#rapmonsta

He leans back onto the headboard, bare chest exposed to the cold breeze of the open window but he has no reaction at all.

His phone lays face down on the nightstand, light peeking out from the small gap between the screen and the wood.

Your hands begin to tense beyond your control, and it feels like you might pass out.

"Jungkook..." You sit on the edge of the bed, feeling the core of your very soul shattering to pieces as the words leave your lips, "If you don't let me look...we're done."

He looks at you for a moment, and in those few seconds, you think maybe, just maybe, he'll cave but the moment comes and goes, and he makes no move other than to reach over to grab his box of cigarettes.

Your shoulders drop and the tears start to well up in your eyes, "Alright."

Without another word, you stand up and pull the extra blanket to wrap yourself with, feeling far too bare, too vulnerable before his gaze.

You gather your things and toss them onto the dresser, about to get on packing it all into your bag though you grab your clothes first and quickly make your way over to the bathroom.

Your head is racing with so many thoughts, all of them mashing together into a giant mass.

In the privacy of the bathroom, you let the blanket drop to the floor and you stare at yourself in the mirror.

Your eyes are puffy and red, nose matching the same shade. What is he hiding? What could he possibly be hiding that he wouldn't want me to see...?

You know the answer to that question. Gut feelings, intuition, the universe- for so long, everyone had been screaming for you to wake up.

But how could you wake up? How could you even will your eyes to open, when he has been the most beautiful dream you've ever had?

How could he have turned into such a nightmare...?

Before you can realize what you're doing, you're swinging the bathroom door open- you can practically hear your heartbeat in your ears but you ignore it. When you come back into the bedroom, he's still there where you left him though his cigarette is half gone.

This time though, his posture is different; leaned forward, hair messier as though he'd run his fingers through it- and his eyes... they looked sad.

"Jungkook."

He looks up at you and the coldness in his eyes are gone.

"This is the last time I'm going to ask you to let me look."

He looks down at the comforter covering his legs, "Why?"

"You know why."

This time there is no hesitation as he reaches out with his phone in his hand, urging you to take it.

When you do grab hold of it, you realize your pulse has moved from your chest to your very fingertips.

The phone almost feels like it weighs a hundred pounds in your shaking hands.

You hold the screen up to his face to unlock it and then it begins. A frenzy of pure anxiety, you tear through his phone with ferocity- the taste of metal beginning to fill your mouth as your practically biting through your bottom look.

At first there's nothing; you you comb through his social media, then his apps, and lastly his texts.

Mom, dad, sister, brother- ordinary messages with absolutely nothing; you almost feel like an insane person. He was telling the truth? This whole time?

You let your hands drop into your lap, the shaking having subsided substantially. You feel embarrassed and ashamed.

"You see?" He says from behind you, "Nothing."

You don't respond, you just sit for a moment with the fact that you've made a complete fool of yourself. A minute goes by of total silence, though it feels like at least 10 before you finally speak, "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me..."

"It's okay, my love." His voice is soft and warm, and it makes you want to turn and bury yourself into his chest. The comfort and solace of his presence has always been enough for you- you bring the screen back up and let out a deep breath, intent on locking it and handing it back but then you remember- "wait."

Time comes to a screeching halt as your thumb hovers over the 'deleted messages' feature which only appears when there have been messages deleted in the first place.

You're not sure but you think that you can hear Jungkook's heartbeat now too.

"Y/n."

You ignore him. "Y/N."

You can't even hear him even if you wanted to; all you hear is the sound of your heart breaking in two.

The night you met him, rain was pouring down like you'd never seen; In hindsight, probably an omen of what was to come.

You were drenched and, not having expected rain that day, you'd forgone a coat over your dress. The usually packed city streets were emptying rather quickly as people ran into different shops to find some sort of shelter, and you did the same. You'd settled under an awning, crossing your arms over your chest as you watched on in horror. "How the hell am I getting home...?" You muttered, kicking the toe of your shoe into the ground.

