#radioapples

"You could have knocked three turns ago." 

"Quit peepin' at my hand mothafuckah!"

The game went on like this till everybody, even Husk, who had a stamina for card games, tired of Alastor winning nearly every round and rose from the circular table in front of the bar to go to bed. 

All except Lucifer, who stood up and immediately knocked over a chair, then followed it to the floor himself attempting to right it. 

"Oh this is fuckin hilarious," Angel whipped his cell phone from his chest poof and snapped a photo before Husker could stop him. 

"For my personal collection," Angel said fondly. 

Alastor, who had been putting away the cards, glanced to Husker, who shrugged, going, "I've got this one," gesturing to Angel, "He's all yours." 

"Yours can actually handle his liquor," Alastor returned. "And I am not claiming responsibility for him. Thank you." 

"All seven of you are terrible," Lucifer giggled from the floor, "Why are you letting the room spinnnnn?"

Angel was silently counting on his fingers, "How many extra of each one of us is he referring to do yah think?" 

"Oh for heaven's sake," Alastor said irritably, tossing the envelope of cards onto the table and striding over to help Lucifer to his feet, who was snickering helplessly as Angel held up a few of his arms and said, "Hey, how many fingers am I holding up?" 

"Fuh-fifteen," Lucifer said. "Holy shit. WhyDoYouHaveSoMany?" 

"You are going to have to actually stand up, Lucifer," Alastor said impatiently, while supporting him from underneath an armpit.

"Actually he was right. I was holding up fifteen," Angel grinned, watching as Alastor struggled to hold upright a limp and giggling King of Hell. The radio demon rolled his eyes. 

"His room is on the opposite end of the hotel," Husker said, "So uh, good luck with that," and smirking, tugged off a protesting Angel to leave Alastor with.. 

This thing.

"When did you get so fuckin' sexyy?" Lucifer was saying, his chin on Alastor's lower shoulder. 

Oh, clouds above... 

"Perhaps somewhere around your tenth shot," Alastor snapped. "Come on." 

"Kay." 

Tempted to simply bodily drag him through the hotel, but wary of what Charlie would say if she happened to see him treating her father like a sack of potatoes, Alastor settled with just hauling him along while Lucifer complained, "You walk too fasttt." 

"Well then keep up. And you'd best sober up fast because Miss Mcmillan's fiance is arriving tomorrow to scope out rooms for her wedding venue. And we actually want her to choose the hotel, remember?" 

"OhFuckThat'sTomorrow." 

He sighed. "Yes, Lucifer." 

"My daughter will be....piiiiissed if I'm not there for that.." 

"Exactly." 

"I love her so much, Alastor. That's my baby girl. I'm so proud of her..." 

..."I know." 

Finally, silence. But not for long. Lucifer said, "Do you even care for her? Huh? What are your intentions with her, and her hotel anyways..... 'Cause I can't get a vibe from you and it drives me insane." 

Alastor, finally realizing Lucifer could stand on his own now without support, propped him by his bedroom door and was about to just leave him to go to his own room when a thought hit him, and he turned back around. 

"Wait a moment, will you repeat that last part for me?" 

Lucifer stood on tiptoe to get in Alastor's face, poking him on the chest, "You heard me. You. Drive me. Insane." - each stop in his sentence punctuated by another poke to the chest.

Alastor was grinning, looming over him, "Do I, now? In what way?" 

He was taking in Lucifer's appearance now, how his already flushed cheeks were casted with a deep golden, noting his body language like how he leaned into Alastor.

Leaning in, not even cringing at his closeness. 

Interesting. 

"In every way imaginable," Lucifer glared, "-You. I mean- one minute you actually have a heart, then-" 

"Then what?~" 

"You go and- do something so *evil*, and downright idiotic-" 

"Oh, do go on." 

"I just, it makes me *crazy*, it makes me want to *throat punch* you, it makes me- ah, fuck what the hell." 

Before Alastor could respond to any of this, Lucifer threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. 

When their lips connected Alastor made a noise of protest and tried to break it; but surprisingly strong, Lucifer held on to him, drawing him in by the lapels of his jacket, and Alastor, though shocked, was surprised that he found himself pinning Lucifer against the wall, kissing him back, feeling those hot soft lips against his, the small hands curling in his hair, a hint of tongue, and-

Oh, no. He couldn't do this. Absolutely not. Lucifer was drunk off his ass.

He pried Lucifer's hands away from him with some effort and broke the kiss, growling, "Now see, *that* was an idiotic move on your part." 

