#ravenyyyywrites

It's graduation season!

Contrary to the usual scenario during this time of the year, commencement exercises now happen virtually and gone are the days where we line up to do the most awaited march. While it may seem different now, graduations will always be a reason to celebrate. 

It's been over 5 years since I earned my degree in communication. Looking back, it still feels like anew. I could still remember how as a fresh grad, everything feels exciting. I was so ecstatic to meet the world - to visit places, earn my own money and be a yuppie in my chosen industry.

Lucky are those who were already certain of where they intend to be the moment they stepped out of the graduation rites. Myself, not included.

I started my working career as a Customer Solutions Officer under the giant telco, Smart Communications Inc. Here, I became part of the most advanced digital hub of the company where I serve as a front liner catering to the needs of walk-in subscribers. My job here was to retain our customers and deliver great customer experience.  Yep, totally not my line. I was also puzzled how I ended up here. Perhaps, it’s the pressure, “how come everybody else is already hitching on their first job?” My bad.

Frankly, I already knew how it's going to be a temporary job from the very start. But it was certainly good while it did last. I was coerced to face and serve clients of different kinds during my time here. More than that, I was trained to be more patient and compassionate towards strangers. It also taught me to practice compartmentalization to be able to function well. My first job paid really well that it allowed me to travel often and afford luxurious gadgets and alike. As a matter of fact, I could confidently say now that should I have stayed here and never left, I might now be ready to sustain my own family.

Hence, after spending over a year with the very draining mall shifts, holiday work and endless customer service, I've decided to cut my time off and quit.

My next job kicked off around Q4 of 2017. Another high-paying job, no more mall shifts and holiday duties. In this company, I've experienced living the real makati-corporate-slave-life. Long UV queues, horrible traffic etc. But this time around, I did not last longer than three months. My reasons were simple - I don't see myself growing in this kind of environment. And so, I left.

At this point, you must say that I'm privilege enough to just leave with no back-up plans. I was and I won't lie. I still felt too young to be making serious career decisions back then. It was 2018 and I was just a young and clueless 21 year old.

I've started having problems finding my next job. I became sick of attending job interviews and my heart felt really lost on where should I go. Being unsure of where I wanna be, I opened the idea of doing something I've long wanted to do - join theatre.

I remember hearing a mass that one particular Saturday night when my thoughts suddenly wandered far. I've always been a fan of the industry but I know so little about how it works. So with all the courage from my anxious heart, I took a leap of hope. I stumbled upon a musical theatre workshop offered by Repertory Philippines where I found myself enrolling very soon.

I gambled the remaining backpay of my two previous job to this workshop. Luckily, I was in good hands. Little by little, I became more aware of the industry and the possibilities. I met a handful of people who helped me understand this world I’m trying to fit in. Soon enough, another workshop from Atlantis Theatrical transpired and I saw myself enlisting again out of the littlest money left in my pocket.

To sustain myself, I've tried applying for work-from-home jobs. I've accepted writing gigs and some freelance jobs that would make money. Although I don't earn as much as a regular job, at least, it felt productive. However, It is important to acknowledge the contribution of my parents when I've come to follow my heart's desire. Without their assistance, I could not frankly sustain any of these quite decently.

Theatre then, became my home. I was truly at my happiest. It awakened my burning passion to be on stage. At this point, around three years after the tassel turn, I finally found the place where I wanna be. It took me that long, but I'm still glad I did.

Hence, it isn't really as easy as it looks. Joining around this age, getting myself a space in the industry is a challenge. Possible, but a really difficult one. Attending a handful of auditions as a neophyte didn't really become effective too soon. I've realized how I must be more well-equipped if I really discern to stay. I need more lessons and training that would help me in enhancing my skills and increasing my knowledge. After some time, I found another theatre program that would help me in this goal. University of the Philippines Diliman offers a Master of Arts in Theatre Arts.  

After coursing through the module with high hopes, I've mustered the courage to work on the requirements and prayed to get in. My claim was simple - if this is for me, it will be. A month after my submission, I received my acceptance letter.

And so, I became a student once again. I literally went far for my dreams. Being a south girl all my life, QC is definitely a stranger to me. I found myself scouting dorm in Katipunan ready to live independently! At this point, most of my college batch mates are probably either receiving career promotions, purchasing their first huge investments or simply starting their own family. 

Meanwhile, I've only started climbing the ladder of my dreams. But one thing's for sure, I was totally happy. I never felt the need to compare myself to anyone. We all have different timelines and I totally trust mine.

I immerse myself to more plays. I observe more people who made it. I feed my soul with anything but theatre hoping to collect inspiration from these. I make sure to make use of all my available time for the goal. I remember often reminding myself before that my stay at UP should serve me well - that I should maximize all the lesson I could get from every class, interaction or even normal conversation. True enough, my stay was worth the while.

