#rbbs

Claro! Mapi você quer dizer a Maria Paula, certo? Espero ter entendido certo e que goste! ♥

I spent the whole of my youth dreaming about Ferraris. The power. The speed. The sound. They’re mesmerizing. When you go through a tunnel in a Ferrari, you are required by law to downshift two gears, get the engine on the boil, and stomp on the gas. It’s an aural sensation with few equals.

The Tech Titan has a Ferrari. Two actually. They’re both convertibles, and convertible Ferraris give the best tunnel! With no alcantara-lined metal roof between your ears and the walls of the tunnel, there’s nothing to deaden the sound. It sounds like a chainsaw having an orgasm.

The Tech Titan and I are driving up to Sausalito today for some sailing. We’re in his Tesla Model S. Thankfully, today, I’m in the front passenger seat. We’re heading up the hill toward the Robin Williams Tunnel, and to be honest, it’s a bit disappointing. The Model S has more horsepower than both of his Ferraris combined (no shit), but there’s no exhaust noise. In fact, there’s no exhaust at all.

As we enter the tunnel I want to say “hit the gas!” … but there’s no gas either. In a Tesla, if you floor it in a tunnel, you just exit the tunnel like a speeding bullet exiting the barrel of a gun. There’s no fanfare and whatever you hit will likely be fatal.

So I keep my mouth shut.

The Tech Titan: Brotherman, let’s discuss this boat situation.

Me: Speak on o’ maestro of the meatball.

The Tech Titan: Summer is right around the corner. We’ve got a short few months to get tuned up and ready for the Rolex Big Boat Series. You want to enter, yes?

Me: Yes. Yes indeed.

The Tech Titan: So, I propose we team up and enter your boat, not mine.

Me: Because?

The Tech Titan: Because my boat is big, and comfortable, and majestic, but unless we strip out the interior it’s not going to be very fast. Your boat is small and fast, and with just the teeny tiniest bit of effort we can convert it to be a competitive racer. Plus, we can race in class with your boat, but handicap only with mine.

Let me decode what The Tech Titan is saying for you.

His boat is a Nautor’s Swan. It’s a 48 foot luxury yacht with three staterooms, a kitchen, dining area, etc. It is a truly ocean worthy vessel. If we wanted to sail to Hawaii for example, we could just load up with food and go. It’s got GPS, NAV, autopilot, a nice kitchen … everything. But the two tons of crap that makes his boat luxurious and seaworthy, also makes it slow. Well … not slow per se. But not fast enough to win a race.

My boat on the other hand is a J/70. It’s 23 feet long and is really intended for day sailing and specifically racing. You could sleep on it (I do actually), but it’s more like camping than yachting. So yeah, it makes sense to race my boat. That’s really what it’s designed for.

And, he makes a great point about class vs handicap. In class racing, all of the boats are identical. So the first one across the line wins. In handicap racing, there is a theoretical formula for each hull type that states how fast a crew can sail her in ideal conditions. The handicap formula is the best they can come up with to allow a group of people with a flotilla of different boats to race against each other in a somewhat meaningful way. You might cross the line first, but if they guy in 17th place sails an impeccable race in a slower rated hull, they win on handicap. It works, but it’s not ideal. Since there’s a strong class of identical J/70s, we should race the J/70.

Me: Just the two of us, or find a third for the race?

The Tech Titan: For sure, find a third sailor. But, I make one request. I’d like to skipper the boat.

Me: You want to skipper my boat?

The Tech Titan: Yes.

Me: Because??

The Tech Titan: Because you know I’m good at driving. Driving is easy. But you’re really good at trimming the main and the jib. So, if we want to win, I drive. You trim. We hire a pro to work the foredeck, call the ley lines and fly the spinnaker downwind.

Fuck. The Titan wants to win. I guess that’s why he’s rich.

The Tech Titan: Okay … one more thing to sweeten the deal for you.

Me: hmm?

The Tech Titan: Since we’re dedicating your ship to the racing, you can use my ship anytime for the casual sailing, even if I’m not around. You and Floody can take the girls sailing … if you ever meet a girl! Hahahaha!

va te faire foutre Ikea garçon

Me: Hardy har har har. Very funny. Need I remind you that I’m not the only single guy in this car. I think the last time you got laid was when you spent the night in line waiting for the first iPad.

The Tech Titan: I’ll admit, being the only guy in line with a sleeping bag was a genius move!

Me: That poor girl, she must have really been freezing!

The Tech Titan: Hahahaha. Hey … nerdy girls need love too.

Ain't that the damn truth …