Suddenly, the door to the business you were standing in front of swung open, bumping into your side. "Watch it," You said irritatedly, furrowing your brows. "Oh my- I'm so sorry. I didn't see you-" A man emerged from behind the door, a bag hanging from his left wrist while the right held his partially opened umbrella. He wore a nice gray suit, though his tie was loose around his neck and his coat sat ON his shoulders rather than him wearing it. He looked oddly familiar...

"It's fine," You said, stepping back to give him more space. You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and then turned your attention back to the rain.

"Are you alright?" He asked, letting the door close, though he made no move to fully open the umbrella. Probably for fear he'd stab you in the eye with such close proximity. You sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine." "This rain is ridiculous, isn'r it?" "Tell me about it," You responded, glancing over at him. "I can't help but notice you don't have a coat." You shook your head. "Nope. The weatherman really let me down."

He chuckled, "Well, lucky for you- I'm always prepared." With one swift motion, he took the coat off of his shoulder and held it out to you, "You should take it."

Shocked by his very random stroke of generosity, you shook your head, "Oh no- I couldn't take that. You need it."

"Just take it," He said, shaking the coat gently. "Really, it's fine. My car's just right there so I'll be fine."

You hesitated for only a moment more, though when you looked back at the unceasing rain, you finally conceded, "Alright- thank you."

You grabbed the coat and put it on; the warmth was instant and inviting Comparable to a bowl of hot soup, in terms of comfort. "Of course. Now, I'd offer you a ride to wherever you need to be but I'm positive you'll turn me down, which I don't blame you for because you don't even know me and, for all you know, I could be some psycho- though I assure you I'm definitely not-" He caught himself rambling and decided to stop before he dug a hole for himself, "Anyway- with that, I will bid you adieu," He said, shooting you a warm smile.

As he was about to step out from under the awning, you found yourself reaching out to stop him, your fingers pinching the fabric of his sleeve gently, "Uh- wait," Your cheeks were getting hot as you spoke, "How can I get you coat back to you?"

"Don't worry about it. Consider it as a gift," He shrugged. "No, really. I want to be able to return it." He chuckled, "Well, if you want to return it that bad, there's a business card in the left pocket. It has my work phone number and business email."

"Okay, thank you," You said sheepishly. "No problem. I look forward to you reaching out- Er, to return the coat, of course," His smirk was unmissable, though you definitely pretended not to see it.

Without another word, he stepped out into the rain, droplets temporarily staining his gray blazer as he walked over to a beautiful little '76 Silver Shadow Rolls Royce.

Your eyes widened at the sight, immediately interested in knowing who the hell that man was. Your hand shot into the coat pocket to fish out the business card and you brought it up to read.

"Kim Namjoon..." You whispered, "Why does that sound so familiar..."

"What did he smell like!?" Your best friend, B/f/n asked, the speaker on your phone practically distorting her voice from how loud she was being.

You laughed, "I don't know, dude. I wasn't even that close to him." You set your phone up against the carton of milk so that she could see you eating your nightly bowl of cereal. "Ugh, you're the worst at details. How am I supposed to live vicariously through you if you can't even tell me what he smelled like!?" She threw herself backwards on her bed. You laughed, "I think you're a bit more invested than I am." "Oh please. You're the only woman on Earth who can have meet-cute in the pouring rain with a handsome stranger, and not fall head over heels? Yeah, Okay," She rolled her eyes, her sarcastic tone unmissable.

"You know it's so weird, I feel like I recognize him from somewhere but I can't put my finger on it." "Well, did you get a name?" "Uhm, yeah actually- well, technically I did. It was on a card he'd left in the coat pocket. Has his business email and everything," You said with a shrug. Suddenly, she seemed to freeze- her eyes staring dead at you. "B- B/f/n?" You ask, furrowing your brow, "Did you freeze?" "GOOGLE HIM, YOU GOOF!" She yelled out exasperatedly. "GOOGLE! YES!" You felt incredibly dumb not having thought of it yourself.

"I swear, Y/n, if your head wasn't screwed on..." She let out a loud sigh. "Shut up."

You got up from the kitchen table and ran over to the living room to retrieve the card from the pocket. "Okay, so it says his name is Kim, Namjoon." "Kim Namjoon..." She repeats as though she's tasting each syllable, "It does sound kinda familiar." "Mhm," You focused on typing his name into the search bar and when you do-

"Oh my God." "What?" She asked, practically shoving her entire forehead into her camera, "What'd you find?"

