The basis for this song is Besa me, a spanish Bossa nova. I wrote it shortly after returning to germany from my semester in spain. For the chord progression, I thankfully got help from a talented pianist and am very content with how it turned out.

This song unites the bittersweet sentiment of connecting over pain and the positive instrumental vibes.

Five years ago (29 May 2020), I created the account rainbow playlists. This was the first song I uploaded on the channel that was mainly created to curate my music taste and create a library of music respecting LGBTQIA+ people.

Since then reviewed over 1900 songs and sorted them into categories from "respecting the plus" to "banlist".

With my own music, I mainly focused on my "Slowheal" song-cycle accompanying my mental health journey.

All songs from this album were written and produced in spain with inspiration from the music and feelings there. Since I didn't have a studio but only my laptop and headphones in a small flat room, I wasn't content with the quality and removed most of the songs from the album again.

Beastboi is a german Youtuber and rapper. I adore his energetic rap. The instrumental was written with my ex-girlfriend who once went to a "rap course". Well, you can hear my thoughts about that in the song. Lyrics and more information are in the description on Soundcloud.

Here is track number 4:

This is also inspired by a german rapper, namely AK AusserKontrolle feat. Bonez MC. But since I am a big fan of public and emission free transport, I changed to lyrics from "In meinem Benz" to "Mit meinem Rad" (with my bycicle).

I don't know how to share

I always used music to process my feelings, especially when I had no one to talk to about them. This one of those songs.

I had someone to talk to during these times, but we had to sort our differences first that had build up over a long time. There was a lot of anger and frustration on both sides and we both had to evolve to overcome it. We have grown and our bond was strengthened luckily, but it felt good to scream all that I couldn't say out.

Music-wise, this is a mashup of different songs all played on a Drop-D guitar at 135bpm. The "setlist" consists of:

Home is for the Heartless ~Parkway Drive

original ~Fail18

You want a battle? Here's a war ~Bullet for my Valentine

The harder the heart (the harder it breaks) ~Bullet for my Valentine

Worthless ~Bullet for my Valentine

original ~Fail18

Tears don't fall ~Bullet for my Valentine

This blog is from the mind and muscles behind FRecords, Fail18 and rainbow playlists.

Here, I want to talk about the creation process of my music and its meaning twice a week; posts will be queued for every tuesday and thursday (#producer tuesday and #producer thursday) . To relive the history of my old youtube channel and how I learned to produce music the way I do today, I will go through my songs in chronological upload order. Some are lost to time and (disk) space, but most of them are still here. And I'm still writing music.

I focus on metalcore, rock, blues, rap or electronic music, but love a good jam session in whatever may come up.

I'm always looking for inspiration and collaboration! Don't be shy to ask me anything or send me stuff

I might extend this card with an FAQ once it becomes necessary.

Update: I gave up on chronologically posting every song. This is because

a) I want to showcase my latest (and better) work

candy red    neon pink    ochre    lime green    teal    lavender