Chapter 179

Katya’s POV

Alaska and I had our makeup sprawled out across the wide counter of the double vanity in the hotel bathroom. We had spent the afternoon leisurely having coffee in one of my favourite Seattle cafes and shopping. But something was niggling at the back of my mind though and it wouldn’t let me fully relax.

Alaska sighed, slammed her brush down on the counter and spun to face me. “I KNOW something is bothering you, spill it Bri!” He came and threw his arms around me, I rested my head on his shoulder.

“The thing is, I am not even fully sure what is bothering me. Something about last night, about what happened to Fame, just doesn’t make sense.”

“Well maybe if you say what you’re thinking, it will make it clearer? Or we can figure it out together. How about that?”

“Ok, well when we found Fame, she said she fell on her side right?”

“Yeah,” Justin nodded, bumping his chin lightly against the top of my head.

“If she fell on her side and hurt her ribs, why wasn’t she found lying on her hurt side. I mean, you SAW her too! She couldn’t even straighten up let alone roll over. Plus she was knocked out but she didn’t hit her head?”

He pulled away from me with a shocked look on his half painted face, “hmmm. Maybe Fame passed out from pain?”

I looked at him doubtfully. “Oh another thing...so if she fell with her arms out and the ground hit her nose…” I mused out loud. “Did she get up and fall again? I don’t know. It just doesn’t make sense.” I chewed on the inside of my lip. Justin’s forehead bunched together with worry. I shouldn’t have told him. I should really stop saying everything that comes into my overactive neurotic brain like I have verbal and mental Montezuma's revenge.

“Hey? Are you in there?” I heard him say in a distant voice as if we were across a football field from each other and not in each other’s personal space. I shook my head like a dog shaking water out of it’s ears. “Benny being an ass again?”

I raked my hand down my face without thinking, smearing my foundation. “Shit! I shouldn’t burden people by saying every single thing Benny throws at me. I’m sorry.” I looked at the ground, feeling my face redden under my makeup for being such a spaz.

He put his crooked pointer finger under my chin and forced me to look at him. “You are not a burden and if you can’t share with people who care about you, who can you? You can tell me anything Kat. I promise that you aren’t a burden to me. Not at all. You make some good points, maybe something else happened, maybe it didn’t. She has seemed pretty jumpy, even when we found her, she was scared. Oh no! I think something happened to Fame, something bad.” He frowned, thinking deeply.

I sighed, “I’m going to text Pearl. She knows something is up. I KNOW she does and if she won’t talk, we can corner Phi Phi because you KNOW that she knows too.” I felt my stomach burble with anxiety and clamped my hand over it. “I don’t want to be right ‘Lasky, I really don’t want to be right,” I fretted.

He gently ran his hands up and down my arms and leaned in to kiss the top of my head, “I don’t want you to be right either but Fame is going to need us in the coming weeks. If she was...if something happened to her, she’s going to need emotional support too.” His voice dropped to a husky whisper, “we can see bruises and wounds heal but emotional scars can open over and over again.” I slipped my hands around behind him and rubbed his back as I just held him. There was nothing I could say, I knew Justin had lived through some tumultuous times and when he was speaking about emotional scars, he was speaking about himself. He sighed into my neck and melted into me. We just stood there, slightly swaying from side to side as if dancing to some unheard music.

After a few minutes, he squeezed me tight and I knew that was a signal that he was ok. We broke apart, both letting out a little sigh. He resolutely went over and dabbed a stray tear from his cheek and picked up his brush again.

I picked up my phone and punched in a text to Pearl before Benny could change my mind.

Me - Pearl, I know what happened to Fame. I know she didn’t fall.

Chapter 175

Pearl’s POV

I hung up with Adore and headed back inside. I sent an exhausted but still protesting Phi Phi back to the hotel with the promise I would text her once we knew anything. I cancelled tonight because I wouldn’t feel right leaving Fame alone, whether we are still here at the hospital or back at the hotel.

I went up to the front desk, “hey there, can you please let me back in? I’m with Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen.”

“Yeah,” was all the sour-faced nurse behind the glass said before pressing a button that would let me through the doors and back into the ER. For a hospital called Good Samaritans, they all seemed to be pretty fucking bitchy.

I just got back to Fame’s room as they wheeled her bed around the corner. She was barely awake but mumbled, “Hey, good timing Pearly. How’s Vi?”

“Adore said Vi was still resting when I spoke with her, they seem to be having bad dreams and their fever was still pretty high. The hospital gave Vi some new medication so hopefully that will help things.”

“Yeah, I heard them whimpering in their sleep when I talked to Danny, it was heartbreaking. Danny must be crushed.”

“He’s pretty upset, understandably. Why don’t you close your eyes and rest for a bit Pumpkin?” I suggested.

“Did they say when the police were coming?” Fame asked, panic evident in her tired eyes.

“No they didn’t but I promise I’ll wake you up if you are sleeping when they or the Dr get here. C’mon, take advantage of those meds and rest while you can.” I reached over and turned off the overhead light, it was still plenty bright in the room with the light from the hall that spilled under the cheap ugly pastel curtain. I stuck my bottom lip out and batted my eyelashes, “pweeease Famey Wamey?”

She smiled and her forehead unwrinkled for the first time since we got there, “thank you for coming with me Matt. I’m sorry you’re missing the show, you can go though, I know they will take good care of me here.”

I grabbed her hand and she held on with a vice grip, “I am not leaving you. You are totally stuck with me, now sleep woman!”

She let out a sigh, “fine!” She yawned and closed her eyes, within moments her hand relaxed in mine and I set it down gently and pulled the white scratchy blanket up to Fame’s chin.

I plopped back down in the hard chair beside the bed, looking around at all the medical instruments on the wall and the IV pole that was slowly dripping liquid into Fame’s veins. I hadn’t actually paid attention to my surroundings until now, images of being in the hospital sprang into my head. Being in pain, feeling ashamed and unsafe, having my tormentors come masquerading as friends. Wanting to die, every moment of every day, just to get away from my own thoughts. Spiraling out of control.

I pulled myself out of those dark thoughts, turning my phone on and flipping through my social media, reading anything to distract myself. I sent a message off to Phi Phi as promised, hoping she was having a nap.

Hey Pheefs, Fame is back from her MRI. No news yet, police haven’t come yet. I hope this doesn’t wake you if you are getting in a quick nap.

I had just started playing level 39 of candy crush when Phi Phi responded.

Phi Phi - I’m awake but I have red bull so it’s ok. ;) Thanks for the update. Michelle is on the warpath, she’s pretty pissed that we went to the hospital without telling her. You would think we’re all kids on a school trip and she’s a chaperone. I guess she can’t help it, it’s just the Mom in her coming out. I think she is relieved that Fame went and that you are with her but you know Michelle, she is a fan of control.

I chuckled and sent back:

Sorry you had to deal with the brunt of that, I’m sure I’ll hear about it too. Ok I will stop texting you, I know you have to paint. Have a great show! Break a lash!

I tucked my phone into my pocket and picked up a discarded old Cosmo magazine that Fame had snagged from somewhere. Someone cleared their throat before pulling the curtain back to reveal two uniformed Seattle police officers, a burly older gentleman with greying hair and a ruddy complexion only alcoholism could supply and a petite doe-eyed girl who looked like she was fresh from the academy, her dull brown hair pulled severely into a bun.

