As I got older, it was clover leaves. I loved finding four leaf clovers, but there was something particularly enthralling about being surrounded in a sea of trios, green triplets cushioning my toes. I would pick them and bring them to my mother, and she’d chastise me, reminding me that only the four-leafed plants held the luck she thought I was searching for. But it wasn’t luck I wanted, it was company.

As an adult, I found threes everywhere. Primary colors. The hands on ticking clocks. Suits, trilogies, stoplights, blind mice, guitar chords, and love. I noticed three in everything, made it a point to learn three in every language a search engine could give me.

When I met Luke Alvez, I thought my trilogy of findings was over. I had found my duo. I had learned what two fingers felt like, how they learned my body and carved their ownership into my muscles. Felt his lips pressing constellations into my shoulder blades, his two hands caressing my chest and dragging up to tilt my head to the side, moving to capture me in a much too short kiss. His touch left twos all over my skin, all over my body. When I met Luke Alvez, I kissed threes goodbye, leaving them behind for a lifetime of duologies.

Luke and I developed a routine over the next two years, of loving and loving. I memorized what he felt like inside me, memorized his kisses, memorized him in every conceivable way. I looked to Luke Alvez to teach me what good meant, and he taught me what it felt like, too. He was my ethos, balancing me between vigilance and passion. He kept me from my fire and kept me in my ice.

When I met Spencer Reid, everything changed. From the moment I saw him, my love of threes came back in waves. His curls fall down, each ringlet in three turns. His speeches, all three points to be made. Every handshake with three squeezes, every laugh with three crescendos. I never thought threes would be mine again, until I saw the look in Spencer Reid’s eyes when he looked at my Luke, and Luke looked at him the same way.

When I met Spencer Reid, I knew then and there my duo would soon become a trio. There was no way around the way he and I, he and Luke, and Luke and I all looked at each other. Luke came home that day, puppy like and swooning, talking Roxie’s ears off about his new coworker. I couldn't blame, after all I did, and do, feel the same way about our new object of affection. I was just a bit better at hiding it than Luke. How Spencer and his brain didn't piece it together sooner, I'll never know.

Luke had confessed over coffee, sputtered words and burnt tongue spilling every secret to Dr. Reid. I never thought I’d see the doctor turn so red, but I soon found out he could turn me redder than that still.

Spencer Reid taught me the meaning of trilogy, of three, of us. Luke and I thought the duo was the ending, that the two of us had achieved something unlike anything gifted to humankind before. We were proven incredibly wrong the moment Spencer Walter Reid stepped into our life. The power of three was something I had never considered before I felt his love, his prowess, his consideration.

I memorized Spencer, too. The way his hands felt around my shoulders, pinning me back against him with his writhing hands making their way down my body. I memorized his teeth biting at the flesh between my neck and shoulder, the sound of his belt sliding from belt loops, memorized the way he made the hairs on my neck rise with the simplest whispers in my ears. Beyond that, I memorized the way he kept me calm. The way the brushes of his fingertips assuaged my beating heart, his careful ranting filling empty longing spaces between Luke and I’s silent words. He was our logos, our life’s reason and animus. He kept us bound but bated and every bit of him is in our grasp.

That wasn’t the only way he kept us bound, no, the man was deft and practiced with silken rope. Nothing burns in my memory quite so much as the memory of tied hands behind backs and fatigued knees from sitting in front of him, head craned to stare up at his chiseled physique. He’d trace my jawline, pry my mouth open, let his fingers take up precious real estate in my throat.

“What a beautiful, disgusting thing you are. Opened up for me, hm?” He’d mock me, nothing but love behind his eyes as I stared, nodding.

“All for you,” I’d whisper, choking on his hand in my mouth, my words wrapping around him. He always understood the sentiment. Luke would come around then, sliding my shirt off my shoulders long enough to bite his ownership into me.

“Pretty girl,” he’d say, rough hands smoothing up over my chest, reaching up to unbutton Spencer’s slacks and pushing my head forward to take him into my mouth. I remember looking up through shortened eyelashes and seeing his head thrown back in glory and Luke muttering, “Oh, good girl.” He always could sing my praises. That was something else I’d memorize too, the ecstasy loving them provides.

Spencer would pull me up then, fist in my hair and throw me onto our bed, snarling, “Oh, I’m not done with you yet. He may be nice to you, but I won’t be, not yet. You’ve got to earn it.” My face pushed down into the bed, his hand against my back and Luke’s hands running up my legs to trace at my heat, Spencer had pushed into me, moaning something unintelligible for the first time in his life.

He’d use me, thrust into me with a fistful of hair pulling my head up just enough to wrap around Luke, who would caress my face and tell me how good I was being, how sweet and patient. It would only be so long before Spencer would fill me with his warmth, falling over me and pressing kisses to my back, muttering his own praises in languages and feelings I would never understand. Luke would follow soon after, wiping my mouth and giving his own kisses to the corners of my mouth, copying Spencer’s lilted praises.

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

I groaned loudly as I shifted my body towards my boyfriend. He glanced at me shortly before returning his attention back to whatever was on TV. 

“Spencerrrr,” I whined, my hands making their way towards his legs. He gently caught them with one of his, placing them back on me. 

“No, you know what would happen if we try anything.” 

A shiver went down my spine as a flash of a memory resurfaced. Luke had us both on our knees, making us take turns sucking him off. His pleasure was the only priority for that evening. Of course, he made it up to us the following morning with breakfast in bed and an orgasm each. 

That was a fun time, but the memory only made me crave Spencer even more right now. 

