#raphael crack

Oh, the irony.

Some unnamed deity somewhere far off must be laughing their ass off at your horrific predicament.

Is there a worse way to spend your Friday night? There couldn't be.

"Uh, hey, guys!" stuttered a nervous voice over the comm, "It's Donnie!" obviously, who else could it be, you thought as you rolled your eyes, "So, uh, I got the error report back and uhm..." the amount of stuttering in those three sentences led you to believe that you're cooked, positively screwed, and frankly, fucked!

"Just spit it out, four-eyes!"

Oh, you can well and truly, fuck off, sir!

But you said nothing, as per usual. You kept your manners on you, or so you thought, at least.

"Well..." the same uncertain voice of Donatello came through the speaker again, sounding very much like he was preparing to be yelled at, before quickly blurting out "You might have to stay in there for a few hours."

“A FEW HOURS!?!?!” two distinct voices shouted through the comm at the poor box turtle on the other side, and the moment your ears registered the other one, your eyes met, and for the first time in a while the sight didn’t fill you with resentment. At least you could agree on that.

“Just… just hang in there, I have to figure out what’s wrong first, before I can fix anything.”

Beep!

He hung up?

Did he really fucking hang up?!

As you seethed silently, you could hear some shuffling, a displeased grunt, and a sharp bang of something hard against the back of the elevator which made you jump to face the source of the sound.

Raphael.

Shell against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, as if he needed to look any more massive, his electric eyes, bright, noisy, conflicted, like a condensed version of New York itself, rolled to the back of his head and a sigh of what seemed to be annoyance left him.

If only he wasn’t so mean.

Dead New York silence settled into the small metal box you were currently stuck in, which is when the regret of your actions hit you.

For what and why did you need to test out this thing? It wasn’t for you, it was for the boys so they wouldn’t waste time when an emergency happened. And what was the point of testing an elevator anyway? Well, this obviously, but still, should be pretty linear - if it moves up and down, then it’s good, right? And, why you? Why not Leo? Or Mikey? Or, fuck it, why not all of them? Wouldn’t they need to know if it can carry all of them? You, though, were so eager to help, that once Donnie asked who wants to test it out, you immediately jumped from the couch and ran to him. And then, he did something, which would make you suspect him as a master shitster if you didn't know him better. He said “Cool, but I need someone heavier too. Raph, you up for it?”

What?! Why, Don?!

HOUR 1

The silence was starting to annoy you.

It would have been amazing to have someone to talk to in this stupid fucking box, but no, you only had Raphael here.

Seems like he was getting bored of the quiet as well, because a rhythmic tap-tap-tap came from his side of the elevator.

The tempo and meter reminded you of some retro hip-hop ballad like Be Without You by M. J. Blige, and had this been any other person, had it been any other situation, you would have tapped along, hummed, done something, anything.

But this was just annoying.

“Can you stop?” To your credit, you did try to keep some civility in your voice, though you couldn’t tell if you’d succeeded.

“Can ye stop being obnoxious?”

So much for civility.

“Can you stop being a dick 24/7?

A humorless huff echoed around the metal walls, and you prepared for the sheer snark of whatever he had in store for you next.

“Ain’t nobody forcing you to stay.”

Oh, the cheek of that one.

“If you hadn’t noticed, fuckface, we’re stuck here, 90 feet above the ground. There’s nowhere to go.“ you pointedly turned your back to further face him, performatively isolating yourself in the foot-and-a-half-ish of unencumbered space you had to yourself.

“Emergency Trap Door is always an option.” you could basically feel his smugness at that, carrying his voice to you like a smoke cloud of masculine ego, “Ye can always jump.”

What an insufferable creature.

HOUR 2

“I’m still trying to work out what’s wrong with it.”

“Well, can’t you get us out of here and THEN figure it out?” you asked, pressed for some good news, any good news, but all for naught. Donnie was only giving you more ‘stand by’ and that was perhaps more infuriating.

“Well…no. You’re too far from any floor, so climbing up or down is not really an option, and I can’t risk it collapsing with you in it, because I don’t know if the structure will survive a fall like that… You’ll just have to wait.” he hung up again, though this time you tried to take it as a positive. He wasn’t wasting any time dilly-dallying, he was working on a solution. He’d get you out of this nightmare soon enough.

HOUR 3

How come he hadn’t figured it out yet?

How come this fucking elevator THAT HE MADE was continuously outsmarting him?