“Kurtis?” I put my hand on Fame’s shoulder, she jumped and winced before blanching at the sight of the officers.

Sorry for the long time between posts. crushing depression + writer’s block = me

Chapter 163

Adore’s Point of view

I took one last look of Violet’s sleeping face before I rounded the corner, I really didn’t want to go but Matt promised he would check in on them regularly and I trusted that he would. Lucy would be back before long as well.

It seemed like a long time since I had been at group because it felt like it had been weeks since I had last gone. I was there a bit early but Selene was there too, she jumped up as soon as she saw me and pulled me into a tight hug, “Bonjour mon amour, how are you? I’ve missed you so! Oh mon dieu! Your hand!”

“Hiya Selene, I KNOW! It feels like it has been forever since we had last spoken to each other instead of it just being the past few meetings. My hand is ok! Don’t worry!” I reassured her, flailing my casted arm around.

"And how is Violet doing now?” a look of concern marring her perfect face.

“They’re much better. We even came to the games room, with Lucy and her new little friend, to play some video games yesterday which was great fun.”

“Oh good!!”

“And how is Luc?” Her son Luc has the same cancer as Lucy does.

“He is good, thank you for asking!!” She smiled brightly, “They are saying we may be able to take him home next week!

"That is AMAZING news!! I’m so very happy for him and you!”

She smiled and nodded, before we could chat any longer, Alexa walked in, holding the hand of a petite raven haired woman.

“Hi!! I am assuming you are Leslie?” I asked, closing the distance between her and I.

“Yes I am! I wanna say you are Danny?” I nodded and she pulled me into a hug. Then she got a quizzical look on her face, “has anyone ever told you that you could be the identical twin of one of my favourite drag queens Adore Delano? She was on a popular drag competition reality show if you haven’t heard of it.” Alexa was grinning behind her.

“I know her actually!”

“REALLY? I’d love to meet her sometime if she is around! If it’s not too much trouble.”

I laughed and stuck my hand out for her to shake it and she looked confused for a moment but finally shook it. “Hi I’m Adore Delano, nice to meet you!”

“Oh my gosh! REALLY??”

“Yep I really am and Violet Chachki is just down the hall.” I grinned, bemused at the shocked expression on her face.

“You gotta be shitting me!” she blurted and then covered her mouth, “Sorry, I saw they were being treated for cancer on youtube. Sorry about the swearing,” she looked around at everyone for a minute and then turned back to me. “I should know better seeing as I’m in a kid’s hospital. Hey wait…why are you guys at a children’s hospital?”

“Well it’s a bit of a long story. The Dr in New York that diagnosed them sent them to an oncologist here that deals with their rare type of cancer, but Dr Bailey only has rights to treat here so here is where we came.”

“Makes sense. I can’t believe I’m talking to you!”

I giggled, “Well believe it baby!”

Olive came in and introduced herself to Leslie. “Ok gang, why don’t we begin?”

“Wait,” I said. “What about Grayson?”

Olive’s face fell, “Grayson’s daughter has taken a turn for the worse and he said he would much rather spend that time with her. Which of course is understandable! Keep them in your thoughts and prayers.”

We all nodded slowly, all of us dreading the possibility that that could be us someday.

The meeting was subdued.At the end of it, I told Alex and Leslie I would call their son’s room if and when Vi was up to visitors as I didn’t want them to just come with me since Vi was having chemo again and I didn’t know how they would be feeling. I knew how sensitive Vi can be about their appearance sometimes.

Surprisingly, when I tiptoed into the room, Vi was sitting up chatting with Lucy, unhooked from chemo but not quite green yet. Ross bucket was lying on the bed near Vi’s crossed legs. They didn’t see me but I saw them, Lucy must have said something funny because they threw their head back in their characteristic laugh that made my stomach get butterflies like riding a rollercoaster. Their eyes flicked to me and they smiled, beckoning me forward with one finger and like a fish on a hook I followed with a goofy smile I couldn’t and wouldn’t shake.

Lucy is sitting and there is a boy sitting beside Lucy that wasn’t Frederick. He had ginger hair that was spiked up, he was wearing dark jeans, a loose diamond-patterned pale emerald short-sleeved button-up shirt and a silver bowtie. As soon as he saw me, he stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Hi! Nice to meet you! Do you prefer Danny or Adore?” He twanged.

“You forgot to tell him your name goof!” Lucy laughed, she looked radiant.

“Er…sorry! I’m Samuel, Lucy’s brother. Sorry I haven’t been here yet to meet you.” He was holding his breath, I wondered if it was because I knew he was trans. Like that even fucking mattered…well it mattered but it didn’t matter.

“Hey man.” I said, he put out his hand to shake and then switched when he saw my cast. He chuckled, the ice was broken as he sat back down beside Lucy who was beaming crazily up at her brother. It honestly made me wanna cry with how sweet it was.

Violet reached their hand out and pulled me to sit beside them

“You forgot to tell him your name goof!” Violet repeated Lucy’s earlier statement.

“Oh yeah!” I smacked my forehead, “sorry Samuel! Either is fine with me. Half the time Vi and I call each other by our drag names because we both answer to which ever! So you’re home!! Welcome back! Lucy has told us a lot about you.”

“All horrible stuff. I’ve told them nothing but horrible things.” Lucy deadpanned.

“I would expect anything less of you lil sister.” He chuckled, ruffling her hair like a big brother should.

She squirmed out of the way and smoothed down her bangs again. “Get away you!” She took a closer look at him, squinting up at him. “You doing ok? If you need to go, I understand hun. You should get some rest bro. I’m ok!”

Upon closer inspection, Samuel did look as green as his shirt.

“You ok man?” Vi asked, concern in their voice.

Samuel chuckled morosely. “I could ask you the same thing. Incoming!”

Violet groaned and grabbed up Ross, I rubbed their back and murmured the usual reassurances while Lucy and Samuel had a whispered conversation that I was probably not meant to hear.

“Sammy, you just got home, you need to rest. You KNOW that I understand.”

“Luce, it was bad enough I was away so much longer than I was supposed to be! I don’t want to leave already. I’m fine.”

“Samuel, we both know you are not fine! Do NOT even try it. You won’t heal if you don’t take care of yourself. You have to take your meds.”

“They make me tired.”

“I know, most pain meds make people sleepy. You can ask the doctor at your appointment for meds that aren’t as strong but right now you NEED them. Please?”

Vi must have heard the conversation because as soon as they surfaced from the bucket, they jabbed the nurse’s button fiercely with their thumb.

“Can I help you?” A nurse’s voice crackled from the speaker on the wall.

“Hi can I get my pain meds?”

“I’ll be right in with them Jason.”

“Thank you.” Vi looked straight at Samuel and smirked, “ok your turn.” They raised one spotty eyebrow at him. “Sorry not sorry, this room is not that big. Lucy knows what she is talking about. Listen to her. Please?”

“You too Danny?” Lucy said with her own raised ginger brow.

I put my hand up, “hey! Hey! Why you gotta bring me into this?”