“Please baby, I want you so badly. I promise I’ll make it worthwhile.” My hands slowly glided back to his pants and this time he didn’t push them away. 

“We shoul-” a groan cut him off as I slightly squeezed his growing erection. 

“How would he find out?” I moved my body closer to his, pressing my chest against his arm. “I’m so wet for you Spencer, please.”

“I-I don’t know. Luke would be really upset if he finds out.”

“Just one kiss. Or two. That’s all, I promise.” 

I moved to sit on his lap, making sure his hard erection was against my clothed center. I pressed my lips against his throat, enjoying the sound of the small gasp he released from his mouth. 

“I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

I continued to press small kisses against the column of his throat as I slowly grinded my hips against his. Spencer placed his hands on my waist, his grip still shy and hesitant. I had him almost where I wanted him, I just needed to push a little bit more. 

“And what do we have here,” a low voice stated from behind me. I felt Spencer tense underneath me as we both locked our eyes on our boyfriend. Luke was leaning his weight against the wall, his face void of any emotions. But Spencer and I knew better. 

“Hey there babe, we were just uhhhh warming up for you. Right, Spence?” I turned my attention back to Spencer, hoping he will help soothe the predicament we caught ourselves in. However, he stayed silent, his head facing downward in a state of guilt. 

“I could’ve sworn I said no touching until I got back. Or was I mistaken?” 

“Well, you see, what had happened wa—” My attempt to swindle our way out of any punishment was cut off. 

“I don’t want to hear it. The both of you go to the bedroom. Now.” 

Spencer stood up, with me practically having to jump off him to avoid falling on the floor. If I had to bet, I’d say he was more excited than scared. He would never admit it, but we all know he loved Luke’s punishments. I was just the more vocal one between the two of us. 

I followed after Spencer, going through the usual protocol. Luke likes us to be stripped down to our underwear. We sat on the bed, a good amount of distance between us so that Luke wouldn’t try to add another penalty to whatever he was going to give us. 

We waited a few minutes before the door opened with a creak. Thank the mighty above that he decided not to make us wait for many more hours. 

I kept my eyes downwards, waiting for further instruction. I heard Luke make his way towards Spencer before a sharp gasp was heard. The lewd sounds of sucking and moaning almost made me turn my head. Luke knows I love watching them together, but I can’t lift my head without permission. I did my best to keep my eyes on my lap as I heard them make out with one another. 

I don’t know how long I waited, it could have been a few minutes or a few hours, before I heard them finally pull apart. Between the deep intakes of breath from the both of them, I assume it was a lengthy amount of time. 

“I am proud of you for at least following this one rule cariña,” Luke panted, his words coming out a bit husky as he still tried to catch his breath, “Look at me.”

With greedy eyes, I looked at his face and took him all in. His lips were red and puffy, the leftover saliva keeping them moist. His hair was wild, as if a certain genius ran his hands through it. His chest moved up and down, eventually dwindling to an even pace. 

He came closer to me, tucking two of his thick fingers under my chin to lift my head up so that I can focus solely on his lustful dark brown eyes. “Spencer,” he called, eyes still on mine, “come here.” 

Within milliseconds, Spencer stood up next to Luke, awaiting further instruction. He was always more of a doer than a talker when in this role. Luke grabbed his hands as they took a few steps away from me. “Let’s give our darling girl a little show. Take my clothes off me.” 

With greedy and excited hands, Spencer removed Luke’s button-down and undershirt. His fingers traced the soft skin of Luke’s chest as he made his way toward the pants.  He took his time taking off Luke’s jeans and socks, enjoying the few moments at being on his knees in front of our man. 

Lucky son of a bitch. 

When Luke was finally in his boxers, he told Spencer to take a seat on the bed again before coming back to me. He grabbed my waist, forcing me to stand and pulling me against his body. He was so cool, which help to calm my overheated skin. 

“What should I do with you, cariña, hmmm?” 

I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to give him any ideas. He rubbed small circles on my hips as he contemplated what to do with me. He hummed a small tune while his eyes displayed a playful mischief.  

“Ahhh, I have an idea. Babe, lie down on your back for me. You deserve a treat,” he told Spencer while he removed my underwear. 

As soon as he released me, I went straight to Spencer. I knew what Luke wanted us to do without him outright saying it. I straddled Spencer’s waist and shimmied up to his face until my core was level to his mouth. 

“The other way,” Luke called out, “I want to see you.” I hastily switched position, almost falling to my side. If it wasn’t for Spencer’s hands on my thighs, I would have had a face full of blankets right now.

“Go on.”

And with that, Spencer started using his mouth on me. I gasped as he slowly left soft kisses before moving his tongue from slit to clit in a tantalizing motion. I was already wet from earlier, but I was practically a puddle now. If there was one thing that Spencer was amazing at, it was eating a girl out. Or well, giving oral in general. He is a giver and knows how to work that amazing mouth in multiple ways. 

I cried out when he closed his mouth over my clit and started to gently suck. He groaned when I pressed my hands down on his chest, the vibration causing my body to shudder. His hands on my thighs kept my trembling body as steady as possible. This is going to be over quickly if he continued on like this. I picked my head up to look at Luke, watching as he took in the scene in front of him.

“Give her a little more Spencer.” 

A thick, long digit slowly replaced the tongue that was inside me. Similar to his mouth, Spencer was talented with his hands. Those dexterous fingers were a gift, and I was a happy recipient. His mouth returned to my clit, his tongue flicking against it as he curled his finger in a come hither motion. I let out a whispered curse as my eyes closed. 

“Put another finger in her, Spencer.” 