"Dude... it's Kim Namjoon- as in, OUR STATE SENATOR, KIM NAMJOON."

"Wait- what? There's no way. Dude probably used a fake card," She scoffed. You shook your head violently, having scrolled through various images of him accepting awards and cutting ribbons. "This is the guy, I swear to you."

"You're sure?" "Yes-" You opened another tab and opened up your email, "Look, I'll prove it." You immediately began typing, intent on getting more information on this supposed stranger:

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐌𝐫.𝐊𝐢𝐦, 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 Y/n (𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫). 𝐈'𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐝𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

"Now, we wait."

The next morning, you'd woken up bright and early, having expected to see a response when you'd looked at your phone though you were surprised to see a absolutely nothing. You shrugged it off, telling yourself he was probably just busy and hadn't had the chance to check his email. You went about your day, driving to work and sitting at your desk, answering calls, in and out of meetings; you almost forgot all about that email when the notification finally showed up on your work computer screen.

Immediately, you scrambled to open it.

𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐘/𝐧. 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭. 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭, 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 𝐒𝐚𝐲, 𝟔𝐩𝐦? 𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. -𝐊𝐍

You bit your lip, unsure of what to respond, though admittedly, you already felt the butterflies at the thought of seeing him again.

𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭. 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫.

Not a minute after hitting send, he had already responded with the name and address of the coffeeshop. You didn't respond afterward, but you had a hard time focusing on anything else for the remaining 4 hours of work- and when 5:30 came around, you were packing up quickly and rushing out to your car.

When you got to the coffee shop, there was almost no parking at all; seeing as how the business was smack dab in the center of down town, you had to drive around a couple of times before a space finally opened up.

You were already feeling flustered, bagged coat hanging over your shoulder as you looked for the door to the coffeeshop.

Once you found it, you had to brace yourself so that you could look as calm and collected as possible. When you opened the door, your heart skipped a beat as you saw him there looking completely engulfed in whatever was projected on the laptop screen in front of him. You didn't even really want to disturb such a beautiful sight.

After a moment, he glanced up, immediately noticing you and waving you over to him.

You gave a small smile and proceeded to walk toward him, getting more and more nervous with every step. "Hey," He said with a smile, "You made it." "Yup, I made it." "Please, sit." He motioned to the seat across from him, flashing you a polite smile that revealed two prominent dimples. "Are you sure? I don't want to intrude on your work." "Oh, it's fine. I'm just being an overachiever anyway." "Well then," You draped the coat over the top of the chair and sat down, "as long as I'm not imposing." "Not at all. Would you like a coffee?" "Coffee would be great." "Coming right up," He said, standing up and taking his wallet out of his back pocket, "I'll be right back."

He walked over to the register, and you took the opportunity to just look at him. The day before under the awning, he was a handsome stranger- unexpected and mysterious, but even now that you knew who he was, the allure was ever present. "Here you go," He snapped you back down to Earth as he handed you your cup of coffee. The delicious warmth traveled through your hands and to the rest of your body. "Oh God, Thanks- I didn't realize how cold it was today until I touched this cup." He nodded, "I know- but hey, at least it didn't rain this time." "True- I'd have been in the same position as yesterday since I still haven't learned my lesson of bringing a jacket in the car with me." He laughed, "And I'm fresh out." "Do you make a regular habit of doing that?" "Doing what?" "Giving your coat to strange girls in the pouring rain?" "Goodness- when you say it like that, you make me sound like a creep," He laughed, taking a sip from his cup. "Are you?" You asked, only half kidding as you narrowed your eyes at him. "Definitely not. You just looked, I don't know..." He trailed off, seemingly lost in thought for a moment. "Cold?" "Exactly," He said, a visible smirk on his face. "Well, I appreciated the gesture." "Any time."

There was a moment of silence, but it didn't feel uncomfortable at all. You could feel him looking at you, but you didn't squirm under his gaze the way you usually would have with anyone else.

