#random nights

I’m used to being alone, burying melancholy between the pages of my notebook. I found it bizarre to see my self sitting on one of the tables in a place where saddened souls seek for temporary bliss. The moment I took a step in, I already felt the heaviness in the atmosphere: the thick smoke of bleakness as people breathed out nicotine, the whispers which later on became wailing and screaming, the clinking noise of bottles flying and landing on the concrete floor. This place is chaotic, I told myself as my eyes wandered around the walls. This place is chaotic, but so is the mess in my mind, so are the emotions swirling inside my heart, so is the writing on the pages of my notebook. I felt the urge to badly escape from all of these but I never thought that escaping from my own chaos would lead me to another dishevelled place. But at least, I am not alone here. So I stayed. I let my sadness drown in the noise. I sit behind the lights, allowing the shadows to be my safe haven. I listened to other people’s dilemmas, in the hopes of forgetting mine. We poured alcohol in each other’s cups, and drank it without second thoughts. It was all blithesome and comical until the alcohol no longer worked. The shadow I was hiding in became smaller until it was merely a dot and I can no longer hide at all. And as time went by, my sadness only learned how to breathe in the noise.

Randomness Page 11

Randomness Page 2