#ralph cornish

I have extremely specific brainworms so I see a parallel between Belinda and Ralph and I need to explain.

So when Three first arrives at the space centre in Ambassadors of Death, he is being super rude in the “I am surrounded by idiot human ants” sort of way. And like it’s genuine. He’s as pissed to be stuck on Earth for Season 7 as I am, and so he is just not seeing people as real people. It takes Ralph standing up to him, refusing to be used like a worker ant so that the Doctor can solve the problem,(1) and thus being the very best friend he possibly could be, to remind the Doctor of the value of his precious idiot humans.(2) He brings the Doctor back to us.

1.

2.

The way that Fifteen doesn’t see people properly is more subtle, but off the back of DoctorDonnaRose, the Legend of Ruby Sunday and Joy the Star of Bethlehem, he’s fallen into the Sutekh trap of seeing people as stories, as mysteries to be solved, or "adventures" as Belinda puts it.(3) Belinda engages with the Doctor on his level and refuses to go in the Companion box, just as Ralph refuses to go in the Standard NPC Who Is Just There To Provide Information box. He is forced to see her.(4)

3.

4.

Look, I hear how that sounds, but the man pulled a gun on the Doctor and Liz! He had it coming! And who could be mad at Ralph's smug little face 😊❤️

C1-3

Chapter 4 - The Look

The Doctor, watching a very stressed Ralph, offers with great intensity to go up in the rocket for him.

Ralph dismisses him for a moment, but eventually realises he is serious. This leads him to give the most intense Look so far. This is the Look that built this ship for me.

My gif-making ability has clearly improved over the last several months, so just consider this one well-worn ❤️

This is followed by a secondary please-don't-get-murdered-before-you-can-pilot-my-rocket Look (I added slo-mo)

Chapter 5 - The Rocket Flight

Ralph really hikes up the space controller shtick when the Doctor's in the capsule, which the Doctor gently ribs.

The Doctor is typically impatient, but the launch is not without incident, all navigated with care by Ralph.

And when there was an issue with the fuel.

The latter two said with utter calm so as not to increase adrenaline levels in his astronaut, thus impairing his function. I'm convinced this was "It's alright, Doctor" no matter what those saubtitles say.

Unfortunately, there is a problem with the fuel. And Ralph, under as much stress as the Doctor is G-Force:

(that's Jon Pertwee holding a hair dryer in his lap by the way)

makes the difficult and risky decision to jettison the Stage 1 rocket, effectively saving the Doctor's life, as it explodes moments later.

Ralph is pissed.

(in my head Ralph says "dear Doctor" like "Elementary, Dear Watson")

After all that, when they finally get the Doctor to the capsule, the Doctor is clearly aware of how Ralph is feeling. (now should be know)

Video too big again but Jon Pertwee's voice is lovely here.

He still finds Ralph amusing, but he knows he's stressed as hell. So instead of making fun of him, he reassures him.

Chapter 6 - After

As the Doctor is returning from the alien ship, he cuts off contact because of the conspiracy. Ralph tries to get him to talk, but he won't. The Brigadier explains to poor Ralph that that's just how the Doctor operates.

There's a really really good Ralph and Brig moment in this episode, but that's for another post.

Finally in the decontamination room, the Doctor receives his orders from Ralph. He is ready to go, but Ralph says he is to wait a few minutes longer for final test results.

A far cry from:

The Doctor may still find Ralph amusing:

But he respects him, trusts him, and has remembered that as much as he wants to be aloof, he just loves his precious idiot humans too damn much. For more on this arc for the Doctor, see here where I compare Ralph to Belinda.

Ralph has also come to feel affection for the Doctor, and is visibly relieved when the contamination tests are all clear.

Unfortunately, just as with Charlie, Reegan has been busy kidnapping the Doctor. So this doesn't last long.

And now Ralph has made a connection with the Doctor AND he's missing. Great. Just great.

Well that's fitting. There are 7 episodes of Ambassadors of Death!

