12:23 AM: Feeling Everything
I feel everything. I feel my heart beating, my lungs inflate and deflate. I feel my thoughts swimming in my head, a tangled mess of memories and thoughts and unanswered prayers. I feel alive. I feel dead. I feel the sting in my eyes of when you said it was all my fault and that you couldn't take it anymore. That you couldn't take me anymore. I feel the burn in my chest of every single glass of Jack or Vodka I downed to try and erase you from my head. I feel every single scar on my arm from when I realized I couldn't erase you. I feel the comfort of when I was crying over you, a mess of tears and makeup and emotions, and he pulled me in close to his chest and I realized our heartbeats were in sync. I feel the softness of his lips and the roughness of his hands. I just feel everything. I feel so dead, but oh my God am I so alive.
