#reachingforyou

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Gerard remembers his deceased husband and is overcome with emotions.

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“You know… I always try to figure out vhy that one day vas different… Did I say something? Did you get in a fight vith someone at vork? Vhat happened that vas so horrible that you-” Gerard felt himself choke up staring at the fading photograph framed on the wall of his apartment. “Vhat could I have done better?”

The large wolf wrapped his paws around himself and tried to hold back his tears. “It took time and all of our friends and family to help me understand that your death vasn’t my fault. How could it be? But there are days vhere I still blame myself. If only I had hugged you tighter or kissed you longer... “ Gerard said aloud. He knew no one would understand what he was rambling about but it felt good to let the words flow out of him instead of keeping them bottled up.

“I’ll never know what exactly happened or if you overdosed on accident… Hell I don’t even know vhere you got the medicine-” The wolf felt more tears stream down his face, he couldn’t hold them back. Years of healing and the large wolf would still cry thinking about Michael, his husband. It made Gerard feel weak. It made him feel broken. It made him feel alone.

A soft paw wrapped around his waist. Between tears Gerard looked down to see his boyfriend with a concerned look on his face. The wolf tried to smile but only felt more tears stream down his face. Understanding what Gerard couldn’t say Nick wrapped his partner in a tight embrace. The fox held on tight as Gerard let his tears run free.

After some time Gerard broke the embrace and wiped away the remaining tears. “I’m sorry, you must hate hearing about Michael so much… And all the tears that come vith it.” The wolf gave Nick an apologetic smile.

“Not at all Marshmallow. Hell how much have you heard me talk and cry about Judy?” The fox smiled at his boyfriend.

“A lot actually…” Gerard teased. “But she is an amazing mammal.”

“You bet she is… A Michael sounds like an amazing mammal too. I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet him.” Nick pulled the tan wolf into a hug. “Do you think we would have gotten along? Me and Michael I mean?”

Gerard laughed as he wrapped the red fox in a hug. “Oh no you two vould have fought non-stop! He vas more of a soft spoken mammal. It took him years to actually confess his feelings for me.” The tan wolf smiled. “Thank you for letting me ramble Nick.  It helps to get things off of my chest.”

“I can think of a few things to do with your chest…” The fox teased giving the tan wolf’s round stomach a rub.

“You naughty thing! Maybe later but for now I need cuddles and some movies.” Gerard smirked. Sure he enjoyed being intimate with Nick but sometimes there was more important things; like bad movies and snacks while laughing. There would always be days where the wolf would remember his husband and hurt, but knowing that Nick wasn’t scared of the bad days helped more than Gerard could ever express.

“I think we can arrange that.” The fox took his boyfriend’s paw and the pair made their way to the couch.

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Hey everybody!!!  So this isn't the last chapter but an extra part of the story I had written awhile ago and wanted to share with you. Last chapter will be out soonish as I am now getting used to my new job and solved a computer issue. Thank you all for hanging with me on this!