#reader (you)

You vigorously towel-dried your hair, hanging your head forward between your knees. Your (h/l) hanging down gives you better access to roots that would otherwise be hidden. Scrunching repeatedly until you were satisfied that you got the excess water. Your motions were halted by a shattering sound on the tiles. Pulling yourself upright you poked your head round the doorway searching for the source of the sound. Spotting Kix back swaying side to side, he took an unsteady step backward, his arms flailing out before shaking his head sharply and clumsy clutching the side of the counter as he struggled to hold himself up.

You knew something big had occurred upon the 501st latest mission on Umbara. The first thing you noticed was their behaviour; they were quieter than normal, none were so eager to celebrate what you told was a successful mission. It wasn't difficult to notice who hadn’t returned home nor understand that something had changed your boys in some way that wasn't for the best. 

Rex and Fives along with a few others you barely saw on the first day when they returned. In and out of meetings, debriefs, and reports. When the evening came and they returned for much-needed rest, they offered a wave or quiet goodnight before disappearing quickly as they came but in that passing greeting, you saw their facades crack and crumble with every step they took to their rooms, their eyes filling with pain and guilt.

In the night you were awoken to a quiet heated discussion which slowly increased in volume. You were about to get up and intervene only for a new voice to join in and silenced the argument. With the sound of retreating footsteps, the barrack returned to its stillness.

When you awoke again it was of your body's own choice. Stretching as you made your way into the common room. A quick survey of the room you noticed that the others had already gone for the day, the only ones to remain behind was Kix who was standing in front of the kitchenette. His back hunched as he stared at the cupboard in front of him as Rex stood close, speaking in a quiet tone. Kix gave no movement that he acknowledged his Captain presence. 

Once Rex clocked you standing in the room, a small smile graced his lips and moved away from Kix. “(Y/N)” he greeted you. You give him a mid-yawn “Mornin” in return. “I have a job for you, make sure Kix here” he gestured with a thumb back towards the clone “Is not doing any work and gets some rest if you can, he does not leave the barracks. Understood?” you gave a small nod of agreement. “Great, I’ll be back later. Kix, get some sleep” you felt his tone bordering on that of authoritative order. But before you could ask questions he was out the door and down the hall, with the door hissing shut. 

You turned to stare at Kix “What is that all about?” you ask confused. If he noticed you talking he didn’t show it. Before you could ask if he was alright he just shook his head and harshly muttered out “I need some time alone” before waving his hand as a dismissal. 

“Righttttt then, I’ll be in the ‘fresher. Why don’t you lie down for a bit?” you offered following Rex’s command about sleep, before sliding into the refresher. You debated for a second before sticking your head out the door “and don’t go anywhere” you told him earnestly, your eyes lingered on his back as he ignored you. A small sigh escaped you before showered. 

So here you were, watching the clone as he fought with all his might to remain upright and conscious. You had quietly approached him and now was standing only a few steps behind him. Waiting to see if Kix would remove himself and sit down or if his legs would give way and he crumpled to the floor. It wasn't long before his body decided on the latter. With his hands failing to keep his grasp on the edge of the counter, he leaned back so far with the support of his arms gone and his knees quickly buckled. You swiftly closed the gap between you. His weight was far heavy than you prepared yourself for taking you down with him but unfortunately, you cushioned his fall.

“Kix? You okay?” you groaned out. The floor greeted your ass with a hard slap. He grumbled to himself, rubbing his head. He crawled to hands and knees muttering as he went. You watched as he slowly pulled himself up using the counter. He acted like he didn't even register that you were there nor did he thank you. 

“I’m okay, I'm okay” you could hear his reassuring chant to himself as you rose to stand yourself. “Kix '' you called him. His own reassuring tone turned demanding as he continued to chant. His hands began clawing at his eyes pulling them open. “Kix!” grabbing his shoulders you shook him until his eyes locked onto you and had his attention. “Are you okay?” you asked softly. You pulled his hands down from his face. His eyes were wide and almost bloodshot. The bags under his eyes were clear as day. “Holy sh- Kix when was the last time you slept?” your tone demanding.