"I just realized I never asked for your name," He said, a soft expression on his face that gave you that butterfly feeling from before. "Y/n." "Y/n," He repeated, "Nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm-" "Kim, Namjoon," You finished for him. He laughed to himself, "Of course, you knew that." "Of course... You know, I googled you last night." "Oh?" He raised an eye brow, seemingly intrigued, "And what were your findings?" His expression was smug. Of course he knew what came up. "Well, you're in politics, for one, you live in one of the most populous cities in the state, two dogs, a wife..." Your eyes met his, gaging his reaction to the last statement, though he didn't look like he'd gotten caught at all, "And yeah, that's basically it." "That's all? No social security number? Criminal record?" You chuckled, "Guess I gotta do a bit more homework." "Well, what about you?" He asked. "What about me?" "Well, you know all this stuff about me now, but I can't just Google you. So tell me about who you are, Y/N," The way he said your name made your heart skip a beat, though you tried to ignore it. "There's not really much to know," You shrugged, "I mean, I live in an apartment not far from here. I hold a crappy position at a crappy call center. No pets (because my apartment won't let me), I like to cook, I dabble in photography, and I sing a mean karaoke." "Nice- I love a good karaoke session, myself. Don't let me around a mic after I've had a few bottles because I will sing SZA's greatest hits on a loop." "Hey, SZA's awesome." "Tell me more about this job," He said, leaning forward and propping himself up with an elbow on the table. You sighed, "I mean, it's just kind of a regular mundane job, you know? I get to the call center, sit at my desk for a few hours wearing the most uncomfortable headset known to man, hit my quota for the day and then pack it all up to do it again the next day." "Sounds like hell." "Oh trust me, it's worse." "Well you know," He seemed to hesitate but only for a split second, "I have an opening right now for a personal assistant. I know it doesn't seem like a luxurious position but the pay is great and you're not stuck behind a desk all day. I don't know if that's something you'd be interested in." You thought for a moment, letting the idea marinade, "I don't know...I've never really done that before." "It's not really something you need a lot of experience in, really. You run basic errands but also help me fill out some paperwork and take notes during meetings. You follow me around and just kinda hang out until I need something," He chuckled, "Maybe that makes it less appealing." "No, that actually sounds kind of interesting." "Well, hey, if you're interested, I can email you the link to the application and you can give it some thought. Sound good?" "I think that'd be great, thank you." "Of course," He smiled, those dimples making yet another appearance. Get a grip. He's married. He held his watch up to look at the time and furrowed his brows, "Well, I've actually gotta get going." "Yeah me too," You lied, slightly disappointed that he was leaving already, but not at all wanting to show it. He shoved his laptop into its case and stood up, fixing his tie and smoothing out his shirt. You also stood up, grabbing the coat from the back of your chair, "Your coat, sir," You extended your arm and urged for him to take it, which he promptly did. "Why, thank you," He smiled, "It was nice talking to you, Y/n." You smiled back, "Likewise, Mr.Kim." "Oh please, call me Namjoon." "Alright them, Namjoon it is." "Here, I'll walk you to your car." "You don't have to," You tried to deter him, but just as he did the day before when you tried to reject his offer of the coat, he waved you away, "What kind of man would I be if I just let you walk to your car alone. Don't be silly." You walked down the block in that same comfortable silence and when you'd gotten to your car, you turned to him to say your goodbyes, "Thank you for escorting me to my vehicle," You said, jokingly trying

to sound sophisticated. "'Twas no trouble at all. Hey, listen- I'll send you the email with the application later tonight but in case you need it, let me pass on my number." "Okay, sure," You took out your phone and passed it to him, "Type it in." He took the phone and proceeded to tap away. He handed it back and then stuck his hand out, "Talk soon?" He asked. You took his hand, and immediately it was like electricity circulating throughout your body. "Definitely," You said, feeling yourself getting shy. He gave a slight bow and then turned around back down the street on his way back to that same car he'd driven the day before. When you got into your own car, you had to sit for a few minutes to try to process this very unexpectedly pleasant evening. "I've gotta call B/f/n," You said excitedly, turning the key in the ignition and racing back home.