“Because you are also in pain.” Violet said.

“God, aren’t we all a mess!!?” I exclaimed and we all burst out into laughter until we were holding our stomachs and Samuel was even greener.

10 minutes later we had all taken our meds, Samuel had winced when he leaned over to grab his meds from his backpack. Vi and I pretended not to notice as we were suddenly engrossed in our fingernails or the ceiling.

“You guys are so not fooling me. So I had…”

“No Samuel, you don’t have to tell us. It’s ok!”

“No, I don’t mind. I recently went to Mexico and had top surgery. I had to stay longer than intended due to complications outside of anyone’s control. It was a good facility, not one of those seedy places so it wasn’t because of that. Hopefully I can get the drains out tomorrow when I see my Dr here.” He said and then yawned.

“Hey why don’t you stretch out on the couch tonight Samuel? Vi will let me sleep with them, right hun?”

I saw a shadow of fear pass over Jason’s face, I think I could safely bet that they were worried about having a nightmare with Samuel in the room. I put my hand on their knee, and they looked at him and nodded with a queasy smile. “Yeah that would be great! Please stay Samuel, if you want to!”

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I am extremely tired.”

“Not at all! I have a spare set of pajamas if you wanna borrow them.” I offered, moving around the bed and plucking a pair of lounge pants and an oversized Tshirt from my suitcase and throwing them at Lucy since it would probably hurt him to raise his arms.

“Well the thing is, I might bleed on the shirt.” He said, looking around awkwardly.

“Meh, what’s a little blood between friends? But here, use this one and keep it.” I went to my suitcase and pulled out an extra large black Adore merch shirt, throwing that one to Lucy.”

“Really?” He exclaimed, looking like someone just gave him a million bucks.

“Yep.”

“Thank you!” He said and yawned.

“Ok you go put those on young man and I’ll make up the couch with fresh linens since I know where to find them now.”

About 20 minutes later, Lucy tucked her big bro in and a nurse came in to give Lucy her sleep and pain meds. I curled up with Violet, holding their petite body up against mine. “I really actually love you Jason. Oh and I have to go to the Doctor tomorrow at 1 about my hand. Please don’t let me forget.”

“I’ll remind you.” Jason said sleepily, “I really actually love you too. Thanks for suggesting that Samuel stay for the night. You’re the best.”

(Sorry Kittens, this fic has pretty much outgrown my control)

Chapter 164

Katya’s point of view

I woke up in the bunk, Alaska was sprawled beside me, our bodies were entwined so thoroughly I didn’t know where I began and he ended in this cramped space.

Golden Girls was still playing on my iPad so I spaced out to that for a bit until Justin stirred. He blearily rubbed his eyes and looked around at our legs.

“Hey we’re like totally gay spaghetti!” He whispered with a giggle.

I put my hand up to my chest and gasped. “What! You’re gay?” I exclaimed in mock surprise.

“That’s what the internet says…I mean, who can argue with the internet?”

“Too true!” I mused, turning my phone on as my stomach growled, I guess the granola bars wouldn’t keep me full forever. “We’ve been sleeping for 4 hours, I don’t know about you my queen but I need to stretch my legs and forage for sustenance.”

“Sounds good!” We untangled ourselves from each other, sitting with our legs over the edge for a minute. Jinkxy was visible through the clear plastic of their curtain, snoring softly in their bunk across the way, their mouth wide open with their hands clasped under their chin looking like a little bald cherub.

We tiptoed out to the living room, where most of the queens were lounging around. Sharon and Phi Phi each had an earbud in their ear as they leaned in to watch something on Sharon’s ipad, it was evidently amusing as they were both chuckling.

Pearl and Fame were having a serious conversation about something in the corner.

Willam was laying flat on his back with his eyes closed, holding onto the seat cushion and wincing every time the bus hit the slightest bump. B sitting nearby with his arms crossed and looking worried or cranky or both. Cranrried? Woranky? His brow was so furrowed that his eyebrows were close to touching each other. Uh oh.

“Hey what’s going on?” I blurted without thinking.

“What THE FUCK do you THINK is going on Kat?” Willam glared at me and rolled his eyes before he closed them again, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

I’m such an idiot, always opening my big dumb mouth before my brain kicks in, I smacked myself on the forehead. “I’m sorry Will.” Alaska pulled my hand down  before I could do it again.

Willam sighed and grimaced. “No I’m sorry Kitty Kat, it’s not your fault. I fell when the bus turned about half an hour ago. I’ll be ok soon as…well soon.”

It was cute that he didn’t want to bring up meds but I felt pretty damn strong today. The euphoria that Vi was beating their cancer was all the drug I needed. “Well, I hope your meds kick in soon!” I said with a little grin as Alaska pulled me down beside him.

“Stay out of trouble you!” He whispered in my ear, sending a delicious trail of goosebumps up and down my spine.

40 minutes later, Willam was sitting semi-comfortably, propped up between B and Alaska. It was almost like a palpable sigh of relief went through the bus and everyone relaxed knowing that Will was feeling a bit better. Or at least “better” in the terms of being able to feign that he was doing ok.

That is sometimes the name of the game with any pain, whether physical or emotional, that you fake it til you make it so that only the people that know you the best might see your struggle. There was something that felt inherently shameful in admitting pain in today’s society and I really wish it wasn’t that way. It would be so much easier for people to get help if there wasn’t all this bullshit about being brave and strong. Even though my critical-thinking brain know this to be so, my anxious heart made it easy to forget and submit to this particular societal norm.

“Hey everyone, there is a rest stop with a decent diner attached up ahead about 45 minutes up the road if I remember correctly. Do you want to stop and grab a bite?” Alex yelled back to us. Everyone said some variation of yes and Alex’ voice called out once more, “ok sounds good. No one wants a bus of hungry drag queens!”

We all laughed and talked about bullshit and roared at Phi Phi’s impersonations of Alaska, Sharon and Dela.

Fame seemed withdrawn but every time she noticed me looking at her, she would paste on a fake smile that never reached her eyes. Benny stirred in my brain but before he could get a good run going, I was able to shut him down. I resolutely promised to keep an eye on her.

The diner we stopped at was old but clean, the lady that came around the corner seemed overjoyed at the prospect of a group of customers rather than the sporadic few that peppered the small tables throughout the restaurant. We pushed a bunch of tables together and I cursed internally when Fame happened to be on the opposite end of the table, I was hoping I could sit beside her and ask her how she was quietly. I knew she wasn’t ok, I think she knew I knew too.

We all ordered our food and received huge helpings. Sitting in the diner with all the scents of food cooking made my stomach rumble so loud that 4 or 5 of the queens at our end of the table looked up at me. My steak came and I was too consumed with trying to gobble up the perfectly cooked steak and buttery mashed potatoes that I forgot to see how Fame was doing. When I looked up, she was gone. A plate of salad and a small half filled bowl of soup left in her wake. Maybe she went to the bathroom? I continued stuffing my face ravenously and when I looked up when I had conquered the steak and ate every juicy mouthful, her seat was still empty and her food untouched.

I whispered, “I’ll be right back.” into Alaska’s ear and then headed for the other end of the table.