Donatello was a technical genius, anyone who’d spent more than an hour with him knew that.

What are the odds that he couldn’t get to the reason for this little mishap?

Could he be in on it?

“Stop that.” growls Raphael, turning his head towards you as if to confirm he’s speaking to you. As if there was anyone else there.

“What?”

“That.” one of his thick-as-a-branch fingers points to your leg at which point you notice it’s bouncing up and down in a never ending cycle.

“I get jittery in confined spaces.” you grumble back, and then mentally scold yourself - you don’t owe him an explanation.

Another huff, this one somehow quieter, “Me too.”

All you could hope for was to get out of there sooner. You didn’t want to see his ‘jittery’.

HOUR 4

You were starting to get sleepy.

In fact you would have fallen asleep had it not been for the constant-fucking-pacing of this giant anger-monster you were stuck with.

His steps were getting progressively more erratic, faster, louder as the minutes went by, and at a certain point the noise stopped being a welcome distraction and turned to a constant reminder of why you should always ask to read the terms of service before agreeing to anything.

The moment you got on the ground, Donnie was toast. He was DEAD!

No, wait! No. You were not going to turn into him. After all, it was his temper tantrums you were most sick of. You refused to stoop to that level.

So, you tried to keep your thoughts positive. Clean. Peaceful.

‘Where should I go?

Coz I’ve been everywhere.

But I have nowhere

But in your arms

Give me a sign

My darlin', let me know

If I should let you go

Or if I should fight’

A slow, gentle tune swayed the disturbed waters of your mind into an arrhythmic lul, with the lyrics of the beautiful lullaby. Your forefinger started to tap the slow waltz into your knee as you had, unbeknownst to you, begun to softly hum the tune.

'There's a place inside my mind

Where you and I can dance

Endlessly you hold on to me

And for the first time in a long time

I'm, I am whole'

"Didn't know you could sing."

You were about to retort but remembered how tired you were, so your body chose for you to ignore it.

It must have been around 2 AM at that point. You remembered your pure intentions to just come by the Lair to meet the boys for 'breakfast' at 8 PM, you stayed around till 10 because it was their day off patrol, and it took a while to get yourself to the door at which point, the nerdy turtle asked you to test out the new elevator.

Shockingly, the urge to spit back at Raphael, to fire back some retort or another, hadn't resurfaced since you went on your mental tangent. Maybe you were just that tired.

"There's a lot we don't know about each other." you stated, still trying to find a comfortable position to get some shut-eye in.

"Yeah? And whose fault is that?" he snickered, but didn't seem to get his own joke as there was no mirth in his voice, no laughter.

And you were frankly too tired to be pissed, though not too tired to be honest.

"Yours."

As you shut your eyes and pulled your hood over to protect them from the harsh cold lighting, another one of his low growls echoed around the small chamber, and despite your weariness, your heart still found a way to jump and speed, perhaps in fear or anxiety, perhaps not.

"Sure, blame me for your fuck-ups. No wonder ya so close to Leo."

Your eyes shot open at those words, blood starting to run hot at the accusation, unbeknownst to you, your body was gearing up for battle.

"The fuck are you talking about?! My fuck-ups? What did I EVER do to you?!" the pitch and volume of your voice raised with every next word, and this time you forced yourself to look at him, to gauge his stance and posture, look for a shit-eating grin that was most definitely there. You knew this guy, he loved to stir shit up.

As your head turned away from the metal wall though, your eyes met an unfamiliar sight.

It was Raphael, alright, he was hard to confuse. But he wasn't his usual hulking presence. In fact, he looked like he was trying to shrink into his shell, his eyes cold and dejected, a far cry from the wild, burning pits of fire you knew.

And a pit started to open up in your stomach. Why did you need to yell at him? Well, you did expect him to yell back, but that doesn't make it okay.

But then his face shifted, gone was the soft frown, gone were the sad eyes, as his brows drew together and his lips pulled back in a vicious sneer, you knew you'd been played.

"Nothing!" you had a sense that this wasn't the end of the sentence, so in your rage you found it in you to wait for a second, see what he'd pull out of his ass, "Other than cold-shoulder me for a year!"

The fuck?

Was he trying to rewrite history in real time?

"I was cold to you?!"

"Yeah!"

"For a month after I met your family, you REFUSED to talk to me! At all! Not a 'hi', no 'what's up' or anything?! But I was cold to you?"