Lucifer's breath was hot on his cheek. "You kissed me back. So who's the idiot?" 

"You are drunk. I cannot take advantage of that." 

"Then why are you still here?"

For some reason, Lucifer's unexpected act had completely frozen him in place. He felt a bit unable to move or think. 

Finally, after staring each other down for what seemed an eternity, Alastor was able to make himself back away and turn around to leave.

"For your information," he said,

"I

intend to draw patrons in to the hotel. My intentions with Charlie are to make sure she is set up for success; which I cannot do if I stick around to listen to your drunk ramblings. Good night, Lucifer." 

And he walked off. 

~ 

What a splitting headache. 

Lucifer, his head pounding, made his way to one of the many hotel kitchens and brewed some coffee there, still buttoning his vest up and tying his bowtie, checking his reflection in a nearby metal toaster to make sure that his hair wasn't too bird nested. 

"Good morning, dad!!!!" Charlie busted into the door, making him jump and cringe. She was singing away, and remarked, "Ooh, coffee" 

Now that his daughter was around, it was time to slide into a role that didn't involve feeling like a groggy piece of shit. Lucifer forced a stupid grin, and said, "Morning, sunshine!"

Charlie hummed and did a little butt wiggle while she poured her own coffee then began scrimmaging around in the cabinets for a poptart. Someone else pushed their way into the room and opened the fridge. Jeez, was this the only stocked kitchen in the entire hotel?

Last night. ...He wasn't sure if he'd dreamed it or not. Pouring creamer into his coffee, and while Charlie's back was turned, he allowed his mind to wander and nudged through the mists of blackout that was the night before. 

He had been playing gin rummy with Husker, Angel and Alastor; yeah, that checked out. He remembered laughing a lot.

He inwardly cringed. He'd done a lot of laughing about dumb shit. After that things had gotten a bit blurry. Had someone helped him to his room? He thought he remembered that, at least. 

"Mornin', Aluhfter!" He heard Charlie say through a mouthful of poptart. 

Lucifer nearly dropped the creamer on the floor. As it was, it fell over on the counter anyway, and he ended up having to dust powder from the surface into a napkin and toss it into a nearby trash can. 

Alastor had helped him to his room. 

"Good morning, Darling. Don't speak with your mouth full. You'll get crumbs on the floor." 

"Right! Shorry! I mean" she gulped, "Sorry. Manners. You're right. You ready for this afternoon?" 

While they spoke about hotel plans, Lucifer continued cleaning up an invisible mess that had been clean several minutes prior, and oh shit, he had to escape the room somehow but could he do that without making eye contact with- 

He turned around and came face to face with Alastor. 

"Uhh" 

Dammit, upon scoping the room for an out, he realized Charlie had already left. 

The radio demon was grinning, as he always was. 

"Good morning ~," he purred, "Sleep well?" 

"Y-yeah, sure did," Lucifer was edging his way to the door, coffee in hand, reaching for his hat which he had plopped onto the counter before fixing his bowtie. Gah, the brim was covered in coffee cream powder. Shit. And his hat apple was missing. 

Alastor had helped him to his room, and that kiss - had not, in fact, been a dream. He remembered it all now. 

"So if you'll excuse me- hey, where did you get that apple?" 

"Oh this?" 

Alastor was tossing the fruit in the air, catching it, "I needed it for my breakfast. Hope you don't mind." 

Lucifer glared, "So that's where all my hat apples have been going." 

Alastor examined the fruit, holding up a hand as if to say 'excuse me', grabbed a knife from beside the sink and sliced it in half.

"On second thought, you can have this half of it back."

Lucifer was finding a whole lot of trouble getting pissed off right now as Alastor stuck the apple half back onto its place in Lucifer's hat brim. 

"Um. Alastor? Did I...?" He cringed inwardly, "Did I do anything embarrassing last night..?" 

"Hmm. No more than usual. You've got coffee creamer on your boots, by the way." 

Okay, there was no way Alastor didn't remember the kiss. The way he had kissed him back, Lucifer thought surely...

Maybe there could have been something there. 

Alastor winked, "Better get cleaned up before our guests arrive, Applesauce.~" 

The radio demon took the hat from his hands, placed it on Lucifer's head, then gave it a fond little pat, making coffee creamer snow down to the floor. 

"Tata." 

"Ugh, you can fucking have the rest of this apple, you nut case!" Lucifer yanked it off his hat and tossed it in Alastor's direction, but the radio demon was already halfway through the door, and it just hit the wood and bounced to the floor. He could hear Alastor cackling madly.