I crouched down beside B who was at the end of the table and mumbled in a low voice, “hey B, have you seen Fame?”

“Yeah, she went back to the bus I think. Said she wasn’t feeling well. I’m sorry, I didn’t even see her go.”

“Ok thanks.”

I stood to get up and he put a hand on my arm. “Are you sure she doesn’t want time alone Kat? Maybe she needs a minute. I’ll get her food boxed up and order her some dessert to go. Obviously you are going to do what you want because you are a stubborn ass so it’s just a suggestion.” He said with a grin as he released me.

“Apple pie.”

“What?” B asked, looking confused.

“Order Fame some apple pie or apple crisp, it’s her favourite.” I said with a little wink as I sauntered back down the table.

Alaska looked at me questioningly but I just gave her an almost imperceptible shake of my head and it was like I could see her muscles relax in relief. My highstrung-ness was wearing off on her I think. Not that Alaska was that relaxed of a person most of the time herself. Maybe I made it worse for her, she seemed to always be putting out the sweeping forest fires of rampant thought in my brain that I sometimes thought would consume me alive.

I was too full for dessert but I grabbed a piece of turtle cheesecake for later, carving “Katya” into the styrofoam top of the container in cursive with my thumbnail and then printing “eat this and die!!!” at the bottom for good measure. B had 3 containers of food for Fame. I grabbed the bill for Alaska, Fame and I and we all waddled out to the bus all smiling and moaning about how full we were.

Alaska and I were at the very end of the line and we were almost inside the bus when a distraught Jinkxy came out from the back of the bus.

“I can’t find Fame. She’s not here!” Jinkx said throwing her hands in the air, sitting down and bursting into tears.

“Hey…um…ok. Let’s search for her. She can’t be far. Jinkxy, you and Will stay here in case she comes back. Ok…um B and Pearl you go to the gas station there and see if she went in there. If they have a washroom, check there too.” I commanded, pointing at the little gas station and convenience store at the other end of the overly large parking lot. Panic was slowly rising in my throat but I squelched it down, now is not the time to fall apart and need someone to put me back together again. I don’t know if I had a bad feeling about this or if Benny was just being an asshole again. She wasn’t acting like herself which was totally understandable with all that has happened lately, I didn’t voice my concerns aloud at the moment. “Pheef and Sharon, you go to the right of the restaurant and around the outskirts of the restaurant and ‘Lasky and I will go along the other side and we will meet you at the back.  At least one of each pair, take your cellphone and text if you find her.”

“What do you want me to do Katya? I want to help too!” Alex interjected, wringing his cap in his hands and looking like a Dad whose daughter was out waaay past curfew on Prom night.

I hadn’t thought of a job for Alex. “Hmm, oh! Why don’t you go into the restaurant. Maybe she was in the restroom this whole time? Maybe she is sick or the door is locked or something!”

“Got it!”

“Ok everyone got it?” No one joked about me channeling my inner B or anything, they just nodded somberly then we all scattered like beads on a broken necklace.

I’m so sorry for the wait! Enjoy this pointless filler chapter! lol

Chapter 161

Adore’s Point of view

I smiled as I waved goodbye and clicked the off button on facetime. I yawned again. I guess I should take the time well I know Violet has company to have a nap. I put the computer on the table and stretched out on the sofa bed. Then I rolled on my side and fell asleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow as they say.

I woke up four hours later. I hadn’t meant to sleep so long but as I turned to say sorry to Violet for oversleeping I noticed that they were sound asleep on their bed. I didn’t know how long they had been asleep or how I hadn’t heard them come in but I did notice Lucy reading the book she was reading last night.

Lucy noticed I was awake mostly because Lucy notices everything. She smiled and pulled out her phone.

Lucy-good morning sunshine!

Me-why y'all keep stealing my line?

Lucy-sorry not sorry!

Me-sometimes, I regret showing you season five of drag race. You’ve picked up way too many of Detox’s catchphrases

Lucy-You never let me have any fun! I’ve had it, OFFICIALLY

me-you are totally incorrigible!

Lucy-I know and you know that you love it!

Me-I totally do! I am so glad that I’ve met you.

Lucy-I am glad I met you too! Not many people can say that they have shared a room with two internationally famous entertainers! And more importantly awesome people!

Me-we are not really famous, we are GAYmous!

Lucy-very funny you!

Me-how long have they been asleep?

I looked at them again and sure enough they were hooked up to their afternoon chemo. The remnants of a lunch tray were on the table, a plastic dome over the plate

Lucy-about an hour and a half

me-and that they ate something? Sorry I know that you’re not responsible for them. I’m just wondering cause you seem to notice everything

Lucy-yeah I think they ate most of the sandwich and drank an ensure and I think they had a bite or two of the jello or whatever it is. Mystery gelatinous substance… it could’ve been pudding. I don’t know.

Me-you didn’t eat?

Lucy- I wasn’t feeling up to it. I’m gonna order something later probably. I think my body is preparing itself again for more chemo. :(

me-oh that sucks! I’m sorry babe. At least you aren’t alone.

Lucy-I’m kind of used to being alone but it’s nice to have company. Well hopefully… I mean who likes company that ralphs a lot?

Me-I don’t mind and I’m pretty sure Violet doesn’t either!

Lucy-that’s good. I will order something in a bit. As I think you noticed yesterday, I’m a little thin.

Me-thin? You? I hadn’t noticed.

She looked up at me and I smiled.

Lucy-you’re so full of shit your eyes are brown!

Me-Aw you noticed my eyes! How is the book?

Lucy-just as addictive as yesterday! thanks for closing the book and saving my place last night.

Me-no problem I know how frustrating it is when you lose your place in a book!

Lucy-you like to read?

Me-well I haven’t before but I do now. We haven’t really been your roommates for too long but Vi and I often take turns reading Harry Potter books out-loud.

Lucy- awww that’s so fucking cute

Me- yeah it kinda is, isn’t it?

Lucy- totally. I gotta go to school soon, are you gonna be ok by yourself because I can stay here.

Me- oh no you don’t Missy! Did you get all your homework done?

Lucy- yep.

Me- good!

Lucy- yep lol

Me- smart-ass

Lucy grinned widely from her bed.

Lucy- YEP!! Have you eaten anything today?

Me- nope not yet. I’m not really hungry.

Lucy- too bad, so sad, go get something while I’m still here. There is gingerale and chocolate milk and cheese and crackers in the little caregivers kitchenette. I know because I sneak in there sometimes. I mean I know they are an adult and don’t need someone with them all the time but it’s no fun to wake up with no one to talk to 

Me- true, ok I’ll be right back.

I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were some sandwiches in the back so I grabbed an egg sandwich and a can of gingerale. It was nice, there was a bunch of good Samaritans who came by every few days to drop off some food for the parents and other caregivers. What they brought tended to vary depending on who was preparing the food. I didn’t often take advantage of it because I’m not a parent. I don’t have a child that I can’t be away from. Me not being away from Vi was as much for my comfort as it was for them.

I tried to think the last time I ate, it was last night with my Mom and even then, I didn’t eat much I just wasn’t hungry. I was averaging a meal a day and a shit tonne of coffee and I knew I needed to start eating more regularly. I just didn’t really want to. I knew people were worried about me but I wish they wouldn’t because Vi should be getting people’s attention, not me. Plus I have my hog body to nourish me when I forget to eat.

