#rail org

Despite all the interest in Ayn Rand and lately, you likely will not hear anything about the Rail Org from the mainstream media.  This is for two reasons:

1) Because of a liberal socialist conspiracy by the media to keep the true awesomeness of Ms. Rand's accomplishments secret (they're still bitter because if the past ten years have taught us anything, it is that her ideas are more awesome and she won), and

Mr. Rand never really enjoyed the BLANK Box on the Rail Org (see http://tmblr.co/ZhywMvO9h3Ll).  Not like his wife anyway.

Rand Paul was given his name in a super-secret naming ceremony conducted twelve miles under the Earth, which Ms. Rand presided over (the Rail Org has tunnels too, just so you know).  The idea was to prepare him to be a new vessel for Ms. Rand to occupy upon the expiration of her physical body.*  However, something went wrong, and the baby moocher blood the young Mr. Paul drank was tainted, so it didn't take. 

It did drive him insane though.  Not cute funny insane like a Robin Williams movie either.  The kind of insane where he might seem normal for a long time, then the next thing you know he's trying to rip the throat out and drink the blood of that baby you gave him to kiss.

Editors Note:  M. Night Shyamalan is rumored to have been invited to visit Ms. Rand one weekend aboard the Rail Org high above the earth (see http://tmblr.co/ZhywMvKslPde).  However, there has been no official confirmation that he actually attended or was allowed to look over any old drafts.

When asked about the rumored event, Shyamalan responded, "What? No.  I've never been--I don't want to talk about it." 

Ayn Rand built herself a railroad made of magic steel tempered with the will of ‘producers’ who are of course, better than you.  She then traveled around the country on that railroad, picking up other ‘producers’ and teaching them all about her techniques for becoming awesome (and more better than you).

They called the train the Rail Org, and all those rich awesome guys slept in its sleeping cars (called ‘Sleep Boxes’) and ate in the dining cars (called “Eat Boxes”) until of course they become so awesome, and produced so much, that they no longer had to eat or sleep.

Then of course, she died.

But not really! You see, what really happened, was after the producers became so awesome that they did not have to eat or sleep anymore the train moved up into a higher economic bracket, where Ms. Rand and her awesome friends still live to this day, circling over our heads and laughing at all us poor moochers (who they are more awesome than).

I sure do miss them.  This world sure has gone bad since all those awesome guys left us.