#raphael varane fluff

"Hello, bonjour! You're going to have another Frenchie with you on the team soon", says Alessia when she sits next to me at breakfast.

"What do you mean? Who are we signing?"

"Well, not us as in our team. But like, United".

"Can you speak simple English? It's too early for riddles".

"The men's team is signing Varane".

I almost choke on the apple I'm eating.

"They are what?"

"Why do you look so terrified? Do you not like him?"

That's not exactly the problem. "I just didn't see that coming. Huge singing, though".

Alessia nods and starts to eat. But I can only think about Rapha being here…in Manchester. In Carrington. Especially after what happened the last time we met. And also the previous one. And the one before that…

                                **

A couple of days later, we are at Old Trafford for the first match of the season. United vs Leeds. Should be fun.

But before the match starts, I notice a lot of commotion near the tunnel.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, you know. Varane is going to say hi to the fans. He'll come here after he's done", says Katie.

Why am I the last one to find out about everything? Oh right, because he hasn't answered any of my calls or texts.

When Rapha goes out to the pitch, he's holding his new shirt. Number 19, like me.

The whole event gives me an excuse to stare at him. God, he looks so good. That suit he's wearing looks perfect on him. And his smile…I need to stop. That's what got me in trouble before.

"He's so hot", I hear one of my teammates say.

"Who said that?", my tone is harsher than I meant.

"Me?", says Ella, scared by my question.

"No, I didn't mean you. I thought I heard someone insulting us. Don't mind me. English is still hard to understand for me".

English isn't hard to understand for me, and they know it. But they allow me to use it as an excuse.

"I'm going to the toilet before the match starts".

I need to splash some cold water on my face. I can't spend my days acting like this because he's here now.

"Salut, ma belle" (hello, my beautiful).

"You don't answer any of my messages for days and now you come here and call me pretty names? Not very nice, is it?"

"I didn't want to talk to you on the phone but in person".

"Why?", I say, noticing I'm moving closer to him. Damn it! It's like he has a magnet.

"Because I love seeing the way you blush whenever we are together. You're adorable".

"I'm going back with my friends".

"Mon ange, sit with me" (my angel).

"They don't know we know each other, Rapha".

"Who cares? We are both French. It makes sense that I want to be with someone who speaks my language".

I try to go back to my seat because I don't trust myself near him. But he's not a quitter. I soon notice my arm being grabbed by one of his big hands and he moves me to a corner where no one can see us.

"I've missed you, ma belle".

"I haven't".

He nods, laughing and leaning down to kiss me. And of course, I offer no resistance and kiss him back immediately.

"I like it when you don't miss me", he smiles, pressing his forehead against mine.

"It's that stupid suit you're wearing".

"Do you like it?"

I nod, hypnotized by his eyes staring into mine.

"I might let you take it off me later…if you're a good girl".

I roll my eyes and follow him, noticing he's going the wrong way. So I’m now the one that takes his arm and leads him to our seats.

When we get back to my teammates, I introduce them to Rapha.

"So you knew each other?", asks Leah, raising an eyebrow.

"We've seen each other a few times at the French Federation".

He nods, smiling at all of them.

The match is fun. Six goals and the fans are incredibly loud the whole time. It's one of the biggest rivalries in England and it shows.

But for me, the match is also a big challenge. Rapha can't stop leaning to whisper in my ear. I tell Katie we are just chatting about the match, but we aren't.

"Can you stop? This isn't the place".

So he stops…only to start pressing his leg against mine. To anyone, he's just a typical man thinking his legs being spread takes priority over everyone else's comfort, but I know him. He's doing it on purpose because I'm wearing very short shorts. So I can feel the fabric of his trousers on my skin, bringing back so many memories.

"Arrêt!" (stop!)

"Je veux pas" (I don’t want to).

Our little stare contest is interrupted by the referee signalling the end of the match and we both get up to clap the team.

"Come home with me tonight, please", he whispers in my ear. And I can't say no. He knows I can’t say no to him.

                               **

I wake up when I feel strong arms around my waist, pulling me closer to the body next to mine.

