#reactiveness

He's even soooo reactive as opposed to proactive, that sometimes he's even submissive. And he's OK with it, or too used to it, he feels somewhat comfortable taking that sub role, whether it is with Donna so she gets off his back, or with Michael, with EMP's EC, or with Claire, etc, he becomes a pushover or a bomb💣, no balance. But that's always as a reaction, it's not proactive, he reacts to stimuli in those 2 different ways as a default. He sometimes opposes it with all his might, in a very Carmy way, and becomes defensive, even aggressive:

or he succumbs to it, which on the outside can even look like he's cooperating with it, but he's not, he's reacting in a submissive way, to avoid the alternative, which he deems "more inconvenient" at the time (defense mechanism), so he rather takes the submissive role in those cases.

This, in his particular case, leads to bottled-up aggression and pain that come out in the most destructive and unhealthy ways, such as panic attacks, sleepwalking, workaholism, chain-smoking, anger fits in other situations that don't necessarily call for that, which he overreacts to, etc.

All of this is a result of his upbringing and the fact that his caretaker and father figure were addicts, ofc. I have already mentioned that a long time ago, but in his case, it always bears repeating because it is the cause of his C-PTSD, which is basically what frames all of the aforementioned behaviors and dysfunctional habits. (I lightly touched this subject in one of my fics too). Not that he doesn't have other co-diagnoses that are part of his overall psychological makeup and also have an impact on his life, granted, but C-PTSD is by far the most comprehensive.

If you have time to read his monologue, I strongly suggest you do, JAW's acting is UNBELIEVABLE but reading it and re-reading it gives it a whole new dimension. Storer is my spirit animal. He wrote an ode to PTSD and in Carmy's case, it's the C subtype because it was not triggered by just one event, but by repetitive trauma. Here it is:

My point is: Of course, he needs to address all of that, but even if he did, since the reactiveness is deeply rooted in him now, it's part of his very own personality, not just an acquired habit, he won't be able to change that, he will have to learn to cope and work with it, so it doesn't limit him anymore. We can all get treatment or change, but no one changes personalities. Ever.

He will have to learn to deal with it in healthier and more adaptative ways. There are multiple ways to do that and go about it, therapy is just one of them, but not the only one. The great news is that it can definitely be done if there's a will, but it's important to point out that it will not disappear, as that reactiveness is in his nature at this point. Because it started in his formative years, very early childhood, etc. It will be expressed differently, he will have more control over it, and it may shift its form to a point where he could even use it as one of his strengths, but it will never magically or clinically go away. Full stop. It's important to have realistic expectations to avoid unnecessary frustration and to be happier with a result that even exceeds our expectations if it eventually comes to it. Like I wish it did for Carmy, by the end of the series.

Now, let's call it what it is: He will never be the "proactive Carmy", functional hero, fully together male-lead that some envision he becomes for Syd and because of her.

That's not in his nature.

Realistically speaking, not to mention Storer-friendly speaking, he can improve, sure! And he will and I'm positive about that, as I mentioned here and here, she will have a crucial role in that evolution because Sydney is the plot twist, he is the plot. But Carmy will not become someone else.

He is and will always be Carmen Anthony Berzatto, The Bear, with all the light and shadow aspects that entails.

And quite frankly, I love that, chefs because we are all a work in progress, just like him.

❤️‍🔥