Ch1-3

Ch4-6

Chapter 7 - The End

In the Doctor's absence, Ralph tries everything he can to stop the General bringing annihilation down on them all.

(that's Ralph realising his phone line's been cut off)

WHY WILL NOBODY LISTEN TO RALPH 😭

Well anyway, he's done his best. All because the one thing driving his moral compass is he wants. his. astronauts. back.

All of which is to say that he is a man of substance, and more than a match for the Doctor.

The Doctor, however, is not ready to let go of the distance he is trying to cultivate around himself. He leaves Liz "much more practical than I am" Shaw to help clear up the loose ends, shakes Ralph's hand, and walks off into the sunset.

(note how Ralph's hand holds the shape of the handshake even when he lowers it)

Ralph, like me, was baffled by this abrupt end:

So you can see why I had to go write 80k fanfic and counting about The Life and Times of Professor Ralph Cornish as he navigates his friendship and crush with the Doctor, and generally lives his life.

@bisexualcreature is setting up a bracket to decide the queerest episode of Doctor Who and said we could submit propaganda for our suggestions. I've got lots and lots of Ralph/Doctor content floating around, so I figured it would be good to collect it all into one place anyway. Please enjoy the story of Ambassadors of Death from the POV of my beloved rarepair, Dolph.

Important note: as of a 1997 novel, Ralph Cornish is canonically queer. Which doesn't make a difference to shipping, but I think should help in the bracket!!

---

Chapter 1 - Brigadier, who is this?

Ralph's day begins in stress. He calmly pushes it all down, as he's done many times before, in order to be an oasis of calm for his nervous astronaut, Charlie.

However, when things go terribly wrong in space and he loses all contact with Charlie, he is extremely alarmed. He resorts to repeating the request for contact message over and over, which I can't help but feel is on some level an attempt to regulate his own fear.

You'd think, therefore, that what he doesn't need is some dandy in a cape marching unannounced into his space centre to tell him how to do his job.

(bless you for trying, Brig)

For the most part, he answers the Doctor's questions. Curtly, but he seems to think it'll be faster not to argue with him and to just let the Brigadier deal with it. Essentially, he nopes out. He is a very busy space controller and he has things to do.

But when the Brigadier tells the Doctor that everyone here has a great deal to do, and the Doctor responds that there's nothing anyone can do right now, that's what finally pushes Ralph's buttons.

However, the next two times the weird sound goes off, the sound that signalled the start of their problems, Ralph realises that actually perhaps the Doctor is onto something.

Recovering quickly on the second noise, Ralph knows his priorities. Who cares if the man's rude and doesn't respect my authority - he might be able to save Charlie and the others!

It helps that the Doctor has done some damage limitation at the behest of the Brigadier (who I guess for the purposes of this post is the Doctor's wingman?)

This video was too big to save but Allen and Pertwee are so so so good in this bit please go watch it especially if you have iPlayer ❤️

Chapter 2 - Quiet Sass

Now, just because he's going to get the Doctor the computer time he needs doesn't mean he's turned into some sort of sycophant. He still finds great joy in sassing the Doctor.

Ralph turns around here but I like to think he smiled. "No 😊"

He also has no time for the Doctor trying to remonstrate with him about computer time. He simply speaks to his computer science, reminds him that he is to help the Doctor.

With no more shouting to do, the Doctor can only meekly answer in the affirmative.

Chapter 3 - Teamwork

Ralph face dies a death when he realises the message they're hearing isn't really from Charlie.

The Doctor, realising this, quietly takes control.

Again, the video was too big for the post, but please go comfort yourself with Jon Pertwee's quiet tones <3

Next, they share a grimace when Ralph tells the Doctor he'll need Quinlan's approval for the launch to get the real astronauts back from space. They are, after all, the only two sensible ones here.

To round out the team bonding, they have a go bullying Dr. Taltalian. He had it coming! He pulled a gun on Liz and the Doctor! (for a fuller post on this see here).

I just think they should consider kissing! I'm not saying it would solve the fuel problem but like, couldn't hurt.

Ch4-6