"Bonjour", he says while kissing my neck.

I just close my eyes and enjoy the moment, leaning back, closer to him.

"What do you say to breakfast in bed?"

It's not the first time he offers that but it's the first I accept.

"Sure. I can help you make it".

"No, you stay here. I'll be right back".

When he's gone, I get up to go to the bathroom and pick up one of his shirts to wear. I don't even know where mine is.

Soon, he opens the door again, tray in hand.

"Is that just for me?"

"Yes, I'll just have coffee now and I'll eat at Carrington. I have training in an hour and a half. You?"

"Same".

"I can drive you there", he offers.

"I need to get back home and pick up my things. And it'll get people talking if we arrive there together".

He only nods and takes his coffee again to have a couple of sips.

"Do you want more fruit?"

Ever since I was a kid, I've always had dessert before the main food.

"No, I'm good. Maybe when I'm done with the omelette".

So I start eating but when I'm about to put the third piece of food in my mouth, he speaks again.

"You didn't ask me why I signed for United".

"Why did you?"

"Well, I wanted a new challenge and to play in a new league. But I had no idea where to go and then United called me".

"Not surprised they jumped at the chance to sign you, really".

"And I said yes before they even said more about their offer".

I notice his eyes on me and turn to look at him.

"Why?"

"Because you are here".

I drop the fork, startling myself with the noise.

"Sorry".

But when I look at him again, he's just smiling.

"I never wanted us to just have a casual sex type of relationship but the distance didn't make anything else possible. Now…we are in the same city".

I nod, not knowing what else to say. It's true that it never really felt like just that. I mean, we do text a lot and care about each other's lives and careers. That's why it hurt so much to see he didn't even tell me about coming to United.

"What are you trying to say, Rapha?"

"That I want us to be a real couple, ma chérie. But if you just want something casual…I guess I can try but I can't lie and pretend I'm happy with that" (my darling).

I move the tray to the floor, so I don't knock it with my legs when I move. And then I sit on his lap.

"I want us to be a real couple too".

"You do?"

I nod and lean down to kiss him. I have dreamt of this moment more times than I'll admit.

"But let's keep it private for a while, ok? Our teammates can be really annoying".

"I can do that…even if it'll be hard to keep my hands to myself when I see you around Carrington".

“Well, you don’t have to keep them to yourself when it’s just the two of us”.

                                  **

I somehow manage to concentrate enough on training. My head is definitely somewhere else. But not too far because the men train on the pitch next to ours.

"Can you come with us for a second?"

"Me? Sure".

I would rather go to the shower but I follow the lady who came to pick me up. And when I get to the pitch she's leading me to, I see Rapha is there too. Did they already find out about us?

"Why are we here?", I ask him.

"Relax. They just want a photo of their two French number 19 together".

"Oh".

He laughs at my worried face. I mean, it's not as if it's forbidden for us to be together but I don't want to have to give explanations to my employers about my love life.

"Ok, hold your shirts and smile".

We do and the photographer takes a few photos.

"Perfect", he says. And we move to go back to the dressing room. We're both sweaty from our training.

Rapha lets me walk in front of him and when we get to the door, he places his hand on the small of my back. He removes it quickly realising how that might look.

"We're not even going to make it past day 1 without people knowing".

                               **

"We were always trying to get you to hang out with us more but you always found excuses. What changed?", asks me Paul while we are having food in the canteen. It's true that I'm spending more time with my fellow countrymen now but he's exaggerating.

"I ate here with you two plenty of times. And we've been to so many parties together. Don't make up stories".

"Not as many times as you do now…".

"I think she likes Rapha better than she likes us", adds Tony.

I just shake my head. Even if they are right.

"Can you blame her?", asks them Rapha, making us all laugh.

He also puts his hand under the table to stop my leg from bouncing like it does whenever I'm nervous.

"So, should we have the party this week or the next? I need to know when to invite people".

"I don't know, Tony. Both dates work for me", I say. I love his parties.

"Invite some cute boys, we need to find her a boyfriend", laughs Paul. And I can notice Rapha's hand stops caressing my thigh when he hears that.

