#queesntown

Singapore | 2021

Queenstown

blooming.

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After a brilliantly fun, but travel heavy, first 5 days of the trip, we had a few days down time to spend in Queenstown – with things to do each day but still it meant we didn’t have to be in the car for multiple hours. Queenstown is known for daring adventures, high adrenaline activities and skiing, as it was slightly out of season and none of us are snow bugs, we stuck with the first 2! Alessa and I had booked a skydive for the next day – I always thought I was too chicken to do a skydive because the idea of being crammed into a rickety plane was a lot, let alone then willing myself out the door. But after a year of flying around it didn’t seem so bad after all; plus, with someone else willing to do one, I couldn’t pass it up. You tend to book these excursions in town and they make you watch a safety video or something and then take you where you need to be on a shuttle bus, Andy wanted to come along too to watch and I guess make sure if we died that he would see it; can’t do much to stop it at that point. The location is about 20 mins out of town near an old airstrip that this skydiving company had taken over, as you are arriving other groups are jumping/landing/getting ready; it’s a well-oiled machine. We were taken into the hangar area to get weighed and put on our jumpsuits (literally) which were big onesies plus very silly caps and glasses as the wind does batter you a bit and they want you to actually see what’s going on around you. You meet your jumping partner and discuss what they expect of you – there are certain body positions when jumping out or landing etc. that stops you breaking limbs or giving them a broken nose and we went over the photo/video options. Alessa and I had gone for the semi full package (the next one up being an extra jumper to film you from afar) which included photos and film from your partners little hand camera. I’m glad we did go for that, as watching the film back you capture the scenery a bit better than still photos with my stupid face in the way!

If I recall we did have to wait a bit as they get you there early for your slot, but then the plane landed again and it was our turn. We loaded on the plane to sit, there was basically just a long thin seat in the middle, we had to enter the plane, walk all the way to the back and then turn so we were straddling the seat, facing front. Your tandem partner gets in first and you shuffle right down in between their legs so you can be attached together front to back, then the next instructor gets in and shuffles right into your personal bubble awaiting their partner; it was super cosy. We flew up to 12,000 ft, there is one higher but as well as being more expensive it adds an oxygen requirement for the first few thousand feet which sounds complicated and like it might distract from the whole experience. So, 12,000 ft comes around and the doors open and we start throwing ourselves out, each pair in front goes and then me and my partner shuffle up towards the door. To get into the right positioning for them on the edge of the door, they basically hang you out, dangling out the plane door in thin air, no turning around now, and your partner is the one to jump; I’m sure they do ask if you still want to go ahead last minute but it’s all a bit of a blur so I just remember having very little input in whether we were coming out that plane of not! And then… free falling! I remember it struck me how cold it was, like I wasn’t expecting the air at 12,000 ft to be so cold as I breathed in, but everything else was just in-fucking-credible. We had picked Queenstown, partly to fit in with the diary, but also because if you are going to jump out of a plane, the views better be extraordinary; and boy did they not disappoint. You jump out overlooking Lake Wakatipu, The Remarkables mountain range (which they tell you with great joy are about 8,000ft) and across towards Queenstown, but you can see so much further in all directions. Across all the mountains which were snow-capped and beautiful, the green, rolling landscape in the non-mountainous area and the roads and waterways that map the area. According to the website, the free fall lasts only about 60 seconds before the chute is pulled, but I don’t really remember specifics, just that the whole thing was amazing; the views were phenomenal 360 and I think I just kept saying ‘wow’. Then the parachute is deployed and your insides try to become your outsides, I did not enjoy this part, the straps jump up into your groin and you start to float towards the landing zone. The instructor pulls some little cords to send us one way or the other, it looks majestic and beautiful, the parachute gently rolling us around a corner, flicking the legs up to the side and going with the wind rather than a straight line. What it feels like is terrible motion sickness, coupled with bilateral leg constriction and the fear of vomiting several thousand feet in the air – I mean, that could kill someone if it landed on them right! Anyway, we gently came down closer and closer to the ground and then they ask you to lift your legs up in front of you so you don’t leave one behind you on landing and dislocate your hips. With tight straps and minimal core to engage, it’s not the easiest thing to do, but I managed by holding them up with my hands and we slid across the floor on our arses and came to a stop; Alessa came down similar time to me, so once unshackled we ran to find each other and had a post skydive hug and group photo!