“I dunno” he looked to the ground in confusion shaking his head. “When we got back to the ship?” he asked you.  The ship?.  You searched through your memory trying to pinpoint when you got the transmission from Rex stating they were on the way back. 

Your brows furrowed as your mouth hung open “That was four rotations ago!” you cried in disbelief. “Sleep now!” placing your hands back onto his shoulders you twisted him towards the door of his room with his back facing your chest you began to gently push him with your body to guide him to his bed. Only for him to lock his legs and refused to budge. “No I can't i-i-i I’m fine really” he pleaded, trying to turn back round to face you.

“Fine? Fine? You can barely stand up! Sleep now, or I’m going to knock your ass out!” you began to push more forcefully, despite being severely sleep-deprived and uncoordinated he managed to stand his ground with only one foot advancing forward. 

“I can't, please don't make me” dropping to his knees in front of you. Taking a deep breath you stopped and let him turn around to face you. You noted his usual bright shiny eyes are now dull and glassy. You reached down to cup the side of his face, your heartfelt heavy as he leaned into your touch. His breath shook with each breath. Then he grabbed at your shirt with his large hands fisting the light fabric as he rested his forehead against your abdomen. Staring down at his broken form you froze. Unable to move as his shoulders began to slowly shake. Placing your hands gently over his you began to wiggle your fingers in between his, encouraging him to loosen his grip. You gave small tugs signaling him to stand which he reluctantly followed. His eyes almost closed as you watched as the tears ran down his cheeks. Pulling on his hands you led him towards the couch and this time he gave no resistance. 

You sink into your seat without a word. Kix followed a pursuit. “Kix, sweetie, talk to me” you whispered, you twisted to face him whilst he sat forward, his elbows resting on his thighs, his head cradled in his hands.

He took a deep breath “He betrayed us there was so much death, I-I couldn't save them” his voice ragged. He tried to look at you only to change his mind in the last second instead of opting to place his arms around himself. You couldn't figure if he was trying to make himself smaller or give himself some form of comfort you settled on both. “I left them to die (y/n)” with that he began to sob clutching his own body harder as he shook. 

“Every time I close my eyes I see them”

You were out of your comfort zone never before have you seen a clone breakdown like this let alone Kix, you didn't know what to say how could you make the pain go away? Was there anything to say? If he felt like this and the others would have surely have said anything similar to what you could think of now.

You decided on action over words for the moment. You grabbed his hand, shuffling further back so you were cradled by the corner section of the couch you tugged him forward. He reached for you similar to how a child would reach for its mother in the need of comfort. You guided his head to rest on your chest. You stroked his shaven head with one hand while the other ran up and down the top of his back. Feeling his arms snake against your sides and holding tightly made you want to cry. 

“Kix, I have no doubt that words right now no matter how many times you hear them may not help but I know this. You tried your damndest to save your men and I have no doubt to the point where you needed to be saved because you that selfless, you would throw yourself between the wounded and any incoming blaster bolt in order to protect them. So I don't believe at any given moment you left them to die” you held him tighter and left a kiss at the top of his head before returning to silence. 

He continued to weep in your arms, you felt the tears through your top. You tried looking up at the ceiling, you felt the tingle in your eyes as you took a quiet breath in, refusing to let your own tears fall. You placed your focus on the movement of your hands. Changing between light strokes to small circles, anything to keep you both distracted.

Within what felt like a few minutes, you heard Kix breathing steady out and his shoulder no longer shook nor did any more tears fall. Letting a small smile grace your lips. Staring at his form you debated whether or not to read the report of this mission once it was viewable. A part of you wanted to understand better what happened but another part of you couldn't bear being lost in the thoughts that would come in the learning of the mission. 

You were unsure on how time had passed sitting there on the couch, you had a feeling it was bordering on a good few hours for your legs had long since gone numb and you felt the approach of a headache no doubt due to lack of water luckily though that also meant you didn't need the toilet. You couldn’t imagine trying to hold that need back.

You daren’t move though. The mere thought of disturbing his rest appalled you and you had determined you would wait for the others and they could fetch what you needed. Kix’s sleep seemed content, there was the occasional moan or turn of his head which subsided once you returned stroking his head. Often he would hold you tighter or nuzzle you which made a light blush tint your cheeks. Happy that you could be a source of comfort in times such as these.

