. She raises one hand and holds his face, her fingers tracing its strong and familiar contour, and she leans in, capturing his lips in a deep kiss.

He takes a second to react.

But then he responds.

His hair slides between her fingers, silky, warm beneath her touch, and his lips are so soft that kissing him becomes something almost divine — as if her every movement was made to exist only there, only with him. Suguru kisses her with an urgent, desperate fervor, and for a moment, the weight of whatever is troubling him seems to disappear.

Then she feels it.

His trembling touch against her thigh.

It should not be like this. Suguru never trembles. He always holds her firmly, always knows exactly what he wants and how to take it. But now, the hesitation in his touch ties a knot in her chest.

Something is wrong.

Her heart beats fast, her mind spinning through possibilities — did she say something that hurt him? Did she do something without realizing? Why is he like this?

She does not know how to help him, but she knows what she can do right now.

Without hesitation, she takes his wrist and guides it, bringing his warm palm to her breast. She presses it firmly against herself, wanting him to feel, to concentrate on something beyond the thoughts that plague him. To focus on her.

His eyes widen for an instant before squeezing shut, and a sigh escapes his mouth, drawn out and heavy.

Suguru lays her on her back across the cushions scattered over the rooftop, his body fitting over hers as if it belongs there. By instinct, she opens her legs wide, accommodating him, receiving him, trying to make him feel safe — as if the space between her thighs could shelter him from whatever troubles him.

His forehead rests against hers, and he stays like that for a moment, breathing deeply, his fingers pressing her waist hard enough to leave marks.

"What is it?" Her voice comes out soft, but weighted with concern.

He does not answer right away. He simply breathes against her skin, his fingertips drifting absentmindedly along the side of her body, as if he needs that contact to stay there, present.

The silence hangs between them.

And then, finally, he whispers:

"We need to talk."

She blinks a few times, trying to grasp the gravity of those words. The weight in Suguru's voice is something she rarely sees in him — a raw, unguarded vulnerability. Her heart tightens in her chest, and she feels his breathing become unsteady against her skin.

"Did something happen?"

He keeps his forehead pressed to hers, eyes closed as if fighting against something internal, something that has been wearing him down for a long time. She slides her hands slowly along his back, tracing every curve of the tense muscles beneath his clothes.

"I never thought I would be loved — that I would find someone who truly loves me."

Her mouth opens to speak, but Suguru presses his index finger against it and holds it there — he does not want her to talk, he cannot listen to her whole speech about how much she loves him and how she will always be by his side, because if he hears it he might fall apart entirely. She feels the weight of that confession and what it truly means — it is not just about not feeling loved, it is about never having believed he could be.

Tears drop onto her face and Suguru bites his lip, holding back a weak, broken sob.

"I had to talk to my family about you and about us moving in together — you know that, of course, you were there when I explained every detail and promised I would not do anything wrong, that I would never change. My family took a long time to come around, but today they even understand this rebellious side of me a little... So I hired someone to build this house with everything you have ever told me over the years we have known each other. Even the organic garden — which came up in a random conversation we had a long time ago. Every detail of the decoration being exactly the way you always dreamed... I pay attention to everything you tell me and everything you do... I do everything for you — every step I take, I think of you, because I love you and you are my secret refuge, my temple, my home. I don't care so much about this perfect house, because it is not what makes me come back and feel at ease — it is you, Amaterasu, that makes me come back. It will always be you."

Her body goes into a state of shock when Suguru kisses her lips softly and lowers his hand carefully to her belly, caressing it before getting on his knees between her legs to look into her eyes. And it is then that she begins to cry — her heart feels so small inside her chest, and she thinks she will never be able to withstand the size of Suguru's love for her.

"I am completely in love with you, Amaterasu — I always show my love in some way, and I hope I have been clear enough to have won your heart. I want to have children only with you, I want to grow old by your side and fall in love every day with your soul. I want you to be my sun and shine only for me every morning, because a life without you illuminating and guiding me is worth nothing to me. Make me your home, love me back the way I love you."

The weight of his every word is immense, heavy with meaning, and her heart beats hard inside her chest as if it might leave at any moment. Suguru has always known how to move her, how to awaken deep feelings, but now, in this moment, his words are not just a declaration of love — they are a plea. A plea that changes everything.

"Suguru..."

The heart-shaped ring, with a pink quartz inside it, gleams softly in the light, reflecting the emotion in the air. The perfect ring, as if it had been made only for her, to seal everything he is saying, everything he is to her.

"My family is going to kill me — I was not supposed to do this in such a non-traditional way, but I cannot wait any longer. We can do it the right way afterward..." She holds her breath as she hears him. "I don't want you to only be my goddess, I want you to be my wife... Will you marry me, Amaterasu?"

Her lips tremble, and she feels the tears rise once more, her entire body overtaken by an overwhelming emotion. She looks at him, trying to find some hesitation, some sign of doubt — but there is none. Suguru is there, surrendered, vulnerable, waiting for her.

The sound of her crying leaving her lips makes him cry even more before her. He looks small and fragile; she looks utterly destroyed.

"Marry me." He repeats — but this time it is a statement, not a question. As if he already knows that her soul belongs to his just as his belongs to hers. As if there is no other path, no other destiny. Only the two of them. Always the two of them.

"Yes."

Suguru slides the ring onto her finger and kisses her hand delicately. The kiss he places on her lips shortly after is tender, almost paradise. Pain and love mix in her chest in a way that frightens her. She has always loved him, always given herself without hesitation, but she had never felt the weight of his love like this — so absolute, so overwhelming.

She loves him. She loves him and she knows those words are not enough to express the sensation her soul experiences. Nothing will be able to explain or convey the desire to be with him one hundred percent of her day in bed — because his hair looks like a bird's nest in the morning, and how Suguru's sleepy face is so endearing that kissing his cheeks becomes a duty; or when he looks into her eyes with all the tenderness in the world and says he made her favorite dish because she seems stressed; perhaps she might even know how to describe the sensation she feels when he holds her cheeks in his soft hands and kisses her calmly, savoring her mouth. But no word will come close to expressing her full feeling for when Suguru held her in his strong arms for the first time — because her body in that specific moment could not process what was happening, let alone process that her heart already belonged to him even before Suguru was aware of that fact. Words making no sense in her head because even when, with every letter her voice can muster, said aloud in full: "I love you" — it is not enough.