#queerfreakynoodle

First of all, it is absolutely not right for your mom to guilt you into apologizing for expecting your pronouns to be respected, or yelling at you for it.

Second, your pronouns are not a burden in any way, shape, or form.

I’m not sure what you’re currently doing to remind them you use they/them pronouns, so I’m not sure what would be more subtle in comparison. One way you could do it is just interject your pronouns into conversation. So like, for instance, if your mom says to a friend “(incorrect pronouns) is my child,” immediately just say “they.” Short and sweet and shouldn’t start a scene, hopefully.

Another way is, if you are correcting your family in conversation and that’s when they’re getting mad at you, try pulling each member aside privately to talk about it, like, “Hey, I noticed you’re continuing to not use they/them for me. This hurts me and makes me feel like you don’t respect my identity and wishes.” 

Remember, though, only do what you feel you can do both comfortably and safely.