Spencer did as he was told, sliding a second digit inside of me. My high pitch moans were in harmony with the boys’ heavy breathing. I tried to stay still, but couldn’t help but grind slowly against Spencer’s face. I focused my attention back at Luke, only to see him softly fisting himself behind his boxers. Damn, I want nothing more than to have a closer look at him.

As if he read my mind, Luke came closer, his fist still pumping his thick cock. My mouth salivated in an instant, craving the feel of salty skin gliding against my tongue. I stuck my tongue out, hoping he would be nice and give me what I wanted. 

For a moment, I thought he would do just that as he released his dick, removed his boxers, and climbed on the bed, straddling Spencer’s lower waist. Instead, he grabbed my hair harshly, forcing me to look up at him. With my mouth still opened wide for him, Luke looked directly into my eyes as he spit in my mouth. Without prompt, I swallowed greedily, showcasing my tongue for him again.

“You’re such a dirty little bitch, cariña,” Luke laughed. The sweet pet name combined with the degrading title had me whimpering for more attention. I wanted more. I needed more. I moved my head, just enough to capture Luke’s lips with my own. Luke quickly pulled away to glare at me while I wore a coy smile on my face. 

“You greedy little girl,” was all he said as he delved back down. His lips were always soft, which contrasted with the way he would roughly kiss me. His stubble rubbed harshly against my face, his tongue sliding greedily against my own. His hands still fisted in my hair held me in place as he controlled our intense kiss. 

The feeling of two tongues inside of me had me rising closer and closer to my climax. My legs started to shake as a shiver went through my spine. I focused on the pleasure they were giving me. I moaned loudly into Luke’s mouth while Spencer continued the even pace of his fingers and tongue. I was so close to my release and just when I was about to let go, Luke pulled away from me and said the worst two words a person could hear at a moment like this. 

“Spencer, stop.” 

Spencer instantly paused his movements, my orgasm waning along with it. I glared at Luke, telepathically telling him how much I hated him at that moment. 

You fucking smug haughty beautiful bastard. 

“Fix that face before I change my mind about potentially rewarding you,” Luke stressed out.

I immediately pouted at his words, casting my eyes down so that he didn’t see the anger that still lingered within them. 

“Cariña, move down. Spencer, stay just like that,” he said, his voice carrying a softer tone as he moved down a bit to make room for me. 

Just like before, I shimmied my body down until I was at Spencer’s waist. With Luke’s help, Spencer’s boxers were tossed somewhere across the room and I was hovering over his length. Spencer and I both gasped once he entered me. I slowly moved my hips down until he was bottomed out inside of me. Luke placed his hands on my waist as he moved me up and down, controlling the pace. 

Spencer’s fists were clutching the sheets beneath him as he tried his best not to buck his hips. We were both trying to be good to avoid further punishment. It was bad enough that we’d barely seen each other’s faces this whole time. Luke knew I was a sucker for Spencer’s orgasm face. 

Luke pressed a kiss on my forehead and dipped his head to leave bites and kisses on my throat. I could feel my body heat up the more his plush lips pressed against me. He released my waist, silently telling me to go on as he continued his descent, nibbling and marking the skin on my chest and stomach. 

I nearly screamed once I felt his lips and tongue on my sensitive clit. From the way Spencer’s hips staggered and moans increased in volume, it is safe to assume that Luke was avidly lapping the both of us. The sound of deep whines, heavy moans, and high squeals occupied the bedroom. The coil in my belly was getting tighter and tighter, a telltale sign that I was once again rising close to the edge. I just needed a few more thrusts, a bit more pressure. 

I barely noticed when Luke pulled away, but I did register the deep timbre of his voice saying, “Stop.”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, not again. Spencer’s hips stuttered, but didn’t fully stop until Luke smacked and harshly gripped his thigh. 

“Luke, please,” Spencer begged, as if he was a wounded animal. I also shared my displeasure at being stopped for the second time in a matter of minutes. All Luke did was chuckle at us, amused by our antics.

“Good things come to those who wait,” was all he said as he stood up. 

He instructed Spencer to sit up and lean his back against the headboard while I go on all fours facing him. We quickly followed suit, hoping to finally get some kind of release. 

“Good, now cariña, I want you to be nice and let Spencer use your mouth.” 

He didn’t have to say more. I happily open my mouth to allow him entry. The mixed taste of the both of us further invigorated me to take him deeper in my mouth. 

“You can touch.” I heard Luke say to which Spencer eagerly accepted. He held strands of my hair in his large hands, but did nothing else. I glance up to see his face scrunched up in pleasure, mouth open while his head leaned back on the headboards. I loved looking at him like that, it was arousing and encouraging. I moved my head up, leaving just the tip in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around him and sucked a bit harder, relishing the way he tightened his grip on my hair. 

I felt the bed dip as Luke got on it again. I knew he was behind me, feeling the heat he emitted on my skin. He rubbed two fingers against my already slippery folds, spreading the slick everywhere. I heard him sigh before once again placing his hands on my hips, the blunt head of his cock thumped against my clit. I raised my hips higher, presenting myself as an offering for his pleasure. 

Luke entered me slowly, lazily, taking his time so that I could feel every inch of him inside me. I moaned and gurgled around the cock still in my mouth. Spencer’s hands yanked me off him as he took deep breaths. His eyes kept darting between Luke and me, pleading for someone to allow him to do something. 

“Go ahead babe, you’ve been so good for me,” Luke praised. 

Spencer looked at my face, silently asking permission. I nodded my head, opening my mouth again for him. Still being the soft sweet boy for the night, he gently entered my mouth, lightly moving my head up and down. 

