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oh my god. you call Midas a fair god ONCE and it all goes down to shit
why did they kill me. thats like the one thing. I WAS THE ONLY ONE
and of course Noah won. of course it was him. 2nd time, *in a row*
now everyones gonna praise them. not me
nobodys gonna care about me now. i havent won twice *in a row*
this was the perfect cycle too.. i was sapphire. it was an odd numbered cycle...
why Midas. *why*
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i am one of the most loyal people to Midas.
but fucking hell that is not Midas.
i really, really dont like this.
the razzles on my face hurt. pretty sure they make noises sometimes and i dont like it.
Quixis, why is this allowed?
I'm.. hah. I really didn't expect that.
I'm not sure how I feel about winning for citrine. It's a cursed team and it always will be. But I have won twice while being citrine.
Even Midas seems to be tired of me winning so much compared to others. But I do like seeing them so shocked. Can't say I wasn't shocked myself, but. It's fun.
The.. voices, I guess, are a new development. I could hear the things, whenever they mentioned me. Their cheers echoed in my head during the fight and honestly just worsened the headache.
It's weird having people cheer for me. I.. know Lockette did. I still haven't actually talked to her properly. I doubt I ever will. But it's nice to know that those out there hold something other than hate for me. Some of them at least...
I COULDVE FUCKING WON THAT
I FAILED SO BAD
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO KILLED ME BUT IT WAS MY FUCKING FAULT
I WOULDVE BEEN FINE IF I WENT OUT IN A FAIR WAY
BUT ME FAILING IS THE WORST FUCKING THING
SARANYA WOULDVE SEEN THAT god i bet she wont wanna team with me anymore
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A FAILURE AT EVERYT-
why am i even asking myself. ITS THEIR FUCKING FAULT
we're both failures, Expyr. youre flawed at your core, as much as i am. we both failed terribly. we're both failures.
also those fucking fights piss me off so much. i cant really move right now. im in the void now but i think the rest saw something was wrong.
it was a 2v1 this time. not a 4v1 or whatever it was last time. but this time was worse. last time it was pathetic. this time it was.. it was just bad. i suppose fits with the Razzles theme.
if those bastards team up on me like that one more time they will, they will continue doing that, they always will i genuienly dont know what will happen to me.
Midas wont do anything about it. they like you dying. they like that its unfair. razzles or not, they always did. but youll stay loyal to your Midas, wont you.
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uhm. so. that happened.
its- its fucking hard to believe? im still in shock i think-
the void makes it hard to feel emotions but- i *should* feel a lot of emotions right now-
i mean hell im *the* 3 time victor! im *the* first ever champion of the queue!
nobody has done that! nobody has even won twice besides me! im *the* fucking guy!
i have no idea how that happened- i didnt even realize i killed them until Midas said my name-
i.. i was citrine. god the irony
i was citrine and i killed Midas. just like in cycle 1. i was citrine and altho i killed Rina, it was still a Sherb. thats a wild fucking thing to happen twice-
people were.. people were cheering for me. citrines mostly, obviously, but-
i think some people were definitely annoyed- Arlo seemed to be- i cant blame them, if i wasnt myself id be pretty annoyed at me too-
but... despite being citrine i still won. and i won the challenge with the villagers. and i won two mini events...
im the first queue champion... and i get to keep it as my own title for a whole year-
i just wish Fitz was around to see it... not even Saranya was there- or Nugget..
they.. hm
they dont care whether its me or it they talk to... it just doesnt seem to be any different for them..
...maybe they like it more than me- at this point i really dont even talk to them much, huh- its mostly it talking to them, and they seem to have a way better time during that-
theres really no difference to them...
i thought this cycle was going good-
i- i did it? some fucking how
god. is this enough for people to fucking notice me? THE FIRST FUCKING DOUBLE VICTOR
HEAR THAT??
HEAR THAT MILO? HEAR THAT EVERYONE WHO KEEPS IGNORING ME?
IS THIS ENOUGH FOR YOU? FOR SOMEONE TO FINALLY NOTICE ME?
or is my destiny truly to just be alone all the time.
foolish of you to think this will change anything. so, so foolish.. people have their teams. they wont notice you, they have enough. youre not important, no matter what you do.
