An ode to the one
It’s 3 am The world is at its quietest You’re sound asleep in your bed unaware of how much I’m missing you
I heard the series of voice notes you sent me the other day It made me feel happy,even if it was just for a few seconds I was happy,I haven’t been happy since you left Without a word,without a smile and without an explanation
I would have liked to say that I loved you But I didn’t I don’t. You were just familiar to me Your voice gave me chills Your laugh made me smile even at the hardest of times Your hug gave me warmth But I didn’t love you You were just familiar faces
Someone told me you’ve moved on That you’re dating a guy now He makes you happy He isn’t as awkward as I am He takes you out To him coming to meet you doesn’t mean crossing a freaking lake
Someone asked me a question the other day They asked me what my story was How could i tell them that my story is only half written How it’s a series of unrequited love Several instances of hurt Days and nights of endless tears How can I tell them about you
The awkward girl with self confidence issues The one whose voice lights up my day How a a shitty day gets better with just one text How everything around reminds me of you How I’ve stopped hurting myself because you hated it
I still think about you I still watch from a distance I still think about “little spoon” and playful banter I didn’t love you I loved everything about you.
I’d like to say I’ve moved on now It’s been 4 months since I last saw you but all I can think about is how I wasn’t enough for you How everything I did to make you happy just wasn’t worth it in the end How you just left like I was nothing to you
I was scrolling through my messages and I came across an unopened one from you It pained me to see your name on the screen It’s like all the unanswered questions all came rushing back at once All the why’s and how’s came up to the surfaces rushing out like my feelings Like the tears threatening to fall on this paper But me being an idiot,I decided to open it You had finally apologised.
“I’m sorry for all I’ve done” you said “It was wrong for me to tear you down I know I hurt you bad but everyone makes mistakes” I wish I had shut my phone or just deleted that message for had I known it would have hurt less “I love you and I’m sorry please take me back” I could hear your voice crying in my head You don’t know how hard it was for me to let you go You were supposed to be in this audience cheering me on “Write about me one last time you said” So here you go “old buddy” Here’s an ode to the one who broke me beyond repair"
