i dont like straight peple
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i dont like straight peple

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What is with the way people constantly contradict themselves and act as though it's everyone else's issue whenever their inconsistencies are caught? They say one thing whilst trying to mean another, without making it obvious. But apparently anyone who can't understand such elaborate ruses is mindless in comparison by their 'able-minded' standards. And yet, I continue to be asked why I do not want to socialize outside of the small group that I am already in.
When i told my mum that I chose gender relations as a topic in politics she said "because that's your only topic at the moment" ugh. I'm simply interested in the infinite complexity of gender! The fact that I am trans (quoigender) has little to do with it.
i just read shingeki no kyojin chapter 48, and why armin's attempted manipulation on bertholdt is really going to backfire soon
reaction first to 48:
and it's really painful because of bertholdt's reaction especially
i'm sure everyone felt this way reading this but this story has so much life,so much emotional pull
normally i don't like particularly fantasy-orientated things but this sort of thing... it's not just about the fantasy aspect
it's the fact that even jean who normally doesn't talk about his feelings can somehow ask bertholdt why. why? why. and bertholdt knows that he had to, that he had to do it, reiner know, annie knows that they really had no choice
but that they did love the other members in the 104th training squad. they loved them so much that this is literally killing them (physically and mentally, especially reiner for obvious reasons)
but bertholdt breaks my heart the most. because he finally, finally FINALLY spoke out how he felt. and i think that honestly it will be the last time that he can really talk with them that way. if bertholdt doesnt die, i think he'll be grateful he was able to say those things
"jean! connie!!" he loved them. he loved them so much.
but someone has to do it.
and in the NEXT chapter, when armin tries to manipulate him, he cracks. he cracks in a way where it's literally breaking my heart to read it !! "you devil spawn!! i swear i'll kill all of you!!" and now, bertholdt is sure. bertholdt knows that there's no going back now, there will never be able to go back to those days where they guessed his sleeping position to the weather, those days where they chatted and drank beer, those holidays that they celebrated together, the times sasha stole food and someone had to bail her out, those times where someone said something so funny even mikasa laughed, those times where jean and eren yelled at something as simple as a game of checkers, those times are gone and are never coming back. bertholdt knows this and armin really REALLY pushed it forward. armin was trying to make them back track-- and maybe they will! but bertholdt knows what sacrifices have to be made. even if they make him crazy, even if they make him evil-- he has to go through now.
because of what armin said.
that's all for now
I found an old letter...
That my mom wrote to me when I was leaving for New York to study.... uwah...it just got me thinking... Dear Mom..Dad.... " I know things didn't go as expected. I came home after only being 6 months away. I ended up coming home because we didn't have the money to stay at St. John's...or the fact I didn't like what I was majoring in and I wasn't sure what to do. I was mad, but I understand. I had a hard time with my classes, but I was able to excellent in some. I just have some questions..... Did I make you proud? Are you still proud of me? Are you proud of where I am right now? I know I just go to a community college and I know there are other kids that we know that are going to UCs, Private Univerisities...and I'm just..here. stuck at a CC, but I'm trying hard. I just want you to know that I'm trying really hard. I hope you can understand. I really hope I'm making you guys proud. You've done so much for me yet I don't know if I'm making you proud. I'm taking the classes I need to get into the Radiology progran. Thank you for letting me experience living on my own even if it was for a short time. Thank you for supporting me in everything. I just hope I'm making you proud.

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ACTUALLY BITCH I DECIDED NOT TO TRY AND FUCKING TALK TO YOU. YOU'RE SUCH A DUMB BITCH I CAN'T BELIEVE I FUCKING THOUGHT I WAS "INLOVE" WITH YOU. HONESTLY I HOPE THE NEXT THING I HEAR ABOUT YOU IS THAT YOU'RE DEAD AND BURNING IN HELL.