#railee

nick.grace » mamihlapinatapai

Modern Crossover AU SaruMael KibanaDande

warning: angst angst angst

this requires you to properly imagine nick being capable of developing deep feelings for someone other than grace. i understand this may be hard.

they’re both 25 when nick, of all people, calls the whole extended family back to grey house one weekend.

is the constantly-traveling nick radford actually homesick? she texts him after it comes together in group chat upon group chat.

something like that 🙄😂

bonding, grace. bonding.

the thing is, she’s in a small romantic lull. at least, that’s what she’s telling herself. she hasn’t had a boyfriend since she was 23, dates very scarce in the time between.

that was around the same time nick met kendall. she’s the first serious serious girlfriend he’s ever had.

clearly there’s no connection between those two things.

so grace just feels...weird, in life in general, which in turn makes her worried she’ll still feel off at home.

grace honestly didn’t expect kendall to be at grey house when she arrives friday afternoon, but she is and suddenly the whole vibe is thrown off.

she’s met kendall before, hundreds of times. well. maybe tens. a handful.

grace has been busy with work, activism, etc. if she’s been extra busy since she was 23, then...another coincidence.

kendall is very nice. and she fits in well with both the russells and the radfords, plus the smattering of guests still hanging around.

grace has about two real conversations with nick the whole weekend. she doesn’t know what to think of it. she tries not to think of it.

abigail leaves donavan to his own devices all day saturday—because he fits in well and doesn’t need to be latched onto his partner, unlike someone—and instead pokes at grace’s discomfort.

abigail asks about risky business endeavors and frustrating friendships and basically everything except what she wants to ask. grace insisting every aspect of her life is going just fine convinces abigail further of what she isn’t saying.

that night, grace happens to go to her bedroom the same time nick and kendall head to theirs. the fact that they share a room stirs something unpleasant in her.

she doesn’t think about it.

the next day at breakfast, nick insists everyone goes out to have a big dinner together before they all split off their different ways.

grace couldn’t agree more. she feels like she hasn’t seen just nick the whole weekend.

the rest of the day goes by slowly, grace overwhelmed with her free time. she visits familiar shops in town and runs into old high school classmates.

she sees noah, ironically, coming out of bell, book, & candle. they have a long but surface-level conversation about college and where life has taken them both.

she feels nothing like she figured she might.

she feels fine.

she decides to head to the park, maybe sit on the swings.

abigail intercepts her halfway. they walk arm in arm, something grace doesn’t realize as a ploy to keep her there until it’s too late.

abigail asks how she feels about kendall. grace says she’s just fine. lovely, even.

abigail asks how she feels about kendall being at the “family bonding thing or whatever.” grace says they’ve been dating a long time, it’s to be expected.

abigail asks how she feels about nick dating someone. finally, grace bites: she asks what abigail’s getting at.

abigail suggests they take a stroll down memory lane. she starts from the beginning, before she herself was even in town.

nick’s “bad boy” beginning. being sensitive about her dad. doing the right thing and taking the fall for the statue. slow dance lessons. helping grace get home after abigail’s ill-advised party. opening up to her.

defending her from brenda and co. at school. offering all sorts of snacks when studying at his house. being concerned about her driving fiasco. inviting her to london with him. forgiving her in two seconds flat.

worrying about her in the hospital. seeming like he was going to ask her out. convincing her to study with him. getting her in free to see movies. listening to her about noah. confiding in her about breaking up with courtney.

telling her about their parents’ engagement. forgiving her. their car talk after getting back to the lake house. watching her back about noah going to a different college. making most of his speech about her.

putting up halloween decorations (for her, not her mom). confiding in her about college decisions. the wedding. checking in on her post-breakup. filming her when the comet came around. being proud of her as valedictorian.

abigial doesn’t say it, hoping grace comes to it herself. she doesn’t.

abigail says it.

“grace, were all these things platonic?”

grace is in denial, not vehementally but pretty close to it, so she doesn’t notice abigial steered them away from the park. they’re on the outskirts of the garden, surrounded by all types of flowers.

in the center is nick on one knee, kendall covering her mouth dramatically.

grace visibly deflates, her arm going slack in abigail’s.

and she gets it. she gets why she hasn’t wanted a boyfriend in two years. she gets why being around donavan doesn’t remind of her luke. she gets why seeing noah had no effect. she gets why not speaking to her stepbrother was a subconscious decision. she gets why watching him with someone else this weekend bothers her.

she gets why nick called them all out here this weekend, if kendall throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him is any indication.

and she gets why abigail brought her here to witness it.

abigial squeezes her arm tighter. “i’m sorry. you wouldn’t have come to this conclusion yourself.”

grace can’t find it in herself to be mad. she knows now, why she’s been feeling this way. the not knowing is over.

but the knowing is a completely different kind of hurt.