Raider Radio, Fallout
"Sup. Fuckers. This is Raider radio, or whatever the fuck we call this shit. I'm here to bring some news because that's what we apparently do now. So...Right...Fuck...Y'know those assholes that got themselves a bar? The combat zone, right? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Cage fights, booze, buncha you and your buddies fucking up whoever looks at you funny. Sounds like a great idea, right? Pfft. Yeah fucking right. Gauze owes me 100 caps because that place got cleared the fuck out. Took them long enough. Like, seriously. Fucking hole full of raiders, and everyone knows where the fuck it is. It was going to happen. If it was the fuck in the vault suit, the idiots in diamond city, or fuck, Just another goddamn gang with a grudge? Yeah. That's why you won't hear us advertising where this shithole is. Anyway, Here's some more fucking music." "Hey, Name's Jackhammer. I'm the greasemonkey in this hell hole. The others got drunk so I'm going to interrupt the music to talk some. Yeah, fuck off. Anyway, This is a segment I like to call "So you found a power armor frame". Those fucking things are goddamn everywhere around here. Where did they come from? Who the fuck knows. Does it fucking matter? Hell no. Anyway. The first thing you gotta do is NOT FUCK WITH THE SERVOS. I'm looking at you, Jim. "But jackhammer!" you say. "I can make them stronger if I just-" NO. STOP. If you fuck with the servos there is a 100% chance you just turned your ticket to becoming the biggest badass of your gang into a heap of scrap metal. Don't fuck with them. You can throw just about fucking anything on top of those things, it doesn't matter, but do not mess with the one thing that makes them actually fucking useful. Anyway, Step two-" "HEY, WHY'D THE FUCKING MUSIC STOP?" "Aw fuck, TAKE ANOTHER FUCKING HIT OF PSYCHO AND OD ALREADY, YOU GODDAMN-" The sound of breaking glass, scuffling, some half-heard curses, and someone cursing loudly as it slowly fades into the background. A new voice comes on. "...Goddamn asshole." Music plays. "Hey. Raider radio. Public service announcement, here. Don't go to fucking sanctuary. No, Fucking seriously. That new place that popped up in the middle of goddamn nowhere? They're insane. Seriously fucking insane. Me and Gauze scoped out that place the other night and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. They got like, a dozen fucking power armor suits sitting around! There's a goddamn tower with like 50 turrets plastered on it like they were lights in a Christmas tree! And god, the people there don't even look happy. I've seen they're eyes. Fucking soulless, Man. Goddamn soulless."
