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I don’t really care about being discreet at the moment. I would prefer if you would answer the question, however.
—Hypnosis Anon
"Y35 1 b3l13v3 50. 1 d0n'7 7h1nk y0u'd b3 4bl3 70 hypn071z3 m3, 0r 4ny err0r h3r3... "

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Hbase Error: Region is not online: -ROOT-,,0
[Just a Google breadcrumb for anyone having a random HBase error]
If you are running HBase, and commands are giving you and error that looks like this:
Fri Oct 05 21:45:02 UTC 2012, org.apache.hadoop.hbase.client.ScannerCallable@74f2db2d, org.apache.hadoop.hbase.NotServingRegionException: org.apache.hadoop.hbase.NotServingRegionException: Region is not online: -ROOT-,,0
at org.apache.hadoop.hbase.regionserver.HRegionServer.getRegion(HRegionServer.java:2859)
at org.apache.hadoop.hbase.regionserver.HRegionServer.openScanner(HRegionServer.java:2071)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke0(Native Method)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(NativeMethodAccessorImpl.java:39)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:25)
at java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:597)
at org.apache.hadoop.hbase.ipc.WritableRpcEngine$Server.call(WritableRpcEngine.java:364)
at org.apache.hadoop.hbase.ipc.
HBaseServer$Handler.run(HBaseServer.java:1345)
Your HBase master is failing to start because Zookeeper is giving it an incorrect location for where the -ROOT- table is located. If you go into the HBase webui, you'll see "Assigning ROOT region" as the status of the master node on startup.
To fix this:
$ hbase zkcli
zookeeper_cli> rmr /hbase/root-region-server
Then restart your master node, and you should be fine.