Luke started quickening his pace, smacking his hips against mine. His balls would slap my clit the harder he thrust in me. The contrast between the rough and hard from behind with the soft and gentle from the front had my mind spiraling. 

“You like this don’t you,” Luke growled out, hunching his form so that his chest was pressed against my back, his words being hissed at my ear. “You like being filled up at both ends.”

All I could do was moan as they both used me. I maneuvered one hand to massage Spencer’s balls, sucking harder with every up stroke. The extra stimulation was just enough for him to cry out and release himself. He came like a freight train, heavy and fast and all too much all at once. I couldn’t hold it all in my mouth and Spencer slipped out of me with the leftover fluid landing on his lower stomach. 

“It’s your turn now cariña,” Luke moaned. He hitched one of my legs up and the new angle had me seeing stars. I couldn’t hold in the cries and shrieks no matter how much I wanted to. I was wailing as I finally, finally, was given release. My arms were too weak to hold me up so I had my face pressed down on the sheets beneath me. 

Luke continued to pound harder and faster inside of me, chasing after his own release. His grip on my hips got harder, his nails digging into my skin, as his pace stuttered to an uneven pace. A few more thrusts and he had my hips pressed against his as I felt him spasm inside of me while I continued to contract around him. 

We stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled out and went to the bathroom. I was still trying to catch my breath while Spencer was in a nearly comatose state. Luke returned with wipes in his hand as he cleaned the both of us from the sticky mess we made. He led me to the bathroom to relieve myself while giving Spencer some water. He also helped us put our pajamas on. Soon we were all cuddled up in bed, holding on to each other with happy, sleepy smiles gracing our faces. 

“I love you guys,” I said, snuggling impossibly closer to them. Spencer giggled at my antics, his long limps wrapped around the both of us before drowsily mumbling he loves us too. We waited, peeking one eye open to see if Luke would say it back.

“I love you guys too, even if you’re both a couple of brats.” 

Smut Idea #1: Spencer and Reader don’t really get along, but they try for their boyfriend Luke. He leaves them alone for a weekend and comes back to find they are REALLY getting along.

Smut Idea #2: Luke gets tired of his partners bickering over him during sex, so he instructs them on how to be nice to each other.

He was the first man to catch my eye since meeting Spencer, and I knew that the feeling was shared by my boyfriend. It had happened exactly like it does in all the movies — time slowed down and the sun behaved differently in his company. Shining brighter to bring out the honey gold in his skin and the rich color of his eyes. And we were helpless to it, caught in the shadow with slackened jaws and desire for something far beyond the physical.

Spencer and I are a practical couple. We knew that the odds of him being interested in either of us, let alone both of us at the same time, were low. But what was the harm in trying, right?

Wrong. There was so much potential harm. So many terrifying, traumatic possibilities for what would happen. What would happen if he didn’t like us? Or worse yet, he only liked one of us? Spencer’s heart would ache from that kind of rejection, and mine would be irrevocably shattered. We could destroy the dynamic of the entire team. We could lose a friend. Heaven forbid we devolve enough to lose each other.

But it was equally impossible to pretend like what we felt wasn’t there. To look Luke in the eyes every day with hearts and wishes in our own and pray that he doesn’t notice. We were all profilers, after all. He would eventually figure it out.

That was why Spencer tasked me with this mission. To suss out whether our dreams were just that, dreams, or whether we actually had a chance.

An easy task in theory.

In theory.

“I know that look.”

Speak of the devil. The devil that I had apparently been unintentionally staring at for at least thirty seconds.

“Hm? What look? I-I didn’t do a look,” I stammered in the least convincing way possible. Luke didn’t mind, though. It didn’t stop him from approaching me with a basket of hidden goodies that I barely noticed until he placed it on the kitchenette counter beside me.

“You got something on your mind?” he asked, brilliantly deducing that I was, in fact, lying. Which I continued to do for the sake of my own wounded pride.

“No. Nothing. It’s just... empty up there.”

“Right...” he said quietly and with a chuckle I almost had the nerve to be offended by. But it became clear to me when I turned to face him that he’d really just become distracted by the mystery he’d arrived with. And despite my notorious need to know everything and my love for secrets, Luke managed to lift the towel on top of the basket without letting me see what was below it. I pouted when he snuck a hidden hand inside, until finally, he relented.

“It’s from the local farmer’s market. Matt and I had to go anyway, so we figured we’d bring some back for everyone.”  

“Oh, really?” I chirped, already reaching to reveal what delicacies he preferred, “I didn’t realize there was one. What did you—“

But then I heard it. The sinking of teeth into the soft flesh of a perfectly crisp white peach. I knew that’s what it was because I could smell it too, perfectly fragrant as the juices flowed over his fingers and dripped from his lips. The droplets clung to the stubble because they, like me, cherished every chance they had to touch him.

Still, like always, Luke seemed clueless to the way my heart wrenched at the thought of kissing the sticky sweetness from his skin.

“Do you want some? It’s very good.”

“Um.”

Was this a trick question? It had to be. It couldn’t have been possible that he was actually offering me to indulge in the very same thing that wet his lips.

“No?” I asked before correcting my own thoughts and blubbering, “I-I mean, sure! Yes?”

Luke smiled, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he found my strangeness endearing or something worthy of mockery. I didn’t have time to analyze that playfulness in his eyes, though, because he was already presenting the fruit to me with something akin to arrogance.

“Here.”

Maybe I was being stupid, taking a chance and assuming myself smart enough to read his somewhat subtle clues, but I didn’t try to take the fruit from him. There was no reason to, with him holding it close enough that the fuzzy pink flesh tickled my bottom lip. My eyes were stuck on that expression he still held, drowning in nearly obsidian eyes that somehow remained warm.

