#rcovery

You know.. I’ve spent the past few weeks trying to grasp at every suggestion thrown at me, listening to everyone who ha a little more experience than I do, trying to let go of old belief systems and literally sobbing because I want to use so bad and I know I don’t actually want to.

I still find myself battling with the idea of gaining weight. I STILL find myself indulging in ideas of using other drugs, of finding ways to still alter my reality just to get by. 

I am actually scared.Right now is one of those moments I feel weak.

I just felt like sharing this moment.

I am overwhelmed. I just want to run and forget that I had learned anything this time and go back to how things were. Yeah it was hard, and I lost so much, but this process of recovery is painful as fuck and tonight I just don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

I am trying, hopefully tomorrow will be a little better. Some service work then getting my sixty days.

When a child is affected by a substance abuse disorder, parents and guardians often blame themselves and feel powerless to help. Rather, teen drug abuse begins as rebellion or as a coping mechanism, the development of addiction is no one’s fault: it is a disease with a variety of potential triggers. Understanding that it is not your fault, but there are ways to help is instrumental in helping guide your teen toward a brighter future.

Concern can quickly morph into frustration and misplaced anger because addiction has no simple solution. When a teen is on the path of recovery, the entire family must walk that path, too.

First I'll acknowledge Our trust has been broken A successful recovery I pray for us at night Bless me with a second chance Never thought I'd see your face again Learned a lot through trial and error I try to make it right, make it right Make it right, make it right It's time to do you right I'm missing your good intentions I'm missing you by my distance Hope you did the same I know that I caused a problem I know that I left you livid, pushed you far away Learned it, don't pay to lie 'Cause I don't wanna see you cry Sayin' nothin' gets you nowhere fast I'mma hold it back inside Well now that I'm back around you Nothing else really matters Hope you feel the same First I'll acknowledge Our trust has been broken A successful recovery I pray for us at night Bless me with a second chance Never thought I'd see your face again Learned a lot through trial and error I try to make it right, make it right Make it right, make it right It's time to do you right I'm going thorugh all the emotions Tryin' to find a reason Why we ended that way Nothing in life is perfect When you're changing like the seasons That's what they used to say If it's gonna sleep alone at night I don't wanna close my eyes Wanna give you all I have to give I'm not holding back this time Now that I'm back around you Nothing around me matters Hope you feel the same First I'll acknowledge Our trust has been broken A successful recovery I pray for us at night Bless me with a second chance Never thought I'd see your face again Learned a lot through trial and error I try to make it right, make it right Make it right, make it right It's time to do you right Ooh know I'mma do you right Ooh know I'mma do you right I'mm do you right Ooh know I'mma do you right