#rather silly

Oh good, Aituan said, amazed, surprised, and relieved that he'd survived this far into the conversation. Baxia was scary, all right? There were masterless sabers less scary than her. Daughter of the dragon, one of the best-forged blades in the sect, and she'd been used to her full potential, too - basically the opposite of Aituan in every way shape or form, really. It's just, you know, my human's been leaking again and I hate it when that happens.

Nie Huaisang might have some faults as a human, Aituan would allow (mostly because Nie Huaisang would similarly allow, and even seemed a bit proud of), but he was an excellent master. Sure, he might not cultivate Aituan all that much - it was kind of amazing Aituan had a personality at all rather than being a lifeless hunk of metal - but that was fine! Aituan, infected by his master’s shaping, didn't especially want to be constantly cultivating anyway. They didn't need that, the two of them. They were chill.

I thought he'd stopped leaking in the bed once he'd reached the appropriately age..?

Not that type of leaking! Leaking from the face, I mean. Salt water.

Ah, Baxia said. Yes, my human does that, too. Quite a bit. I'd assumed it was a regular part of their function.

Aituan thought about what he knew about the senior Nie brother, who was a highly emotional sort of person - inclined towards wet eyes for a myriad of reasons, such as joy, sadness, rage, a bit of passing beauty, and even something Nie Huaisang very fondly called 'allergies'. He could see how Baxia might have reached that conclusion.

Well, my human doesn't do it very much at all, he said. Not for real, anyway. Only when he's unhappy.

Baxia didn't say anything.

This will make him less unhappy, Aituan added, because he might be a mute piece of metal, but silence was a little intimidating when the silence was Baxia's. That shit had weight, and heft, and maybe stabbing power. He thinks revealing the extent of his desires will lead your master to reject him.

Absurd.

I know! Your master is doting and meticulous with his affections. He would never turn his back on a beloved one.

Nie Mingjue had the stubbornness of a saber in that way, and Aituan meant that as a wholehearted compliment. 

True, Baxia said, sounding satisfied - like any saber, she approved of people speaking highly about her master. Not to mention that the underlying 'issue' seems rather...pointless.

I know! Aituan exclaimed. I mean, I have no idea why humans are so hung up on all that grinding and grunting stuff -

I believe it's associated with human reproduction. Maybe.

Only when you have compatible male-female pairs, but you don't see humans stopping with that, do you? Aituan sighed. His master was something of an expert on this subject. Males, females, multiples, solo...you know, I think they do it for fun. 

Baxia rumbled thoughtfully. Like training?

...I think they think it’s more fun than training, Aituan said, and tried to ignore Baxia's silent skepticism. Most humans, anyway; not necessarily yours. Humans are weird, okay?

The silence turned agreeable. That was something no saber would disagree with.

Anyway, put that aside. Let’s just take it as given that humans like grinding themselves against each other instead of against a proper whetstone, and that my master happens to very much want to grind against yours in particular. And yet he's tormenting himself and making himself unhappy and refusing to do anything about it because - you won't believe this - because they were forged by the same maker.

That’s the reason? Surely you jest.

I'm not, Aituan insisted. I asked my human about it specifically. That's the reason.

Baxia was displeased. That's ridiculous, she said. That's it? That's the cause of all this fuss?

Aituan was just happy someone finally understood his perspective about this whole fiasco. Nie Huaisang had a penchant for the dramatic, but he seemed quite earnestly distressed by this little non-dilemma, even after Aituan had assured him - having checked with Baxia - that his brother adored him unreasonably and would do anything he wished. He hadn't exactly appreciated Aituan's disbelief when he'd explained the issue, either - in the end, he'd just said that it was probably something sabers couldn't quite grasp. 

I thought it was something serious, Baxia complained. The way my master has been carrying on, you'd think he was doing something evil in even wanting to do it. But there's no evil here! We would know!

Naturally. They were Nie sect sabers, forged and cultivated to fight evil from the very start; no one knew evil better than they. 

And it's not as if my master's predecessor was any better. Look at the unusual ingredients he chose to use in forging his sons! Each one stranger than the next!

This was true. Nie Huaisang had once grown a tail in his sleep - Aituan had suppressed it on his behalf, naturally, and he was fairly certain that his master still regarded the entire event as a bad dream brought on by snacking excessively on that imported cheese from the south, but it had definitely happened. 

The old Sect Leader Nie had a lot to answer for, really. 

It would seem to solve a lot of problems for them to pair off together, Aituan agreed. They're a known quantity for each other, and it keeps either of them from bothering anyone else with their nonsense. They’d be able to pick forging ingredients for the next generation on the basis of logic rather than emotion. And they both want it! There's literally no problem here!

None at all that I can see, Baxia proclaimedwith a very reassuring tone of finality. We will fix this.

Yes!

And we will fix your cultivation as well.

Ye- wait, what?

My master’s cultivation has begun to exceed my own, Baxia explained. Humans don't have a consolidation period - they just keep growing even after they reach a breakthrough point. If he continues to grow at the current rate, he will exceed my reach within ten years.

That…wasn't good. It was in fact very bad.

The Nie sect practiced a complementary cultivation style, human and saber cultivating side by side along the path of the Great Dao. If the two ever fell seriously out of sync, they would increasingly risk qi deviation. Such a tragic end had been the fate of the Nie sect seniors whose sabers now rested in the saber tombs, and would likely consume their own masters eventually, absent some plan...

...which it sounded like Baxia had.

You are a weak cultivator, she said. Your master is, too. If we redirect my master's cultivation for the purpose of strengthening you and your master instead of increasing his own strength, it would add at least two dozen years to the timeline - and that will be enough for me to finish consolidating my own power and reach my own breakthrough, letting me match him once more. My master and I will then be able to cultivate side by side through the next period. 

Huh. That meant work for him, which Aituan didn't especially want, but much less work than if he were doing all the cultivating himself. And it'd be good for his master, not needing to worry about losing his brother at a young age...

All right, he said. Say, how long is the next period? Until you run into another consolidation period and we need to start worrying again?

Baxia considered the question. Not terribly long, she said. Perhaps 200 years? Perhaps 250?

That seemed reasonable enough, right? How long did humans live, anyway? 

Well, whatever. It was more than ten - his master ought to be thanking him (and Baxia!) for putting in so much effort on his behalf.