I went back to the room just as Lucy was getting ready to head out. She was using her crutches, her oxygen backpack looked bigger than her.

“Hey do you need me to carry your books?” I whispered.

“Aw so gallant! No I just have to take this,” She whispered back, holding a slim folder. “I have another set of books in the classroom.”

“Oh that’s a really good idea!”

“I thought it was too when they suggested it when I started to use my crutches. I tried using a bag but it threw me off kilter too much. The folder is pretty light and I put my work into a binder I keep there in my cupboard.”

“You guys got it all worked out!”

“I think we got most of it so far.”

“Good. I’m glad you can go to school now.”

“Oh me too, I hadn’t been to school since I was 12 before they pulled me from the compound.”

“Yikes.”

“Amen to that! Bye Danny, you eat that!”

“Yes Mother!” I said, saluting her and she giggled quietly.

I folded in the sofa and sat down with a soft ooof, I unwrapped the sandwich carefully, opening the ginger ale. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was, I downed almost all of the can and then buried my face in the pillow and let out a huge burp.

I held my breath. Vi slept on. Whew.

I nibbled on the corner of the sandwich, I ate around the crust first. It tasted like cardboard in comparison to my Mama’s sandwiches but nothing could really compare to them. I got most of the way through the first half but I just couldn’t finish it. Maybe my stomach has shrunk? Is that possible? I threw the rest in the bin and downed the rest of the ginger ale. I should have gotten some water from the water and ice machine. I really should take better care of myself but I didn’t want to leave them alone in case they had a nightmare again. I wouldn’t forgive myself if that happened!

Of course, once I started thinking about how thirsty I was, it got so much worse. Luckily, Matt peeked his head in. He went to leave again not to wake them but I flailed my arms wildly and padded over to the door in my sock feet. I stepped just outside of the room.

“Hey Matt, Vi had another nightmare last night so I don’t want to leave them alone but I feel like I’m super dehydrated so can you sit in here for a minute while I go get water in case they wake up?”

He smiled, “Of course I can! Hold out your hand for me?” I gave him a weird look but put my hand out palm side up. He chuckled, turned it over and gave it a pinch, my skin stayed up like a little tent until I pulled my hand away and rubbed it. “You are definitely dehydrated, get some water in you. If it doesn’t help, I’ll break the rules and put an IV in and pump you up like a water balloon. Ok?” I smiled and nodded and he slipped into Vi’s room.

I almost ran to the kitchen, I pulled the biggest Styrofoam cup I could find and filled it with ice water and grabbed a straw and was about to leave then I grabbed a second cup. I was REALLY thirsty and I did NOT want an IV.

When I got back, Matt was just finishing with disconnecting Vi’s chemo, he wiggled his fingers at me in a wave as he left the room.

Chapter 181

Adore’s POV

I squirmed down in bed deeper, I forgot where I was until I opened my eyes to see the pale purple walls of Vi and Lucy’s hospital room. I heard giggling as I rolled and stretched out, all my muscles were sore from shivering but it was 100 percent worth it when I saw Vi sitting up in bed, smiling. Their cheeks had some colour and they were actually eating something. They were so damn beautiful. They threw their head back and laughed at something Lucy just said.

They looked over at me, I loved how the corners of their deep-set eyes crinkled when they smiled. “I see you over there! How ya feeling?”

“I’m good.” I stretched again, letting out a little groan. I couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot, it was so nice to see them awake after all we had been through today. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks to you. Still a bit tired.”

“I heard you were quite the hero Danny, I’m sorry I missed the action but Vi I’m glad you’re feeling better of course!”

I plodded over in my sock feet to give Vi a kiss. “You scared me so much today.” Their arms snaked around me and held me close, I was overcome with such strong emotion that I started sobbing into their shoulder. The images of their face after we were kissing and they realized something was very wrong, when they grabbed their chest and I thought it was their heart, the feeling when they went completely slack in my arms, their head lolling to the side.

They cupped the back of my head in their hand, rubbing the stubble on it. “Shhh love. It’s ok! I’m ok!” They kissed my head, their breath hot, “please don’t cry Danny. I’m sorry for scaring you, I’m so sorry. Please stop crying,” they begged. I sniffled as Mom put a box of tissues on Vi’s lap, they mopped up my face. They grinned at me, “you’re a mess!”

“I’m sorry!”

Vi opened their mouth but their phone ringing interrupted them, Mom tossed the phone onto their lap like it was a hot potato.

“Hello?” Vi’s brow knitted together with worry, I could hear someone screaming on the other end, Vi pulled the phone away from their ear. “Slow down Pearl, I can’t understand you! Is that her yelling? Just put her on the phone.” They pulled the phone away and covered the receiver and mouthed, “it’s Fame.”

I pulled their hand into mine and gave it a squeeze. We could still hear Fame screaming.

My Mom looked around awkwardly for a moment and then announced, “I feel like going down to Starbucks, wanna come with me Luce?”

“Uh yeah, sounds good. Let’s take my chair, faster get away!” Lucy quipped, flipping herself into her chair and plopping a hat on her bald head, “Why don’t we stop and get my friend Fred on the way by!”

“Sounds good!” Mom said, giving me a wink before her and Lucy split.

“Hey sweetie,” Vi said in a completely foreign syrupy sweet voice, sing-songing, “you need to calm down ok? Take a few deep breaths and tell me about what happened. Can I put you on speaker, I have an IV in my hand and holding the phone kinda hurts. It’s just Danny and I.” They listened for a minute before clicking the speakerphone button.

Fame’s ragged breathing and sobbing came through the phone, she was hysterical, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry Deena! I’m so sorry!”

Who the fuck was Deena?

“I swear I’m not crazy. I’m not! I’m sorry, you just surprised me is all! I’m not crazy!” Fame was sputtering and wheezing and coughing.

“FAME? FAME! Please talk to me,” Vi begged, “what happened?”

An alarm went off and at first I thought it was Violet’s but they didn’t have any monitors. It was from the other end of the line.

“Ok! Ok! Ok! I’m ok!” Fame repeated, terror in her voice as she tried frantically to calm herself.

“Fame, take some deep breaths with me. In for 4 and out for 8. In 1...2...3...4 ok now out 8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1. Good, that was good! Again.” Violet continued patiently for a good 5 minutes, sending worried looks my way. Fame went from crying so hard that any time she tried to speak it came out as a string of high pitched drawn together unintelligible words to softly sobbing. Telling them what happened in the parking lot when she was attacked, being afraid to come to the hospital, talking to the police and finding out that there wasn’t much they could do but Vi and I couldn’t keep our mouths shut at Fame’s choice to not press charges.

“That’s not right Fame!” I practically shouted in my outrage.

“No, it’s not Fame!” Vi said with knitted brows, squeezing my hand. “So was that what made you so upset? Is this Deena one of the police officers?”

“No, she’s a counselor.” A voice that sounded like Phi Phi’s came through, “sorry Fame, I was trying to get back here to tell you. They just wanna make sure you’re ok. It’s some policy from the hospital.”

