#rapecw

I did not!  I dated a girl and I did not believe her about how systematically she was targeted for abuse and harassment.  It did not seem remotely plausible or reasonable or possible.  I didn’t think she was lying, but I thought she was interpreting much more into things than warranted.  

... and then I walked around a corner and saw someone harassing her, he stopped when I arrived

.... and then someone stopped their convertible next to say a bro-compliment to me which treated her like she was a cow 

both of these happened in a short period of time.  in a very liberal area.  I’ll absolutely agree that living in a left-wing voting zone is by no means any sort of protection.  

there is a class of people who experience absolutely horrific amounts of harassment.  there is a shockingly high number of men who participate in this harassment.  they tend to be quite good at not doing it while people who would object are around.  

I doubt many people know this about me but with the current wave of people all over the world breaking the silence on their abuse I feel truly inspired and supported in telling my story. I used to think that rape and sexual assault was something that a stranger did to you, they broke into your home or they cornered you in an ally and that it is violent, and you are supposed to kick and scream. My assault was not like this, a person I trusted told me what I was going to do and didn’t care about my opinion on what I wanted. My verbal consent was forced and manipulated out of me, robbing me of my voice in what should always be a free and open exchange. This person told me who I was and dictated to me my own worth, and in so doing, stole from me my sexual power and enjoyment as well as peace and silence in my own brain. It still hurts, it hurts that I was victimised and traumatised, and I hurts that, even now many years later I still struggle. But what I want to emphasise in this story is the overwhelming support I have received, from beautiful people, trained professionals and my wonderful friends and family alike. And also I want to share the wisdom I have gained, even if I had to learn it through pain and heartbreak. The wisdom that no one can dictate your own worth to you, no one can tell you who you are or tell you that you don’t own parts of yourself, like your power, pleasure and happiness. And if one person reads this and finds comfort, solidarity and love in what I have said then I did the right thing. And please, if you are in pain don’t suffer in silence, tell someone, get help, you don’t deserve to feel alone and ashamed, organisations like Rape crisis and the Youth Enquiry Service truly are saviours so please reach out, be brave.

And FYI, I did start taekwondo, I did compete at a national level and when they held up my hand to declare my gold medal victory with tears streaming down my face, my only thought was: “Fuck. You!”