"I did talk to ye!"

"Yeah, on month three!"

"Coz I knew we could trust ye then!"

"Oh?! But you couldn't trust me before?!"

"No! Ye could'a been anyone! Ye could'a been Foot Clan, or Sacks' lackey! Ye could'a been after my family!"

His words struck you like a bag of bricks.

Well, shit.

He had a point.

You could have been anyone.

You didn't think it all came from a need to protect his family.

Sure, he was rude to you for some time, but you now knew why, and a tiny sliver of guilt started to slither through the pile of resentment you had for the man.

Do the right thing, you told yourself. Grow a pair, and admit you were wrong.

"Well… I could have…" you couldn't put the words together to express your regret, but you kept pushing on, you thought he'd appreciate a rough but sincere response far more than something long-winded and fake, "I could've been… more understanding. I didn't know that's what you were worried about. I just thought you were mean to me coz you didn't like me." you tried to fake a giggle by the end of the sentence but it sounded forced so your mouth quickly shut to keep any more of it from escaping.

Your gaze ran cycles around the floor, over your pants, the walls, until you finally got the courage to look up at him.

His eyes were back to the bright electric green you remembered, they almost seemed to glow, in fact,with the shock written all over his face. How have you not seen him like this before?

Gone was the macho-man posturing and peacocking, gone were the aggressive mannerisms, gone and forgotten was the yelling and spitting, the dismissive look of forced superiority. There was just Raphael.

Leo had insisted once that his younger brother was not one for words, he preferred actions.

And as if to confirm that, the turtle's eyes met yours for a fleeting second, the corners of his mouth raising just a fraction and he nodded, perhaps in thanks for the honesty, perhaps for other reasons.

He remained a mystery.

HOUR 5

But why didn't you at least take your bag with you?!

You had snacks in there, your phone was in there, you could use that to listen to music, or fuck it, even played some games.

You were so BORED!

At this point, exhaustion had somehow passed and turned into unadulterated boredom and weariness of your circumstances.

And thee, LIGHTBULB!

"Wanna play 20 questions?" you blurted out towards the napping turtle. You somehow knew he wasn't asleep, he just didn't seem to be, and your assumption turned out to be correct as his eyes opened back up and he raised his he'd from where it was leaning on the wall, to look at you.

"What are ya? 9?" he grumbled back, blinking his eyes to adjust against the harsh lighting.

"You got something better to do, Grumpy?" you fired back, maintaining your rebellious stare.

His head turned, eyes rolled again, and a huffed breath left his scarred lips, but he did look back at you with what seemed to be an indignant agreement.

"Me first." what a shock, "Why'd ya stick around?"

"What do you mean?"

"Us. Why'd ya stick around us?"

You blinked twice at that, a bit surprised he'd go there but…

"You know, people usually start with something like 'What's your favourite colour?'..."

"Just answer the damn question."

"Coz I wanted to be friends with you!" your voice was starting to raise again, and you annoyed yourself with how irritable you were but tried to carry on, "I just thought you were cool and fun to be around, and I've always wanted big brothers, and I really admire what you do for the city." your arms were starting to flail around wildly as your anxiety rose, and maybe you did get a bit too personal, he could still mock your answer, so you thought you'd top it off with a joke," And also… Donnie could help with anything so,,, it's good to have him around."

Another huff, this time when you looked at him a tiny grin had managed to make its way onto his lips, head shaking side to side as if he found your answer somehow endearing. Odd.

"My turn." you state excitedly. Another eye roll and you were starting to think this was some kind of tick of his, " 'Die hard' or 'XXX'?"

With no hesitation, not a second to think, he responded " 'XXX'. Vin Diesel is my man."

"Figures you'd like the Big and Bald Mr Diesel." you giggled to yourself, though you did often forget the Hamato had exceptional hearing.

"Why's that?" some of the hostility was returning to him, but at this point you were starting to think that it's just how he talked.

"Game recognizing game."

"Ye must'a put on your funny pants today." he huffed a laugh this time, rearranging himself to sit more upright. "My turn. Where were ya goin' that night when we saved ya?"

It was your turn to sigh heavily. He kept bringing things back to you being untrustworthy, and she you could understand it but that didn't make it any less annoying.

"Well maybe if you hadn't been a dick to me for a whole year, you'd know. I already told your brothers."

His striking eyes dropped to the floor and so did his bolstering ego.