“I’m not crazy.” Fame repeated.

“Oh I know you aren’t hun,” a young sounding girl reassured Fame, “like this gentleman here said, it’s Hospital policy that after you’ve been a victim of an act of violence,” Vi winced at the words, squeezing my hand even tighter. My stomach flip-flopped at the image in my head of someone attacking Fame. “We just want to make sure that you have someone to talk to and some type of aftercare plan.”

“I’m sorry I threw a mug at you.”

Vi let out a little giggle and clapped a hand over their mouth to try to stifle it, “Fame! You threw a mug at someone?”

"Yeah, she surprised me and then I didn't know why she was here and I just got...I got angry. I never get angry." Fame whimpered, sounding like the thought of her getting angry was completely foreign. Well the more I thought about it, the more I realized it WAS a foreign concept, I had never even seen the sweet queen get frustrated. Not even when they lost all her luggage including her drag bags in Germany and there was 4 hours til the show because of flight delays. Fame just quickly bought some new clothes and undergarments and thankfully she hadn't checked her makeup. She even joked that it was a good challenge when she rushed back in with an hour and a half to paint instead of her customary 3 to 4 hours.

"It's common for victims to have mood changes and feel jumpy or uneasy." There was a rustling of paper, "I brought you some pamphlets on what to expect after experiencing a trauma."

There was a rustling of a curtain, "hi I'm Dr Fisher."

Fame sighed, her voice was tired as she announced, "gotta go Vi and Adore. We'll call you in a bit. Thanks for helping me with the breathing thing Wifey."

"We'll talk to you soon, please take it easy." There was a click and Vi tapped the off button on their phone. "Poor Fame," they whispered with a frown, looking down at their lap. "I feel just horrible."

As promised! Sorry I've been so neglectful of the story lately but now that my hallowe'en and Christmas fics are out of my system, I can get back to hopefully finish up Roses soon. I am working on an optional epilogue as well and sometimes even though I haven't finished writing the story, I know what's gonna happen so I write the epilogue for a bit.

If you are happening across my tumblr for the first time because of the fic exchange or just because then WELCOME! If you enjoy massively HUGE (192k+ words and still going) fics with angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, love and a lil sprinkle of paranormal phenomenon that is written with a lot of details, YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE. The easiest way to read Roses is to go here to my AO3!

Happy Christmas/Chanukkah/Yule/Kwanza/Holiday Monday to you and yours! Stay safe and remember, if you don't have supportive family, we get to make our own. You are valid. Your pronouns are important. Your sexuality is not up for debate. You are loved.

Love n Glitter,

Remény

Phi Phi’s POV

I love the post-show euphoria, fresh off a meet and greet with the best Phans anywhere. The feeling of contentment that you are living your dream. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything else, I hummed to myself as I quickly changed into some more comfortable clothes. I noticed my phone lit up as I pulled my makeup wipes out of my bag. I frowned as I read Pearl’s angry and mis-spelt text.

Pearl - U told Katya? Do yuo WANT me t kill you? She’s gona tell Alaska who can’t keep anythng from her bestie Sharon! And after I’m done killing you, FAME IS GOIN TO KLIL YOU!

I angrily typed in:

Me- Pearl! I didn’t tell ANYONE! I promised I wouldn’t!! I PROMISED! I wouldn’t do that to her! I have no idea what you are talking about!

Pearl - BULLSHIT! Katya texted me that she knew what happened and that Fame didn’t fall!

I jabbed in a response as I stood up and stalked around the room, looking for the skinny Russian queen and her even skinnier Alien boyfriend, getting more livid by the moment.

Me- Did Katya SAY I told her?! Because she hasn’t even SPOKEN 2 words to me tonight!!

And then the three dancing dots appeared, knowing Pearl was formulating a much larger response to ream my ass out for something I didn’t do, I stalked out the side door to see if Katya was out smoking.

Sure enough, Katya was there with her head back mid-laugh while Alaska gazed at her annoyingly adoringly. They stopped when they saw me steaming from the ears in the doorway.

“Oh heeeyy Pheephs!” Alaska greeted me in an unnaturally high voice as she feigned innocence. “How ya doing?”

“Well...you see...I just got my ass handed to me by Pearl for something I didn’t do.” I spat out, punctuating my words by jabbing the cell phone clenched in my hand in their direction.

“Listen, Jeremi…” Katya started, putting her hands out.

“Oh DON’T ‘listen Jeremi’ me! I promised I wouldn’t say anything and now Pearl is PISSED at me! Even if I didn’t say anything, you KNOW how Pearl is. She’s gonna fucking close up again and it’s going to be YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!”

“JER STOP!!” I heard Alaska plead and felt a hand on my shoulder. Alaska’s hand. My hand was clenched around a fistful of a scared looking Katya’s Tshirt. How did I get to this? I let it go and stumbled backwards, landing on my ass and putting my face in my hands and bursting into loud, messy tears. My phone clattering to the ground. I stiffened momentarily when Alaska wrapped her arm around me, sitting beside me. I felt Katya sit on the other side of me, placing my phone on my leg.

“I...I’m sorry Kat.”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok! You’re ok. We are all going to be ok! Fame too.” Katya murmured, “I’m going to text Pearl now, I’ll get this all straightened out, I promise.” Katya frantically started tapping away with her thumbs.

I nodded mutely. I can’t believe I lost my temper like that. All this stuff with Fame and Pearl was digging up the rage that bubbled barely under the surface some days. Usually, aside from bitchy comments, I was able to keep my shit in check but I was so damn tired, which totally didn't help with my shoddy impulse control. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, keeping my eyes closed but letting my hands fall into my lap.

“Phi Phi come here.” Alaska said, trying to pull me towards her chest. “I said come here you. You’re shaking!” Alaska fretted, pulling her sweater off and draping it over my shoulders, she wiggled closer to me and pulled my stiff body in. I finally relented, putting my head on her shoulder and leaning into her. I started crying again, I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. Kat was going to sort it out. Pearl has to forgive me. I didn’t DO anything!

Katya reached over and linked her arm with mine. Her phone dinged and it made me jump. Then my phone dinged making all three of us huddled together jump.

Pearl - It seems I’ve been fucking misinformed. Sorry Pheefs! I really am. Can you please swear the Russian and the Alien to secrecy? Tell them to keep it quiet if they don’t wish to die a slow and painful death from evisceration with a rusty spoon wielded by one pissed off drag queen.

I burst out with a little giggle and typed in

Me - Gee thanks so much for that mental image lol I’ll tell them. How’s Fame? Are you ok?

Pearl - You’re welcome! Police came, were absolutely no help, I’ll explain it all later. Fame’s conked out, they gave her some pain meds and had to give her anti-anxiety meds because the police got her all riled up. I’m tired but fine. Just remembering shit I don’t really want to.

Me - I will get a ride over there after I ditch the Russian and Alien and then you can go back to the hotel and have a rest. Did they say if she’d be released or admitted tonight yet?

Pearl - They haven’t said anything!! It’s driving me fucking bonkers! You don’t have to come over, you worked tonight, I just sat here. I’ll be fine although I may sneak out to have a smoke but with my luck, if I did, that would be when the Dr would fucking come in so I better stay here. It can’t be that bad because the MRI was done HOURS ago, if it was bad, they’d be in here.