"I already have one", I say, making them overreact.

"Since when? Who? We need to give him our approval".

"I'm pretty sure you'll love him. But he's not ready to meet you guys yet. He's a bit shy".

"I'm sure he's a great guy", says Rapha trying not to laugh.

"So many hearts will be broken in the national team after this news".

Paul is always talking about all the players from our country that, according to him, fancy me so I'm not surprised by his comment.

"Yeah, well. They'll have to deal with it", says Rapha, and the little hint of jealousy I can detect makes me smirk.

After lunch, we all go back to pick up our things to leave. Rapha and I are using the excuse of us living close to one another to drive together. Also, he's still not used to the city and driving on the left so I've offered to help him. Very selfless of me.

Without warning, he pulls me to the side when he finds a little corner where we can hide and he starts to kiss me.

"Someone could see us".

"They won't", he says, before kissing me again.

"Are you jealous of the attention I get from other players on the national team?", I tease.

"Don't…".

"I didn't know you could get so possessive and jealous. Who's the one that you hate the most right now, then?"

"If you don't stop that", he says, while still kissing my neck, "I'll go on the WhatsApp group right now to tell them about us".

But that only makes me laugh…and I'm not the only one laughing.

I push him away from me when I hear a familiar laugh and steps coming closer.

"What are you two doing here?", asks Alessia while Ella looks at us suspiciously.

"Finding good WiFi", I say, realising I still have my phone in my hand. "I need to send a message but it won't go through".

"And you need help for that?", asks Ella, pointing at Rapha.

He thankfully reacts quickly by grabbing my phone and moving it higher.

"We're trying different heights to see if it works".

"Is this a French thing or is it just you being weird?", asks Alessia.

"Definitely a them thing", says Ella, still staring at us.

My mum saves the day by sending me a random text that makes my phone ping.

"We got it. See you tomorrow, ladies".

                                **

“Why is everyone obsessed with pairing you two together all the time?”, asks Paul when we tell him we have to do an interview for the French TV after lunch.

“We play in the same position”, I say, while Rapha says “we’re really good-looking”.

“She has a boyfriend, Rapha. Back off”.

He lifts his hands, claiming innocence, and I can only laugh.

After lunch, I go to the dressing room quickly to make sure I look ok. And when I get out, he’s waiting for me.

“Ready?”

“I guess. I’m not really in the mood and my hair looks awful”.

“Come here”, he says, opening his arms.

“Rapha…”.

“Just a friendly pre-interview hug”.

Well, that sounds good. So I hug him and before we separate, he kisses my head.

“You look perfect”.

Everyone is waiting for us and only 5 minutes later, we start the interview.

“I’m guessing it’s pretty helpful to have some French players here who can help you adapt to the new country and team”, asks the reporter.

"Yeah, she definitely helped me a lot when I got here. Her, Paul, and Anthony, of course".

"That's nice. French union in Manchester".

I laugh.

"You both play in the same position. What do you admire the most from each other's style of play?”

We both start to answer at the same time.

"You go first", I say.

"No, you go, ma chérie".

When I hear him, I try not to react to it but can see the presenter staring at us. A bit weird for a colleague and friend to call me that.

"Well, your ball distribution for sure".

“I would say your tackles”, he says, still shocked by the way he messed up. “I would be sent off if I tried to tackle like that, but you do it in a smarter way”.

The reporter continues to ask football questions mostly and I’m worried he’ll use Rapha’s slip to ask something else but he’s a big professional and doesn’t do it.

“Thank you for the interview, guys. I’m sorry it was live or we could have cut that part, you know?”

“It’s fine”, I say. Because it is. We couldn’t keep it a secret forever so who cares? Now people know.

I go join Rapha who is looking at me with his best “I’m sorry" face.

“Don’t worry. It could have happened to me too. And people were going to find out eventually”.

“You sure you don’t mind?”

“I don't”, I say, smiling at him. But before I have time to kiss him, a voice startles us.

"I knew it!", yells Ella. "And it's been confirmed by the French people of Twitter because I obviously have no idea what you two were saying in that video".