He didn’t want me to look away. It would have been impossible to, anyway. As I felt the juices run down my face, I saw the way his tongue swiped over his own lips. I wondered if he was thinking like I was, wishing that he could be touching me the same way.

But when he did pull the fruit back, it was only my lips that tried to catch the droplets before they strayed too far. But I was slower and less experienced than him, allowing a couple to trickle under my chin.

And despite seeing it happen, I still nearly choked when I felt his finger stop against my throat. He took his time, tracing the trail it left until his finger rested against my bottom lip. From there, we just watched each other for what felt like a lifetime. Really, it had only been a few seconds. But in that time, his smile had fallen, his lips breaking open to let out a shaky breath that I felt in my own lungs.

More than anything, I wanted to take his offer. To kiss his hand and imagine it to be his lips. To show him in a way that he could never doubt how badly I wanted him. How much my whole being craved him. But I couldn’t. I was stuck in the syrupy haze of his touch, desperately wishing for him to save me.

He didn’t, but Spencer did. Like a deer in the headlights, he also stared breathlessly at the scene laid out before him. While I expected Luke to withdraw quickly, he didn’t. His hand fell at a leisurely pace until it hung by his side again.

“Oh. Matt told me you got some peaches,” Spencer finally muttered once we were all able to breathe again.

“Yep. He sure did,” I nervously replied, trying and failing to beg my boyfriend to save me from the lust-filled limbo I was currently rooted in. He did no such thing. In fact, he did nothing at all. Even when Luke approached him and offered the other half of the fruit to him, Spencer couldn’t tear his gaze away from his face the same way I’d failed to.

“Do you want some, Spencer?”

“N-No,” he whispered, “No, thank you.”

He was stronger than I. Smarter, too.

“Suit yourself,” Luke shrugged. His grin had started to return again when he glanced back at me over his shoulder. I couldn’t place the feeling it stirred in me, but I knew it was far from bad. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”

We didn’t want him to, but that didn’t stop him. He vanished before we could even gather the energy to whimper at the loss. Once that grief was over, though, Spencer bolted to me with hushed shouts and shaking hands.

“What was that?!”

“I don’t know! I panicked!” I screeched back at a significantly higher volume, “Like, was he flirting with me or did he just want to be nice?”

“Why are you asking me? You’re the one who flirts!”

“Spencer, flirting with you is literally just listening,” I deadpanned. Per usual, the more frantic he became, the calmer I felt. Eventually, we reached a happy equilibrium of a reasonable, survivable level of anxiety.

With a deep breath in and out, Spencer raised his hands and spoke slowly, gathering his confidence back with each word, “Okay, we’re smart people. We can figure this out.”

“Has he been weird around you lately?” I asked. I already knew the answer for me. I might not be the best at picking up subtle hints, but his finger practically in my mouth was a lot to ignore.

“Not really... although...” I watched as the realization dawned on him just in time for it to be crushed by his abysmal self-esteem.

“I have noticed he’s been eating a lot of lollipops and popsicles lately. Which, maybe he just has a sweet tooth, sure…” he muttered, his mind clearly drifting off to a distant memory. He had his fist tucked under his chin in that kitten-like manner that usually accompanied a whine, but the next words out of his mouth were anything but innocent. “Then again, I’m pretty sure that no human being on this earth eats a banana like that...”

Immediately, the most provocative possible images filled my head. Pictures of the beautiful, elusive Alvez with his hands not on a phallic fruit, but my boyfriend. And the harder I tried to envision something, anything less sexual, the further the two of them would stray from innocence.

“That’s it. I can’t do it!” I shouted with hands thrown in the air and feet already leading me promptly out of the room, “You ask him!”

“But—“  

“Just do it before I lose my mind!”

My girlfriend assigned me a job to do. It was a terrible decision, really. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am usually the right person to task with a lot of things. I already do taxes for everyone on the team, I’m wonderful at anything to do with odds or obscure literature trivia, and I can definitely help you write a paper.

But asking out our coworker? No. I couldn’t do that. I have no idea why she ever thought I could. I didn’t even ask her out. In fact, neither of us did! We just woke up one day and realized that we had keys to the other’s place but somehow still always ended up in the same bed.

And even that was terrifying. How, then, could I ever bring myself to do it? It was one thing to slowly drift closer to him and hope that proximity will somehow shift everyone’s feelings — at least in that scenario, I wouldn’t have to risk losing it all at once. It would be lost gradually, like electrons transferring until all of the things I felt for him were oxidized into something new.

But to just… tell him the truth, to put myself out there and beg him to love us back?

Absolutely not. I couldn’t understand that at all.

“Are you alright, Spencer?” Luke asked, his eyes having wandered off the road while we sat at a light that I was begging to turn back to green.

“What? Me?”

“Yes, you,” he laughed, sending my heart into a frenzy, “Is there another Spencer in the car?”

It was dangerous, really, for him to set off my pulse in such a small space. I was reminded quickly of a popular piece by Edgar Allan Poe that spoke of the man driven mad by the sound of another’s heart pounding beneath the floorboards. I wondered if Luke could hear mine, too. Judging by the way his eyes stayed glued on mine, though, told me he didn’t.

Of course he didn’t.  

“Sorry.”

But then why was he looking at me like that?

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” he said quieter now. With eyes softer and a hand loosening its grip on the steering wheel just as the light changed.

I thanked whatever things controlled time and coincidence for their mercy, but then cursed them in the same breath when Luke finally looked away from me. However, luckily, that grief of losing his attention didn’t last long.