Me - too bad, I’ll be there in 15, you’re stuck with me. Muah hah hah ha! Maybe the Dr will come in while I’m on my way?!

Pearl - LOL you are something Pheefs, ever the optimist! If you insist on coming (and you REALLY don’t have to) can you bring me a phone charger if you have one in your drag bag please? And I’m sorry again, I feel like they tricked me. I will take care of Katya, just tell them NOT to tell anyone, be VERY clear you mean ANYONE and specifically say that includes Sharon!

Me - I will. I’ll see you soon. It’s ok, I would be mad too, I understand. I’m just glad your wrath will be directed at them not me anymore! Lol!

I put my phone face down on my knee and looked from one queen to the other. “Ok, I have been told to tell you,” I said calmly and slowly, “that if you tell ANYONE what you know, that Pearl will disembowel you with a rusty spoon.” They both made squidgy faces as I turned to point my finger into Alaska’s chest, “and she said to specifically say that ANYONE includes Sharon fucking Needles! But tell abso-fucking-lutely no one if you wish to keep Pearl from going all homicidal homo on your asses.”

Katya let out a wheezy bark of laughter. “Sorry! Ha homicidal homo...that’s a good one Pheefs!” Alaska started laughing too and I joined in.

After a few minutes of us cackling, Alaska gave me a little squeeze and let go. “Are you coming back with us? I’m going to order an uber or something.”

“No, I’ll get one on my own, I’m gonna go relieve Pearl for a little bit so she can have a cigarette, maybe convince her to go back to the hotel. She sounds like she’s climbing the walls over there.”

“We could come with you and keep you guys company? How’s Fame doing?” Katya offered.

I shook my head, shrugging off Alaska’s sweater and trying to give it to her, she wouldn’t let me though and draped it over my shoulders again. “No, I’ll go by myself, I’m sure they are just in a little tiny room. Pearl said Fame was sleeping anyway so I don’t think we should wake her, especially if she has the good drugs in her system and isn’t in as much pain.” I said with a little chuckle.

“At least I’m glad she’s resting now.” Katya said, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry that Pearl got mad at you, I should have used my brain."

"It's ok, it's just...Pearl has grown so much, I'd hate to see her close in on herself again. She's gonna need to be able to talk with people, especially if something...uh...happens with Violet." A pang of pain went through my heart, I know that Vi's tests came back that they were beating this beast but I couldn't help worrying. Cancer is so damn unpredictable.

"Hey, hey, Vi's gonna be ok." Katya reassured me, rubbing my back. I just nodded.

Alaska ordered us both ubers, I grabbed my wallet and charger from my drag bag and sent the rest back with them. There was no reason to lug 15 pounds of makeup and pads to the hospital and back.

The hospital was pretty big but the uber driver dropped me off at the emergency entrance, I hesitated outside the nurses window. What was Fame's last name again? I couldn't very well walk up and say I was here to see a patient named Kurtis. I was just about to text Pearl when I remembered.

I pulled the curtain back slowly, peeking in but not stepping in yet. Pearl was dozing in the armchair. I sucked in a small gasp of air at the sight of Fame. Something about seeing her in a hospital bed, in a gown with an IV, her head lolled to the side. A giant oxygen mask obscured half of her face, large purple circles under her eyes. She was pale which made the purple and blue bruises on her face stand out in stark contrast. It somehow made what happened to her more real and I felt a surge of anger at the assholes that did that to her.

I paused in the doorway, I didn't want to make any noise. Pearl grimaced and ground her teeth in her sleep, I winced at the grating noise. At least she was getting a few minutes of sleep in. I could hear a gurney rolling down the hall and took a few tiny steps into the room. Pearl's head snapped up, eyes wide as she took in her surroundings until she saw me, she quickly pasted on a smile but it didn't reach her haunted looking eyes.

I quickly walked over as she stood up, I pulled her into a hug and couldn't help but notice the tremble running through her body and into mine. "Hey there you." I said softly.

"Hey," she whispered and cleared her throat.

"Y'ok?" It was a stupid question and I immediately kicked myself for it, "sorry dumb question."

She sank back down in the chair, lacing her fingers together and staring down at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. I crouched down, she momentarily flinched when I put my hand on her knee but quickly recovered. "I'm not ok Pheefs, I'm far from ok. I'm so tired." She whispered brokenly, bowing her head down. I knew she didn't mean that she was physically tired, although I'm sure she was, I knew in my gut that she meant that bone crushing emotional weariness that comes from the energy it takes to keep going, to keep the walls up to protect your heart at all costs, even from yourself at times.

"I know you are babe, I'm so proud you can admit that you aren't ok, that you feel safe enough and trust me enough to admit that means the world to me." My voice cracked with emotion.

She looked up at me, tears were in her eyes but they didn't fall as she said seriously, "I will always trust you Jer. You are one of my very best friends and I don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks with everything that has happened."

"What happened with the police?" If I thought I was mad before, it was nothing to the rage I felt after she told me, my hands balled into fists. I couldn't blame Fame for not wanting to bother reliving it but it made me furious that the fuckheads who did this to her wouldn't pay! I didn't get much of a chance to respond since Fame stirred and let out a little whimper.

Pearl hopped up and dashed around me and pulled Fame's hand into hers. "It's ok Kurtis, I'm here. You're safe. I got you Kurt. No leave that on please." Pearl replaced the mask back on Fame's face and captured both of Fame's hands in hers to prevent her from doing it again. It took Fame a few moments to wake up enough to stop struggling to pull her hands from Pearl's as Pearl continued to reassure her that she was safe. Fame seemed to calm, closing her eyes again.

"I'm going to go see if I can get an update." I couldn't just sit there doing nothing. I went out to the nurses desk, drumming my fingers on the countertop as I waited for someone to come by.

"Can I help you?" The nurse looked up from her stack of papers and then did a double take, she smiled, "hey, aren't you Phi Phi O'Hara?"

"Guilty as charged." I joked with a little grin back.

"Are you ok? I just got here and I'm playing catch up," she waved a hand at the stack of clipboards and paper-laden file folders, she frowned, "are you sick? What can I do?"

"I'm fine, Fame is here and she's not so fine. Pearl and I were wondering when we would get to talk to the Dr and if we could take her back to the hotel tonight."

"Oh Fame and Pearl are here too? I'm sorry Fame isn't well, I know the doctor just got here too, let me go check with her. I'll be right back." She rifled through the files for a minute til she found one that had Kurtis Dam-Mikelson on the front and took off to the back. She was gone for maybe 5 minutes, she came out with a troubled look on her face and I knew she had read what happened to Fame, I hoped she wouldn't tell anyone. "So Dr Fisher will be in in about 5 minutes, it's a safe bet you'll be able to take her home with you...well back to the hotel."

I smiled, "when you travel as much as we do, our home is each other instead of a place."