"What are you doing?"

Rapha was startled by your words and closed the drawer so fast, he almost hurt his fingers in the process.

"You scared me. Why didn't you knock?"

"Do I need to knock to get inside my room now? I mean, the bathroom I get but the room? Afraid I'll see you naked?"

He laughed at your joke, still staring at the closed drawer on the bedside table. You noticed that but didn't want to overthink what could be going on. You trusted him.

"Should we order some food or cook?"

"Let’s order", he said. "I want a lazy evening".

"I'm not saying no to that but I have to shower first. Order for me, please. You know what I like".

I hope I do, he thought, looking at the drawer again.

                                       **

After a couple of days, you forgot about that odd moment. So when you were walking around the room, talking to Rapha's mum on the phone, you just checked his bedside table without a second thought. It's not as if it was his solely. It was on his side of the bed but there were things that belonged to him on the one on your side too, so…

"Are you still there?"

"Yes", you said, staring at the little box you saw.

"Did you find it?"

Oh, you found that and more.

"Yes, it's here", you told her, picking the piece of paper with the phone number she needed and reading it our loud for her.

When you hung up, you couldn't help it. You had to open the box and what you found there didn't surprise you. It was an engagement ring. That was why he had been so weird lately. And when was he planning on popping the question?

You took the ring out of the box and tried it on. It fit perfectly and it was so beautiful. Not that you were surprised because if someone knew you well, it was your boyfriend. And…future fiancé? It sounded good to you.

Hearing the front door open and close made you panic and you took the ring off quickly and put it back on the box.

“Are you home?”

“Yes! I’ll be there in a second”.

You ran down the stairs and almost launched yourself at Rapha.

“Hi!”, he laughed. “Someone’s missed me”.

“I always miss you”, you said, staring into his eyes. “But we’ll always be together so…I won’t have to miss you much, right?”

He didn’t understand why you were saying that now, oblivious to the fact that you had seen the ring and were feeling very emotional at the moment. But he nodded and kissed you anyway. Because that was his plan too, to be with you for the rest of his life.

But a couple of days later, he got home early and you didn’t notice because you were in the garden with your headphones on. He was going to say hi to you when your phone rang and he stopped walking not wanting to interrupt you. It was probably a work call.

“Hey, Lils. Thanks for calling back”.

Oh, you were talking to your sister. Well, then he could approach you and say hi to her too.

“Yeah, I’m still freaked out after seeing the ring”.

She’s seen it?, he thought, scared of what your reaction could have been.

“I know. He hasn’t asked me yet, which is good”.

Why was it good?

“Yeah, I need to do something before he does. But it could happen any minute and I’m panicking”.

You could mean many things by that. Maybe you wanted to wear something special and planned on going shopping. You were really into your fashion.

“I know. I just know I can’t let him propose”.

Why would you say that?

Rapha didn’t want to hear more. It was going to make him feel sick. Why didn’t you want him to propose? You were happy, right? It had been almost three years of relationship with barely any bumps in the road. You rarely fought and…you were talking about always being together just two days ago. Had seeing the ring made you have doubts about the relationship?

Rapha decided to go upstairs. He needed to stay away from you for a second to think clearly.

By the time you made it back to your room, he was lying down on the bed with his arms on his face.

“I didn’t know you were here. Are you ok?”

You rushed to his side, fearing he was sick.

“Yeah, just feeling a little dizzy”.

“Do you need anything? Some water, food…I don’t know. Just tell me and I’ll get it for you”.

But he just stared at you. How could you look so worried about him while you were thinking about refusing his proposal to marry him?

“My love, what’s wrong?”

“I think I have a headache. You should leave me alone so I can sleep”.

“I could cuddle you. Maybe massage your temples”, you offered.

“I would rather be alone”.

His attitude surprised you but you guessed everyone was a bit grumpy when dealing with a headache so didn’t worry too much about it and left him alone.

But Rapha didn’t sleep. He kept hearing your words over and over again. “I just know I can’t let him propose”. Why?