“What’s bothering you?”

I couldn’t answer that.

“Nothing,” I lied. But then he glanced back at me with narrowed eyes and a knowing smirk and I immediately confessed, “Just a conversation from earlier.”

It wasn’t a lie. It was just… a half-truth. Luke accepted it, although I think he knew I was just skirting around what I really wanted to talk about. There was too much sureness, too much clarity in his voice to accept that he was just making conversation.

“With (y/n)?”

Recognizing that we were on dangerous territory, I kept my answer uncharacteristically brief and terse when I replied, “Yeah.”

But Luke wasn’t as willing to let it go. He practically dug his teeth into the heart of the tension. He wore a smile the whole time he did it, too.

“She’s a bit of a handful, huh?”

The question didn’t hit me as hard as he might’ve intended. While I could’ve taken it a bit too defensively, or perhaps with a healthy dose of jealousy at the fact he was with me but still thinking of her, I didn’t do either of those things. Because however insulting it had the capacity to be, he was still right.

“Sometimes,” I chuckled, “Worth it, though.”

But then it happened. That monster made up of all my worst insecurities and greatest fears reared its ugly head.

“Yeah, she’s pretty great,” was all he’d said. That was all it took.

I’d promised myself it wouldn’t be like this, but the feeling consumed me so quickly I could hardly warn myself of where it would lead. If Luke only liked her, I was fully prepared to let her pursue the avenue without me. Sure, it would hurt, but the rejection would be eventually forgotten the longer I got to see how happy he could make her.

But for now, it just sucked. It felt like being left behind and forgotten. Unwanted.

If that were true, though, why was he still sneaking glances, gauging my reactions and giggling at what he’d found?

“What, are you jealous?”

“W-What?” I blubbered back, which was even more unfortunate considering that he saw my bottom lip tremble.

“You’re pouting.”

I was. But that didn’t stop me from squeaking back, “No I’m not!”

Of course, the way my pitch peaked high enough to crack didn’t help my credibility. Not that it would have mattered, anyway. He had already seen the red tint that stretched from my ears to every visible inch of my neck.

“Oh, boy,” he sighed with an unwavering smile that was almost too infectious to ignore.

I held strong, though, with pursed lips and bitten cheeks to prevent my traitorous face from giving in to his charms. I did the only thing I could think to do to protect my heart from stopping the next time he looked at me; I turned to stare out the window. It didn’t work. I still saw his reflection. Not enough to satisfy me completely, but enough to hurt.

“I’m not pouting!”

But then the melodious sound of his laughter filled the car, light and alluring and everything good. It drew my eyes back to him only to find him still watching the road. But while his eyes were elsewhere, his hand found its merry way to my thigh.

“Well good, because you shouldn’t be jealous,” he assured me, but I could barely hear him over the rushing of blood that felt like it was going everywhere but where I needed it most. The dizzying haziness set in at an alarming rate, and I spent the little sense I had left in trying to remain conscious.

“If you’d have let me finish, I was going to say it makes sense why she’s with you.”  

“What do you mean?”

He just shot me this look, an adorable, bewildered, stare that told me I should have known the answer. And maybe, deep down, I did know what he was going to say.

I just wanted to hear him say it.

“Come on. You’re a genius, right? This can’t be news to you…”

I felt the air leave my lungs at a rate perfectly proportional to the speed with which his hand drifted up the smooth fabric of my slacks. The only thing was, my legs were longer than my lungs were functional, which left me starved for breath fairly quickly. But even then, with cherry cheeks and a heart desperate for oxygen, I didn’t want to do anything that might take his attention away. That might make me miss what he had to say.

Luke didn’t finish his thought until the car settled in place, and I didn’t dare look away to confirm that we had reached our destination. I couldn’t dedicate any of my brainpower to the investigation until this moment came to some kind of satisfying conclusion.

He knew that, too. I could see it in the playful glint in his eyes that I’m convinced was hiding another emotion entirely. Thankfully, the silliness didn’t cheapen his sentiments at all. I felt the truth of his words deep inside of me when he whispered, “Kind, smart, handsome. Who wouldn’t want you?”

The only word I could bring myself to utter in response was a simple, pathetic, “Oh.”

Like usual, Luke didn’t mind. He never did. He was always so understanding, so perfectly capable of handling even the most eccentric of my idiosyncrasies. There was never a worry in my mind that he might not want me around.

That was a rare and beautiful thing. Still, it was nothing compared to the way it felt when his hand finally stopped its ascent, resting gently over my balled fist in my lap.

Even when I looked up at him, staring directly into those eyes that always reminded me of smoky quartz and treacle whiskey, he found a way to break me further. To leave me nothing but a disaster of a man between his fingers.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asked in a way most people never did.

“No,” I answered, but he only barely believed me.

That didn’t stop his thumb from brushing over my knuckles as he continued more urgently, “Are you sure?”

But just before my heart leapt from its place in my chest and turned to regrettable words in my throat, I was saved by the arrival of the others. The black SUVs were barely even visible in my peripherals, but my brain latched onto them as the only possible escape from the alternate universe I’d stumbled into.

“Um… Well, everyone’s here!” I shouted with an awkward laugh that still made him smile, “We should go!”

I practically fell out of the car, opening it too fast but also refusing to let go of his hand until the tension became too unbearable. He laughed, too, in a way that felt less like mocking and more like something akin to love.

Although he really had no reason to, and my response was senseless (as infatuation almost always seems), I knew that he took my answer as a resounding, ‘Yes.’

