1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? weetzie bat // buffy the vampire slayer // shell games by bright eyes. this lineup feels very Serious but it comes from the heart. @hypothetical person trying 2 understand me: i am not this intense

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. omg i have so much shame surrounding the term fandom but im just gonna go for it: 

shameless // ian and mandy

buffy // buffy and dawn

angel // cordelia

one direction [lmao] // im definitely niall or maybe harry

harry potter // luna

the 100 // i was gonna say clarke bc i love her + she is blonde but actually?? maybe monty

marvel // natasha

star wars // leia :) because she’s the only girl in the whole movie #femalerepresentation #feminism #fuckthepatriarchy 

star trek // janice rand for her beehive hairdo

skins // cassie but actually sid

pretty wild [this is a fandom fuck u nerds] // jk i can’t choose i love all the neiers sisters equally

thinking about it i actually don’t really identify with characters very much somehow. there were very few of these where i was like “i know exactly who to say” and even then i was saying them more because i’ve thought about this before and not because i actually feel a Deep Connection. idk whatever.

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do? im not gonna lie i have literally no idea what this means. i don’t think i identify myself solely by my actions though. i feel like identity isn’t necessarily something you do – i think pretty constantly about my place in the world, for example, but i don’t know if i’d consider that thinking an action, despite how important it is to the development of my identity.

7. do you care about your ethnicity? ethnicity is so fucking complicated, and its dumb because im basically just a melting pot mess of various random european countries, but i do care? i feel like i am constantly looking for roots everywhere – instability is discomforting to me, which is a very taurus impulse lol. im not just looking for ethnic/cultural roots but thats a way it manifests. idk but anyway i identify pretty strongly as sicilian american despite not being super sicilian and also sort of as ashkenazi jewish despite being even less ashkenazi jewish. but also i feel like those ethnicities come out in weird ways?? i don’t speak italian, im not catholic, but my mother can make cannoli and meatballs and she’s teaching me and whenever anyone comes over we feed them. i don’t go to shul, i didn’t have a bat mitzvah and all the genuinely jewish members of my family are gone, but i’ve always identified with the sterotypical jewish families on tv bc after all these years that culture is still there, and sometimes i’ll hear weird echoes of historical trauma with my dad or uncles, and even though my dad has never been religious my parents had to have a rabbi at their wedding. things live on. 

idk idk idk!! this is annoying. im sorry if you actually read it. 

9. are you an artist? sometimes i worry im not for whatever reason but ive decided that yes, i am. so yes. :)

11. describe your ideal day. omg there are so many options here!!! i love travelling, not necessarily even being somewhere else but being on the move? i like little spaces where you aren’t here or there, i like watching things on those little airplane screens or on my laptop in the car, i like listening to music really loud, i like eating incredibly shitty food at rest stops. i also like spending quiet days at home with my cats and watching tv and hanging out with myself. i like spending days with my friends and being weird and hanging out all day and just laughing for hours. there are so many ways a day can be good i can’t pick one. 

13. inside or outdoors? inside tbh. sometimes outside but like city outside. not like the woods bc i lowkey hate nature lol

15. five most influential books over your lifetime. the harry potter series, peter pan, it’s kind of a funny story, the sisterhood of the traveling pants series, and the warriors books lmao

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? i would, actually. i think it’s a really nice snapshot of me over several years and i hope tumblr never goes bankrupt bc i would like to be able to see who i was on, like, august 17 2013, in 15 years, and be able to look.

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? hufflepuff 10000%. #squad

21. do you love easily? i don’t think so, no. i am not very good at forming new relationships. i love the people i love a lot, and so it takes me a bit to love new people.

23. how often would you want to see your family every year? i mean, right now i live at home so im like “i never wanna speak 2 any of u ever again” all the time but my family is fairly close, especially my extended family, so i feel like once i move away i’ll want to see them more. i actually will probably end up missing them a lot.

25. could you live as a hermit? for a while. i don’t know how long. i tend towards being very solitary, and i can be really happy on my own, but after a while i go a little crazy. but then again maybe i’d ~~make friends with nature~~ or something and then i wouldn’t ever feel alone and it’d be just like a terrible adventure novel from 1975.

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”? i don’t know. i like the way i look, but i do think that it is a little sunnier than my actual attitude of Angsty Teenager. I think my perception of myself is that i look a little scary and goth all the time, but in reality i have bleach blonde hair and i wear denim cutoffs most day and i think i usually look like a camp counselor. maybe the camp counselor from the arts and crafts cabin, but maybe not even that. maybe, like, the camp counselor who does sports. im a fake goth. one time my dad said i was a goth on the inside and i screamed.

29. three songs that you connect with right now. don’t forget where you belong // one direction, i blame myself // sky ferreira, feeling myself // nicki & bey

6: Best memories from 2014? meeting a dumb baby, getting really drunk in emma’s car before homecoming (and then being sad bc u got in trouble), having this really cool girl from school drunkenly tell me how cool i was at a party, going to the beach, hanging out on a raft with my two cousins and telling the younger one what smoking pot was like, going camping and talking about life, hanging out with the girls i babysit and going to movies and shoe stores and being a Really Cool Fun Babysitter

10: If you could relive one day from 2014, which day would you choose and why? this is so hard!!! i would probably relive homecoming bc i would try 2 save u from the evil clutches of the administration and then make better choices re: which boys to give hickeys to on the dance floor.

14: Who were the most meaningful people in your life this past year? my parents, franny, molly, my cats, sydney, smack, my therapist, sarah, jioni, ian gallagher and mickey milkovich, ella, bea, you, one direction, maddy

16: Who’s the coolest person you met in 2014? HMMMM probably someone from my internship?

20: What’s the greatest achievement you made this year? having work i did put up in a semi-gallery/art show for people to buy for real money!!

24: What’s the best gift you received this year? the small cut out photo of drake from the newspaper that my mother put in a jewelry box with “to isabel from santa” on it. alternately my camera and my phone

30: Saddest day of the year? the funerals i went to

34: Did 2014 meet your expectations? i think it actually did i knew going in that it would be something of a shitshow lol but im proud of what i did this year and im excited for next year to be better

36: Would you say you’ve changed during this year? im looking through my tumblr posts from january and i feel like i haven’t actually changed that much, im sure i’ve evolved and become different and such but at the same time i feel like i’ve become who i want to be to a certain extent and im not looking at the things i said a year ago with embarrassment. i like who i am now and i dont think i want to change much. (flash 2 me in a year reading this with my head in my hands)

40: What’s the kindest thing you did in 2014? not dying when a little girl i was babysitting pooped her pants tbqh