#quidhitch

Welcome to our second week of confessions! All the confessions can be found underneath the cut and the creators they’re about are tagged to make sure they can find out about your confessions! Please feel free to use the comment function to talk and discuss too, if you want!

for the 🌻: i think a lot about the reproductive cycles of the black lace weaver spider and the guppy fish. a few days after the eggs of the black lace weaver hatch, the wee spiderlings will puncture the mom’s stomach and SUCK OUT HER SLOWLY MELTING INSIDES FOR FOOD. and then she dies? um. what a good mom. on the other hand, when the guppy fish’s eggs hatch, the baby fish swim away reAL FAST because the mom fucking CHASES DOWN THE LITTLE FRY in order to EAT THEM. learning is important! nature is fun!

for the 💗: here’s an excerpt from a stevetony abo fic i’ll never write:

“You’re what.”

“I’m having a baby,” Tony repeated.

“My baby,” Steve clarified.

“I don’t… understand,” Fury said for the 11th time.

Tony had never seen the man look so distraught.

“Well, Director, I don’t know if you ever watched an after school special, but when an alpha and an omega love each other very much—“

“I thought you two hated each other!” Fury exclaimed, verging on hysteria.

“Um.” Steve shifted his weight from one foot to another, nervously, like a four year old boy who really wanted to go to the loo, instead of the world’s most formidable soldier. “As it turned out. That wasn’t really a problem.”

“Hating each other. That wasn’t a problem,” Fury repeated.

Tony smirked at him. “Honestly? It helped.”

Fury made a sound like he wanted to commit seppuku.

“You asked,” Tony pointed out unhelpfully, and Steve wondered why there weren’t ever any planes to die in when you needed them most. 

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Additional Tags: Christmas, Post-Divorce, Fluff, there's also... lol, Clint Barton's Special Brownies: A Signature Home Remedy for Holiday Stress, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting Summary:

Although Tony typically makes it a point to avoid anything that could be reasonably classified as Pepper-approved self-betterment, he will be making an exception this year in the form of a list of New Year’s Resolutions. —Well, not so much a list, exactly, it’s more like one very loud, very obvious, very critical proposition. He’s gonna write it down, put it on his calendar, say it to Jesus, and do whatever the fuck normal people do to make these things happen. In fact, even though they’re only halfway through December, it’s already emblazoned in his mind in big, flashing neon letters: STOP SLEEPING WITH EX-HUSBAND.

mature

no archive warnings apply

7 404 words

completed

justin oluransi/adam birkholtz

When Ransom meets Adam Birkholtz for the first time he’s wearing a t-shirt that’s half a size too small for him, jeans that are worn out in the ratty way, and Birkenstocks that look about a thousand years old. His glasses are crooked on his nose and he introduces himself with a loud, booming laugh even though Ransom hasn’t said anything particularly funny. Ransom thinks it’s the kind of laugh that moves mountains, full and round and beautiful.

“Everyone calls me Holster,” Adam says, squeezing Ransom’s hand before he lets it go.

“Cool,” Ransom’s smile back is a reflex, the easiest, most natural response to Holster’s toothy grin. “I’m Ransom.”

“Sick nickname,” Holster tosses an arm around Ransom’s shoulder’s without warning. He is very large and very warm, and his breath smells like cinnamon. “You know what, Ransom? I think we’re gonna be tight.”

I was tagged by @quidhitch to post my lock screen, home screen, most recently played song, and most recent selfie! I don’t post selfies on the internet because 1) i’m terrible at selfies and 2) ~internet safety (lol), but you can see the other three. :) lock screen is from the lego store in new york, home screen doesn’t really require an explanation, and yes i’ve been listening to the gotg mixtape on repeat since i watched the 2nd movie last weekend, what’s it to you

Daddy Lessons feat. The Dixie Chicks

teen and up audiences

no archive warnings apply

6 304 words

completed

derek nurse/william poindexter

“Awww, looks like Dex appreciates a lady in uniform,” Nursey teases, tucking his feet a little further beneath Dex’s thighs. “You have a thing with the head cheerleader back in high school Dexy? Hold her pom poms and kiss her whatnot?”

Dex seems to be contemplating something, and Nursey figures it’s one of his lame clapbacks like your mom’s a pom pom. He brings the bottle to his mouth, smiling around the lip of it.

“Actually, I’m more of a captain of the football team kinda guy.”