Buzzing from the morning’s activities, on return to town we headed straight for a pub for a well earned beer, 1876 pub serves pints in glasses that fill from below with a little rubber disc covering the hole. We sat in the garden, in the sunshine enjoying a cold brew, occasionally interrupted by yells from around the garden as idiots stick their fingers up the disc and are swiftly covered in their pint; not me though… I’m smart. (No, I did, I did it too.) Mo and LJ came back into town from their morning in Arrowtown and met us in the sunny garden before discussing what our afternoon would look like. Top of my list always is to go up the skyline gondola for the view but also then to luge around for a couple of hours, is it legal to luge half cut? So, this we did stretching from afternoon to early evening before heading out for a Saturday night in Queenstown, I’m sure I talked people into a Ferg burger, but I can’t remember if this was this night or the one before. It was a chilly night, being September and barely out of Winter, but we wrapped up and sat near the heaters, gently people got tired and went home and it was left with just me and Mo – standard. Instead of unomass we ended up out until probably 2ish and went to several bars, the final one was the underground, stuffy bar I went to on the previous bar crawl. There were a few young girls there who were being encouraged to take their tops off and dance in just their bras, who hasn’t, but then the bar tender who was at least 20 years older started spraying them with the soda water gun – gross. To my amazement, on the way out, Mo, who had been getting uncomfortable with this whole scene (standard) actually said something to the bar tender about it making him uncomfortable and the role of a 30 something man to vulnerable young people etc; I’m sure the guy just told him to fuck off but still, good work. We crawled into bed after a great night out, trying not to wake anyone and ready for a chilled out day tomorrow.

Andy and Alessa had fancy plans at a local hot tub place, so they were up and out before the rest of us emerged; eventually we headed round the corner to a café for a fat boy breakfast. Multiple plans for the day were bandied about but ultimately given our foggy heads and Mo’s inability to eat his breakfast, we decided to have a total chill day in the hostel lounge with some DVDs and snacks. I had brought some DVDs to NZ with me, but obviously not to QT so we hoped the hostel would have some good movies. We were not disappointed, going back to our teen years we watched Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2 and 3! Once the hot tubbers returned, we then tried to rectify Alessa’s gaps in knowledge by watching Fellowship of the Ring (extended edition) which I’m told she really enjoyed, I mean she quite liked it… yea it was alright. For dinner we found a local pizza place called Fat Badger which did 20-inch pizzas and some poutine, so to really recover from the hangovers we stuffed our faces in the lounge with LOTR in the background; what better way to spend a Sunday. The next day was fly back to Auckland and check into another Air bnb day, which again was pretty near me on the north shore. This hostel came with a very friendly couple, a separate lounge for our use and a fridge full of beer and wine which they said was fair game (I think we were their first customers). They also had a hot tub which we were getting ready to use when the heavens opened, not to be deterred as true Brits, we stayed in the tub and just put up some umbrellas. Carrying on from the previous night, we put on The Two Towers to watch while having dinner and then I went back to my place before our road trip tomorrow.

The road trip was a repeat for me, but I couldn’t really let me friends come all the way to NZ north island and not go to Waitomo, Rotorua and Hobbiton! (Like I’m complaining about having to go there again?!) I recommended the black water rafting instead of the simple tour of the Waitomo caves as it gave us a bit more activity to enjoy, in hindsight, not everyone was loving it! We drove down in time for the afternoon excursion which again involved jumping backwards into cold water (although I knew about the photos so tried to pose) then wandering through glow worm bedazzled caves with a few small waterfalls to spring off. We were joined by a few people from a kiwi bus type tour, who were all British needless to say, and a nice bunch of people; the part where you link rubber rings and float under the glow worms in silence is magical no matter how many times you do it. The mention of eels under the water towards the end made for a swift exit (apparently, they just hang around near the way out), I’ve never seen people move so fast on an inflatable ring! Hot soup and tea were served while we warmed up and waited for our photos before driving around trying to find our air bnb – it was up on a farm somewhere, through gates and over cattle grids so took a bit of work. It was a great find though, once we got there, as it was basically an old farmhouse, with separate rooms, a decent sized kitchen/dining area and a pile of board games to play. We had to open and close and gates we went through to stop the cows escaping, but once we were in, we were in; after jumping around in cold water all we were up for was some dinner and games including a Star Wars game that separated the jedi from the wookies (I’m sorry I can’t name 10 star wars planets). The next day we were heading just down the road to Otorohanga, where I had stayed the first time I visited the caves, for a quick jaunt into the kiwi house. We were planning to go to Rotorua for afternoon and evening plans, but as it’s a short drive I recommended we stop in to see what the bird sanctuary was like. Turns out, it’s amazing, there are loads of different birds – some in cages, some in a walkthrough aviary, some you can feed grain to and then the kiwis in their nocturnal house. There are some keeper talks and feeding sessions you can watch and get involved in as you walk through the sanctuary, including finding the elusive tuatara that lives in the undergrowth. The Keas were probably my favourite birds, they were all ladies except one fella who would jump in as soon as the food arrived to snaffle all the egg so he wouldn’t miss out (then saunter round with egg on his face like he hadn’t just shamed himself). In the walkthrough aviary, you can put some grain in your hands and the kakariki come and perch on you to eat it, flitting between everyone. There's lots of native plants around, the sun was shining and we found the tuatara enjoying the warm rays; a great place to visit!

