Okay so last night my friend sent me an article from The Onion in which it was “revealed” that the American flag was originally designed as a flamboyant tank top for Betsy Ross’s flaming gay friend.  Not going to lie, I adored this idea so much, I was disappointed it was only satire.  So my friend and I came up with a little game.  Basically, here’s the deal: queer people and other minorities get erased from history all the time, so let’s ave some fun by doing the exact opposite.  Replace any historical figure you want with a alternative queer identity of your choice, especially if they’re super problematic, or telling a bigot would piss them the hell off!  Remember: this is just for fun, maybe don’t actually tell bigots about your history AU’s unless you’re really sure you’re ready to deal with that.  Anyway, here were a few I came up with already.  Reblog and add your own!

-Christopher Columbus the problematic and murderous colonizer with a shitty sense of direction has now been replaces with Chrissy C. the sassy gay man who arrived on Hispaniola and gave them the gift of fashion shows, drag, and taught them how to “spill the tea” before waltzing peacefully off into the sunset and not telling the Spanish a word about his new friends.

-Genghis Khan, a butch lesbian who spent her days frolicking the Asian Steppe with her adorable femme girlfriend.

-Napoleon Boneapart,  Gay as hell.  ‘Nuff said.

-Julius Caesar was a bisexual women in a polyamorous relationship with Cleopatra and Marc Antony, who was a fabulous hair dresser of course, and pan as hell.

-Everyone in the bible was trans.  Everyone.