"Aww that's lovely. Ok well tell Fame I hope she feels better. I'm so sorry about what happened to her! Now, you might want to prepare her that a counsellor will probably want to talk to her before she goes, it's policy in cases of violent crimes. Oh I feel so bad!" She had tears in her eyes, "sorry, I'm not usually all emotional like this, I just feel like you guys are like...like friends...like I know you."

I echoed my statement from earlier that I had said to Pearly, "hey, it's ok to not be ok!" I gave her a lame little pat on the back and walked away. It wasn't that her words or display of emotion bothered me, I just wanted to get back to Fame and Pearly. I didn't know if they had eaten since the pizza this afternoon, I mean Fame was asleep but Pearl hadn't had more than half a piece of pizza all day that I had noticed. I doubted that she had left Fame's side to seek out food or water.

Chapter 178

Pearl’s POV

“WHAT? BUT THAT’S BULLSHIT!” I blurted out to the cops, balling my hands into fists and standing up from the chair so quickly that it made a loud scraping noise.

Fame was crumpled in on herself, sobbing while she held her arms around her chest. After recounting every ugly word and blow from the two assholes that put us in this predicament, all the cops could say was we should have filed it in Idaho where it had happened.

Officer Elise Jacks had looked miserable as she told us the creeps would only get a slap on the wrist for assault rather than a more serious sentence for a hate crime if they WERE caught and convicted. Gay people aren’t a protected class in Idaho like we are in Washington State. (AN this is actually disgustingly true, same with Trans people, gender in general is not a protected class per Idaho Statute 18-7902 Updated July 1st, 2017)

“Watch your language young man!” Sergeant Smith barked and puffed up immediately. His face went even redder and a vein in his forehead bulged.

I opened my mouth to respond but Fame choked out, “Pearl no. Don’t!” She reached out a hand and wrapped it around my wrist.

“Sorry.” I mumbled, knowing it would just make things worse if this asshole of a cop decided to flex his authority and arrest me. He seemed like the type.

“Sergeant, can I speak to you for a minute?” Officer Jacks asked, pulling the stout man aside to have whispered conversation. The Sergeant tipped his hat and quickly left the room without another word.

“Sorry about him,” she looked embarrassed, “and I’m sorry that there aren’t National laws about hate crimes. I’m sorry that those men did that to you Mr Dam-Mikkelsen.”

“Thank you.”

“Ok we have your contact information and we’ll be in touch.” She turned to leave.

“Wait...please?”She paused in between the parted curtains and looked back at us. Fame continued, “I don’t think I want to bother pressing charges.”

“FAME! NO! You can’t do that!”

I yanked my arm out of her grip way too harshly and immediately regretted it when she doubled in on herself but she exploded before I could apologize.

“Why the HELL not?! It happened to ME! It’s MY body that’s hurt! They’re not going to FIND them and I’ll just be waiting for calls to be reminded of what happened and that we don’t matter.” Her voice took on a hysterical tone and the words she said next were rent from her soul as she screamed them before ending in a sob, “WE DON’T MATTER MATT!!” Fame covered her face and wailed, crying so hard she would stop breathing but then it changed to her hyperventilating and her eyes going wide with fear like they had on the bus before she’d fainted.

I pulled her into my chest gently and spoke in her ear. “Okay, Okay! Breathe Kurtis, calm down.” An alarm started to beep rapidly.

“I’ll go get someone, I’ll check in with you later before we file any paperwork!” Officer Jacks disappeared behind the swinging curtain.

It felt like the cubicle got incredibly small as 2 nurses and a Doctor rushed in, one of the nurses pulled me away from Fame as the other 2 worked on her. Slipping an oxygen mask over Fame’s face and cranking a knob on the wall, one injecting meds into Fame’s IV, all speaking medical gibberish that went completely over my head. I felt like my brain was going to explode with the frustration and worry I was feeling.

Fame’s eyes drooped from whatever meds they gave her yet she struggled to stay awake for a few minutes longer until she finally closed her eyes, one hand over her chest. One of the nurses and the Dr left without a second look back. The third went over to look at the monitors and fiddle with Fame’s IV in her arm, she was about to leave without telling me anything.

“Hey, hey, what just happened? I need some information please?”

“We gave him some more pain medication and an antianxiety medication since he seemed to be having a panic attack.”

“Ok, so do we know any results from the tests you did? Am I going to be able to take him home tonight?”

“Yes, you’ll have to ask the Dr about that.”

“Well, can you send him back in?” I said, frustration evident in my voice.

“Oh I’m sure he’s gone but I’ll tell him when I see him dear.” She said patronizingly, patting me on my shoulder before quickly exiting the room. I plunked down in the chair and pinched the bridge of my nose. Fame’s cell started ringing so I sped over and riffled through the pile of neatly folded clothes on a table in the corner. She didn’t even stir.

“Hello? Fame’s phone.” I greeted in a loud whisper.

“Hi, is this Pearl?” Came Patrick’s confused voice. “Where’s Kurtis?”

“He’s here, he’s just resting.”

“He’s still not feeling well? Oh my poor baby! He was telling me you were taking good care of him, thank you. Maybe he should get checked out by a Doctor?”

“He is, we are at the hospital just waiting back on texts. He’s all doped up on pain meds right now so he’s comfortable. They took some blood and did an MRI and an X-Ray so we should know something soon.” I reassured.

“Wait, what?” He asked, sounding perplexed, “I thought Kurtis had the flu or a migraine or something?”

“I thought you talked to him?”

“I texted with him, he was supposed to call me but I never heard back from him, I thought maybe he fell asleep again.” He grumbled and then sighed. “What’s going on Matt?”

“Uh well...um…” I sputtered.

“Matt, just tell me.” He commanded in a clipped voice.

“Ok, sorry. Kurtis was feeling a bit panicky in the little restaurant that we stopped at and then…” So what do I say next? Do I tell him what really happened or the cockamamie story Fame fabricated?

“Matt? You there? And then what?” Patrick insisted.

“Fame tripped and fell.” It wasn’t a total lie.

“Oh no!! Did he hit his head or something?” The concern and panic in his voice was heart wrenching.

“He didn’t hit his head, he scraped up his hands but it is his ribs that I’m worried about. I’m going to make an educated guess that at least a few of them are broken.”

“What should I do? Should I come there?”

“No, I would hold off until we know what kind of condition he is in. I think he wants to stay on the tour if he can and that actually makes sense because there would be someone around to help him all the time and he should only miss a few days of performing because they will suggest that he is active and moving around. If he’s alone, he might not be as active.” There was silence from the other end and I wondered if we’d been disconnected, “Patrick?”

“Uh yeah...um I’m here. I just really don’t know what to say or do.” Patrick’s voice was gruff with emotion.

“I know hun, Fame or I will let you know as soon as we know anything. I promise you that! Hopefully we get some news soon.”

“Yes please.” He sniffed, “can you tell Kurtis to call me when he wakes up? Whether you have news or not. I just need to hear his voice.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Thank you for looking after him Matt, I just can’t thank you enough. I’ll have my phone on me. Bye for now.”

“Bye Patrick, try not to worry. He’s in good hands.” I clicked the phone off and sat back down, pocketing Fame’s phone incase it rang again.

I pulled out my phone and sent Phi Phi a quick message that we still had no news. She wouldn’t get it for a bit since the show was going to start shortly.