Well, at least he knew he'd fucked up, that was a step in the right direction.

"I was snacky. I was gonna get something for the midnight cravings, coz I had to stay up and study." short and sweet though, it seemed to only spawn more questions, as his eyes widened in disbelief and h, for the first time since you met, looked at you head on.

"Ya went out at night? In New York? To get snacks?"

"My turn!" you shout, enthused to cut the interrogation short, even just for a minute, "If you could be trapped on a dessert island with one person, who would it be and why?"

His chin lifted, exposing some of his neck, and he seemed to observe you curiously as one of his brows raised, but he humoured you.

"Donnie."

"Why?"

"Ye've had your question, shorty!"

"No, it was part of the original question!"

His facade of indignant annoyance of you seemed to be slipping, he actually seemed to be kinda having fun, considering the circumstances.

HOUR 6

"Okay, okay, so this is a weird one but… If you could be any animal on Earth, which one would you be and why?"

"Ye're hilarious, ye know that." deadpan and sarcastic but you were starting to get used to, dare I say, enjoying his 'too cool for school' personality.

"No, I'm serious."

"Turtle."

"You're no fun."

"You?"

"I'd be an axolotl."

"The fuck is an axolotl?"

"It's this little salamander, see…"

HOUR 7

"Oh, I got a good one!" he looked really hyped for this one, he finally eased up on the 'muscle of the group' persona, none of the pent-up aggression, you could talk to him freely without fearing he'd crush your head like a peanut, and you could finally have some fun, even in the circumstances, "If ya could go to space, talk to an alien, what'd you tell 'em?"

"Ooooh, that is a good one." you put your head in your hand hummed along with your thoughts, you'd want it to be something good. "I'd tell them… gosh, I don't know,' Please don't invade us, we're not worth it.'?"

You both cackled at that as if it were the funniest thing in the world. Between breaths you managed to look up at him, his eyes now bright, still the electric green you'd recognise in a lineup, but somehow calmer, less aggressive.

And just then the elevator whirred to life under you, going downward, though shockingly not collapsing, just moving.

"Hey, guys!" a crackly voice filled with static came through the speaker, making you both jusp slightly, "It's Donnie." yes, Donnie, we know, you think yet again, "I've fixed it! It was some kind of power malfunction so the elevator just stopped. You're coming back down now."

You two exchanged a look of both shock and pure extasy, at the thought you'd no longer have to sit and stew in this giant metal box.

Not a second later the elevator stopped on the first floor, where everything had started in the first place.

Your back was to the door, and your ass and back were stiff and sore from the hours you spent in awkward positions. You strained to stand up when a large green hand invaded your vision.

You looked up at Raphael, a small smirk on his face, but not smug or condescending.

You took his hand and he pulled you up with ease, which is when you could finally turn to the door to see a jittery, nervous-looking Donnie, shuffling from foot to foot, and avoiding eye contact.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was gonna do that! The wires had somehow split and the power was cut off! Good to know the emergency mechanisms work though - "

"Donnie!" you shout to get him to stop rambling. "It's fine." you state in a much softer tone, now that you've broken his initial shock, "Would've been good to have some snacks or something up there but it's fine."

"Yeah, but make sure it never happens again, numbnuts." he got a solid shove in the arm by Raph, which he went to rub, but his eyes finally met yours, then fleeted to Raph, so perhaps he'd figured he was no longer in trouble.

"Sorry, again - "

You couldn't hear if he said anything else as a massive yawn rocked your entire being, while your body seemed to remember the time and that you had been sleepy like 4 hours ago.

"You guys… I'm gonna go now. I'll take the tunnels this time though." you proclaimed, turning to look for your bag.

"You're not going out there in the middle of the night, tiny. We don't wanna be saving you again."

"Yeah, babe!" Mikey shout somewhere in the distance before speeding to you on his board, "You should stay over."

You wanted to argue, you really did. But! The pros were more than the cons, for one you were tired as fuck and it must have been around 5 AM, so not too early to be snatched by a thug.

"Thanks, guys." Mikey started whooping and hollering, before Raph interjected.

"You can take my bed to get some shut-eye."

SOMEWHERE IN THE TUNNELS NEAR A POWER GENERATOR

"Do you think it worked?" a strong yet youthful voice murmured in the shadows, before a far more mature and elderly one responded.

"Oh, I am sure it worked, my boy."

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