A short hour and a half drive from Otorohanga, we came to Rotorua – we were booked into a central hostel so drove right into the middle of town, checked in and then separated for different activities. LJ, Mo and I headed back out of town a short way to Adventure Playground for a Horse Trek up in the hills overlooking Lake Rotorua, we were introduced to our horses (I was given a beautiful white stallion) and headed up the path. The guide took us up the hill to enjoy the views over the lake and surrounding green hills looking back at the city centre, trekking through native bush with birds and other animals; it threatened to rain but actually held off! We were part way round, when the guide started telling us how the horses they have are often old work horses who have retired, including some from TV and movies. Turns out the one I was riding was in Lord of the Rings (already excited) had I seen it (holy shit) that horse was ridden by Liv Tyler’s character just in case you’ve seen the movies (she has no idea); I was riding the horse that played Asfaloth. LJ’s horse, Huhu was a little rounder than the others, so the straps to the saddle were a bit precarious around his belly. After reaching the mid-way point, we started back down the hill towards home base; heading down seems to be a bit harder for horses, so Huhu did start a bit more swaying than on the way up. Part way down the hill, the saddle starts to slip around to the side, and no shimmying would rectify it, although round, Huhu was still quite tall so was a daunting prospect for LJ who started to fall off! Thankfully, she has some experience with horses, and was able to control her fall by launching herself off Huhu rather than be at the mercy of the swivel saddle, she landed beside him flat on her front and although winded, was not hurt, stupid Huhu. We made it back down the hill to safety and climbed off the horses, this time, before returning to the hostel and grabbing our swim stuff for a soak at the Polynesian Hot Pools. Unlike some of the other sites I’d been to, this was very commercial, for one you pay to go in, but they also have actual bathrooms and changing areas etc so it is definitely posher than the local river. Given Huhu being an ass, a good soak was exactly what was needed, followed by a restful-ish night in our own room at the hostel. The benefit of being 5 travellers, is that you can book out a 6 person room and more often than not have it to yourselves. This was definitely preferable on the night that I tried to leap sideways out of my bunk into the other bottom bunk and then run for the light switch to illuminate the room at 3am, obviously there were spiders crawling out of the bed above me, so I was in peril for my life guys…

After a slow morning start with a small breakfast, we excitingly piled into the car and drove out to Matamata to visit the Hobbiton movie set, we had booked for the lunch and tour combo which meant we got to have a massive buffet lunch, a gentle amble around set and finished with a free pint in the Green Dragon – could we be more hobbit. The buffet is all salads, roasted kumara and tasty meats, the amble takes you past Bag End, the party tree and Sam’s house and finishes at the Green Dragon pub next to the lake and mill where you can enjoy a free beer, made, solely for Hobbiton, nearby. You are then free for a short time to wander round the pub and if so inclined, dress up as hobbits to take pictures (of course we were, did you see the Twizel pictures!?) The other activity that one should do in Rotorua is go to a Hāngī at any one of the number of Māori run evenings, however, a Hāngī is another giant buffet meal, which I thought would be lost on us a bit given we were stuffed from lunch still. So, we spent the evening in Rotorua, found a local night market for a small bite and enjoyed the city centre; finishing with a few pints before rolling back down the streets to bed.

The next day was the last full day for 2 of our travellers, Andy and Alessa, and they had a hotel booked in central Auckland to make it easier to get to the airport the following morning, so we drove back up from Rotorua straight to our activity for the day – Kelly Tarlton’s. KT is an aquarium out east of central Auckland named after a NZ marine conservationist and the man who pioneered the curved acrylic tunnels that can be found in so many aquariums now. It’s a fairly standard aquarium, with the expected activities and animals, but on top of this, they have a massive sub-Antarctic penguin colony made up of King and Gentoo penguin living together. They have ice to walk around and water to swim in, you enter below the water and walk around the outside of their enclosure to become level with the ground – and that’s when the smell hits you. Penguins, obviously wild animals, do not have any sort of toilet training plus they eat fish so their whole enclosure is pretty rank – any up-close photos are definitely hiding a held breath. They also make a lot of noise screeching at each other or at the keepers who wander around with buckets of fish, the moulting babies are my favourites, they look like moody teens with stupid hairdos. Other exhibits include a recreation of Captain Scott’s hut – a walkthrough replica with a bed, clothes and memorabilia on the walls, apparently the original has been preserved in Antarctica since 1911 so it’s easy to replicate. Turtle bay and turtle rescue which rehabilitates sick turtles and then releases them into the EAC (dude) and as expected a huge tank and walkthrough tunnel with conveyor belt, to limit any exercise, where you can see all sorts of native NZ fish, ray and sharks. Once we had had our fill of the fish, we drove back to mine for a quick wash up and unpack, we left our leavers in town to check into their place so Mo and LJ stayed at mine rather than paying out for another Air bnb. For the last night I wanted to take my guests to a Korean BBQ place that gives you a table BBQ to cook your meats, plus 8-10 little side dishes that can be refilled a number of times. I had been once before and it was great fun, we stuffed our faces (a theme of this trip!) taking it in turns to cook the meat, I’m sure there’s some flawless business model here of get the guests to cook their own food at a restaurant, but we enjoyed ourselves. A pub next door was doing towers of beer, so we settled in with a couple of them to really toast the half ending of the kiwi adventure; Andy and Alessa were off home but I had a few more days with Mo and a week with LJ to look forward to. Those who weren’t flying the next day headed back to mine as we had prebooked a harbour tour the next day to try and see some wildlife; so, we sensibly stayed up till 3am drinking gin…