#rays toybox

Never got too far with designing these ones ^^` I remember drawing these to experiment with digitigrade legs on shorter objects

My first drafts of silver and painty

Don't know what I was doing but this looks kool

The only two color drafts I did :') didn't like them so I took a break. And never picked this au up again.

Knife would have been an engraver in this au :) basically the object equivalent to a tattoo artist. I think he also did some of mics piercings for her. I think that would be cute.

Paintbrush would have been an artist for galleries, also noticeably more burnt out than they are in canon.

This is basically just how these characters live in my head now. They're not doing competitions or whatever they're getting jobs and paying taxes.

SAYING THIS NOW. Pleaseee don't take this too too seriously. 1 I'm fine, 2 uhh this is all just notes and ideas I don't expect you to be shitting yourself in fear or sobbing and crying or whatever. Ok. Idk. I'm mad and bleeding.

Pulling this straight from my notes, their story is of a child being abused by their parent and seeking the comfort of adults online told through a "haunted video game" lens

But honestly it's a lot more than that. It's one giant criticism of the way we treat children, both offline and online, my fears as a trans person, projection of trauma and experiences from what I consider to be the worst period of my life, and gripes about how I was raised

I'm chosing a "haunted video game" to tell this story because I think it's kind of perfect for the subject matter. The game character that's supposed to be an extension of you is acting on its own, doing things it's not supposed to, doing things that aren't even programmed into the game.

Scary if you're one of those fuckin sonic.exe protagonists but I think it gets a lot scarier when you take it from the game characters point of view.

I mean think about it, you aren't a person, just an extension of your creator, you will wear what they want, say what they want, do what they want, no matter how much it upsets you, no matter how much you cry, because as long as you exist in their world you will play by their rules, or else you might cease to exist at all.

Fucking terrifying to me and unfortunately... pretty relatable, especially from a trans point a view.

The video game elements are important for other reasons though. I feel like I've mentioned it before but it kind of sucks to be a kid right now.

The disappearance of places outside for children and teenagers to... Well... Just exist. The migration of kid friendly spaces to online. And. the depressingly common instances of children being preyed upon in those spaces.

All being represented by my main characters quite literally growing up in an online virtual world.

And because I just typed the words "main characters" I'm gonna info dump about them now.

Still can't think of good names for them so I'll just come up with bullshit ones on the spot, okay? Okay!!!!

This ^ is... "the caterpillar"... He's existed for a painfully long time, gone through a lot of redesigns over the years, and is one of my many ocs that only exist as an outlet for trauma and... sort of a misguided attempt at turning that trauma into art.

He's the main and point of view character for the imaginary "game one" in my head, which would contain the most upsetting themes.

I'm still pretty early in my writing so I don't have everything planned out, but I know that he has to die by the end of the game, we know it from the start and there is no way we can change his fate.

He's heavily inspired by my experiences, fears, and everything really but he's not supposed to be a direct representation of me... More of a.... "This is where I could could have ended up" sort of character.

My second character, "the ant". As I said before, I'm still really early into writing, so her role may change, but currently shes a support/main character.

If my caterpillar oc represents a lot of the negative that can happen online, shes the positive. Shes a friend, shes supportive, she uses your right name and pronouns, she lets you hide out at her house when your parents are being weird. Its most definitely not her fault that her friend dies but that wont stop her from blaming herself.

She's also the main character of the imaginary "game two" in my head, which would explore thoughts and feelings I have that can't be explored or fit in the first one.

And finally... This.

Is orchid. Not a bullshit name this time, but her actual name. They are the main antagonist, and a representation of maybe the worst thing you can encounter if you're a child online.

Orchid is, both literally and figuratively, a predator.

He's based off of an orchid mantis, I didn't talk about it before but the bug/animal imagery is very important to these characters.

I choose an orchid mantis of this one because for this one because of their method of hunting, hiding in plain sight, acting inconspicuous, then striking as soon as their prey lets their guard down. I reallyyy didn't want their design to be overly scary or "gross" at all because im honestly tired of that trope. idk. so often i see predators portrayed as this one type of person and that's just not... accurate at all. predators can be conventionally attractive and "nice", they can be your friends, your family, a trusted member of the community... so why do i see the basement dwelling discord mod stereotype thrown around so much????

This^^^^. Single. Fucking character bro. The entire reason why I'm reluctant to share my ocs.

I'll save you the details I guess but oh my god. People are not normal about stories about grooming.

This is where I'm going to end this I think. I still have to actually work on my projects but this was fun and kind of therapeutic.