When the others returned they were quick to silence their loud chattering with a sharp glare and short shush from you. Each was either confused or making an interesting facial expression on your position on the couch. Kix lay between your legs, you had needed to move them to either side as this was the only way they were not being crushed by his body weight. The feeling you were grateful had returned

“Someone please get me a glass of water” you whispered in desperation. A few of them chuckled at your request “How long have you been like this?” Rex asked with a  raise of an eyebrow and lifted his arm to gesture at you “No clue, maybe an hour after you left?” Rex just stared at you unmoving “You been there for eight hours?” you looked at him and the others in disbelief however Fives suddenly sprung into action and got you a large glass of water. 

You so badly wanted to gulp down the fresh cold water but opted to slowly slip it in case it suddenly gave you the urge to pee. It wasn't long till a platter of fruit was handed to you to munch on. With the first yellow berry you placed in your mouth your hunger roared to life. You left no time and devoured what was on your plate. 

“You should move, we can take him back to his bed” Fives spoke from the far end of the couch and as if Kix heard the comment he tugged you even tighter daring you to move. You just gave Fives a shake of your head. “Yeah just have a feeling that ain’t happening” you spent a couple of hours chatting with the small group. You found they were desperate to talk about anything that wasn’t the mission and you didn’t mind. Soon enough they offered once more to take him but again you refused. Though you did ask for a blanket and a pillow in order to sleep and a painkiller to remove the headache. 

Rex draped the large blanket over your both and helped shove the pillow beneath your head as you shimmied down the couch the best you could. With Kix still directly on top of you, you bid the others goodnight and were surprised you fell to sleep with ease. 

When the next morning came you awoke with the smell of cooked food surrounding you. Taking note that the others were up and trying to make themselves a space on the couch. 

“Good morning” Jesse nodded his head to you as he took a sip from his mug. “How long have I been asleep?” you groggily asked, rubbing the reminder of sleep out of your eye. “You? Nine hours'' Tup answered flicking eyes up from his holopad. “Nine hours?” you asked yourself then looked down at your sleeping partner “How has he not moved an inch?” you asked no one in particular. 

“He been asleep for almost twenty hours (y/n) and while I may not be the resident medic, I do believe you should get up and move around as you haven't eaten, drank, or moved enough for anyone liking” Rex appeared at your side and you had to begrudgingly agree with him. 

You gently shook Kix awake, it took more effort than you would have guessed as you shook harder “Kix wakey wakey” you sang to him, and with that, he began to stir. As he slowly began to wake up. You held your hands out of the way as he placed his hands on either side of you in order to push himself up. With the weight free from your body you felt lighter as if your organs could once again move back to where they belong no longer crushed. 

You groaned as you slowly sat up noting your back was stiff and sore and your tailbone ached. “Good evening” Kix sleepily greeted everyone as he sat next to you. “Sorry (y/n) I must have just closed my eyes for a second” with that Fives burst into a fit of laughter, the others gave a chuckle as they watched him. 

“Good evening? Try Good morning” Fives hollered out. Kix contorted into confusion before Rex sat down on the other side of you with a tea in hand holding it out for you to take. “I don't understand?” Kix looked at you then Rex then back at you. You gave a small smile before filling him in “You been asleep for about twenty hours sweetie” 

“No that can't be right I only closed my eyes for a second '' he tried to explain himself and everyone as he tried to piece together how he was missing all that time. You leaned forward hearing your vertebrae crack as the release of tension, rolling your shoulders you stood with a groan feeling your body reluctant to move. With each step, another of your joints clicked and cracked. 

“Damn Kix you’ve almost broken her,” Fives said, watching you with a concerned look across his face. “What?” he spun to stare at Rex demanding answers “You basically been asleep on her the entire time wouldn't let her go” he chuckled he sipped his caf. Kix looked bewildered as he looked at everyone. 

“Right I'm going to shower then I'm going to drink enough water that this planet will have nothing left,” You told everyone, with a raise of your mug in the gesture of goodbye you slipped into the refresher.