He faked sleeping the few times you went to check on him but he knew you’d be able to tell he was awake when you joined him in bed later.

“You should eat something. I can fix you something quickly…”.

“I’ll go get it. It’d be good to move a bit”.

He left without even looking at you. Why was he so weird all of a sudden? It had to be more than a headache. But when you asked him, he said everything was fine. And you wanted to believe it but he was a terrible liar.

“Do you need anything before I sleep?”

He shook his head and you got inside the bed, instinctively moving closer to him to cuddle. And even though he stiffened a bit when you first touched him, he let go of that fear of losing you for a second so he could enjoy the moment. He didn’t understand why you said what you said, but he could feel how much you loved him. And that had to count for something, right?

                                           **

Things were slowly going back to normal but you could still feel Rapha being a bit distant. You just didn’t understand why and he wouldn’t tell you either. So your mind went to the only possible option…he wasn’t going to propose. He changed his mind. So…should you even continue with your plan? Or was it going to lead to heartbreak?

“I’m off to the office”, you told him, kissing his cheek. “Will you be back tonight at the usual time?”

“Yes”.

“Don’t be late, please”.

“Ok?”, he was confused by your request. “Is there a reason for that?”

“I just…we need to talk. And…yeah. Just be on time”.

Talk? He thought you were going to bring up the ring. Surely, it had to be that. But your tone was so strange, he feared there was more.

“Ok”, was the only thing he could say.

“See you later. I love you”.

“I love you too”.

But then why were you acting like this if you loved him? His head was a mess full of all the worst outcomes. And so training was a nightmare. He couldn’t concentrate and just wanted to get back home to you. But he also feared coming back home to you.

You were also so nervous. What if this didn’t work out? What if he hated it or felt offended by what you did? But you wanted to do it.

“Rapha?”, you asked when you heard the door open but no more sounds. “Don’t come closer!”

Closing the door to the living room, you ran to the front door where a confused boyfriend was staring at you.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“What? What would make you think that?”

“Why don’t you want to marry me?”

Where was he getting these ideas from?

“Who says I don’t? Rapha, what are you talking about?”

“I heard you speak to your sister and say you didn’t want me to propose”.

That was why he was acting so strange. You felt such relief knowing the cause for his behaviour that a small smile appeared on your face.

“Is it funny?”

“Stop talking and come with me”, you said, extending your hand for him but he wasn’t sure what to do. “Please. You’ll understand it all if you follow me”:

He finally took your hand and you led him to the living room, where a few packages were placed on the floor.

“What’s that?”

“Open them. Start with 1 and finish with 11”.

So he did that. When he opened the first one he saw an old shirt of his he had forgotten about and one photo.

“Turn it around so you can read the back”.

He followed your orders and started to read, which confused him even more. The photo was one taken on your first trip together and the shirt was one you wore to bed every night you were there. And that you stole before returning home. On the back of the photo, you told him about how much that trip had meant to you. You reminisced about some of the best moments you experienced there as well.

“Number 2 now?”

You nodded.

On each little package, there was a photo and an object that was attached to the memory portrayed in the photo. You could see him smile reading your words and your heart was so full of love for him at that moment.

He took number 11, your number, but you stopped him.

“I picked 11 because that’s our anniversary, 11th of November. Our lucky number. And…what day is it today?”

“The 11th”, he said, realising at that moment.

“Yes. I want to marry you, Rapha. Of course I want to, you idiot. But when I saw the ring by mistake…I didn’t want you to propose to me. We’ve never been a couple that does things the traditional way, have we?”

“No”, he chuckled.

“So I wanted to be the one who proposed to you”, he looked at you, surprised but not too much. It did sound like something you would do. “Open number 11”.

He did and was confused to see a couple of dried flowers but instead of asking, he just picked up the photo to see what it meant. It was a photo of you two at your sister’s wedding. You didn’t catch the bride’s bouquet but the friend who did took a couple of flowers off it for you. Rapha smiled remembering that moment and how you dried the petals to keep forever.

He then turned the photo and saw a very simple question. One he had been planning to ask: would you marry me?