If I were to describe my current job, it wouldn’t be ‘Special Agent Alvez.’ It would be more like... a babysitter. Granted, my two current assignments were much more interesting than the usual. While they did have a tendency to incoherently babble and stumble over their words in my presence, and their naïveté could often be misconstrued as innocence, nothing else about them was childlike.

I’d been watching them long before now. Basically since the first time I met them. It was strange, sometimes, to remember that the man and woman who stood before me were the same shy, awkward individuals I’d met that day. I remember the rush of emotions when someone finally told me that they were both taken — by each other. It made sense to me; they were both amazing. It was only logical that they would be drawn to one another. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.

Still, it was easy enough to push those feelings aside when it was obvious how happy they were. Don’t get me wrong, I flirted with them. Blatantly and without regret. For a while I was convinced that was all it would ever be. But then as time went on, I found my affections not only returned in wayward glances and inopportune giggles, but explicitly in words.

In a very fortunate (or unfortunate, depending on your position) turn of events, I may or may not have, but definitely did, eavesdrop on my favorite couple. I never said I was a perfect person. When I heard them heatedly arguing in hushed whispers, I was going to leave them alone. But then I heard my name, over and over.

I was a strong man, but I was a nosy man.

I almost let myself feel guilty about it. But, I have since then taken the time to reassure myself that it was a good thing I had. Because three months later, and with plenty of opportunities, I still had not received an invitation from the couple. I wasn’t exactly being subtle anymore.

By the time the case ended, I had basically given up hope that it would happen anytime soon. I mean, if I could practically perform oral sex on a peach and all but grab Spencer’s dick and they still couldn’t work up the nerves… It wasn’t going to happen.

That was okay, too. I wouldn’t have wanted to pressure them into it. After all, it was always possible that they hadn’t actually meant what they’d said. Maybe they’d talked it over later and realized that it wasn’t something they wanted. I wasn’t something they needed. They seemed happy enough as it was; I didn’t need to ruin it for them.

But, as it turns out, even after all of that self-realizing, I’m still not a perfect person. So, when I heard them again, arguing in the other room just as heated and hushed as that first time, I stopped in my tracks just outside the room.

“What do you mean you chickened out? Spencer!”

“He held my hand! I panicked!”

“Stop using my excuses!”

“It’s not an excuse it’s the truth!”

I bit down on my tongue to stop my laughter from spreading too far, but it barely worked. The smile on my face was too wide to be contained so easily. Luckily, though, they seemed too distracted to hear the snickering around the corner. Although, part of me wishes that they had. It would have made it a lot less awkward.

Because before I was even able to compose myself, I felt the air shift into something solemn. A dark, gloomy aura that usually accompanied their silence.

“Is this a sign?” she asked him, “That it’s just not meant to be?”

Spencer didn’t answer. I could practically see the way his hands were probably wringing together and his Adam’s apple would jump as he tried to swallow whatever he wanted to say. In her own way, that’s what she was doing too. Running from the truth that clawed at their hearts because it was easier to let it eat at them than it would be to lose the organ entirely.

“I mean, if neither of us can even work up the nerve to talk to him about it...” she trailed off.

They were running away because they were scared. I could relate to that.

But I wasn’t ready to accept it.

I rounded the corner without a plan, figuring that I would find all the courage I needed in the sight before me. In the comfort of their company, no matter how downtrodden it was.

“Hey.”

Together, they both replied a sad, soft, “Hey Luke.”

It wasn’t my preferred way to hear my name on their lips, but I was willing to accept it for now. I hoped it wouldn’t be that way for long.

“Is everything alright?”

The two of them looked at each other, both silently opening and closing their mouths like they were speaking some inaudible language. I liked to think I was picking up on it, too.

“Yeah...” Spencer muttered, followed by (y/n)’s even more sullen, “It’s nothing.”

And I realized in that moment something important.

It wasn’t nothing. It was far from it.

It was the smiles we shared over coffee in the morning and greasy fast food on late night trips. It was the way her breath stuttered each time I held her, and the way Spencer would leave wrinkles on my clothes from gripping my shirt just a little too tight. It was a potential for a future, a happiness, and a love that I was very much interested in pursuing.

“Alright, alright. It’s time to come clean,” I sighed, approaching the two of them only to find that they tensed a little bit more with every one of my steps, “It’s not fun when you two look so sad.”

“What are you talking about?” she muttered.

This was it. The moment of truth. Putting myself out on a limb and trusting that they wouldn’t lead me there if it wasn’t safe enough for the three of us.

“I kind of heard you guys talking a few weeks ago,” I explained, only to be met with blank stares. Realizing that might be a bit vague, I clarified, “About… me.”

The blank stares not only continued but intensified. Both of their mouths fell open despite their lungs ceasing function.

“.... What?” Spencer asked. A decent question. I expected nothing less from him.

“Yeah. I didn’t say anything because... I don’t know, I felt like it wouldn’t be as satisfying when I said yes if you didn’t ask me yourselves. But now I can see that you two are both equally, adorably helpless.”

Once the words started, I couldn’t stop. Even when their eyes started to dart away, looking more at each other than at me. I felt like they weren’t the only ones who needed to hear the truth spoken aloud. To hear and feel the way that I meant everything I was saying and wanted to say it a long time ago.

“And I figured if I don’t come clean now, we might not ever get the chance to—”

It all came to a screeching halt when Spencer raised his hand — just the one. A swift order to shut up that my tongue followed before I could even question it.

“Hold on, I’m sorry, can we back up for a second?”

