#randommomthoughts

Current mood:  Thoughtful.....bit high.  ;)

Music:  Faith Hill  “This Kiss”  <3

So....I’ve been listening to alot of romance novels on Audible lately.  It has become a bit of an addiction, I think.  LOL  One of the males narrators has really caught me.  I actually wander around the house with an ear pod in one ear, listening to him re-read the same couple of books...and it plays on a loop while I sleep.  Addicted?  Discuss.  :)

Today, I was wandering in a chat room, and got a PM from a random dude that said, “Wow, you look really good for your age.”  :O  Pardon?  Really??  I have such a hard time with growing older, which seems really stupid, like being afraid of the dark....but I AM afraid of the dark.  And, I am getting older.  But, I don’t FEEL 42.  I still feel 24.  Not physically, unfortunately, mentally.  Fibormyalgia has made sure that I will perpetually feel 50 years older than I am, no matter what.  I fucking hate that bitch.

Pandemic/Lockdown never really had much of an effect on me.  But, I think I may be starting to feel it.  I just feel very....irritated about it.  I’m SO tired of the incessant news about it - number dead here, number sick there, THE NUMBERS ARE CLIMBING!!  Wear a mask, I don’t wanna wear a mask, forcing me to wear a mask is UNAMERICAN! (Get a life.)  Sick of not being able to hangout and drink with my girl friends.  Not being able to go out on a date with my husband.  Just sick of it all.  Sick of not being able to have dinner at my MIL’s house, she is loosing her mind over there, by herself all the time.  Tired.  This needs to be over.  

I am having that “I want to run away with the circus” feeling...

I feel it periodically.  The same way I sometimes get this weird feeling that I am waiting for something.  Something...more?  Life my life just isn’t quite complete yet.  This is SO hard to explain, but something I feel nonetheless.  Don’t misunderstand - I LOVE my husband and my children, fiercely.  It really doesn’t have anything to do with them.  I just have that feeling, you know when you’re waiting for an exciting delivery?  Like that.  Can’t shake it.  *shrugs*

I am also over this whole Covid thing.  As I’m sure most folks are.  

That moment when your 19 month old son asks for daddy to put him to bed for the first time in his life…

And you simultaneously jump for joy with the excitement of your new found freedom…

While crying in the laundry room because your baby told you to go away. 

There’s this moment, as a work at home mom, where you realize you can no longer justify working AT home with a VERY active toddle under your feet. So you take him to daycare and ease into nap time at said daycare. You wait for the dreaded call “He’s melting and just won’t calm down” knowing you’ll have to pack up prematurely…only to get the call “Yup, he’s asleep and I’ll call you when he’s up!”

You know you’re doing SOMETHING right as a parent when you have music playing all morning and your 16-month old drops everything to come running to be closer to the speaker while dancing likes he means it when “The Way You Make Me Feel” by MJ comes on.

Why yes! Yes I am VERY proud!

I’ve decided nap time is the lunch break of stay at home moms. True, we get at least an hour and a half, but that hour and a half feels like 15 minutes. After finally eating for the first time that day while making the phone calls you couldn’t while your toddler was screaming and running through the house (because being able to do that high-pitched noise is super awesome!) all morning long, doing…

Random Mom Thought #54

My son hasn’t used real words yet… But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t talk all the time. When I’m talking back to him and agreeing, I can’t help but think I agreed to him doing some damage… Like unrolling the entire roll of paper, playing in the garbage, or eating the cat’s food. Because he gets extremely excited when I say “okay!”