i chewed over how to respond to this ask for a while. unfortunately, this is not an uncommon story among shippers - even if it is a rather absurd consequence. i have old fandom friends who ship only one of my otps and basically all of my notps, and vice versa for them to me. a few of them got into sheef, and that ship squicks me out. but like, A) none of my business and B) different strokes for different folks. shipping is a dynamic preference, and almost never anything more. it should never determine friendships, particularly with people you know in real life. online is a little different, because the blacklist ship tag (or even block) is a thing, but there’s almost no excuse for not being civil

however,

as someone who came to terms with being panromantic/into girls (bc i always knew i liked boys) only a few months before the shiro sdcc reveal, and the rampant biphobia that ensued, i know how much biphobic and panphobic reactions can hurt. because that’s what your ‘friends’ chose to do. they choose to be biphobic in their decision that someone shiro being gay was better than him being bi, despite both being able to coexist if people weren’t asshats about it. the shallura fandom was nothing but thrilled that our boy was canon confirmed queer (ie. somewhere on the lgbtq+ spectrum, and for fans to pick for themselves) the way we’d been seeing him for two years at that point. and then the hate came and the joy that had come from the announcement was hurt and anger. i definitely know how you feel.

and you have every right to be hurt by your ‘friends’ reaction. it’s hurtful even when it’s just online and from strangers online, too. overcompensation (ie. the ‘i don’t want to share’ impulse) in the face of underrepresentation is one hell of a toxin. but none of that is your fault, you did not deserve to be left, and hopefully one day your friends can grow up and be more open minded.

remember that most people are open minded. remember that a lot of the shallura fandom are wlw, and bi like yourself. we call out bi erasure and phobia when we see it. we ship shiro with a woman he’s always respected and one who has done more for him over the course of the show than arguably any other character. they have a deep, loving relationship, platonic or romantic. there is nothing to be ashamed of in loving their love.

whether or not you ship shallura doesn’t matter, as the trend of characters possible attraction to more than one gender (ie. being bi, pan, or ace) is immediately erased in some capacity the second they kiss someone of the same sex (i was in the Legend of Korra fandom back in the day. korra and asami are both bi women of colour. even now, there are still posts calling them lesbians. thanks for the biphobia, folks).

that doesn’t mean, it’s not changing though. there are more bi characters on tv than ever before, and even a few pan ones too. bi and pan people experience something that gay people actually don’t, which is how harmful gatekeeping can be, especially when it’s coming from the community that’s supposed to accept you wholeheartedly and you know the rest of the world certainly doesn’t.

last but not least, my advice: love yourself and your sexuality. stick by the friend you stood up for, and have solidarity. get new friends and root out this type of behaviour beforehand so you can hold onto the good ones. and if you’re sad, listen to this song called “getting bi.” i hope in some way it can bring a smile to your face.

I reblogged some Queer Shiro HC’s from @smolsarcasticraspberry and I have a week left till my deadline so OBVIOUSLY I had to listen to McCafferty and do a little doodle of one of my fave guys no I didn’t give him my pink hair what do you mean projection?!