My heart sunk to my stomach, rolling and pounding in a way that made even the worst nausea seem like a tickle in comparison. I could still hear it beating, keeping a rhythm to my racing thoughts. Drowning out the horrible, catastrophic conclusion that I’d made a mistake.

But then his hand shrunk back, and I saw the way it trembled.

“Did you say… ‘when’ you said yes?”

Slowly, my heart found its way back in its rightful place. I wasn’t entirely sure if that was the slightly off center space against my sternum, or in the shaky set of hands belonging to the two people in front of me.

“I did,” I clarified. Just in case I’d really managed to get Spencer Reid to question his own memory.

Then (y/n) spoke, at first just a quick and high-pitched, “Oh.”

The two of them looked at each other, and never really made their way back to me. Their gazes settled at my feet, a sure sign that things hadn’t changed too much. Even after I bared my heart to them, they still couldn’t look me in the eyes. But there was something else, something more confident and sure in her reply that assured me it wouldn’t last long.

“Well,” she said with a bit a chuckle, “in that case, we forgive you.”

Movie night had gotten a lot more interesting as of late. Not because of the availability of rentals, but because of the variety of company shared.

There was simply nothing else comparable to the way I felt then, with my whole body curled up at Luke’s side, listening to the soft thrum of his heart as a metronome for the soundtrack while the credits rolled. Spencer’s gentle breathing was barely audible, and I attributed the fact he was still sleeping soundly to Luke’s magical hands.

They had both been diligently working while the two of us slept, running over and through our hair as required to keep us quiet. At first, it was all just a game, a running gag about how the only way we’d be able to hear the movie well enough to focus was if he put Spencer to sleep. But then I became jealous of how nice it seemed, and soon enough both of us were practically drooling as we collapsed against the man in the middle.

He didn’t seem to mind. I don’t think he even really noticed when I woke up. If it weren’t for the way I scooted closer, he probably would have continued all through the night. But my nose against his neck must’ve tickled just enough for him to pause, turning to me with that smile that had made me fall for him in the first place.

“I warned you that playing with my hair would put me to sleep,” I murmured.

“That’s alright,” he answered, and I knew it was the truth. Not that he was ever the kind to lie. “I don’t mind watching over you two if it means you get some sleep.”

Just like that, he continued to force his way into my heart with each slow bat of tired eyes. Still, I could tell that he would rather be awake and soak in the moment than drift off with us. Because Luke Alvez was, above all else, a gentleman. A protector. A lover. He was, in a word, perfect. I’d been thinking it forever, but I figured then was as good a time as any to make it be known, explicitly and without stuttered words.

“I hope you know how much we appreciate you.”

Air burst from his nose in something resembling a laugh, and I wondered how he could still be so worried about waking the man in his lap. But I wasn’t going to complain. I inch closer to him, using my sleeping boyfriend as an excuse to come nose to nose with Luke. He immediately took it upon himself to bump them together, watching with rapt fascination at the way it caused my smile to double in size. His hand that had been on my hair slid down my back where it drew loving patterns on the exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up.

“You’re a wonderful person and I’m so grateful we got the chance to spend time with you,” I whispered, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead against his in the safety of his embrace.

I tried to commit the moment to memory, but just as soon as I’d spoken, Luke’s nose bumped against me again, forcing me to look up at him again. What I found was as breathtaking as always. Those dark whiskey eyes set through me just like the spirit, causing my skin to burn and my lips to reach forward for his.

But before he let them meet, he stopped to say, “The pleasure is all mine.”

His lips were exactly as soft as I’d always dreamed. I wanted it to last longer, and I used both hands to pull him closer in the limited space on the couch, trying to leave an imprint of my lips on his. Wanting to make sure that he never forgot what it felt like to have me. To know that he would always have a piece of my heart, even if this thing went nowhere.

But how could it, when he kissed me back so feverishly. When even his hand on Spencer’s hair became tighter, unintentionally bringing him into the moment with us. Of course, that little addition was also enough to break my concentration.

We broke apart as I giggled, a devilish, sneaky little sound that persisted when I stuck the tip of my tongue between my teeth.

Luke let the sound go for a few seconds, but eventually broke and asked through his own laugh, “What’s so funny?”

“I got the first kiss,” I proudly announced.

Before Luke could say a word otherwise, Spencer’s sleepy voice burst the moment like a needle through a balloon.  

“No, you didn’t.”

My eyes narrowed at the noisy intrusion into my gloating, but it took me a few seconds longer to actually process what he’d said. Then, the betrayal hit me like a ton of bricks. Luke foresaw what was coming and preemptively moved his head away from me just before I yelled, “Wait, what?!”

“You have been asleep for a while… can you blame me?” Luke pleaded, flashing me a pathetic little pout that could only be rivaled by my own.

Mine was better. I knew this to be true because his fell just as quickly as mine came, and soon enough he had abandoned Spencer in his lap to bring both of his hands to my cheeks and try to wrestle the sadness away.

“Well, do you want to know the good news?” he asked, and the mischievousness in his tone immediately brought me back to life. I was too excited to talk, but he accepted my fervent nod as answer enough and continued, “He might’ve gotten the first kiss, but… he’s only gotten the one.”

Then, before either of us could protest, Luke brought his lips to mine again. I was too shocked to return it as passionately as I had before, but he seemed to prefer it that way. To watch the way my blinking became rapid and my lungs seemed to cease all functioning.

Unlike Spencer’s, which were busy at work while he whined, “Hey! Wait, that’s not fair! It’s my turn!”

And in all of the chaos that ensued, Luke and I eventually accomplished our goal of trading kisses between the three of us until even Spencer lost count.

(Tell me what you thought of this fic here!)