During my first year in UP, everyday became a learning experience as I got to be more involved with the community. I've also realized how I've wanted to take on different tracks and explore promising potentials. Some of the classes gave me a preview of my desire for the academe so I could go as far as teaching skillful scholars with little to no access to mainstream theatre. A totally different story perhaps. Since then, I doubled my hard work to gain more opportunities.

In the pursuit of my dreams, I've become more independent. I learned more life hacks, became more interested in kitchen works, taught myself how to do my own show make-up and further enhanced all the skills I've got to be able to make it work.

Summer of 2019, I landed on a stage management internship with Atlantis Theatrical. My first professional theatre exposure that further ignited my burning love for this craft. I never went home empty-handed but with a pocket full of worthy learnings rather. I got to work with some of my most looked-up PH Theatre icons and each day is a different kind of ride. 

Soon after finishing this internship, I was immediately offered to do a  paid gig as an Assistant Stage Manager and the rest is history. This marked the start of my freelance gigs that revolved around on-site events. I get paid to do on-site coordination, logistic works and all the kinds. Along with this, I still continued attending VTRs, showing up on auditions and joining free workshops when I can. This year also kicked start my experience of performing on kiddie parties in character costumes every weekend through PWJ.  On the side, I sometimes win small acting gigs for short films and student prods. I still earn a little compare to my two previous jobs but with all the experience I have in my hands at this point, I'm definitely happier.

To be in theatre meant facing multiple rejections normally. And having to undergo e so much in a short span, showing up on audition already takes a huge ball of courage. I was truly blessed to get myself a tight but really strong circle of support system that helps me all the time when things start to get rough. The process, the tiring process. 

So it's not surprising that by end of 2019, I felt the need to rethink. After a year of endless auditions, finally, I got my first callback! But it was a very untimely season to get rejected again afterwards. The turn of things paved the way for me to rest a little. 

The pay is not going any better and I'm running out of energy to give. The passion  and hard work that I've been devoting won't solely pay my bills. Perhaps, it wasn't something I cannot simply shrug away.  Because of this, my grad school performance also got affected. This pushed me to pause. I had a quick realignment and reality check. How long will I allow myself to stay in uncertainty?

It is a pretty painful decision. But come Q1 of 2020, I found myself taking a leave on my grad school and applying for a stable corporate job again. After a long while, I came searching my closet for blazers and skirts again when for years, I filled it with nothing but black production clothes and rehearsal attires. I saw myself attending another set of job interview inside meeting rooms after a ton of casting calls and audition venues. 

Although, I was pretty sure it's for the best. After all, I convinced myself that it's only going to be a meaningful rest. Soon enough, I'll be back on and offstage when I can freely fund my dreams.

SMDC was my first huge corporate experience. Here, as a Marketing and Events Supervisor, I was tasked to oversee CSR projects execution around SMDC properties. With a background in Stage Management, it didn't become too difficult. My Customer Service experience also helped my job of connecting to a number of residents more handy.

During my stay with the company, I was tapped to be the official voice of the SMDC hotline. Not quite sure if it pushed through after I left but all I remember is the feeling of satisfaction to be at-least doing a little talent sharing alongside my marketing job.

Being back in a stable job that pays well, I got to save more and finally invest again. Small achievements led to another until I got the hang of it. Unfortunately, things turned sour between me and my immediate head causing me to leave the good company unexpectedly. A totally different story again but for what it's worth, I'm really glad it happened.

The pandemic hit the country and getting a job is now more difficult than it has ever been. After 8 exhausting months of working for this corporation, I've decided to rest for quite some time. two months to be exact. Until, my current job found me.

I now work as an Events Specialist at a local PR agency. With various background and a pretty diverse experience, I initially thought  that I may know enough of what I'll be doing. But being in this job hastily proved me wrong - there is so much more to discover!

For some coward reasons, I never dreamed of working for an agency back in college. But the way of things brought me here pushing me to believe that I am destined to do this. My current job focuses on conceptualizing online and offline events for different brands, client servicing, sourcing suppliers and everything in between. Which is, safe to say, demands a portion of all I've learned from all the jobs I've done. Could be exhausting most times but a validation of my versatility to which I enjoyed most. 

In a span of 5 years, my career trajectory came really far. From Retail, Corporate, Marketing, Freelancing, Grad School, Production and now Agency - who would've thought? Yet, I ain't even really where I desire to be. I couldn't also grasp the fact of how far my combined spontaneity and dreams have led me sometimes.  5 years after the tassel turn, one could expect a really huge win. But I'm sorry to break it - there isn't anything grand to reveal. Hence, I'm quite satisfied knowing that I continue to be a progressive student of life.  Checking on where I am now, it feels fair.  I may not be exactly where I wish to be, but I am who I've decided to be. I've paid so much price to be the woman I am now, thus, my most important investment.

I definitely know nothing of what the future holds. But I'm certain that we are exactly where we are meant to be. So if any reader gets to this point of my story, i hope you get to embrace the job that puts food on your table. It might not be that job yet but sooner, it'll all make sense.

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