#re-draft

remember that time i wrote a poem and it scared the shit out of me because of all the feelings and then i kept coming back to it and eventually it got published and i'm gonna get interviewed about it for the newspaper

he asked if it was okay to give my details to my local newspaper so that they could get a bit of publicity for re-draft

looks like i'm gonna be in the paper

Sometimes

.

I want to sit with you

and try to believe.

I want to find a patch of mud

and press my handprints into your back.

I want to feel your eyes on my face

as I stand in the wind.

 .

I want you to write a story

with beautiful words and inky fingerprints

and tap the words across my ribcage

until I am nothing but marble.

I want to spend hours

folding paper into cranes and planes

so that we can forget

the things that we're scared to remember.

 .

I want to grow wings

and pull you up through the trees

where we can stay in the sky

and feel the breeze on our toes

while we dream...

 .

And the world carries on

as we hide from our feelings.

 .

I want to lie with you in a pile of blankets

and wish upon the stars.

I want you to sit next to me

and weave your fingers through mine.

I want to drink coffee and play cards

in the morning

and breathe in the cool night air as the sun

goes to sleep.

 .

I want you to know

that I have a smile just for you

and that it never turns out the way

I imagine it could be.

.

so this is the poem that's getting published in re-draft this year. it's probably the one i edited the most, and the most terrifying. it was quite hard for me to write, because of the person it was about, and because i was at hui* at the time. and i guess most of you probably haven't experienced anything like it before, but hui is wonderful. and emotional. so anyway there i was in the middle of a rather emotionally charged writing workshop and with all of these feelings inside of me that were kind of good but mostly terrifying because i hadn't felt that way since sarah and oh god was i a wreckage after her. i had to get the feelings out somehow. and so i wrote the poem. and then over the months i kept coming back to it and adding new bits and changing it and reading it over and over and over and then i entered it into re-draft and i won. so now i'm getting published again.

.